Learning how to connect with your spouse or significant other through your faith is a remarkable way to cultivate intimacy on another level.  Even if you don’t necessarily share beliefs.

Sharing what we believe in, our faith and our deep thoughts about a governing power over this world can be a deeply vulnerable conversation.  What a glorious opportunity to bring a couple closer and more intimate.

Here are 5 tips for spiritual sharing and intimacy:

1. Respect your partners beliefs, even if you don’t agree.  Never put them down or try to make them feel bad for what they believe.  Be open minded and accepting of what they are sharing.
2. Don’t just share your beliefs, listen to your partners as well.   Spirituality can bring out some very strong, passionate emotions in people and we get so excited about what and why we feel and believe the way we do, we forget to let the other person get excited too!  Just remember to let the other person feel the same enthusiasm as you feel and it will keep the conversation going and open up new possibilities.
3. Explore together.  If you grew up with a specific spirituality and chose to stay in the same discipline as an adult, don’t let the routine get stale.  Instead, invite your partner with you as you explore the history, terminology and practices of your faith. This can be easier if they share your faith, but just as exciting if they don’t but are open to supporting you on your journey.
4. Quiet time together praying can be a powerful form of intimacy shared by spiritual couples.  Whether you pray out loud or silently is completely up to you and what you are comfortable with.
5. Passing your spirituality down to your children is a bonding experience of parenting.  Regardless of what your faith is, it can be a uniting journey to walk your children through your faith and watch them walk through the same growth experiences you have had.

If you feel your partner is not open to a spiritual conversation, talk with your counselor about how to get the ball rolling if its what you truly desire.

Crisis Intimacy.   Two words that almost don’t seem like they belong in the same thought, but surprisingly crisis can bring us more intimacy than ever before.  Crisis happens to some degree at some point in all of our lives.  It is up to us to harness this time as a tool to strengthen our intimacy or to let it fall apart.

If you are in crisis, know someone who is or just want to feel prepared for when disaster strikes here a few quick tips to consider:

-Everyone is stressed.    That means your partner too.  It is much easier to carry the burden with a partner than by yourself.

-Give a warm embrace, take a deep breath and commit to working through it together.

-Crisis happens.  Sometimes unexpected problems arise in life talking through them and working through each step together.  You might get to see the very best in each other and fall in love all over again.  Heroism is a common theme when catastrophe strikes and might be a side of your partner you don’t normally get to see!

Power outages, storms, illness, raising a family even car accidents are the occasional crisis we will all find ourselves in at some point or another.  Is it your time to shine?

Yes, sometimes we disagree, even argue.  We have more conflict with those we are closest to because we share so much of ourselves and our lives with those we love most. Conflict is inevitable, but it doesn’t always have to bring distance in a relationship. When used as a tool to explore our differences, conflict can work to bring us closer.

Here are our tips for maximizing intimacy, even during conflict:

• Maintain your composure.  The key here is tone of voice (and volume)  Being loud doesn’t make you right, it stalls communication.
• Attack the argument, not the person – name calling is never fair, don’t do it.
• Be polite.  Be mindful of your partners thoughts and don’t interrupt.
• Say you’re sorry.
• Focus only on the issue at hand.  Focus on the present.

At Cape Coral and Fort Myers Therapists we see couples every day whose lives are forever changed by exploring conflict and intimacy and how to fight fair.  We want to help you too. We are currently accepting new clients at both locations for quality counseling services.

If you are not a resident of Florida, and find your relationship in turmoil we are excited to announce we are now accepting applications for Vacation Counseling for the 2020 season.  Are you in need of a vacation where the intimate connection can be found?  Where your partner listens and gains valuable insight?  A vacation with out kids?  A vacation in paradise?   Vacation Counseling is your next vacation.

Today’s topic is abundant and far reaching.  Communication leads to deeper intimacy.  Intimacy leads to better communication.  Communication IS intimacy and intimacy IS communication.

People connect through talking and keeping the communication channels open brings an abundance of intimacy into our relationships.  Be it with friends, family, or your partner.

Some things to consider when sharpening your communication skills:

• Listen and value the other person’s ideas
• Be loving, compassionate, respectful and truthful
• Be open in your communication to them
• Eliminate distractions whenever possible

Follow these quick tips and you will be well on your way to meaningful communication and authentic intimacy.

As always, we are here to help.  If you or someone you love is in need of our services please reach out today.

Find out what blockages are keeping your from having self-intimacy.

Insecurities play a major role in our ability to be self-intimate. Past trauma and abuse play a major roles in our insecurities not allowing any intimacy to develop in our lives. In addition, a lack of communication can seriously hamper any attempts to develop intimacy in our lives. Keep in mind one that of the most important components of intimacy is the ability to communicate. This also includes the inability to communicate effectively with our-selves. A lack of communication with one-self happens when we live in denial or are unable to see the reality of our decisions and actions.

Take care of yourself.

Isolation is not the key and can be painful for some. Peace and solitude, however, is one of life’s most precious gifts. Whether it’s spending a day at home alone or going out solo for coffee or a movie, doing things on your own can build confidence and help strengthen your inner bond. Or, why not go bold? Take yourself on a relaxing holiday or sign up for a new class without knowing a single person in it.

Dr. April Brownis a leading author in the development of self-intimacy and relationship intimacy. If your life is lacking the intimacy it so desperately needs contact us.

What Is Conflict Intimacy?

Conflict Intimacy is focused on facing and understanding the differences couples may have, and being able to respect those differences. Conflict resolution is a skill that couples must learn in order to maintain conflict intimacy.

Spiritual intimacy is often misunderstood by majority of couples. In relationships couples often have different  religious views and fail to realize that they still can connect spiritually. Spiritual intimacy is not about having identical views on religion, it about connecting to the spirit of your mate. This connection spiritually will overcome the challenges of being in a relationship that couples face.

What Exactly Is Spiritual Intimacy?

According to Dr. April Brown, Spiritual Intimacy is discovering and sharing values, religious views, spiritual feelings, meaning in life, etc. Therfore, regardless of religious views, it is essential for couples to develop spiritual intimacy regardless of personal religious views. Couples with differing views religiously often fall in love, this is not uncommon. The problem is that because of the differing views no further attempt is made to connect spiritually. Couples who disagree religiously can still pray together, meditate together, go somewhere scenic and beautiful and just sit under a tree. There are numerous ways to connect spiritually but many couples fail to put forth the effort.

What Can Couples Do To Build Spiritual Intimacy?

Contrary to some beliefs senior citizens have the same issues that younger couples face in relationships. Honestly, some issues are only experienced by seniors. In most cases issues cannot be resolved on their own. It can be difficult to be objective without feeling the sting of accusations that often cause couples to be defensive with each other. A practical solution to resolving relationship issues is relationship counseling. According to peoplesproblems.org, here are some reasons some seniors may have for going to couples or relationship counseling.

1. Bickering Turns into Arguing

Some arguing in a relationship is perfectly normal, according to a Psychology Today article on the psychology of love and the nature of relationships. If, however, occasional bickering turns into a full blown fight with increasing frequency, it may be time to consider relationship counseling. Seniors are generally not as quick to end a relationship because of fighting. Yet, a relationship characterized by constant fighting, can lead to serious health issues in seniors such as stress, fatigue, depression and even serious physical conditions. According to the Marriage Counseling Guide, couples therapy teaches each partner how to really listen and state their opinion without going right into argument mode.

2. Sense of Apathy

According to a recent study on common issues concerning the elderly, there is a direct connection between relationship apathy and cognitive dysfunction. In other words, sometimes when you get older you take one another for granted. According to a study referenced by the AARP, this is a common concern among seniors. Nobody likes to feel like what they say or do doesn’t matter. This may not be the case, but if one partner feels this way it can lead to depression and other emotion-based conditions. People, regardless of age, like to appreciated every now and then.

3. Sexual Issues

According to a 2007 study of 3,005 adults ages 57 to 85, seniors still enjoy a healthy sex life. Yet, some seniors may experience diminished sexual intimacy as they age. This may be due a partner’s physical inability to perform the way they did previously. A big part of is connecting with your partner in more than a physical way. This may involve discussing your needs with your partner or simply finding other ways to be intimate. A counseling setting takes away some of the embarrassment some seniors may feel when discussing such issues.

4. Lack of Communication

Communication issues are really at the heart of most issues. Seniors, in particular, may assume their partner knows how they feel. As a result, you may find yourself not telling your partner something as simple as “I love you” or offer words of encouragement. A common defense is that your partner should know how you feel. Regardless of age, people still like to hear that they are loved and what they do matters. A major part of relationship counseling is addressing communication issues. Reestablishing lines of communication may ultimately breathe new life into a relationship.

5. Lifestyle Adjustments

Seniors often face a major change in lifestyle as they grow older. This may include having more free time due to retirement or having more disposable income to enjoy leisure activities. While this can be a good thing, sometimes one partner is not used to having the other one around as much. Conversely, some seniors may cut back or eliminate many social activities they did before retirement. Both situations can put stress on a relationship. Relationship therapy provides a forum to voice concerns and reach a compromise that works for both partners.

Relationships face challenges, regardless of age. Some seniors may find it difficult to go to relationship counseling due to preconceived notions or a belief that marriage issues are private. Senior relationships are often built on a combination of love and friendship. As we go from one stage of life to another, there are changes that take place. Sometimes these changes put a strain on an otherwise healthy relationship. It is important to understand that relationship counseling is not about placing blame. It is about working out issues in a relationship that, at its core, is still strong.

A practical solution to resolving relationship issues is relationship counseling.