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Unlocking Deep Change

How Working with Your Subconscious Mind Can Transform Your Therapy Journey

When it comes to achieving lasting change in therapy, working on a subconscious level is essential. Our subconscious mind is where deeply rooted beliefs, memories, and patterns reside, often influencing our thoughts, emotions, and actions without us even realizing it. While the conscious mind is responsible for logical reasoning and decision-making, the subconscious mind is like a powerful filing system, storing all our past experiences, fears, and core beliefs. Often, these stored beliefs are the very things that hold us back from reaching our goals.

Imagine setting a conscious goal to build self-confidence, but somewhere in your subconscious lies a belief, perhaps from childhood, that you’re “not good enough.” No matter how hard you work on building confidence consciously, this underlying belief may sabotage your progress, leading you back to self-doubt. By working directly with the subconscious, we can identify and reframe these limiting beliefs, allowing you to align your entire mindset with your goals.

Therapies like Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) make use of a relaxed, alpha brainwave state to help clients access their subconscious mind. In this state, we can revisit and process experiences that shaped current self-beliefs, seeing them through the wiser lens of adulthood. Updating these beliefs is like decluttering a storage room, creating space for new, empowering perspectives that support your goals.

Working on a subconscious level not only removes mental barriers but also speeds up the therapeutic process. It allows for deep, foundational shifts that reach far beyond surface-level thinking. When subconscious beliefs are in harmony with conscious goals, your path to growth becomes clearer, allowing you to experience greater resilience, self-trust, and authentic change. Embracing this level of inner work means you’re not just reaching your goals—you’re transforming from within, creating a foundation for lasting success and well-being.

Ready to break free from old patterns and unlock true, lasting change? Book a session today and let’s work together to align your subconscious mind with your goals for a more empowered future.

Written by Kellie Hatch, Registered Mental Health Intern #26644

 

Navigating the Holiday Blues: Finding Light in the Season of Shadows

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. However, for many individuals, it can also be a  challenging period marked by the holiday blues. These feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anxiety during the festive season are more common than one might think. In this blog post, we’ll explore the reasons behind the holiday blues and offer practical tips for navigating
this emotionally complex time.

Understanding the Holiday Blues:
1. Social Expectations: The holiday season comes with societal expectations of happiness and togetherness. This pressure to be festive and cheerful can be overwhelming, especially for those who may be dealing with personal challenges or losses.

2. Comparisons and Reflections: The holidays often prompt reflection on the past year, which can lead to comparisons and a sense of unmet expectations. Individuals may find themselves assessing their achievements, relationships, and life choices, potentially triggering feelings of
inadequacy or regret.

3. Loneliness: Not everyone has a robust support system or close-knit family to spend the holidays with. For those who are alone or have strained relationships, the season can amplify feelings of isolation and loneliness.

4. Financial Strain: The financial burden of gift-giving, travel, and hosting can contribute to stress and anxiety. The pressure to meet material expectations can be particularly challenging for those facing economic difficulties.

Navigating the Holiday Blues:
1. Acknowledge and Accept: The first step in addressing the holiday blues is acknowledging and accepting your feelings. It’s okay not to feel festive all the time, and recognizing your emotions is an essential part of self-care.

2. Set Realistic Expectations: Manage your expectations and understand that perfection is not the goal. Embrace imperfections and focus on creating meaningful moments rather than adhering to an idealized version of the holidays.

3. Reach Out for Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or support groups. Share your feelings and let others know if  you need company or assistance. Connecting with others can provide comfort and a sense of belonging.

4. Create New Traditions: If traditional holiday activities trigger negative emotions, consider creating new traditions that align with your current circumstances and bring joy. This could include volunteering, starting a new hobby, or taking a solo trip.

5. Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care during the holidays. Take time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or practicing mindfulness.

6. Seek Professional Help: If the holiday blues become overwhelming and persist, consider seeking professional help. Mental health professionals can provide support, coping strategies, and a safe space to explore and address underlying issues.

The holiday blues are a common and valid experience that many individuals navigate each year. By acknowledging these feelings, setting realistic expectations, reaching out for support, and practicing self-care, it’s possible to find light in the midst of the seasonal shadows. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and prioritizing your well-being is key to making it through the holiday season with
resilience and grace.

Written by Sherline Herard, MH24002, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

3 Habits Impacting Your Mental Health

Oftentimes, when we think about what could harm our mental health, our minds go to major life events—the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or the death of a loved one. But small habits that often go unnoticed can also play a major role. Below are three common habits that could be negatively affecting your mental health:

1. Not Getting Enough Sleep
Sleep impacts your mental health in numerous ways—it can affect your cognitive skills, mood, and behavior. As such, failing to get enough sleep can increase your risk of anxiety and depression and make it more difficult for you to focus, solve problems, make decisions, remember things, and control your emotions and impulses. Try sticking to the same sleep schedule, keeping your bedroom cool and dark, and performing a relaxing activity before bed (e.g., taking a warm bath or reading).

2. Being Inactive
In today’s busy world, it can be difficult to find time to exercise, but it’s important to stay active. Not only can exercise improve your physical health, but it can also boost your mental health. In fact, studies have shown that regularly exercising could reduce your risk of depression.

3. Scrolling Through Social Media
Social media can be beneficial—it can help you stay connected to long-distance family and friends and keep up with current events—but research suggests that spending too much time on it can lead to anxiety and depression. To reduce your screen time, try setting a timer, turning off notifications, or deleting apps from your phone.

Start Improving Your Mental Health
In addition to breaking the negative habits described above, one of the best things you can do to boost your mental health is speak to a therapist. Fortunately, you can entrust your care to the skilled team at our practice. Once we’ve learned more about you and any issues you may be experiencing, we’ll be able to provide you with customized advice for how to eliminate negative habits from your life and start implementing more positive ones. Contact us today to schedule your first appointment.

Written by Sherline Herard, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

My PhD Journey

Recently I embarked on a new journey in my PhD program. My qualitative course is one of the first three and the most challenging. This course has led to a lot of soul searching on the best way to present my research question. I decided that it may be best if I research a specific
group. I have chosen to narrow my research down to black married men. My question is currently still under construction. I want it to be a meaningful statement that articulates how the overarching theme of the study. I also do not want to lead participants to the conclusion that I am trying to make. Therefore, a vaguer description might be beneficial. My thought was “What are the communication barriers that black males face in marriage?”. I have been gauging the interest of men that I know, who are married and find communication in their relationship difficult.

So far, I have received a lot of inquiry on this topic and the idea of diving deeper into a man’s vulnerability with his wife. Specifically black men, who in my experience must consistently portray a strength. This is a very taxing façade to project at all times. An assumption of marriage is that both individuals are comfortable to show their true and authentic self. If this statement was an absolute, my assumption is that men would express more than just anger in their relationship. I tend to believe that men test the boundaries of how open they can be with their spouse. When their vulnerability is rejected through a critical reaction, disappointment, or lack of comfortability by their spouse; men tend to shut down.

As a boy growing up, I was taught that my emotions were not acceptable. This resulted in behaviors that caused more damage for my mental health. Because I did not feel safe expressing myself, I found it hard to be vulnerable with others. I also found myself in unhealthy coping mechanisms and hiding behaviors that were not seen as “good”. I longed for people that I could unpack the turmoil that I felt inside. I thought that in marriage I would find this safe space. What I found was my hiding of my true emotions gave my wife an unrealistic expectation of me as a man. I was always “strong and stoic” in our dating phase of the relationship. For 5 years before marriage my wife thought that nothing phased me. She later realized I was a ball of emotions. In the beginning of or marriage she did not know how to react to what I was saying. This led to me feeling alone and misunderstood within my own house, almost as if I was a teenager all over again. Though this sounds dramatic, it is natural for us as humans to relate our current reality to past situations. These trips back to spaces of emotional scarcity can limit our ability to be present in the moment, and while this sounds like a riveting crisis. It would be highly unproductive for
your mental health if I just left you with a problem and no way to work towards a different result.

If you find yourself in a place where you do not feel like you have the permission to be vulnerable in relationships; I believe it starts by creating a space for yourself. We have all heard the saying that you cannot give others what you do not give yourself. It is also very true that you cannot ask from others what you first ask from for yourself. If I do not think my voice matters, someone else saying it does will not validate the insecurity inside of me. As men, we must give our inner child the freedom to feel every emotion, no matter how uncomfortable. As we begin to accept, we are more than anger and excitement, we will be able to ask others accept that as well.

Written by Tim Nelson, Registered Mental Health Intern #25977

Understanding Good Mental Health: A Holistic Perspective

As I embarked on my journey as a Student Mental Health Intern, I immersed myself in various theories, techniques, and research to enhance clients’ mental well-being. While these tools are valuable, a fundamental question persisted: “What does good mental health truly entail?”

Human experiences are diverse, yet we often find common ground in our pursuit of purpose and fulfillment—whether through a thriving career, nurturing a family, or simply leading a meaningful life. The essence of mental health becomes clearer when we acknowledge that our search for purpose invariably involves navigating mistakes and overcoming challenges. By confronting these obstacles, we learn about ourselves and our capacity to achieve our goals.

The essence of good mental health transcends external achievements; it lies in addressing and nurturing our internal struggles. Common advice to “just do what makes you happy” or “do what you think is best for yourself,” I would argue, can inadvertently foster isolation if not acknowledged with a broader perspective. Focusing solely on personal happiness might seem appealing and, in some cases, be what’s best. It may also lead to a solitary existence if it means being too comfortable and becoming stagnant.

In my view, our purpose extends beyond individual satisfaction; it involves fostering meaningful connections and communities. These relationships, forged through shared experiences and proximity, often evolve into deeper bonds that teach us about sacrifice and selflessness. By prioritizing the well-being of others, we cultivate discipline—a crucial element in forming positive habits. Though these habits may seem basic, they contribute significantly to overall mental health, such as maintaining a balanced diet or exercising regularly.

In a world with conflicting opinions and materialistic promises from media and celebrities, it’s easy to be misled about what constitutes genuine mental well-being. The notion that acquiring possessions or achieving a certain appearance will resolve our issues is a common but flawed narrative.

I would make the case that true mental health is characterized by the ability to embrace life’s joys and challenges with resilience. It involves having a supportive community to rely on in times of need and fostering a mindset that values living well not only for personal gain but also for the positive impact on others.

In essence, good mental health is a balanced state of being that integrates personal resilience, supportive relationships, and a sense of purpose that extends beyond oneself.

Written by Juan Cubillos, Graduate Student in Clinical Mental Health

6 Secrets to Fast-Track Change

Change is inevitable; it’s one of the few constants in life. Yet, despite its inevitability, embracing change can be remarkably challenging for many of us. From personal habits to societal norms, the resistance to change often runs deep within us. But why is change so hard?

The Comfort Zone Conundrum speed

At the heart of the struggle with change lies the comfort zone – that cozy, familiar space where everything feels safe and predictable. Stepping out of this zone, even for positive changes, can evoke feelings of uncertainty, fear, and vulnerability. Our brains are wired to seek safety and minimize risk, making any deviation from the norm feel like a threat to our well-being.

The Fear of the Unknown

Change often brings with it an element of uncertainty. Whether it’s starting a new job, moving to a different city, or altering a long-standing routine, the unknown can trigger anxiety and doubt. Our minds gravitate towards what’s familiar because it feels safer than venturing into uncharted territory. Fear of failure, rejection, or simply not knowing what to expect can paralyze us and prevent us from embracing change wholeheartedly.

Habitual Patterns Die Hard

Human beings are creatures of habit. We thrive on routine and predictability because it provides a sense of stability in an otherwise chaotic world. However, this reliance on habit can make breaking free from old patterns incredibly challenging. Whether it’s quitting smoking, adopting a healthier lifestyle, or changing ingrained thought patterns, our brains resist change because it disrupts the familiar neural pathways we’ve spent years reinforcing.

Social Pressures and Expectations

Beyond individual resistance, societal norms and expectations also play a significant role in why change is hard. We are often influenced by the opinions and judgments of others, which can make deviating from the status quo feel daunting. Whether it’s conforming to cultural standards, peer pressure, or family dynamics, the fear of social rejection or criticism can hinder our willingness to embrace change.

Overcoming the Resistance: Strategies for Success

While change may be hard, it’s not impossible. Here are some strategies to help navigate the challenges of change:

1. Acknowledge and Accept: Recognize that change is a natural part of life and that discomfort is to be expected. Accepting this reality can help ease the resistance.

2. Set Clear Goals: Define what you want to achieve through the change and break it down into manageable steps. Having a clear vision can provide motivation and direction.

3. Build a Support System: Surround yourself with people who support and encourage your efforts towards change. Whether it’s friends, family, or a professional network, having a support system can provide invaluable guidance and encouragement.

4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself throughout the change process. Understand that setbacks are inevitable and view them as opportunities for growth rather than reasons for self-criticism.

5. Stay Flexible: Remain open to adjusting your approach as needed. Change is rarely linear, and being adaptable can help navigate unexpected challenges along the way.

6. Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate each milestone, no matter how small. Recognizing your achievements can boost confidence and momentum toward further change.

In conclusion, while change may be accompanied by discomfort and uncertainty, it also holds the potential for growth, discovery, and transformation. By understanding the reasons behind our resistance to change and implementing strategies to navigate it effectively, we can embrace change as an opportunity for positive growth and fulfillment in our lives. Are you ready for change?

Book a session now with Cape Coral Therapists and start your journey.

Written by Kellie Hatch, Mental Health Graduate Student

 

 

How Play Therapy Helps Children Conquer Anxiety

Working with children and guiding them through their challenges is a passion of mine over the last 15 years. Play therapy offers a holistic approach to addressing childhood anxiety, allowing children to express themselves authentically while developing essential coping skills. As a marriage and family therapist intern, incorporating play therapy techniques into my practice can make a profound difference in the lives of anxious children and their families. By fostering a therapeutic environment grounded in empathy, acceptance, and creativity, we can empower children to overcome their anxiety and thrive emotionally.

Play therapy operates on the principle that play is the language of children. Through toys, art materials, and other expressive mediums, children can communicate their inner world, fears, and anxieties in a non-threatening manner. Play therapy sessions are guided by the therapist, who observes, reflects, and empathizes with the child’s play, providing a supportive presence throughout the process.
In the context of anxiety, play therapy offers children opportunities to confront their fears, develop coping strategies, and build resilience. Whether it’s engaging in imaginative play, creating stories, or using puppets to act out scenarios, children can gain insights into their emotions and learn effective ways to manage anxiety.

Thank you for joining us on this journey through the world of play therapy.

Written by Danielle Fous, Mental Health Graduate Student

The Path to Self-Discovery: Carl Jung’s Concept of Individuation

Why should I care about a psychologist that died in 1961? Well, he just may help you on your therapy journey to greater understanding and creating a life you love.

In the realm of psychology, few names evoke as much intrigue and fascination as Carl Gustav Jung. Renowned for his pioneering work in analytical psychology, Jung delved into the depths of the human psyche, unraveling intricate layers of the unconscious mind. Among his many contributions, one concept stands out prominently: individuation.

Individuation, as proposed by Jung, is not merely a psychological process but a profound journey towards self-discovery and fulfillment. It encompasses the integration of the conscious and unconscious aspects of the psyche, leading to the realization of one’s true self and unique potential. In essence, it is a quest for wholeness and authenticity.

At the core of Jung’s theory of individuation lies the concept of the collective unconscious—a reservoir of universal symbols, archetypes, and primordial images shared by all humanity. According to Jung, the individuation process involves confronting and assimilating these unconscious contents, thereby transcending the limitations of the ego and connecting with the deeper dimensions of the self.

The process of individuation is not without its challenges. It requires courage, patience, and a willingness to confront the unknown aspects of the self. Jung likened the individuation journey to a descent into the depths of the unconscious—a journey fraught with peril but rich with the promise of transformation and renewal. Along the way, individuals may encounter various psychological obstacles, such as inner conflicts, emotional turmoil, and existential crises. Working through these constellations can be helped with therapy modalities such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Internal Family Systems and Mindfulness. These experiences serve as catalysts for growth and self-
realization, ultimately leading to a deeper sense of meaning and purpose.

Central to Jung’s concept of individuation is the idea of the self—the totality of the psyche, transcending the ego and encompassing both conscious and unconscious aspects. Unlike the ego, which is concerned with individual identity and self-preservation, the self represents a higher, more inclusive level of consciousness—one that is attuned to the collective and cosmic dimensions of existence. Through the
process of individuation, individuals strive to align themselves with the guiding force of the self, thereby fulfilling their innate potential and contributing to the greater good of humanity.

Individuation is not a linear or prescriptive process but rather a highly individualized journey shaped by personal experiences, insights, and aspirations. While Jung provided a framework for understanding and navigating this transformative process, he emphasized the importance of individual autonomy and self-discovery. Each individual must forge their own path towards individuation, drawing upon their unique strengths, values, culture and creative impulses.

In today’s fast-paced and increasingly complex world, the concept of individuation holds profound relevance. In a society that often prizes conformity over authenticity, the journey towards self-discovery and wholeness is more important than ever. By embracing the principles of individuation, individuals can cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness, resilience, and empathy, paving the way for a more meaningful and
fulfilling existence.

By embarking on your therapy journey with a focus on individuation, individuals can connect with the deeper dimensions of the self.

Written by Megan Mckeon, Registered Mental Health Intern #25199

Back-To-School But Make It Stress-Free

As summer winds down, many children are gearing up to head back to school or begin their school journey for the first time. This transition—like any other transitions whether they involve moving, starting a new job, or facing job loss—often bring stress and anxiety to all involved, and heading back to school is no exception. This post provides practical tips and strategies to help ease this transition, aiming to make the back-to-school period more manageable and less stressful for everyone involved.

Prepare
To be productive and successful, it’s crucial to know what needs to be done and when. From waking up on time to meeting work deadlines to picking up the kids from school at their release time, having a clear plan helps to manage everyday tasks more effectively. The same principle applies to new routines, like going to school. Knowing where you need to go and when you need to be there are key to organizing your day efficiently. By preparing in advance, you can reduce stressors such as heavy traffic and extra commuting time.

The unknown or unfamiliar can lead to fear and anxiety for many including children, which can manifest in problem behaviors including tantrums. Ease anxieties about new surroundings by showing videos, pictures, or virtual tours of the school and classroom. Even educational shows or movies about school settings can help. This is what an open house aims to do, however sometimes the open house is full of so much information for the parents that the child does not have adequate time to become familiar with the new classroom, school or teacher and thus taking time to make sure the child is being exposed to what going to school is like, even in a book or story, can serve as a way to make sure that the situation is not so unfamiliar that anxiety and stress arises.

Reach out to teachers, preferably before school starts, to discuss your child’s needs. Building this communication channel early ensures that teachers are aware of any special requirements and can collaborate effectively to support your child and address any special needs for your child.

Discuss any sensory conditions, dietary restrictions, allergies, behavioral strategies, or medications with the school ahead of time. Ensuring that your child’s needs are met will help them feel comfortable and safe.

The importance of routine:
A well-established routine can significantly reduce anxiety and help manage your day more effectively. Children thrive on consistency. In ABA, visual schedules are used to help reduce anxiety and manage transitions by providing a clear outline of daily activities. Visual schedules are also helpful outside of ABA, knowing what to expect and for how long is a great way to relieve anxiety and to promote success.

**How to Create a Visual Schedule: **

1. List Daily Activities: Write down everything that happens from the time your child wakes up until bedtime. Include all activities, such as school, playtime, breaks, and appointments.

2. Organize by Order: Arrange these activities in the order they occur.

3. Use Visuals: Depending on your child’s age, use pictures or printouts to represent each activity. For example, a picture of a backpack can signify “school.”

4. Create the Schedule: Attach these images to a board using Velcro. Place the board where your child can easily see it.

5. Review Together: Go over the schedule with your child to explain each activity. Even if your child is very young or non-verbal, this step is crucial for preparing them.

6. Involve Your Child: Let your child help in creating the schedule. Choosing and cutting out images can make the schedule feel more personal and engaging.

7. Follow Through: As you go through the day, refer to the visual schedule and move completed tasks to the “completed” side. This helps reinforce the routine and provides a sense of accomplishment.

8. Supervise and Support: Actively supervise your child as they follow the schedule. This not only teaches them the importance of routine but also encourages independence as they practice daily tasks.

Reorganizing Your Own Schedule:
Integrating your child’s routine into your own schedule is vital for maintaining balance and peace of mind. By planning activities such as homework, meals, and extracurriculars, you can better manage your time and avoid overbooking. Creating a visual schedule for yourself can also demonstrate the importance of organization to your child and offer a bonding experience.

Practice
Consistency is key to making routines work. By preparing thoroughly, planning with a schedule, and sticking to it, you help minimize stress and ensure that both you and your child are organized. This not only makes the transition back to school smoother but also teaches valuable skills that will benefit your child now and in the future.

By following these steps and establishing a clear routine, you can create a less stressful and more organized start to the school year as well as maintaining functional routines that aid in stress management and success.

Written by Johana Calvo, IMFT, BCaBA

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Empathy’s Mirror

Practicing empathy towards others contributes to self-acceptance and self-love in several ways:

When we empathize with others, we put ourselves in their shoes and try to understand their experiences, emotions, and challenges. This shift in perspective helps us realize that everyone is imperfect and faces their own struggles. Recognizing the humanity and imperfections in others invites us to extend that same understanding and acceptance to ourselves. This perspective shift promotes self-acceptance by reminding us that we are not alone in our experiences and that it’s natural to have flaws and setbacks.

Empathy helps us recognize the common humanity that connects us all. When we empathize with others, we realize that we share similar limitations, concerns, and vulnerabilities with others. This understanding fosters a sense of belonging and reminds us that we are not alone in our thoughts and feelings. This shared reality prods us to develop a greater sense of self-acceptance and self-love, knowing that our experiences are part of the shared human experience.

Offering unconditional positive regard to others, which means accepting and valuing someone without judgment or conditions, is perhaps one of the great examples in this space; we learn to apply the same acceptance and kindness to ourselves. What could we be caring about that keeps us from extending that love to the person in the mirror? Self-acceptance and self-love ask that we embrace ourselves fully, just as we would embrace others.

There is something magical that happens when we empathize with others; we tap into our own capacity for empathy and compassion. The social capital that is self-love takes on new meaning and ownership. This emotional resonance helps us understand and connect with others and deepens our understanding of ourselves. The goal here is to develop a greater sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance. This process allows us to embrace our positive and negative emotions and cultivate self-love by honoring our authentic experiences.

Practicing empathy towards others creates a positive ripple effect in our own lives. When we show understanding, kindness, and compassion to others, we experience a sense of fulfillment and joy. This positive energy then extends to how we perceive and treat ourselves. By nurturing empathy towards others, we cultivate a compassionate and loving mindset that naturally extends to self-acceptance and self-love.

In summary, practicing empathy towards others contributes to self-acceptance and self-love by shifting our perspective, recognizing our common humanity, promoting unconditional positive regard, fostering emotional resonance, and creating a positive ripple effect. By extending empathy to others, we create a foundation of acceptance and compassion that ultimately strengthens our relationship with ourselves. When was the last time you were given the best of YOU? Let’s do this!

Written by Petra Wilkes, Registered Mental Health Intern #IMH25031