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Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself First to Love Others Fully

February 14, 2025 by

Valentine’s Day is HERE! Whether you’re spending it with a special someone, or friends, or flying solo, it’s all good! But how can we make this day a great day? Well, we’ve all heard that classic piece of advice: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Rom 13:9). But here’s the kicker—“as yourself.” It’s hard to give love to others if you’re not showing yourself the same care and kindness first. Our mental health plays a huge role in this, and when we neglect it, we can lose sight of who we are and who we love.

So, as we get ready for the big day, why not check in with yourself? How can you feel truly rested and loved? Maybe it’s enjoying a delicious meal, unwinding in a relaxing bath, or getting lost in a good book at your favorite park. The key is to focus on one thing at a time and be
present in the moment.

If you’re spending the day with someone special, remember that it’s not about how much you spend but the quality of the time you share. As the Bible says, “Love cannot result in any harm to the neighbor” (Rom 13:10). It’s all about selfless giving, trust, and open communication in a relationship—these are the building blocks of the love we all seek.

So… let’s make this a day full of love for yourself and others!

Written by Juan Cubillos, Graduate Student in Clinical Mental Health

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, empower, faith, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, Mental Health, Self-Worth

Navigating Mental Health in Unmargined Populations

December 20, 2024 by

Mental health is a universal concern that transcends societal boundaries, yet certain populations remain unseen, unheard, and unmargined in conversations surrounding mental well-being. In this blog post, we delve into the often-overlooked realm of mental health within unmargined populations, exploring the unique challenges they face and shedding light on the importance of inclusivity in mental health
discourse.

Defining Unmargined Populations:
Unmargined populations encompass individuals and communities that, due to various factors such as cultural background, socioeconomic status, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation, or other marginalized attributes, may face additional barriers to accessing mental health resources and support.

Unique Challenges:
1. Stigma and Cultural Barriers: Unmargined populations often encounter stigma associated with mental health within their own communities. Cultural norms and beliefs may contribute to the perception of mental health issues as a taboo subject, hindering open discussions and the seeking of help.

2. Intersectionality: Many individuals belong to multiple marginalized groups, experiencing what is known as intersectionality. The intersection of different identities can compound the challenges faced, leading to increased vulnerability to mental health issues.

3. Limited Access to Resources: Socioeconomic disparities and systemic inequalities may result in limited access to mental health resources, including therapy, counseling, and psychiatric services. Unmargined populations may face financial constraints or live in areas with fewer
mental health facilities.

4. Microaggressions and Discrimination: Daily encounters with microaggressions, discrimination, and prejudice can take a toll on mental well-being. Individuals from unmargined populations may grapple with the cumulative impact of societal biases on their mental health.

Strategies for Support and Inclusivity:
1. Culturally Competent Mental Health Services: Mental health services must be culturally competent, understanding and respecting diverse cultural backgrounds. This involves training mental health professionals to be aware of and sensitive to the unique needs of different
populations.

2. Community Outreach and Education: Initiatives that promote mental health awareness and education within unmargined communities are crucial. This can involve workshops, support groups, and informational campaigns tailored to address specific cultural contexts.

3. Inclusive Policies and Practices: Governments, institutions, and organizations need to implement policies and practices that are inclusive and considerate of the diverse needs of unmargined populations. This includes workplace accommodations, accessible healthcare, and anti-discrimination measures.

4. Peer Support Networks: Establishing peer support networks within unmargined communities can foster a sense of belonging and understanding. Shared experiences create a supportive environment where individuals feel comfortable discussing mental health without fear of judgment.

5. Advocacy and Amplification: Advocacy efforts are crucial for bringing attention to the mental health challenges faced by unmargined populations. Amplifying the voices of individuals within these communities helps challenge stereotypes and dismantle barriers to mental health support.

Conclusion:
Addressing mental health in unmargined populations requires a multifaceted approach that acknowledges the unique challenges these communities face. By fostering inclusivity, advocating for change, and prioritizing culturally competent care, we can work towards creating a mental health landscape that embraces and supports everyone, regardless of their background or identity. The journey towards mental well-being is a shared one, and it is imperative that no one is left behind.

Written by Sherline Herard, MH24002, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, EMDR Therapy, empower, Family, Men's Issues, Mental Health

Embracing Sexual Well-Being: A Guide to Sexual Mental Health

December 13, 2024 by

Embracing Sexual Well-Being: A Guide to Sexual Mental Health

Sexual health is an integral part of overall well-being, encompassing physical, emotional, mental, and social dimensions. Yet, discussions around sexual and mental health often remain taboo, leaving many individuals without the knowledge and support they need. This blog aims to shed light on the importance of sexual mental health, offering insights and tips for cultivating a healthy and fulfilling sexual life.

Understanding Sexual Mental Health

Sexual mental health refers to a state of well-being in which an individual experiences positive and respectful relationships, has the ability to enjoy and express their sexuality, and feels free from discrimination, coercion, and violence. It involves:

  • Self-Esteem and Body Image: Feeling confident and comfortable in your own body.

  • Communication and Consent: Being able to communicate your needs and boundaries and respecting those of others.

  • Emotional Connection: Building and maintaining healthy emotional connections with partners.

  • Healthy Sexual Function: Experiencing sexual activities that are pleasurable and free from dysfunction or pain.

Common Sexual Mental Health Concerns

1. Performance Anxiety

  • Causes: Fear of not meeting expectations, past negative experiences, and societal pressures.

  • Impact: Can lead to erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or difficulty achieving orgasm.

2. Body Image Issues

  • Causes: Media portrayals of “ideal” bodies, societal standards, and personal insecurities.

  • Impact: Can reduce sexual desire, confidence, and satisfaction.

3. Lack of Desire or Libido

  • Causes: Stress, hormonal imbalances, relationship issues, mental health disorders.

  • Impact: Can affect personal well-being and relationship dynamics.

4. Trauma and PTSD

  • Causes: Past experiences of sexual abuse or assault.

  • Impact: This can lead to anxiety, avoidance of sexual activity, and emotional distress.

5. Relationship Issues

  • Causes: Poor communication, unresolved conflicts, lack of intimacy.

  • Impact: This can create emotional distance and reduce sexual satisfaction.

Tips for Improving Sexual Mental Health

1. Open Communication

  • Practice Honest Conversations: Discuss your desires, boundaries, and concerns with your partner.

  • Seek Understanding: Be willing to listen and empathize with your partner’s perspective.

2. Focus on Self-Esteem and Body Positivity

  • Self-Acceptance: Embrace your body as it is and recognize your unique beauty.

  • Positive Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to boost your self-esteem and body image.

3. Manage Stress and Anxiety

  • Mindfulness and Meditation: Practice mindfulness to stay present and reduce anxiety.

  • Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or yoga into your routine.

4. Seek Professional Help

  • Therapists and Counselors: Consult with a mental health professional specializing in sexual health.

  • Support Groups: Join support groups to connect with others facing similar issues.

5. Educate Yourself

  • Read and Learn: Educate yourself about sexual health and well-being through books, articles, and reputable online resources.

  • Stay Informed: Keep up to date with the latest research and findings in sexual health.

6. Create a Healthy Lifestyle

  • Exercise Regularly: Physical activity can boost mood and improve body image.

  • Balanced Diet: Maintain a healthy diet to support overall well-being.

  • Adequate Sleep: Ensure you get enough rest to manage stress and maintain energy levels.

Resources for Sexual Mental Health

  • Books: “Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoski and “The Guide to Getting It On!” by Paul Joannides are excellent resources for understanding sexual health.

  • Websites: Planned Parenthood and the American Sexual Health Association (ASHA) offer valuable information and resources.

  • Apps: Apps like “MJoy” and “Rosy” provide educational content and tools for enhancing sexual well-being.

Conclusion

Sexual mental health is a vital component of overall health and happiness. By addressing concerns such as performance anxiety, body image issues, and lack of desire, and by fostering open communication, self-esteem, and professional support, you can enhance your sexual well-being. Remember, everyone deserves a healthy and fulfilling sexual life. Embrace your sexuality, educate yourself, and seek the support you need to thrive.

By prioritizing your sexual and mental health, you can build stronger relationships, boost your confidence, and experience greater satisfaction in all areas of your life.

Written by Jennifer Freel, Registered Mental Health Intern IMH26129

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, Depression, empower, Intimacy, kindness, love, Mental Health, Self-Worth, Sexual Health

Unlocking Deep Change

December 6, 2024 by

How Working with Your Subconscious Mind Can Transform Your Therapy Journey

When it comes to achieving lasting change in therapy, working on a subconscious level is essential. Our subconscious mind is where deeply rooted beliefs, memories, and patterns reside, often influencing our thoughts, emotions, and actions without us even realizing it. While the conscious mind is responsible for logical reasoning and decision-making, the subconscious mind is like a powerful filing system, storing all our past experiences, fears, and core beliefs. Often, these stored beliefs are the very things that hold us back from reaching our goals.

Imagine setting a conscious goal to build self-confidence, but somewhere in your subconscious lies a belief, perhaps from childhood, that you’re “not good enough.” No matter how hard you work on building confidence consciously, this underlying belief may sabotage your progress, leading you back to self-doubt. By working directly with the subconscious, we can identify and reframe these limiting beliefs, allowing you to align your entire mindset with your goals.

Therapies like Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) make use of a relaxed, alpha brainwave state to help clients access their subconscious mind. In this state, we can revisit and process experiences that shaped current self-beliefs, seeing them through the wiser lens of adulthood. Updating these beliefs is like decluttering a storage room, creating space for new, empowering perspectives that support your goals.

Working on a subconscious level not only removes mental barriers but also speeds up the therapeutic process. It allows for deep, foundational shifts that reach far beyond surface-level thinking. When subconscious beliefs are in harmony with conscious goals, your path to growth becomes clearer, allowing you to experience greater resilience, self-trust, and authentic change. Embracing this level of inner work means you’re not just reaching your goals—you’re transforming from within, creating a foundation for lasting success and well-being.

Ready to break free from old patterns and unlock true, lasting change? Book a session today and let’s work together to align your subconscious mind with your goals for a more empowered future.

Written by Kellie Hatch, Registered Mental Health Intern #26644

 

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, empower, Inspire, kindness, love, Men's Issues, Mental Health, Self-Worth, Women Empowerment, Women's Issues

Guilt and the World Series

November 29, 2024 by

Another World Series has come and gone. This year having the Los Angeles Dodgers beating the New York Yankees in five games. Two powerhouses of the sport with some of the sport’s biggest stars facing off on one of the world’s biggest stages. What I wish to discuss here is not what happened during the series but what happens for the players after the game.

These coaches and players have prepared all year for this opportunity and they fell short. Many players are feeling the guilt of failing to make certain plays or even failing to perform. Now the question lies, what do these players do now? How do they choose to move forward and turn that experience into a learning experience?

For each of the Yankees players this process will look different. Every person has their own unique way of dealing with guilt and shame. Here are some different things that you can try if you find yourself dealing with guilt and shame. First acknowledge your feelings. It can be quite difficult to deal with something that you can not define or say what it is. So take a moment to look inwards and try to describe what you are feeling. Once you have done this you may find it easier to figure out where to go next. For many of these players they will use these feelings of guilt and shame as motivation to get better. You can do the same. Use these feelings as motivation to learn from this mistake and to challenge yourself to rise above that.

Even after all that you still find it difficult to move past these feelings then I recommend you seek professional help. A licensed Therapist can definitely help you work through these feelings and even help you dig a little deeper. The therapist can help you challenge those thoughts and feelings that are keeping you stuck and help you find a way to move forward. So if you are currently feeling guilt or shame just know that you are not alone and that there is help out there waiting for you to come and get it.

Written by Nicholas Pujol, Mental Health Graduate Student

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, empower, Mental Health, Self-Worth

Healing Minds: Exploring the Power of EMDR Therapy

November 15, 2024 by

 

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy is a psychotherapy approach that is primarily used to help individuals process and resolve traumatic experiences. It was developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s and has since gained recognition as an effective treatment for trauma-related disorders, particularly post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Here are the key elements and principles of EMDR therapy:

1. Bilateral Stimulation:

One of the distinctive features of EMDR therapy is the use of bilateral stimulation, which can involve either side-to-side eye movements, taps or tones (using handheld devices), or other forms of alternating sensory input (such as hand tapping or auditory tones). This bilateral stimulation is believed to mimic the rapid eye movement (REM) sleep phase, during which emotional processing occurs naturally.

2. Eight Phases:

EMDR therapy is structured into eight distinct phases:

– History Taking: Gathering information about the client's history and identifying targets for treatment.

– Educating the client about EMDR therapy and developing coping skills to manage distress.

– Assessment: Identifying specific memories or experiences to target during EMDR sessions.

– Desensitization: Using bilateral stimulation to process traumatic memories and associated negative emotions.

– Installation: Strengthening positive beliefs and adaptive coping mechanisms.

– Body Scan: Assessing for any residual physical tension related to the targeted memory.

– Closure: Ensuring the client feels stable and grounded at the end of each session.

– Reevaluation: Reviewing progress and identifying any additional targets for future sessions.

3. Adaptive Information Processing Model:

EMDR therapy is based on the Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) model, which posits that many psychological problems are due to unprocessed memories that are stored in a maladaptive way. EMDR aims to facilitate the brain’s natural ability to process and integrate these memories, resulting in reduced emotional distress and improved cognitive functioning.

4. EMDR therapy is primarily used to treat PTSD and trauma-related disorders, but it has also been adapted for use with other conditions such as anxiety, depression, phobias, and more. It is considered an evidence-based practice and is endorsed by organizations such as the American Psychiatric Association (APA) and the World Health Organization (WHO) for the treatment of PTSD.

Overall, EMDR therapy is designed to help individuals reprocess traumatic memories and associated negative beliefs, allowing them to move towards a state of psychological healing and adaptive functioning. It is typically conducted by trained therapists who have completed specific EMDR training programs.

Written by Jennifer Freel, Registered Mental Health Intern IMH26129

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*Coming soon, Jennifer Freel will be offering EMDR Therapy to further support her clients’ healing journeys.

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, EMDR Therapy, empower, Intimacy, marriage, Men's Issues, Mental Health, Women's Issues

Emotional Affairs and Personality Disorders in Marriage and Family Therapy

November 8, 2024 by

Navigating the Complex Terrain of Emotional Affairs and Personality Disorders in Marriage and Family Therapy
In the intricate landscape of marriage and family therapy, the challenges posed by emotional affairs can be even more profound when compounded by personality disorders. Whether you’re a therapist working with couples or someone navigating these issues personally, understanding the interplay between emotional connections and mental health is essential.

Understanding Emotional Affairs
Emotional affairs often begin as a friendship that deepens into a connection characterized by intimacy and secrecy. Unlike physical infidelity, emotional affairs involve a significant emotional investment in someone outside the marriage, which can lead to feelings of betrayal and profound hurt.

For couples, these affairs can signal deeper issues within the relationship, such as unmet emotional needs, communication breakdowns, or a desire for validation. In therapy, it’s crucial to explore the underlying factors that led to the emotional affair while addressing the couple’s dynamics.

Written by Danielle Fous, Marriage and Family Graduate Student

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Couples/Marriage, Depression, Family, honesty, Intimacy, love, marriage, Mental Health

3 Habits Impacting Your Mental Health

November 1, 2024 by

Oftentimes, when we think about what could harm our mental health, our minds go to major life events—the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or the death of a loved one. But small habits that often go unnoticed can also play a major role. Below are three common habits that could be negatively affecting your mental health:

1. Not Getting Enough Sleep
Sleep impacts your mental health in numerous ways—it can affect your cognitive skills, mood, and behavior. As such, failing to get enough sleep can increase your risk of anxiety and depression and make it more difficult for you to focus, solve problems, make decisions, remember things, and control your emotions and impulses. Try sticking to the same sleep schedule, keeping your bedroom cool and dark, and performing a relaxing activity before bed (e.g., taking a warm bath or reading).

2. Being Inactive
In today’s busy world, it can be difficult to find time to exercise, but it’s important to stay active. Not only can exercise improve your physical health, but it can also boost your mental health. In fact, studies have shown that regularly exercising could reduce your risk of depression.

3. Scrolling Through Social Media
Social media can be beneficial—it can help you stay connected to long-distance family and friends and keep up with current events—but research suggests that spending too much time on it can lead to anxiety and depression. To reduce your screen time, try setting a timer, turning off notifications, or deleting apps from your phone.

Start Improving Your Mental Health
In addition to breaking the negative habits described above, one of the best things you can do to boost your mental health is speak to a therapist. Fortunately, you can entrust your care to the skilled team at our practice. Once we’ve learned more about you and any issues you may be experiencing, we’ll be able to provide you with customized advice for how to eliminate negative habits from your life and start implementing more positive ones. Contact us today to schedule your first appointment.

Written by Sherline Herard, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, Depression, empower, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, marriage, Men's Issues, Mental Health, Self-Worth, Women Empowerment, Women's Issues

My PhD Journey

October 25, 2024 by

Recently I embarked on a new journey in my PhD program. My qualitative course is one of the first three and the most challenging. This course has led to a lot of soul searching on the best way to present my research question. I decided that it may be best if I research a specific
group. I have chosen to narrow my research down to black married men. My question is currently still under construction. I want it to be a meaningful statement that articulates how the overarching theme of the study. I also do not want to lead participants to the conclusion that I am trying to make. Therefore, a vaguer description might be beneficial. My thought was “What are the communication barriers that black males face in marriage?”. I have been gauging the interest of men that I know, who are married and find communication in their relationship difficult.

So far, I have received a lot of inquiry on this topic and the idea of diving deeper into a man’s vulnerability with his wife. Specifically black men, who in my experience must consistently portray a strength. This is a very taxing façade to project at all times. An assumption of marriage is that both individuals are comfortable to show their true and authentic self. If this statement was an absolute, my assumption is that men would express more than just anger in their relationship. I tend to believe that men test the boundaries of how open they can be with their spouse. When their vulnerability is rejected through a critical reaction, disappointment, or lack of comfortability by their spouse; men tend to shut down.

As a boy growing up, I was taught that my emotions were not acceptable. This resulted in behaviors that caused more damage for my mental health. Because I did not feel safe expressing myself, I found it hard to be vulnerable with others. I also found myself in unhealthy coping mechanisms and hiding behaviors that were not seen as “good”. I longed for people that I could unpack the turmoil that I felt inside. I thought that in marriage I would find this safe space. What I found was my hiding of my true emotions gave my wife an unrealistic expectation of me as a man. I was always “strong and stoic” in our dating phase of the relationship. For 5 years before marriage my wife thought that nothing phased me. She later realized I was a ball of emotions. In the beginning of or marriage she did not know how to react to what I was saying. This led to me feeling alone and misunderstood within my own house, almost as if I was a teenager all over again. Though this sounds dramatic, it is natural for us as humans to relate our current reality to past situations. These trips back to spaces of emotional scarcity can limit our ability to be present in the moment, and while this sounds like a riveting crisis. It would be highly unproductive for
your mental health if I just left you with a problem and no way to work towards a different result.

If you find yourself in a place where you do not feel like you have the permission to be vulnerable in relationships; I believe it starts by creating a space for yourself. We have all heard the saying that you cannot give others what you do not give yourself. It is also very true that you cannot ask from others what you first ask from for yourself. If I do not think my voice matters, someone else saying it does will not validate the insecurity inside of me. As men, we must give our inner child the freedom to feel every emotion, no matter how uncomfortable. As we begin to accept, we are more than anger and excitement, we will be able to ask others accept that as well.

Written by Tim Nelson, Registered Mental Health Intern #25977

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, Depression, empower, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, marriage, Mental Health

Understanding Good Mental Health: A Holistic Perspective

October 11, 2024 by

As I embarked on my journey as a Student Mental Health Intern, I immersed myself in various theories, techniques, and research to enhance clients’ mental well-being. While these tools are valuable, a fundamental question persisted: “What does good mental health truly entail?”

Human experiences are diverse, yet we often find common ground in our pursuit of purpose and fulfillment—whether through a thriving career, nurturing a family, or simply leading a meaningful life. The essence of mental health becomes clearer when we acknowledge that our search for purpose invariably involves navigating mistakes and overcoming challenges. By confronting these obstacles, we learn about ourselves and our capacity to achieve our goals.

The essence of good mental health transcends external achievements; it lies in addressing and nurturing our internal struggles. Common advice to “just do what makes you happy” or “do what you think is best for yourself,” I would argue, can inadvertently foster isolation if not acknowledged with a broader perspective. Focusing solely on personal happiness might seem appealing and, in some cases, be what’s best. It may also lead to a solitary existence if it means being too comfortable and becoming stagnant.

In my view, our purpose extends beyond individual satisfaction; it involves fostering meaningful connections and communities. These relationships, forged through shared experiences and proximity, often evolve into deeper bonds that teach us about sacrifice and selflessness. By prioritizing the well-being of others, we cultivate discipline—a crucial element in forming positive habits. Though these habits may seem basic, they contribute significantly to overall mental health, such as maintaining a balanced diet or exercising regularly.

In a world with conflicting opinions and materialistic promises from media and celebrities, it’s easy to be misled about what constitutes genuine mental well-being. The notion that acquiring possessions or achieving a certain appearance will resolve our issues is a common but flawed narrative.

I would make the case that true mental health is characterized by the ability to embrace life’s joys and challenges with resilience. It involves having a supportive community to rely on in times of need and fostering a mindset that values living well not only for personal gain but also for the positive impact on others.

In essence, good mental health is a balanced state of being that integrates personal resilience, supportive relationships, and a sense of purpose that extends beyond oneself.

Written by Juan Cubillos, Graduate Student in Clinical Mental Health

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, empower, Inspire, kindness, Men's Issues, Mental Health, Self-Worth, Women's Issues