Yes, sometimes we disagree, even argue.  We have more conflict with those we are closest to because we share so much of ourselves and our lives with those we love most. Conflict is inevitable, but it doesn’t always have to bring distance in a relationship. When used as a tool to explore our differences, conflict can work to bring us closer.

Here are our tips for maximizing intimacy, even during conflict:

• Maintain your composure.  The key here is tone of voice (and volume)  Being loud doesn’t make you right, it stalls communication.
• Attack the argument, not the person – name calling is never fair, don’t do it.
• Be polite.  Be mindful of your partners thoughts and don’t interrupt.
• Say you’re sorry.
• Focus only on the issue at hand.  Focus on the present.

At Cape Coral and Fort Myers Therapists we see couples every day whose lives are forever changed by exploring conflict and intimacy and how to fight fair.  We want to help you too. We are currently accepting new clients at both locations for quality counseling services.

If you are not a resident of Florida, and find your relationship in turmoil we are excited to announce we are now accepting applications for Vacation Counseling for the 2020 season.  Are you in need of a vacation where the intimate connection can be found?  Where your partner listens and gains valuable insight?  A vacation with out kids?  A vacation in paradise?   Vacation Counseling is your next vacation.

Contact us if you find yourself being overly distant in your relationships, as cognitive behavioral therapy, along with couples counseling may be necessary. A mental health professional can help a person explore past and present relationships and determine if there is a pattern of anxiety or stress.

Intimacy Counseling

Intimacy is the sharing of one’s soul with another person’s, depth of trust, and profound insights into each other. That level of emotional interaction strengthens  character, focus and integrity. Social media and other outlets have degraded the concept of intimacy in relationships, as a “What’s in it for me?” mindset has settled in. Intimacy has been perverted from its respected form into something that is lacking in most relationships today.

The continuous degradation of intimacy in relationships has led to more couples seeking counseling.

FEAR OF INTIMACY

Intimacy can help you feel more loved and less alone. But intimacy also requires a great deal of trust and vulnerability, and you may find this frightening. Many people struggle with intimacy, and fear of intimacy is a common concern in therapy.

People can fear intimacy due to a variety of reasons. Some of the most common causes include:

• Abandonment Issues: You may fear that once you become attached to someone, that individual will leave.
• Fear of Rejection: You might worry that once you reveal any flaws or imperfections, the other person will no longer want to be with you.
• Control Issues: You may fear losing your independence as you become emotionally connected to others.
• Past Abuse: A history of childhood abuse, especially sexual abuse, may make it difficult for you to trust others.

BUILDING INTIMACY IN A RELATIONSHIP

It is possible to overcome fears of intimacy. A compassionate counselor can help you understand the underlying emotions driving your fear. They can help you address these feelings and find healthier ways to cope with them besides isolating yourself. Dr. April Brown is a Licensed Mental Health Christian Counselor, Certified School Counselor, Distance Certified Counselor, National Certified Counselor, and a Qualified Clinical Supervisor. She has a thriving private practice in Cape Coral and Fort Myers, Florida where she specializes in intimacy counseling

Sometimes mental health issues like avoidant personality disorder can also contribute to intimacy issues. Treating these diagnoses can also offer significant benefits.

The following suggestions may allow you and your partner to grow closer.

• Be patient. Getting to truly know someone is a serious time commitment. The trust-building process is often a slow one. Intimacy is not a race.
• Start with the easy stuff.If you find it easier to talk about the future than the past, then start by sharing your dreams and goals. As trust builds, you may find it less frightening to talk about the more difficult topics.
• Talk openly about your needs. Are you someone who needs a lot of time alone to recharge? How often do you like to have sex? You can prevent a lot of misunderstandings if you tell your partner plainly what you want instead of assuming your desires are “obvious”.
• Respect each other’s differences.Even the most intimate partners still have their own identities. You and your partner do not need to agree on everything in order to love each other.

  Are you and your significant other struggling in your connection to one another?   For some reason, that bond or closeness seems to be going away.  There is a wall between you two.  Intimacy coaching can help, because it is a process to help men and women who are struggling with the issues of love, intimacy, and romance, get the love and relationship they want.

  In the coaching sessions, Dr. April will work on breaking down the walls that prevent intimacy through:

  • Exploring each person’s mind, body, and spirit

  • Uncovering each person’s thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that have been unconsciously forming their sexual attitudes and behaviors

  • Learning, understanding, and communicating each person’s needs, wants, and desires

  • Repairing and creating passionate strong bonds that will create and maintain satisfying intimacy.

    For more information about intimacy coaching, contact Dr. April – where intimacy is real.

  REQUEST AN APOINTMENT WITH DR. APRILL

Negative thinking is quite contagious, once it infects someone the symptoms may persist over a lifetime. Most Americans fail to recognize the repercussions of thinking negatively.

The effects are far more psychological, they are physical and will impact your spiritual life. Negative thinking not only comes from negative events that are currently taking place but also past experiences. In fact, past negative experiences are the most harmful as neurological pathways are formed which link past negative thoughts to current experiences. Undoubtedly, we are the product of our thoughts and past perceptions, and learning to reprogram our thinking process is crucial in overcoming a negative mindset.

Negative Thinking Lead to Health Issues

I’m sure we all know a “Negative Nancy” or a “Miserable Mark”. If you happen know this individual as a negative person for an extended amount of time I sure you wouldn’t consider them to be physically “healthy”. However, people who work out consistently tend to be positive individuals. There is a definite inverse relationship and the key to it all is energy. Negative people lack emotional and sometimes physical energy. Many people with negative attitudes have developed them as a defense mechanism to keep people away from consuming their precious energy. Once someone has established themselves as a negative individual they are less likely to be approached for the slightest thing by friends or family therefore preserving their energy.

According to Psychology Today, “Whilst we know that a person’s genetics and life circumstances contribute to mental health problems, the results show that traumatic life events are the main reason people suffer from anxiety and depression. However, the way a person thinks about, and deals with, stressful events is as much an indicator of the level of stress and anxiety they feel,” said lead researcher, Peter Kinderman, Head of the Institute of Psychology, Health and Society.

Here are 5 steps to stop the patterns of negative thinking.

1. Acknowledge that your thinking process is negative.
2. Eliminate words such as could’ve, probably, maybe, should’ve etc from your vocabulary entirely.
3. Listen to and repeat positive affirmations daily. (YOU TUBE)
4. Pray and meditate
5. Speak with a Professional Counselor