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Protecting Your Peace

Peace is often thought to look like a straw hammock on a sunny beach or a crackling indoor fireplace on a cold day. And as comforting as these moments are, what they represent is something deeper and more crucial for fortifying our mental health. How can we cultivate feelings of peace that carry over into our day-to-day lives?

In our era of 24-hour news cycles and constant smartphone notifications, it may feel like there’s simply no time for real peace. When free time arises in our busy lives, we have an instant abundance of bite-sized video clips, clickbait headlines, and social messaging to drown our attention in. And somewhere in the constant reach for pleasing distraction, we might occasionally wonder why we feel drained, strained, and burnt out.

Now more than ever it is up to us to be deliberate about cultivating peace. It starts with finding what practice works best for us – prayer, mediation, reading, walking, journaling, or other focused, lowkey activities. It should facilitate a shift from preoccupation to centered mindfulness, creating time for presence, reflection, and grounding. With enough consistency, practices like these can open up a new perspective quite different from the hustle mindset that colors modern life. But what happens when the practice ends, and we step back into daily life?

Just as peace is cultivated, it also needs to be protected. As a calm perspective helps us recognize the inner habits and outer noise that shake our focus, we can also find new approaches. This may look like restructuring a room to limit distractions, setting healthy boundaries in relationships, or challenging negative patterns of thinking or action. In doing so, we protect the restorative peace that prepares us to take on more of life’s challenges.

So, in those times when a vacation is still aways off and it feels like our responsibilities are piling up, we can always choose to be deliberate about cultivating and protecting our peace. When we set aside time for lowkey reflection and mindfulness, it can flow outward and refresh other areas of our busy lives.

Written by Louis Nicholas, IMH24151 – Registered Mental Health Intern

The Backwards Law

The concept of the “Backwards Law” comes from East-Asian Taoist and Zen Buddhist philosophies. The term comes from the works of Alan Watts, a prominent teacher of eastern philosophies in the west. The idea is very simple: the pursuit of something is simultaneously the pleasure and pain of it. On the one hand, humans are historically and philosophically happiest when they are working from scratch. When humans are coming from a place of nothing and striving towards something. The journey toward the goal is what brings humans the pleasure of it; not the goal itself. Once we attain whatever goal we strive toward, we may experience fleeting, momentary happiness, but it quickly dissipates in favor of pursuit of some other goal. We are only happy when the carrot is on the stick, we absolutely hate when we actually get it. Evolutionarily speaking, it is easy to see why we operate this way. An organism that is constantly dissatisfied with its surroundings and works tirelessly to improve everything around it as though its very being depends on it (because it does) will always beat out an organism that does anything less. At the same time it is important to acknowledge that, as human beings who are inherently dissatisfied with their surroundings, we need the carrot to be on the stick. If there is no carrot, no thing to strive toward, humans become lost and depressed. This idea becomes more complex with every magnification of it.

So why even discuss this? What is the point of bringing any of this up? Within this concept lies the key to happiness and even, dare I say, a satiation with one’s surroundings. The pursuit of some great goal or reward is in itself the error that we make as humans. Author Mark Manson
argues that the pursuit of a positive is in itself a negative experience. By pursuing happiness, you inadvertently tell yourself that you lack it. The Taoists would argue that you have everything you need to be as happy as you want right now. The thing you must do is accept and appreciate what you already have around you. In other words, deny your programming. Take the carrot and the stick and throw them in the trash.

Desire itself can be seen as one of the basic reasons why humans suffer. According to Zen Buddhist ideology, every desire is an opportunity for suffering. If you desire something, you establish an expectation for it. Once you establish an expectation for something, all of the joy and positivity that could be had vanishes from it. The best example I can give for this can be seen in competition. When you compete, your desire is to win. Therefore, if you win, you won’t be happy, because you expected it to happen. Winning was what was supposed to happen. You prepared for it, you practiced for it, you spent hours, days, months, maybe even years training to achieve it. So when it happens, it isn’t perceived as a big, great thing. It’s perceived as the thing that was supposed to happen. However, when you lose you have violated all expectations. You have fallen short. You have failed. You weren’t good enough to achieve the thing. This is why, when we establish an expectation for something, you set a precedent for a situation in which there is no potential for happiness; only either what you expected, or something far worse. It is either a net 0 or a net negative. There is no chance for a net positive.

Think back to some of the best experiences you’ve ever had in your life. The most interesting experiences, the best stories you have to tell. I would be willing to bet that the majority of these stories involve a situation that did not go according to the plan. That is because we enjoy situations the most when we have no expectations for how we want them to go. When you have no expectation for an event, there is only a pure, genuine, natural version of yourself acting in the moment. You are not trying to do anything, you are not forcing anything. You are just doing. Alan Watts wrote: “when you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink; but when you try to sink, you float”. The central idea here, is that things are already perfect the way they are. Do not zoom in. Do not try to dissect and pick apart the details. Accept things for what they are, as they are, who they are, and you will have set yourself up to have some very nice times ahead of you.

Written by: Bryce Miller, M.S., Ed.S.
WTB Therapy, LLC.
Lincoln , NE 68516
Phone: (850) 204-7973

Tips for Planning for Self-Care

Reaching the point of burnout is, unfortunately, an all too common experience for many. Given the fast-paced, productivity-based work culture that exists in America today, burnout has essentially become the marker by which we measure success. The message we receive is this: “If you feel like you have exhausted your limits, then you are doing something right!” There is this tendency to equate how much we produce to whether or not our lives are worthwhile, but this could not be more untrue. Similarly, rest is often portrayed as something you earn once you have put in the work, but this is also false. Rest is not something we need to work toward, it is something our bodies and minds require in order for us to make it through life. With this in mind, I have compiled a list of helpful tips to utilize when planning for self-care. While I wish I could tell you I picked this up without error, the only reason I am able to make such a list is because I have tried and failed many times… And this is what I have learned!
1. Identify the difference between things that make you feel rested versus what makes you feel fulfilled. Some activities might fall into both categories, but it is helpful to distinguish between the two. Restful activities often alleviate stress and induce a sense of tranquility. Fulfilling activities are things one enjoys and are often fun. For example, meditating or going on a walk might help one feel rested, whereas painting or gardening might be fulfilling.
2. Identify the people and things that hinder your ability to unwind. For instance, if you are a parent and being around your child is stressful in that you focus solely on their needs, you may need to find someone to care for your child during your self-care time. Similarly, having your work phone on you while you attempt to rest might prevent you from being able to relax as your phone might go off or you might feel compelled to check it regularly.
3. Review your weekly schedule and identify spaces of time in which you are able to engage in self-care. Whether your schedule is wide open or packed with commitments, making time for self-care is something one has to be intentional about planning because it will not always “just happen” or “work itself out.”
4. Once you have decided on a restful or fulfilling activity, have ensured you will not be distracted by certain people or things, and have chosen a date and time for self-care, make sure all of your regular responsibilities are tended to prior. As an example, one might handle all of their house chores, clear out their inbox, and predetermine dinner plans in order to set themselves up for nothing but rest on the day of their self-care. This is important because “past you” is taking care of “future you” in a way that will make you feel even more taken care of.
5. Finally, make sure you plan for self-care at least once a week. While there are ways to find rest and fulfillment in small ways throughout the week, it is imperative that you care for yourself and separate blocks of time. If you are able to give so much to others (i.e. work, school, family, etc.), you need to be able to give yourself much as well.
Written by Cindy-Joy Rosado – Graduate Student in Mental Health Counseling

Six Dimensions of Wellness

On the heels of world changing events like a global pandemic, many communities were intensely affected by Hurricane Ian in September. As we adjust to new challenges and situations which have arisen from these, we continue to experience the problems that existed before pandemics or natural disasters. Now, as we approach holidays and other stressful situations it is more important than ever to focus on key concepts for maintaining wellness.

Mental health counseling focuses on striving for wellness in all areas of our lives as foundational to managing stress and other mental health concerns. If you currently feel overwhelmed, lack direction, or simply don’t ‘know where to start try using the six dimensions of wellness listed below daily to gain control over your mental health and wellbeing.

Environment: First, take a look at your daily routines throughout the week and on the weekends. Your environment is your home, your commute, your workplace, etc. As you evaluate your space, you may feel calmer when your space is tidy and organized. This would become an area of focus each day by spending time to clean and organize and then to maintain this space. If your commute is stressful, take a look at areas you can improve. For example, choose calming music, an entertaining audiobook, or podcast to reduce the focus on the stressful aspects of the ride. Or turn the music off and use this time to transition from work to home.

Emotional: A daily focus on emotional wellness may begin with noticing your emotions throughout the day. Are you in control of your emotions? Do you struggle maintaining your level of calm, anxiety, happiness, sadness, or anger? Journaling is a great way to record your thoughts and learn more about the emotions you are experiencing. Therapy is a great place to jump start or explore this focus and to gain insight into how you are feeling and how you are currently managing.

Physical: Physical health is a dimension most of us are aware we need to focus on. A daily focus on physical health means eating foods that are nourishing, establishing a sleep schedule for adequate restorative sleep, going for a walk or taking time to stretch between activities throughout the day. These can be simple, but it requires us to make them a priority consistently to achieve wellness.

Intellectual: Learning something new every day can be the goal here. Or it can mean reading a new book, exploring a subject of interest at the library or online. Learn more about yourself as well by seeking to learn a new skill or hobby. Overlap between the dimensions might be helpful here, so use that long commute to listen to an audiobook or podcast.

Social: Focus on the social dimension might include calling a friend or a loved one just to check in and say hello. It may mean making time to visit a friend or family member. This could also be a time to overlap dimensions with the intellectual and join a group and learn to cook or paint. Volunteering your time is also a good way to develop friendships and make lasting contributions to the community.

Spiritual: This dimension is about your connection to your belief system. Meditation, prayer, or taking time to commune with nature are ways to recharge your batteries in this dimension. This also allows you to explore how you find meaning and the ways in which that meaning is influencing your life.

The six dimensions of wellness focus on our environment, emotional wellbeing, physical health, intellectual pursuits, spiritual involvement, and social interactions. Remember, we are individuals and our needs in each area will vary from person to person. Also, being flexible with how we focus on each dimension daily will help with making these a priority in some way every day. If you are having difficulty finding or maintaining balance in your life, reach out to a qualified mental health professional for assistance.

Written by April Daniel – Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern

Holly Jolly Stress

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Right? For some, the holiday season is a time to be anticipated. It’s a time for family, friends, celebrations, and thankfulness. Christmas carols boast of joy, love, cheer, family traditions and light hearts. This, however, is not the reality for some. The holiday season can be a time of extreme stress, exacerbated loneliness, depression, anxiety, and even grief. To make matters worse and the burden heavier, the holidays are also a time during which people tend to compare their lives to those around them, magnifying and compounding those negative feelings. Here are some important tips and reminders for those who struggle during the holiday season:

1. Consider creating new traditions for yourself if the old ones aren’t working.

2. Surround yourself with people who may be in a similar mindset during the holidays and need like-minded friendship and support. Focus on connecting with others even if it is not by conventional means. Avoid isolation and disconnection.

3. Recognize and accept your feelings without judgement. You are absolutely not alone. Be gentle with yourself and go out of your way to avoid potential triggers even if that means declining certain invitations.

4. Prioritize your self-care. Remember, the holiday season is just that: a season. If this time of year is particularly difficult for you, remember it will pass.

Written by Nicole Geddie – Graduate Student in Mental Health Counseling


by Ria Ruane, M.A., LMHC

I’ve always been attracted to and captivated by the sea. The therapeutic, lulling sounds of the waves, the glistening sunshine as it kisses the surf and the incredible, fascinating life within, such a gift, an absolute pleasure to behold!

For as long as I can remember, I found peace and serenity in, on or under the water. Swimming, beachcombing, boating, snorkeling, you name it, I’m in.

     When I was 5 years old, I crossed three beaches collecting colorful seashells. When my mom called her seven children in for lunch, she realized her youngest was gone and thought for sure I had been swallowed by the sea. In fact, I was in the police station, eating ice cream and waiting for her to pick me up with my new, shiny treasures.

     Over half a century has passed and I am fortunate enough to own an awesome condo on the sand in SWFL’s lovely Bonita Beach. So perfectly named as the word  ‘Bonita’ translates to beautiful in Spanish and Portuguese. They say, “If you’re lucky enough to have a place by the sea, you’re lucky enough.” On September 28, 2022, meteorologist and Hurricane Ian said differently. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel incredibly blessed. I now have the loss of a home to add to my life experiences. At least, it will help me build empathy for clients and after all, things can be rebuilt and replaced.

     September 27, 2022 and Mandatory Evacuation meant take very little and leave. I took a few photos, secured Hurricane shutters and headed inland for hours and hours of 150 mph wind, water and wait. The salty, snappy sea swelled and surged, tore out my shutters, blew out six sliders and took out every inch of my happy place. All that was left was covered in glass, sand and muck.

     After the storm, our community took a huge hit with catastrophic damage and destruction. Despite our best efforts to prepare, protect and defend, we flooded. Our homes and the days of our precious lives were overwhelmed and placed on hold by the same sea water that also provided everlasting moments of joy, serenity and peace. Now, like beach sand through an hourglass, we must move on to recover. In fact, we are a resilient community that will overcome and grow stronger because of this experience.

      My work as a realtor, leaves me scrambling to help the many displaced residents of SWFL find a place to stay, a place to call home.  Maslow’s hierarchy of needs sums up our situation quite nicely. As humans, we need to have our basic physiological needs met in order to survive. Think about it, how can we survive, never mind thrive, if we don’t have a place to stay, to be, to eat, to sleep, to live? It is also a basic human need to feel safe…safe from the storm. These needs are the baseline. Warm soup and a cozy blanket will always trump talk therapy. Safety, security, shelter, food, water, clothing, warmth, even sex rate high on our human needs check list. During this and other difficult life cycles, please remember self care. It is nonproductive to pour from an empty cup. Fill your cup and schedule time in your days (post-IAN daze) for activities that make your spirit soar.

     As a mental health counselor, specializing in grief and loss, I clearly recognize  the stages and cycle of grief that people are presently experiencing. Kubler-Ross’s Five Stages of Grief, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance, it’s all right here in our community. Many think the stages of loss are linear. In fact, the stages are cyclical and like a child’s water spray park, we can’t determine or plan for if, when or where any will pop up. One thing is for sure, it is virtually impossible to avoid emotional flooding when dealing with experiences that involve catastrophic loss.

     In addition to the stages of grief, I acknowledge the very real connection between storm flooding and emotional flooding that coexist with this type of trauma. In both instances, there are precautions we could and should take.

     An analogy I often use with clients is applicable here. During times of increased physical, emotional and mental stress, imagine a traffic light. The norm is green (Go) as we attend to our daily lives with manageable anxiety. As the storm gates open and the water begins to pour in (a.k.a. emotional arousal), we are signaled to pause. We need to be cognizant of the impending destruction that may occur if we continue without taking a ‘time out’ to consider calming, next best steps. Self soothing is an important part of the amber (Proceed with Caution) stage. Finally, as we near the red (Stop) zone, emotional relaxation becomes a matter of survival. This stage is where flooding is bound to occur. It is very difficult to make good decisions, communicate effectively or make healthy choices when flooded. Senses may shut down to a point where it is difficult to see, hear or even think as you would normally.  In the red zone, it is common for people to feel dissociated, fuzzy, extreme anger or fear, etc. Working with couples in crisis, we often see this during our Vacation Counseling Retreats. One person might feel as if they are moving in slow motion. Others might react with Flight, Fight, Freeze or Fawn during these difficult moments. Oftentimes, this is simply our minds’ way of dealing with red zone situations and/or trauma.

     When exposed to an overwhelming, high-anxiety situation, we must tend to basic physical survival. It is also imperative to incorporate evidence-based practices to prevent emotional damage and protect our mental health. These calming techniques include deep breathing exercises, guided visual imagery, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, prayer, mindfulness, music, art, positive thinking, etc. Solution Focused Therapy suggests we create an imaginary tool box in which we store helpful techniques that elicit the relaxation response. When one doesn’t work, we search for another until we find one that fits just right for each unique, stressful situation. Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) works best when we simply utilize positive, helpful strategies that have worked in the past and reduce or eliminate techniques that haven’t worked. Which works best for you? My absolute favorite relaxation “tool” is gratitude.

     I try to begin my day with a big stretch and count my blessings on the fingers of both of my hands. An example of some of the ten things I am grateful for might include the sunshine, my ability to get out of bed, my health and awesome music. Heck, I might include my toothbrush, toothpaste and flossers! Gratitude is a great way to start a great day even in the midst of storms that life might send our way.

     I’d like to end by thanking you for allowing me to share my story. First and foremost, I thank God for all of my blessings. I am grateful to all those that assisted others during this difficult time. I consider them angels on earth. I thank my mom for finding me when I am lost and always being there for me. I thank my siblings, my friends and my children for caring. I am grateful for my clients, for trusting me with their stories. I appreciate being in a position where I can help others who are experiencing grief and loss. It is an honor and a privilege to walk with them even for a little while on their journeys.

     If you are in need of emotional support after Hurricane Ian, please take advantage of Cape Coral Therapist Free Drop-In Support Groups for the Community. It helps to know that others may be struggling to get back on their feet and experiencing similar issues. Here at Cape Coral Therapists, you matter! We care and are here for you. We are all in this together as we discover how resilient we really are and move towards Recovery.

Nothing Changes if Nothing Ever Changes

Regardless of our thoughts or intentions for ourselves or others, this phrase reminds us we are experiencing difficulty because doing the same thing over and over isn’t working. We need to change. We need to break a cycle or a way of being.

Change can be very difficult which is the reason cycles repeat. Anyone can fall victim to habit or routine and the excuses that maintain them. We can see these cycles repeating among our families, friends, coworkers, and others. It is also evident when someone chooses to change. To do something different. This breaks the cycle.

Change doesn’t have to be big or even scary. Sometimes it is just the way we think about a certain situation, ourselves, or others. Thinking differently is the beginning of change.

Impactful change can result from changing our vantage point or location. These changes may alter our moods! Skeptical? Give it a try, the next time you feel anxious, depressed, hopeless, or frustrated.

Challenge yourself to stand up and walk to another room, to a window, or outdoors. See how just moving yourself can feel like the beginning of a bigger change. At the very least, you handled your situation in a different way. You chose to think of it differently and to act upon those thoughts which lead to powerful, meaningful changes.

If the small change felt good, challenge yourself to consider the next step in this change. Will you incorporate this change into your routine? Will you add to this step by taking another step toward your goal of changing your self-perception, your situation, or relationships? It can!

It all starts with one small change.

Written by April Daniel, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern #21443

Summer Loving ❤️

Summer… Even the word brings on a sweet smile!

This spectacular time of year comes after spring and before fall. Many agree that it’s the best season of all. A time where we can all use a splash of replenishment as the days grow longer and the soul longs for sunshine and the sea.

Traditionally, this special season suspends the 3 R’s of reading writing and arithmetic and sets the stage for 2 R’s that are far more gratifying and satisfying to our mental health, rest, and relaxation.

Have you put much thought into making this summer sizzle? If not, it may be time to turn up the heat and consider the following FUN and affordable activities:

pleasure reading
yoga/pilates/tai chi
visiting a park/ zoo/ museum/ planetarium
building a treehouse
creating/sketching/ drawing/ painting/sidewalk chalk
praying/ meditating
collecting seashells
building a sand castle
writing/ sharing your story
playing board games
playing cards
playing hopscotch
playing sports
serving others
floating/ splashing in the sea
cycling/skating/roller blading
caking an ice cream sundae

Can you think of ten additions to begin your Summer Bucket List?
FUN things to do that lift your spirits and make your eyes sparkle!
If so, add them to create your unique summer bucket list! Check off as you complete and add other activists as you discover all of the pleasures of summer.
Let’s make the most of this awesome season!
Summer… I’m loving it!!

written by: Ria Ruane, MA, RMHCI art work by: Alexa Ruane

Strategize for Success

We have all had times where our best plans get thrown off course. Things outside of our control – pandemics, inflation, layoffs, you name it – change our outlook from one moment to the next. It can be overwhelming and even disheartening when new hurdles make our dreams seem that much farther away. But when life presents setbacks and challenges multiply, it becomes more important than ever to strategize for success – in health, in relationships, in work, and in life.

Strategizing for success is more than repeating positive affirmations while waiting for a storm to pass. It is a decision we make to acknowledge the storm and plan a way through it. We do it when we sort things out in a journal before bed, examine our problems in therapy sessions, and find shared aspirations in conversations with those close to us. Moments like these are opportunities to step outside of our daily cycles and obtain a broader perspective on where we’ve been, where we’re at, and where we’re going.

Strategizing takes focus, concentration, and brutal honesty. Often it requires that we willingly confront the things troubling us most. Taking stock of where we’re at, courageously envisioning where we desire to be, and charting a course to get there is how we renew our motivation to forge ahead when things get rough. Also, it has been said that a person traveling alone will go fast, but people travelling together will go far. Strategizing for success can solidify plans for personal wellbeing, but it is even more powerful when we include the wellbeing of those around us.

Success is an experience, not a material possession. It is a journey, not a destination. It is an inner change that we pursue in hopes of improving the outer world. It is not about getting one up on someone else. It is about becoming more today than we were yesterday. Whether we are pursuing better health through exercise and food choice, better mental health through therapy and self-care, better relationships through communication and action, or better contributions to the world through skill learning and meaningful work, success comes when we recognize how our intentions and efforts can lead to growth we never imagined possible.

What does success look like in the coming day, week, or year? How can the inevitable challenges ahead be overcome? How can we work alongside others to achieve success beyond ourselves? These are questions that require us to set aside our social media, our news, our work, and our duties for just a moment as we grab a pen and paper, enter a therapy session, or sit down with a close friend, and strategize for success.

Written by Louis Nicholas, Graduate Student in Mental Health Counseling

The Future Isn’t Real and Neither Are Your Problems

“I am an old man now, I have known a great many troubles. Most of them never happened.” – Mark Twain


The concept of the future can seem like an inevitable, inescapable idea. The future is always coming, and if a problem appears in the future, it can feel like an encroaching threat that you just can’t get out of the way of. This is where anxiety enters. 500 years ago if I was anxious about catching enough fish to feed my family, I would receive a physiological response from my body to give me anxiety and stress. This would provide me with enough (albeit unpleasant) motivation to continue fishing the extra 1-2 hours in order to get what I need. If I stress about making a fire that lasts for the whole night and doesn’t get out of control and swallow me in my sleep, I will experience stress and anxiety as a motivation to make absolute sure that I place rocks around the fire to keep it contained, and give it plenty of wood to keep it burning as long as I need it to. This is where stress and anxiety make sense. They give immediate signals to the body that something needs to be accomplished right now. 


Where things get warped and miscommunicated is when you observe a human being in the 21st century experiencing anxiety about office politics and a manager or boss that they just don’t get along with. When you focus on this problem, your body still gives you the same outdated physiological response that kept your ancestors alive. Something is wrong! Here are motivational chemicals to solve this problem right now. The problem here is that the anxiety serves no purpose. The problem cannot be solved. It is out of this person’s control, and yet his brain is still flooding his body with the stress chemicals to solve it right now. This person will then feel the effects of anxiety where they begin to dread the future and curse the present out of frustration for not being able to solve this problem. 


The stoics tell us “do not suffer imagined pain”. This statement can tell you two things about the world. Firstly, that the stoics do not recognize the future is a real and tangible idea. In reality, the future actually does not exist. All that exists is the present. The future exists only in the mind of humans as an estimation for what we think may happen at some point. But it is important to remember and maintain that none of it is actually real. The second is that the brain is actually quite bad at differentiating time. It’s why we are able to remember things that happened years prior and still feel the pain of the situation, or likewise if we imagine something stressful in the future, we feel the anxiousness of the situation. This is what the stoics mean when they tell you not to imagine your pain. The pain is in the future, an imaginary place. Seneca also tells us “we suffer more in imagination than reality”. 


So all of that sounds excellent in practice, but how exactly are we supposed to tell ourselves this information when our brains are in full panic mode about the rent due in 2 weeks? The answer is to practice another core tenant of stoic philosophy. Stoicism focuses very heavily on the idea of control. What is under your control is your responsibility. What is NOT under your control is not your responsibility. The more time you spend pondering this concept, the more you will come to realize that the only thing that is absolutely, positively, without a doubt under your total control is your mind, and to some extent your body. Everything else is not. And so, knowing this information we can now come to see the world from the lens of things you can control contrasted to the things you cannot. You cannot control outside factors, you cannot control how people treat you, and you most certainly cannot control the outcome of events. What you can absolutely control is how you react to each of these situations. How you conduct yourself. According to the stoics, this is the only thing you should ever concern yourself with. 


So our short answer we arrive at is quite simple: if you cannot control it, refuse responsibility for it. Is there a problem happening on Thursday? Today is Monday. I cannot control this problem, at the moment it is not my responsibility. I’m off the hook. What you should absolutely not do is suffer the problems of Thursday on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and then finally Thursday. Remind yourself, the future isn’t real and neither are my problems. 

By: Bryce Miller, M.S.,Ed.S.