Grief: Graduate Student Perspective
Everyone has experienced some level of grief at some point in their lives. Grief can be tricky because it is mainly associated with death. Did you know that grief is not limited to death, but is
a result of different types of significant loss? Grief can be the loss of friendships, relationships, jobs, pets, etc.
Stages of Grief
Grief is presented in five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Identifying a specific stage can be challenging, as some individuals can experience more than one stage. When an individual is experiencing denial, they may experience shock, disbelief, and numbness, and may experience anger towards themselves, others, and even the deceased. Individuals experiencing bargaining may state, “Where is God in this/ How dare God let this happen!” The depression stage can display as “Why go on at all?” Lastly, acceptance consists of acknowledging the loss and adapting to life.
Theories/Techniques
Combining existential and cognitive behavioral therapy can be useful when dealing with grief. Maybe you or someone you know has had difficulty rediscovering their purpose. Existential focuses on redefining purpose by implementing these techniques: the empty chair method, reframing, self-reflection, exploring meaning and purpose, encouraging responsibility, and focusing on the present.
CBT focuses on identifying and reframing negative thoughts. Depending on the situation, individuals may experience survivor’s guilt. Statements like “I wish it were me instead of them,”
or “Things would have been different if I had…” are examples of negative thinking. CBT helps the individual understand their thought process and establish healthier ways of thinking and
coping. Allowing space for addressing guilt and regret is necessary; however, understanding the underlying factors behind their guilt and shame is essential to shift to positive thinking. Shifting
from “I wish it were me instead of them” to “I am hurt that they are no longer with us.” There are other techniques like journaling, mindfulness, and social support.
Coping with Grief
Grief looks different to everyone, meaning coping strategies and healing stages may vary. When dealing with grief, it is important to prioritize self-care, engage in meaningful activities, create
rituals and memorialize, be patient with yourself, acknowledge and accept your feelings, and seek support.
Written by Jasmine Robinson, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health