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Offices located in Cape Coral and Sarasota

Crisis Intimacy

Crisis Intimacy.   Two words that almost don’t seem like they belong in the same thought, but surprisingly crisis can bring us more intimacy than ever before.  Crisis happens to some degree at some point in all of our lives.  It is up to us to harness this time as a tool to strengthen our intimacy or to let it fall apart.

If you are in crisis, know someone who is or just want to feel prepared for when disaster strikes here a few quick tips to consider:

-Everyone is stressed.    That means your partner too.  It is much easier to carry the burden with a partner than by yourself.

-Give a warm embrace, take a deep breath and commit to working through it together.

-Crisis happens.  Sometimes unexpected problems arise in life talking through them and working through each step together.  You might get to see the very best in each other and fall in love all over again.  Heroism is a common theme when catastrophe strikes and might be a side of your partner you don’t normally get to see!

 

Power outages, storms, illness, raising a family even car accidents are the occasional crisis we will all find ourselves in at some point or another.  Is it your time to shine?

 

Are you wanting a vacation in paradise, one that will re-kindle the passion that has been lost? A vacation without kids. A vacation where you learn how to communicate. A vacation where your partner actually hears you and gains insight – Vacation Counseling is Your Next Vacation.

Creative Intimacy

 

Creative intimacy is a relaxing, passive way to bring couples together. Sharing activities that bring us joy, stimulate the mind and spirit and help keep stress under control have immeasurable benefits for couples.  

 

Some immediate health benefits of being creative are:

  • Boosts mood
  • Boosts brain function
  • Increases immune health and defense

 

Creative intimacy doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive.  You can write a letter, play a board game or draw pictures with your eyes closed! Be silly and try new things often.  

 

Cultivating intimacy doesn’t happen overnight.  It is the daily effort we make to see more deeply into our significant other’s mind and soul. 

 

At Cape Coral and Fort Myers Therapists we see couples every day whose lives are forever changed by exploring conflict and intimacy and how to fight fair.  We want to help you too. We are currently accepting new clients at both locations for quality counseling services.

 

 

 

If you are not a resident of Florida, and find your relationship in turmoil we are excited to announce we are now accepting applications for Vacation Counseling for the 2020 season.  Are you in need of a vacation where the intimate connection can be found? Where your partner listens and gains valuable insight? A vacation with out kids? A vacation in paradise? Vacation Counseling is your next vacation.

Conflict Intimacy

 

Yes, sometimes we disagree, even argue.  We have more conflict with those we are closest to because we share so much of ourselves and our lives with those we love most. Conflict is inevitable, but it doesn’t always have to bring distance in a relationship. When used as a tool to explore our differences, conflict can work to bring us closer.

Here are our tips for maximizing intimacy, even during conflict:

  • Maintain your composure.  The key here is tone of voice (and volume)  Being loud doesn’t make you right, it stalls communication.
  • Attack the argument, not the person – name calling is never fair, don’t do it.
  • Be polite.  Be mindful of your partners thoughts and don’t interrupt.
  • Say you’re sorry.
  • Focus only on the issue at hand.  Focus on the present.

At Cape Coral and Fort Myers Therapists we see couples every day whose lives are forever changed by exploring conflict and intimacy and how to fight fair.  We want to help you too. We are currently accepting new clients at both locations for quality counseling services.

 

If you are not a resident of Florida, and find your relationship in turmoil we are excited to announce we are now accepting applications for Vacation Counseling for the 2020 season.  Are you in need of a vacation where the intimate connection can be found?  Where your partner listens and gains valuable insight?  A vacation with out kids?  A vacation in paradise?   Vacation Counseling is your next vacation.

Communication Intimacy

 

Today’s topic is abundant and far reaching.  Communication leads to deeper intimacy.  Intimacy leads to better communication.  Communication IS intimacy and intimacy IS communication.

People connect through talking and keeping the communication channels open brings an abundance of intimacy into our relationships.  Be it with friends, family, or your partner.

Some things to consider when sharpening your communication skills:

  • Listen and value the other person’s ideas
  • Be loving, compassionate, respectful and truthful
  • Be open in your communication to them
  • Eliminate distractions whenever possible

Follow these quick tips and you will be well on your way to meaningful communication and authentic intimacy.

 

As always, we are here to help.  If you or someone you love is in need of our services please reach out today.

 

Tuesday Tip: Aesthetic Intimacy

 

Join us as we start our fall series “Bringing Basics Back”.  This series will have a new Tuesday Tip every week with simple ways to open the door to intimacy  every day. 

Aesthetic Intimacy

 

For our first step in “Bringing Basics Back” we take a look at aesthetic intimacy.  Sharing experiences of beauty can relax and calm the body leading to opening up about deeper authentic feelings.   

Taking a stroll through the botanical gardens, enjoying the evening sunset together or perusing an art museum are all forms of sharing aesthetic intimacy.  

According to the University of Utah, there are seven health benefits to nurturing loving, intimate relationships: 

  1. We live longer.
  2. We heal quicker.
  3. We have lower blood pressure
  4. We are more physically fit. 
  5. We enjoy good heart health
  6. We feel less pain.  

 

When you take the dog for a walk tonight, invite your partner and enjoy the tall trees, gaze at the flowers in their last bloom of summer, or stop and watch the birds play and sing.  Your heart will thank you for years to come.

 

If you would like to discuss intimacy, or any other mental health topic with Dr. Brown or any member of her team, please visit Dr.April Brown

The Importance of Self-Intimacy

Have you noticed a real lack of connection in any of your relationships? This lack of connection can be family, friends, or a loved one. Although you may feel this lack of connection one thing is for sure, you are not alone. For most of us our problems or lack of connection with other people comes from a lack of connection with ourselves. It’s time we look self-intimacy as part of the overall problem with connecting with others intimately.

What is Self-Intimacy?

Self intimacy is focused on being fully aware of your feelings, it acknowledges and understand those feelings with the ability to discuss them with the people you trust. It requires communication, however some of us are better at communicating than others. Regardless if you have the gift of communication, it’s very important that you are in touch with your feelings on a consistent basis.

Self intimacy requires a daily check up to make sure you are fully aware of your emotions. Unchecked emotions turns into prolonged issues. Self-intimacy is the first critical step in getting to know ourselves — not only so that we can become closer with others — but so that we can finally see that we’re actually pretty perfect, just as we are. We know that in order to love others we must first love ourselves, it is the same for intimacy. Intimacy in relationships will only take place if each person first learns too be intimate with themselves.

How Can I Improve Self-Intimacy?

Thought you would never ask. First,

Find out what blockages are keeping your from having self-intimacy.

Insecurities play a major role in our ability to be self-intimate. Past trauma and abuse play a major roles in our insecurities not allowing any intimacy to develop in our lives. In addition, a lack of communication can seriously hamper any attempts to develop intimacy in our lives. Keep in mind one that of the most important components of intimacy is the ability to communicate. This also includes the inability to communicate effectively with our-selves. A lack of communication with one-self happens when we live in denial or are unable to see the reality of our decisions and actions.

Take care of yourself.

Isolation is not the key and can be painful for some. Peace and solitude, however, is one of life’s most precious gifts. Whether it’s spending a day at home alone or going out solo for coffee or a movie, doing things on your own can build confidence and help strengthen your inner bond. Or, why not go bold? Take yourself on a relaxing holiday or sign up for a new class without knowing a single person in it.

Dr. April Brownis a leading author in the development of self-intimacy and relationship intimacy. If your life is lacking the intimacy it so desperately needs contact us.

 

Anxiety and Stress In Your Relationship

Stress & Anxiety

Millions of Americans experience stress and anxiety at one time or another. The difference between the two is that stress is a response to a threat in a situation, while anxiety is a reaction to the stress.

Whether in good times or bad, most people say that stress increasingly impacts their lives. In addition, chronic stress can affect your health, causing symptoms from headaches, high blood pressure, and chest pain to heart palpitations, skin rashes, and loss of sleep.

 

Anxiety and stress can negatively impact many aspects of your life, including your relationships. Relationships today are under more increasing pressure than ever. Whether it’s a lack of communication, intimacy, or conflict resolution couples are facing unprecedented problems. Excessive anxiety and stress can lead to inappropriate suspiciousness or paranoia, which may manifest as a concern that your partner is not faithful or does not love or care for you as much as you do. Also, you may be suspicious that your mate is leaving you out of activities or talking badly about you behind your back.

Stress and anxiety can also lead to overthinking, planning for all worst-case scenarios, being indecisive, fearing rejection, and seeking out constant communication (and getting anxious if a partner or friend does not respond quickly).

While levels of anxiety and stress can be healthy (it can motivate people and/or help them sense danger within their environment), for some, their anxiety or stress is overwhelming and debilitating, which can be extremely detrimental to relationships.

Contact us if you find yourself being overly distant in your relationships, as cognitive behavioral therapy, along with couples counseling may be necessary. A mental health professional can help a person explore past and present relationships and determine if there is a pattern of anxiety or stress.

Forgiveness Intimacy

Forgiveness Intimacy

forgiveness intimacy couple

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”—Mahatma Gandhi

All couples eventually experience times of conflict, hurt, and letting each other down. Sometimes the offense is as minor as forgetting a date or failing to run an errand. For some couples, the offense might involve a major betrayal such as infidelity, addiction, or abuse. Either way, taking time to seek and grant forgiveness can play a powerful role in healing and restoring the relationship.

Forgiveness is the decision or choice to give up the right for vengeance, retribution, and negative thoughts toward an offender in order to be free from anger and resentment. This process promotes healing and restoration of inner peace, and it can allow reconciliation to take place in the relationship.

It is also important to be clear about what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not forgetting, condoning, or perpetuating injustice. Since it is sometimes unsafe or impossible, forgiveness does not always involve reconciliation. Forgiveness is not always quick; it is a process that can take time to unfold. Don’t rush your partner if they need to spend days or weeks working through the process of granting forgiveness.

SIX STEPS FOR SEEKING FORGIVENESS

1. Admit what you did was wrong or hurtful.
2. Try to understand/empathize with the pain you have caused.
3. Take responsibility for your actions and make restitution if necessary.

4. Assure your partner you will not do it again.
5. Apologize and ask for forgiveness.
6. Forgive yourself.

SIX STEPS FOR GRANTING FORGIVENESS

1. Acknowledge your pain and anger. Allow yourself to feel disrespected.
2. Be specific about your future expectations and limits.
3. Give up your right to “get even,” but insist on being treated better in the future.

4. Let go of blame, resentment, and negativity toward your partner.
5. Communicate your act of forgiveness to your partner.
6. Work toward reconciliation (when safe).

 

Conflict Intimacy

What Is Conflict Intimacy?

Conflict Intimacy is focused on facing and understanding the differences couples may have, and being able to respect those differences. Conflict resolution is a skill that couples must learn in order to maintain conflict intimacy.

All couples eventually experience times of conflict, hurt, and letting each other down. Sometimes the offense is as minor as forgetting a date or failing to run an errand. For some couples, the offense might involve a major betrayal such as infidelity, addiction, or abuse. Either way, taking time to seek and grant forgiveness can play a powerful role in healing and restoring the relationship.

Forgiveness is the decision or choice to give up the right for vengeance, retribution, and negative thoughts toward an offender in order to be free from anger and resentment. This process promotes healing and restoration of inner peace, and it can allow reconciliation to take place in the relationship.

It is also important to be clear about what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not forgetting, condoning, or perpetuating injustice. Since it is sometimes unsafe or impossible, forgiveness does not always involve reconciliation. Forgiveness is not always quick; it is a process that can take time to unfold. Don’t rush your partner if they need to spend days or weeks working through the process of granting forgiveness.

SIX STEPS FOR SEEKING FORGIVENESS

1. Admit what you did was wrong or hurtful.
2. Try to understand/empathize with the pain you have caused.
3. Take responsibility for your actions and make restitution if necessary.                                                                                         4. Assure your partner you will not do it again.
5. Apologize and ask for forgiveness.
6. Forgive yourself.

SIX STEPS FOR GRANTING FORGIVENESS

1. Acknowledge your pain and anger. Allow yourself to feel disrespected.
2. Be specific about your future expectations and limits.
3. Give up your right to “get even,” but insist on being treated better in the future.                                                                        4. Let go of blame, resentment, and negativity toward your partner.
5. Communicate your act of forgiveness to your partner.
6. Work toward reconciliation (when safe).

Couples often seek professional counseling when their inability to resolve conflict becomes problematic.

Contact Dr. April today for a complimentary consultation www.draprilbrown.comor www.capecoraltherapists.com
(239) 565-6921

Why Spiritual Intimacy Is A Must

Spiritual intimacy is often misunderstood by majority of couples. In relationships couples often have different  religious views and fail to realize that they still can connect spiritually. Spiritual intimacy is not about having identical views on religion, it about connecting to the spirit of your mate. This connection spiritually will overcome the challenges of being in a relationship that couples face.

 

What Exactly Is Spiritual Intimacy?

According to Dr. April Brown, Spiritual Intimacy is discovering and sharing values, religious views, spiritual feelings, meaning in life, etc. Therfore, regardless of religious views, it is essential for couples to develop spiritual intimacy regardless of personal religious views. Couples with differing views religiously often fall in love, this is not uncommon. The problem is that because of the differing views no further attempt is made to connect spiritually. Couples who disagree religiously can still pray together, meditate together, go somewhere scenic and beautiful and just sit under a tree. There are numerous ways to connect spiritually but many couples fail to put forth the effort.

What Can Couples Do To Build Spiritual Intimacy?

Due to some strong personal spiritual beliefs overcoming the lack of spiritual intimacy between couples may be difficult to impossible on their own. Seek professional help. Spiritual counselors help people along their path to spiritual growth. The objective can include finding a life purpose, overcoming obstacles, and putting pain and grief into perspective. The path doesn’t look the same for everyone, so it’s no surprise that there are spiritual counselors representing different concepts of spirituality, including Christianity and New Age belief systems. Like other counselors, spiritual counselors do a lot of listening. They may also employ other modalities, but many fail to tap into the power of prayer.

Dr. April Brown provides professional mental health services, education, training and faith based support services in person and via online distance counseling.