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Cooking as a Grounding Practice for Mental Health

 

“Our bodies are our gardens; our wills are our gardeners.” – William Shakespeare.

When anxiety, stress, or emotional overwhelm take hold, the mind often drifts into the past or races toward the future. Grounding practices help bring attention back to the present moment—and cooking can be one of the most natural and effective ways to do this. Because of
my background as a classically trained chef and extensive knowledge of nutrition with 15 years as a healthcare professional as a Director of Food Services, I believe cooking is a powerful tool for mental well-being that reduces stress, provides focus, boosts self-esteem, nurtures self-care, and strengthens connections.

Cooking engages the senses in a way that gently anchors the body and mind. The sound of a knife on a cutting board, the warmth of the stove, the scent of herbs or garlic, and the visual rhythm of ingredients coming together all pull attention into the here and now. Unlike some
traditional mindfulness practices, cooking does not require stillness or silence. It allows the mind to settle through movement and purpose.

For individuals living with anxiety, chronic stress, burnout, or low mood, this sensory engagement can help calm the nervous system and interrupt cycles of rumination. Step-by-step tasks provide structure without pressure, while repetition—stirring, chopping, simmering—creates a steady rhythm that can feel regulating and reassuring.

Cooking also restores a sense of agency. In moments when life feels chaotic or out of control, preparing even a simple meal reinforces the experience of choice and capability. There is a beginning, a middle, and an end. Something nourishing is created. That matters.

Importantly, grounding through cooking is not about perfection, productivity, or elaborate recipes. A pot of soup, scrambled eggs, or cutting fruit slowly and intentionally can be enough. The goal is presence, not performance.

When approached with curiosity and gentleness, the kitchen becomes more than a place to prepare food—it becomes a space to reconnect with the body, slow the mind, and find brief moments of steadiness amid daily life.

Healing Through Cooking: How the Kitchen Can Support Mental Health

When we think about mental health support, we often imagine therapy offices, coping skills worksheets, or meditation apps. But healing doesn’t always happen on a couch or in silence. Sometimes, it happens at the kitchen counter—hands busy, senses engaged, and something
nourishing slowly coming together.

Cooking can be far more than a task or chore. When approached with intention, it can become a powerful tool for emotional regulation, grounding, connection, and self-care.

Cooking as a Grounding Practice
Mental health challenges often pull us into the past (regret, grief) or the future (anxiety, fear).
Cooking gently brings us back into the present moment.
 The rhythm of chopping
 The sound of a simmer
 The smell of garlic hitting warm oil
 The visual satisfaction of ingredients coming together
These sensory experiences activate the nervous system in a way that promotes calm and focus. For many people, cooking functions much like mindfulness—without needing to sit still or “clear your mind.”

Fully immersed cooking can lead to a “flow” state where you lose track of time, reducing boredom and stress. The chopping, stirring, and smelling engage your senses, pulling you out of your thoughts and into the “now” which creates a meditative experience.

Rebuilding Agency and Control
Depression, burnout, and trauma often strip people of their sense of control. It provides focus and purpose, building self-esteem and provides a sense of accomplishment. Cooking offers a low- stakes way to reclaim agency:
 You choose the ingredients
 You decide the pace
 You create something with a clear beginning and end
Even simple meals reinforce the message: I can take care of myself in small, meaningful ways.
That matters more than perfection.

Emotional Expression Without Words
Not everyone processes emotions verbally. Cooking provides a nonverbal outlet for expression:
 Comfort foods during grief
 Structured recipes during times of chaos

 Creative experimentation when energy returns
Food often carries memory, culture, and emotion. Preparing a meal can help people reconnect with parts of themselves that feel distant or fragmented.

Connection and Belonging
Cooking can also heal through connection. Sharing food—whether with family, friends, or even just yourself—reinforces belonging.

For some, preparing a meal is an act of love.
For others, it’s a way to reconnect with cultural roots.
For many, it’s one of the few moments in the day that feels human and grounding.

Letting Go of “Perfect”
Healing through cooking is not about gourmet meals or rigid nutrition rules. In fact, perfectionism often works against mental health.
Therapeutic cooking invites:
 Flexibility over precision
 Curiosity over judgment
 Nourishment over control
A frozen meal plated nicely still counts. So does toast, soup, or scrambled eggs on a hard day.

A Gentle Invitation
If you’re struggling, consider this small step:
Choose one simple meal this week and prepare it slowly. No phone. No multitasking. Just you,
the ingredients, and the process.

Notice what happens—not just to the food, but to your body and mind.

Healing doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like dinner.
Bradley J. Carmassi

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Mental Health, and Faith: Bringing It Into the Light

I live with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), also referred to as myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS). I name that openly because silence and misunderstanding have surrounded this illness for too long. CFS is real, complex, and often life-altering. While the physical symptoms are severe, the emotional and psychological impact of living with this condition is equally significant and deserves
honest conversation.

CFS is characterized by persistent, profound fatigue lasting at least six months that is not alleviated by rest, along with unrefreshing sleep, cognitive impairment, and post-exertional malaise (PEM)—a worsening of symptoms following physical or mental exertion (Institute of Medicine [IOM], 2015). PEM is especially disruptive, as it makes daily functioning unpredictable and often forces individuals to live within narrow and constantly shifting limits. Estimates suggest that up to 0.9% of the population may be affected, though underdiagnosis and misdiagnosis remain common (Johnston et al., 2013).

Given these realities, it is not surprising that mental health concerns frequently co-occur with CFS. Research consistently shows elevated rates of depression and anxiety among individuals with CFS compared to the general population (Hvidberg et al., 2015).
Importantly, these findings do not support the notion that CFS is “caused” by mental illness. Rather, studies suggest that psychological distress often develops as a consequence of chronic symptoms, functional loss, social isolation, stigma, and the absence of definitive treatment options (Afari & Buchwald, 2003). In other words, emotional suffering in CFS is better understood as a human response to prolonged illness than as evidence that symptoms are imagined.

As a pastor and counselor, I believe faith invites honesty, not denial. Scripture does not minimize suffering or rush people toward easy explanations. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18, English Standard Version). The nearness of God is often emphasized before answers or relief. Likewise, the apostle Paul names weakness without shame, reminding us that “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV).

Lament, grief, and weariness are not spiritual failures; they are faithful responses to real pain.

Psychotherapy can play an important supportive role for individuals living with CFS. While therapy does not cure the underlying condition, it can help address the emotional burden of chronic illness, including grief, shame, identity disruption, and nervous system dysregulation. Approaches such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and other supportive, non-curative models have been shown to improve
psychological flexibility and quality of life in individuals with chronic health conditions, including CFS (Brooks et al., 2018). Faith, medical care, and mental health support are not competing paths; they are complementary aspects of whole-person care (1 Thessalonians 5:23).

If you are living with CFS, hear this clearly: you are not lazy, broken, or failing. It is appropriate to keep asking questions, to bring concerns and research to your healthcare providers, and to seek counseling as a source of support. While much about CFS remains uncertain, bringing this illness into the light—with truth, compassion, and humility—matters. You are seen. You are heard. And you do not have to walk this road
alone.

By: Pastor Tommy Luster, Graduate Level Counseling Intern

References

Afari, N., & Buchwald, D. (2003). Chronic fatigue syndrome: A review. American Journal of Psychiatry, 160(2), 221–236.
https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.160.2.221

Brooks, S. K., Rimes, K. A., & Chalder, T. (2018). The role of acceptance in chronic fatigue syndrome. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 104, 14–20.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychores.2017.11.005

Hvidberg, M. F., Brinth, L. S., Olesen, A. V., Petersen, K. D., & Ehlers, L. (2015). The health-related quality of life for patients with myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS). PLoS ONE, 10(7), e0132421.
https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0132421

Institute of Medicine. (2015). Beyond myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome: Redefining an illness. National Academies Press.
https://doi.org/10.17226/19012

Johnston, S., Brenu, E. W., Staines, D., & Marshall-Gradisnik, S. (2013). The prevalence of chronic fatigue syndrome/myalgic encephalomyelitis: A meta-analysis. Clinical Epidemiology, 5, 105–110. https://doi.org/10.2147/CLEP.S39876

Recovery Meets Opportunity

Recovery is often misunderstood as simply “getting back to normal.” But in reality, recovery is not a return it’s a turning point.

When you begin to heal whether from addiction, a difficult relationship, or a painful life transition you’re not just leaving something behind. You’re creating space. Space for clarity, growth, and new direction.

That’s where opportunity lives.

In recovery, you start to see yourself differently. You begin making intentional choices instead of reactive ones. You learn how to sit with discomfort instead of avoiding it. And in doing so, you build resilience one decision at a time.

Opportunity doesn’t always look exciting at first. Sometimes it looks like setting boundaries. Saying no. Choosing peace over chaos. Showing up for yourself in ways you never have before.

But those small shifts? They change everything.

You can’t control the wind, but you can adjust your sails. And recovery is exactly that: learning how to move forward with purpose, even when life feels uncertain.

If you’re in a season of recovery, know this you’re not starting over. You’re stepping into something new. And that’s where real opportunity begins.

Written by Jameson DePaola

Exploring the Miracle Question

Do you feel like you are stuck and don’t know where to go or what to do? If so then this may help you out. People when they are stuck are asking a lot of different questions. How did I get here? What do I do now? Where should I go from here? These questions can be useful to
help you get a better understanding of what the problem is or help you understand the scope of the issue that you are facing. For some people that may be enough information to get them back on their feet and moving forward. For others these questions can help them feel stuck because there may not be clear answers to these questions. This is where Solution Focused Therapy’s Miracle Question can help you find the answers you may be looking for. “If you were to wake up tomorrow and the problem you are dealing with is now gone, what would be different?”

The Miracle Question is a technique found in Solution-Focused Therapy that invites a person to imagine their world without the issues that are bothering them. It asked a person to look for the difference between this world and the person’s current reality. Through this
exploration a person can find the things or behaviors that they need to change in order to make that imagined world a reality.

The Miracle Question is a great tool to use to help you find solutions for problems that you are currently facing. This question works well for a wide variety of issues that people face every single day. This can include issues in a relationship, anxiety, stress, issues at work,
depression and much more. So the next time you feel like you are stuck or struggling with an issue try asking yourself the Miracle Question and see where it goes. You can also reach out to a Mental Health Counselor and have them ask you the Miracle Questions. See what solutions you can come up with and see how your life can change when you start asking different questions.

Written by Nicholas Pujol

The Phenomenology of Healing

Healing in psychotherapy is often described in terms of insight, progress, or symptom reduction—but that language barely captures the lived experience of it. From a phenomenological perspective, healing is not just something we understand cognitively; it is something we feel, often suddenly and unmistakably, in the body.

There are moments in therapy when something clicks—what we casually call an “aha moment.” But in truth, these moments are rarely just intellectual realizations. They are shifts in perception that ripple through the entire organism. A client might arrive at a new understanding—“It wasn’t my fault,” or “I’ve been abandoning myself”—and alongside that thought comes a cascade of sensation: a deep exhale, warmth spreading through the chest, tears welling without force. The insight lands not as an abstract idea, but as something embodied, undeniable.

These are the moments when healing becomes experiential rather than conceptual.

Phenomenology invites us to pay attention to how these moments show up in lived experience. Time can feel suspended. The room may seem quieter, even if nothing has changed externally. The therapist’s presence might suddenly feel closer, more real. Clients often describe a sense of “coming home” to themselves—a reintegration of parts that once felt fragmented or exiled.

Importantly, these visceral shifts are not always dramatic. Sometimes healing is subtle:
a softening where there was once tension, the ability to stay present with a difficult emotion for a few seconds longer than before, or the quiet recognition of a need that had long gone unnamed. Even these small shifts carry a bodily quality. They are felt as micro-releases, as increased spaciousness, as a slight but meaningful reorganization of one’s internal world.

What makes these moments so powerful is that they bypass mere intellectualization. Many clients come into therapy already knowing, on some level, why they feel the way they do. But knowing is not the same as experiencing differently. Healing occurs when insight is integrated into the body—when the nervous system begins to register safety where there was once threat, or worth where there was once shame.

In this way, psychotherapy becomes less about “fixing” and more about facilitating conditions where these moments can emerge. The therapist offers attunement, presence, and curiosity, creating a relational space where the client can safely encounter themselves. Within that space, something organic unfolds. Healing is not imposed; it arises.

And when it does, it is often unmistakable.

Clients may leave a session saying, “Something shifted,” even if they can’t fully articulate what. But they feel it—in their breath, in their posture, in the way they move through the world afterward. These are the moments that accumulate over time, gradually reshaping
identity and experience.

Phenomenologically, healing is not a single breakthrough but a series of lived moments—some big, some small—where the self is  encountered differently. It is in these moments, felt deeply and viscerally, that therapy becomes transformative.

Written by Sophie Gengler

Systemic Couples Therapy for Family Planning 

Systemic therapy is a type of psychotherapy that emphasizes a person’s relationships and broader social environment, rather than focusing only on their internal, individual concerns. 

Starting a new family is often accompanied by significant anxiety, stress, and expectations, which may not be equally shared or understood within a couple. Differences in personal histories, values, and assumptions about parenting can surface during this transitional period. Engaging in couples therapy prior to bringing a child into the family can provide a structured space to explore and align these perspectives.

Reasons to consider couples therapy before parenthood include:

  • Addressing existing relational dynamics: Identifying and working through unresolved conflicts or patterns that may be amplified by the demands of parenting.
  • Clarifying roles and responsibilities: Developing a shared understanding of caregiving, household labor, and professional commitments to reduce ambiguity and resentment.
  • Exploring individual anxieties: Processing personal fears or concerns related to pregnancy, childbirth, identity shifts, or parenting competence.
  • Assessing social support systems: Evaluating available familial, community, and institutional supports, and establishing realistic expectations about external assistance.
  • Clarifying core parenting values: Discussing fundamental beliefs and priorities, such as approaches to discipline, education, religion, cultural identity, and responses to diverse gender and sexual identities.
  • Considering financial preparedness: Openly reviewing financial expectations, budgeting, parental leave, and long-term planning to promote stability and shared accountability.
  • Discussing schedules and sleep arrangements: Developing realistic plans for nighttime care, division of responsibilities, and daily routines in anticipation of disrupted sleep patterns.
  • Planning for periods of exhaustion: Identifying strategies for mutual support, conflict prevention, and self-regulation during times of significant fatigue and stress.

Proactively engaging in these conversations can strengthen relational resilience and foster a collaborative foundation for the transition to parenthood.

Written by Justine Bumpers

When Emotions Feel Too Big to Hold

Support resources for teens who are struggling with mental health, stress, and overwhelming emotions. Many teens struggle with overwhelming emotions, stress, or pain that can be hard to explain. If you’re feeling stuck, confused, or hurting inside, you’re not alone. Help is available. This blog is a safe, judgment-free space to share information, coping skills, and support for teens who are dealing with complicated feelings or urges to hurt themselves. Our goal is not to shame or scare, but to help you understand what you’re feeling, learn healthier ways to cope, and find support when you need it.

Healing is possible, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.

Understanding When You Need Support

Understanding when to seek support can be tricky. Self-harm can be visible or invisible to family and friends, and it may not be easy to know when your intense emotions have become concerning. It is natural to experience negative emotions like anger, sadness, irritation, fear,
distance, loneliness, etc., so how do you know when to seek help? You should seek help if:

 Having a strong desire to relieve intense emotions.
o Do you feel so overwhelmed by your emotions that you feel like you cannot escape?

 Difficulties communicating distress
o Can you communicate how you feel when you experience intense emotions?

 Needing to punish yourself and/or are experiencing self-blame
o Do you think “it’s your fault” that you are experiencing these intense emotions, or is the situation causing these emotions?

 Needing to regain control
o Do you feel as though you have no control over your life and need to feel in control?

Common Reasons Teens Seek Mental Health Help
Teens experiencing stressful life events, traumatic or abusive experiences, difficulties in relationships, and problems at home and/or school.

 Retaliation against real or perceived wrongs

 Relief or escape from unbearable pain

 To distract the family from another issue

 Intense pressure to succeed

 Humiliating experiences

 Pregnancy

 Break-up with peers

 Bullying

Tips
Healthy Coping Skills and Emotional Support Options
 Having a safe adult to talk to
o School guidance counselor, parents, preacher, mentor, etc.

 Identifying triggers to intense emotions

 Find stress reduction activities (yoga, listening to music, walking, hiking, gym, etc)

 Using grounding techniques (Deep breathing (5-4-3-2-1 technique)

What to Do in a Crisis or Emergency
In case of an emergency crisis, call your local emergency number and/or 988 suicide and crisis hotline.
 Create a safety plan
 Know when to get help
 Use coping skills
 Reach out to social support
 Seek help from professionals

Overall, having a safe adult to talk to about life problems, being able to identify triggers, and
strengthening problem-solving, interpersonal, and emotion-management skills help you navigate
self-harm. Remember, self-harm is not a way of “attention-seeking” but a cry for help. With the
right tools, you, too, can overcome self-harm.

If you or anyone you know is experiencing self-harm, feel free to reach out for a free
consultation. Work phone: (239) 565-6921| Cellphone: (448) 242-4266| Email:
info@butterflyhavencounselingandwellness.com

What to Expect on your First Therapy Session

For some people the idea of going to therapy and talking to a therapist can be quite the daunting and uncomfortable proposition. The idea of paying a stranger to sit with you and talk about some of the most vulnerable, embarrassing or traumatic parts of your life can be scary or
challenging. Even for me, as a therapist, meeting with a therapist for the first time can be quite the nerve wracking experience. Sometimes the neutrality and objectivity of talking to someone you don’t know can help you move forward and make the changes you want in your life. Here I plan to tell you what you should expect from your first therapy session.

The first thing that you want to keep in mind when it comes to the first session is that you do not have to say everything about you or everything you have experienced in this session. Feel free to take things slow and to share only what you feel comfortable sharing. In a therapist’s mind this is only the start of your therapy journey so feel free to start with what you are comfortable talking about and building a relationship with your therapist. The therapist wants to build a relationship of trust with you in order to make having those difficult conversations easier. Also feel free to ask questions to your therapist about your concerns about the therapy or the journey that you are about to embark on. Remember the therapist wants to get to know you better and he/she will use various different methods to do that. Some of these can be through assessments, surveys or forms that he/she may have you complete prior to the first session. One of the most important things is that you are in control of what is discussed during this session so make the session about what you want to talk about.

First sessions with a therapist can be terrifying to some people and that is totally fine and normal. I hope this has helped ease some of your fears or concerns about the first session. If you still have questions, concerns or feel ready to take the next step and schedule your first session
then feel free to reach out!

Written by Nicholas Pujol, Registered Mental Health Intern #27522

The Nicer Technique

Over the past month, I have been on a self-discovery journey, working to heal the inner parts of me, just as my clients do when they come to see me. During this journey, as I am going to my own therapy session, I have taken up reading some self-help books. The one that I have had
the biggest breakthroughs with is “Are you mad at me” by Meg Josephson. She speaks about pleasing people and trauma responses. I would highly recommend reading it. However, during this reading session, she spoke about a technique she works on with her clients and herself,
which I then tried myself: NICER. This acronym stands for:

N-Notice
I-Invite
C-Curious
E-Embrace
R-Return

The first is Notice, so notice the feeling that is coming up for you, whether it is fear, embarrassment, or loneliness. Then invite that feeling to stay for a little bit rather than running away or distracting yourself from it. Next, slightly ask the question “where do you come from?”
Be curious about this feeling. Second to last is to embrace it. “I see you fear, and that is okay”. This fear has protected me, but I no longer need it. Lastly is to return. Return to where you are by doing some grounding or coping strategies. Deep breaths or sense exercises. This technique allows you to learn more about where these feelings come from and accept them as part of you for right now. These feelings served as a warning or a protection and are there for a reason. So by pushing them down or running from them makes the thoughts and feelings louder. Talking to them and calming yourself down can help you begin to embrace those parts of yourself.

Written Tiya Delson, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

The Healer Needs Healing Too: Self-Care for Mental Health Professionals

As mental health professionals, we dedicate ourselves to holding space for others offering safety, empathy, and stability in moments of crisis and vulnerability. But in doing this essential work, we often overlook one simple truth: healers need healing too. Self-care isn’t indulgence. It is a necessary, ethical component of our practice. In fact, the American Counseling Association (ACA) states that counselors have an obligation to engage in self-care practices to maintain their effectiveness and avoid impairment (ACA, 2014). Let’s explore how to prioritize our own mental well-being while continuing to support others.

1. Acknowledge Your Humanity
It may seem obvious, but it’s essential: mental health professionals are human. We experience grief, exhaustion, joy, and confusion just like our clients. Emotional labor takes a toll over time, especially in trauma-exposed environments (Figley, 2002). Giving ourselves permission to feel and to tend to our emotional needs fosters longevity in the field.

Tip: Reflective journaling, supervision, and debriefing with peers can help mitigate the impact of vicarious trauma.

2. Set Boundaries That Protect You
The ability to model healthy boundaries begins with maintaining our own. Chronic overextension, responding to messages after hours, or skipping breaks can lead to compassion fatigue and burnout (Maslach & Leiter, 2016). Clear boundaries are not barriers they are bridges
to healthier, more sustainable helping relationships.

Tip: Designate work hours and personal hours and honor them consistently.

3. Embrace Rest and Joy Without Guilt
We often delay rest under the illusion that we must “earn” it. But rest is not a reward; it is essential. Engaging in activities unrelated to our work promotes resilience and helps prevent emotional exhaustion (Skovholt & Trotter-Mathison, 2016). Joy is not just a luxury it’s
protective.

Tip: Schedule time for joy: dancing, painting, resting, gardening, or anything that brings life back into your body.

4. Utilize Your Own Support System
Seeking supervision or therapy is not a sign of weakness it’s a sign of insight. The National Association of Social Workers (NASW, 2017) encourages professionals to seek support when personal problems interfere with professional functioning. Regular check-ins with a therapist,
coach, or supervisor reinforce our ethical commitment to client care and our own wellness.

Tip: Normalize therapy for the therapist. Your clients benefit when you are supported too.

5. Engage in Regular Self-Check-Ins
Burnout rarely arrives all at once it builds quietly. Routine self-check-ins can help you track emotional well-being and intervene early. Are you feeling hopeful? Are you dreading sessions? Are you experiencing emotional numbness? These signs matter and deserve attention.

Tip: Use a simple weekly “check-in scale” (1–10) to track how fulfilled, energized, and supported you feel in your work.

Final Thoughts: You Matter Too
Mental health professionals are change agents, emotional caregivers, and resilience-builders. But we cannot pour from an empty cup. The work we do is important—but so is our well-being. Self-care is not optional. It is a professional responsibility and a personal right.
You are worthy of the same care and compassion you offer others.

Written by Sherline Herard, MH24002 Licensed Mental Health Counselor

References
American Counseling Association. (2014). ACA Code of Ethics.
https://www.counseling.org/resources/aca-code-of-ethics.pdf

Figley, C. R. (2002). Compassion fatigue: Psychotherapists’ chronic lack of self-care.
Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58(11), 1433–1441. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.10090

Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Burnout. In G. Fink (Ed.), Stress: Concepts,
Cognition, Emotion, and Behavior (pp. 351–357). Academic Press.

National Association of Social Workers. (2017). NASW Code of Ethics.
https://www.socialworkers.org/About/Ethics/Code-of-Ethics/Code-of-Ethics-English

Skovholt, T. M., & Trotter-Mathison, M. (2016). The resilient practitioner: Burnout
prevention and self-care strategies for counselors, therapists, teachers, and health
professionals (3rd ed.). Routledge.