Don’t romanticize your spouse’s life
If you’ve never traveled for work, it might seem like a pretty sweet gig: All expenses paid in upscale restaurants; clean, cozy hotel rooms; no carpools, sibling rivalry or dishes to deal with. But for the most part, work travel is, well, work. There’s almost never time to explore and enjoy the city like you normally would when on vacation, the work is often exhausting and the experience can be painfully lonely.
For the traveling spouse, home can sound like heaven — forgetting all the day-to-day duties and stresses that come with home life that the non traveling spouse has to deal with all the time.
Be flexible
When you’re traveling, don’t try to micromanage your spouse’s schedule and routine. And when you come home and it isn’t quite what you remember or like it to be, try to blend in instead of trying to disrupt what’s working. Don’t second-guess your spouse’s decisions.
Connect with your spouse every day
Don’t fall victim to the “out of sight, out of mind” phenomenon. Marvelous technology can help you stay in touch: Use it. Skype or Face-time with your husband or wife. Share pictures. Stay connected and keep communicating. In fact, over-communicate: Keep your spouse in the loop about everything how long you’ll be gone, who you’re with and what you’re doing, what’s up at home. By communicating these details, you’re creating a greater level of safety and trust.
Spend time together when you’re both at home
Look for activities you can do together — ones that create unity, bonding and attachment.
If you have a relationship with God or religion, some couples have found that praying together was a wonderful opportunity to bond. “Nothing brings a couple closer than prayer.”
Take care of yourselves
A good relationship with a traveling spouse isn’t just about finding opportunities for togetherness. It’s also about fostering mental and emotional health while apart. Make sure that the non-traveling spouse is getting time away from the kids and is spending some “friend” time with other adults to re-energize. Meanwhile, the traveling spouse should be sure to get rest, exercise and downtime.
Re-evaluate the need for travel
Is your spouse fully on board with the travel schedule? If not, then your marriage “team” is losing. Always prioritize your spouse and marriage above a job.
If frequent trips are creating constant headaches for the non-traveling spouse, figure out a way to fix the problems. Hiring a lawn service, for instance, if the spouse is overwhelmed with yard work. But if the real issue is the absence itself. Missing out on too many special moments, for instance, or watching the kids grow up from afar, then maybe it’s time to find a new job or figure out a way to cut down on travel. Whatever the solution, make sure it’s a win for both people.
Guard your marriage
Avoid relationships that could damage your marriage. Be careful how you cope with the loneliness of being away from your spouse. Connecting and emotionally investing with opposite-sex colleagues or friends can set you up for an affair.