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Craving Closeness & Connections

July 4, 2025 by

As humans, we crave the closeness and connections that come with having someone around, whether it is a friend or romantic partner. Have you ever wondered why some people seem naturally secure in relationships, while others struggle with trust, intimacy, or independence? The answer may lie in attachment styles, a concept rooted in psychology that explains how we relate to others, especially in close relationships. Attachment styles are the foundation of our human connections and our capacity to be there for one another. This creates meaningful attachments and memories with others and our lives. However, with closeness and letting our guards down comes the fear of making connections with others and being vulnerable. Whether that is due to past experiences or our insecurities coming out and influencing us, it can be hard. Understanding your attachment style can help you gain insight into yourself and foster meaningful, deep relationships. You might be thinking to yourself, “Well, how do I start?”. The first step in combating an unhealthy attachment style is to learn about the attachment style you have. As many people say, knowing is half the battle. The 4 attachment styles are anxious, fearful-avoidant, avoidant, and secure. You can take this quiz to see which style you have (Attachment Style Quiz: Free & Fast Attachment Style Test). Now that you know which attachment style you have, it is time for step 2, which will happen without you having to try too hard. It is being aware of how our own experiences are influencing our behaviors now. Then it comes down to making changes to positively influence your life based on those observations. I know what you are thinking, “How do I make that change?”. Don’t worry, it can seem daunting, but once you start seeing it, the change has already started. Trust in your intuition and have faith that you will become the best version of yourself as long as you continue to challenge your ways of thinking.

Written by Tiya Delson, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

Ainsworth, M.D.S., Blehar, M.C., Waters, E. & Wall, S. (1978) Patterns of Attachment. A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Hillsdale, NJ: LEA.

Levy, M. B., & Davis, K. E. (1988). Lovestyles and attachment styles compared: Their relations to each other and to various relationship characteristics. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 5(4), 439–471. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407588054004 

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, empower, Intimacy, love, marriage, Men's Issues, Mental Health, Self-Worth, Women Empowerment, Women's Issues

Yoga and Psychotherapy

June 27, 2025 by

In recent years, more people are turning to holistic approaches to improve their mental health. One powerful combination gaining attention is the integration of yoga and psychotherapy. While these two practices may seem unrelated at first glance, they actually complement each other in meaningful and transformative ways.

Traditional talk therapy helps people make sense of their thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships. It offers a safe space to explore past experiences, process trauma, navigate anxiety or depression, and work toward greater self-understanding. But as anyone who has struggled with overwhelming emotions or persistent stress knows, our minds and bodies are deeply connected. What we think and feel doesn’t just stay in our heads, it shows up in our posture, our breath, our muscles, and our nervous system. This is where yoga comes in. Yoga, especially when practiced with awareness, is more than
just exercise. It teaches us to tune into the body, breathe with intention, and notice what’s happening in the present moment. When combined with psychotherapy, yoga can help people move through emotional blocks, ground themselves in the here and now, and develop a deeper sense of self-compassion. It can also be a powerful tool for regulating the nervous system, particularly for those recovering from trauma or living with chronic stress.

In therapy, we often talk about feelings, but many of us struggle to feel those emotions fully—especially if we’ve been taught to suppress or avoid them. Yoga provides a safe and structured way to begin reconnecting with the body, which is often where those emotions are stored. Simple breathing exercises or mindful movement can help bring awareness to areas of tension or numbness, gently inviting us to notice and release what we’ve been holding onto, often without even realizing it. For people living with anxiety, yoga’s emphasis on slow, steady breathing and present-moment awareness can be
grounding and soothing. It helps interrupt the cycle of racing thoughts and allows space for the body to relax, which in turn can support clearer thinking and emotional resilience. For those dealing with depression or grief, the gentle movement of yoga can help awaken the body and mind from a state of stagnation.

Ultimately, combining yoga and psychotherapy is about honoring the wisdom of both the mind and the body. It recognizes that healing isn’t just an intellectual process—it’s also physical, emotional, and even spiritual. Whether you’re working through trauma, managing stress, or simply trying to live more intentionally, this integrative approach can offer a powerful path toward balance and wholeness.

Written by Sophie Gengler, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, empower, Inspire, kindness, love, Mental Health, Psychotherapy, Self-Worth, Yoga

Celebrating Mental Health Awareness Month: Why It Matters More Than Ever

May 16, 2025 by

May marks Mental Health Awareness Month, an essential observance that highlights the importance of mental health and encourages a conversation about mental illnesses, promoting strategies for achieving mental health and wellness. Given the challenges we’ve all faced during recent times—pandemics, social
unrest, economic uncertainties—this month’s observance feels more urgent than ever. It’s a call to pause, reflect, and engage in meaningful dialogue about mental health.

Understanding Mental Health
Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Positive mental health allows people to realize their full potential, cope with the stresses of life, work productively, and make meaningful contributions to their communities.

However, when we talk about mental health, it’s crucial to address the stigma that often surrounds mental health issues. Stigma can lead to discrimination and can be one of the biggest hurdles that prevent people from seeking help. Mental Health Awareness Month serves as a reminder that mental health is as important as physical health and deserves the same quality of support and care.

This Year’s Theme
Each year, Mental Health Awareness Month includes a theme to bring focus to specific issues. For instance, recent themes have focused on tools and resources that can help people manage stress, cope with uncertainty, and recognize signs of mental health issues early on. Themes aim to make mental health care accessible and approachable for everyone, reinforcing that it’s okay to seek help.

How You Can Participate
There are many ways to observe Mental Health Awareness Month, whether you’re looking to engage on a personal level or help raise awareness in your community. Here are a few suggestions:

Educate Yourself and Others: Learn about mental health issues through credible sources and share this knowledge to help reduce stigma. Knowledge empowers people to seek help without fear of judgment.
Share Your Story: If you’re comfortable, sharing your mental health journey can inspire others to do the same and contribute significantly to dismantling stigma.
Advocate for Policy Change: Support local and national mental health advocacy groups that push for policies improving mental health services. Advocacy can lead to substantial changes in how services are provided and funded.

Promote Social Media Awareness: Use your social media platforms to spread awareness by sharing posts, articles, and videos about mental health. Use relevant hashtags to increase the reach of your messages.
Check-In on Loved Ones: Sometimes, a simple conversation asking “How are you really feeling?” can make a big difference. Check in on friends, family, and even colleagues.

Resources and Support
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, several resources are available:

National Helplines: Organizations like National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) offer helplines where you can find support and advice.
Local Mental Health Services: Search for local clinics and therapists that offer tailored mental health care.
Online Platforms: Websites and apps designed for mental health can offer tools and resources to help manage your mental well-being.

A Final Word
Mental Health Awareness Month is more than just a monthly observance. It is an ongoing commitment to creating a healthier, more compassionate society where we can talk openly about mental health issues and support each other in times of need. Let’s use this month to spread kindness, offer support, and make every effort to understand the complex world of mental health.

Written by Sherline Herard, MH24002 Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, Depression, EMDR Therapy, empower, Inspire, Mental Health

How to Heal After Divorce: 5 Steps Toward Wholeness

May 9, 2025 by

Divorce can feel like an emotional earthquake—one that shakes the foundation of your identity, relationships, and future. But healing is not only possible—it’s powerful. This chapter of your life may have closed, but a new one is ready to begin. Here are five meaningful steps to help you heal and rediscover your strength after divorce:

  1. Allow Yourself to Grieve
    Grief isn’t just for death. Divorce is the loss of dreams, routines, and the person you thought you’d grow old with. Give yourself permission to feel—whether it’s sadness, anger, confusion, or even relief. Suppressing emotions only delays healing. Feel it to free it.
  2. Reclaim Your Identity
    During marriage, it’s easy to lose parts of yourself—your passions, routines, even your voice. Healing begins with rediscovery. Ask yourself: What did I love before the relationship? What excites me now? Take small steps toward activities that remind you who you are.
  3. Set Boundaries for Emotional Safety
    Whether you’re co-parenting or managing mutual friends, clear boundaries are crucial. You don’t owe anyone access to your healing process. Prioritize your peace by limiting interactions that drain you or pull you back into past patterns.
  4. Surround Yourself with Support
    Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Seek out safe spaces—friends, support groups, or a therapist—where you can speak freely without judgment. You’re not alone in your pain, and you don’t have to walk this path solo.
  5. Rewrite the Narrative
    It’s easy to blame yourself or get stuck in regret. Instead, ask: What did this experience teach me about love, boundaries, and self-worth? Healing isn’t about erasing the past—it’s about transforming it. Let it be the soil for new growth.

You are not broken. You are becoming. And the version of you that rises from this will be wiser, stronger, and more beautifully aligned with the love you truly deserve.

Your new beginning starts now. Reach out today to get started.

Written by Kellie Hatch, Registered Mental Health Intern #26644

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, Depression, empower, Intimacy, marriage, Mental Health, Self-Worth

Embracing Sexual Well-Being: A Guide to Sexual Mental Health

December 13, 2024 by

Embracing Sexual Well-Being: A Guide to Sexual Mental Health

Sexual health is an integral part of overall well-being, encompassing physical, emotional, mental, and social dimensions. Yet, discussions around sexual and mental health often remain taboo, leaving many individuals without the knowledge and support they need. This blog aims to shed light on the importance of sexual mental health, offering insights and tips for cultivating a healthy and fulfilling sexual life.

Understanding Sexual Mental Health

Sexual mental health refers to a state of well-being in which an individual experiences positive and respectful relationships, has the ability to enjoy and express their sexuality, and feels free from discrimination, coercion, and violence. It involves:

  • Self-Esteem and Body Image: Feeling confident and comfortable in your own body.

  • Communication and Consent: Being able to communicate your needs and boundaries and respecting those of others.

  • Emotional Connection: Building and maintaining healthy emotional connections with partners.

  • Healthy Sexual Function: Experiencing sexual activities that are pleasurable and free from dysfunction or pain.

Common Sexual Mental Health Concerns

1. Performance Anxiety

  • Causes: Fear of not meeting expectations, past negative experiences, and societal pressures.

  • Impact: Can lead to erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or difficulty achieving orgasm.

2. Body Image Issues

  • Causes: Media portrayals of “ideal” bodies, societal standards, and personal insecurities.

  • Impact: Can reduce sexual desire, confidence, and satisfaction.

3. Lack of Desire or Libido

  • Causes: Stress, hormonal imbalances, relationship issues, mental health disorders.

  • Impact: Can affect personal well-being and relationship dynamics.

4. Trauma and PTSD

  • Causes: Past experiences of sexual abuse or assault.

  • Impact: This can lead to anxiety, avoidance of sexual activity, and emotional distress.

5. Relationship Issues

  • Causes: Poor communication, unresolved conflicts, lack of intimacy.

  • Impact: This can create emotional distance and reduce sexual satisfaction.

Tips for Improving Sexual Mental Health

1. Open Communication

  • Practice Honest Conversations: Discuss your desires, boundaries, and concerns with your partner.

  • Seek Understanding: Be willing to listen and empathize with your partner’s perspective.

2. Focus on Self-Esteem and Body Positivity

  • Self-Acceptance: Embrace your body as it is and recognize your unique beauty.

  • Positive Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to boost your self-esteem and body image.

3. Manage Stress and Anxiety

  • Mindfulness and Meditation: Practice mindfulness to stay present and reduce anxiety.

  • Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or yoga into your routine.

4. Seek Professional Help

  • Therapists and Counselors: Consult with a mental health professional specializing in sexual health.

  • Support Groups: Join support groups to connect with others facing similar issues.

5. Educate Yourself

  • Read and Learn: Educate yourself about sexual health and well-being through books, articles, and reputable online resources.

  • Stay Informed: Keep up to date with the latest research and findings in sexual health.

6. Create a Healthy Lifestyle

  • Exercise Regularly: Physical activity can boost mood and improve body image.

  • Balanced Diet: Maintain a healthy diet to support overall well-being.

  • Adequate Sleep: Ensure you get enough rest to manage stress and maintain energy levels.

Resources for Sexual Mental Health

  • Books: “Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoski and “The Guide to Getting It On!” by Paul Joannides are excellent resources for understanding sexual health.

  • Websites: Planned Parenthood and the American Sexual Health Association (ASHA) offer valuable information and resources.

  • Apps: Apps like “MJoy” and “Rosy” provide educational content and tools for enhancing sexual well-being.

Conclusion

Sexual mental health is a vital component of overall health and happiness. By addressing concerns such as performance anxiety, body image issues, and lack of desire, and by fostering open communication, self-esteem, and professional support, you can enhance your sexual well-being. Remember, everyone deserves a healthy and fulfilling sexual life. Embrace your sexuality, educate yourself, and seek the support you need to thrive.

By prioritizing your sexual and mental health, you can build stronger relationships, boost your confidence, and experience greater satisfaction in all areas of your life.

Written by Jennifer Freel, Registered Mental Health Intern IMH26129

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, Depression, empower, Intimacy, kindness, love, Mental Health, Self-Worth, Sexual Health

Emotional Affairs and Personality Disorders in Marriage and Family Therapy

November 8, 2024 by

Navigating the Complex Terrain of Emotional Affairs and Personality Disorders in Marriage and Family Therapy
In the intricate landscape of marriage and family therapy, the challenges posed by emotional affairs can be even more profound when compounded by personality disorders. Whether you’re a therapist working with couples or someone navigating these issues personally, understanding the interplay between emotional connections and mental health is essential.

Understanding Emotional Affairs
Emotional affairs often begin as a friendship that deepens into a connection characterized by intimacy and secrecy. Unlike physical infidelity, emotional affairs involve a significant emotional investment in someone outside the marriage, which can lead to feelings of betrayal and profound hurt.

For couples, these affairs can signal deeper issues within the relationship, such as unmet emotional needs, communication breakdowns, or a desire for validation. In therapy, it’s crucial to explore the underlying factors that led to the emotional affair while addressing the couple’s dynamics.

Written by Danielle Fous, Marriage and Family Graduate Student

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Couples/Marriage, Depression, Family, honesty, Intimacy, love, marriage, Mental Health

3 Habits Impacting Your Mental Health

November 1, 2024 by

Oftentimes, when we think about what could harm our mental health, our minds go to major life events—the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or the death of a loved one. But small habits that often go unnoticed can also play a major role. Below are three common habits that could be negatively affecting your mental health:

1. Not Getting Enough Sleep
Sleep impacts your mental health in numerous ways—it can affect your cognitive skills, mood, and behavior. As such, failing to get enough sleep can increase your risk of anxiety and depression and make it more difficult for you to focus, solve problems, make decisions, remember things, and control your emotions and impulses. Try sticking to the same sleep schedule, keeping your bedroom cool and dark, and performing a relaxing activity before bed (e.g., taking a warm bath or reading).

2. Being Inactive
In today’s busy world, it can be difficult to find time to exercise, but it’s important to stay active. Not only can exercise improve your physical health, but it can also boost your mental health. In fact, studies have shown that regularly exercising could reduce your risk of depression.

3. Scrolling Through Social Media
Social media can be beneficial—it can help you stay connected to long-distance family and friends and keep up with current events—but research suggests that spending too much time on it can lead to anxiety and depression. To reduce your screen time, try setting a timer, turning off notifications, or deleting apps from your phone.

Start Improving Your Mental Health
In addition to breaking the negative habits described above, one of the best things you can do to boost your mental health is speak to a therapist. Fortunately, you can entrust your care to the skilled team at our practice. Once we’ve learned more about you and any issues you may be experiencing, we’ll be able to provide you with customized advice for how to eliminate negative habits from your life and start implementing more positive ones. Contact us today to schedule your first appointment.

Written by Sherline Herard, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, Depression, empower, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, marriage, Men's Issues, Mental Health, Self-Worth, Women Empowerment, Women's Issues

My PhD Journey

October 25, 2024 by

Recently I embarked on a new journey in my PhD program. My qualitative course is one of the first three and the most challenging. This course has led to a lot of soul searching on the best way to present my research question. I decided that it may be best if I research a specific
group. I have chosen to narrow my research down to black married men. My question is currently still under construction. I want it to be a meaningful statement that articulates how the overarching theme of the study. I also do not want to lead participants to the conclusion that I am trying to make. Therefore, a vaguer description might be beneficial. My thought was “What are the communication barriers that black males face in marriage?”. I have been gauging the interest of men that I know, who are married and find communication in their relationship difficult.

So far, I have received a lot of inquiry on this topic and the idea of diving deeper into a man’s vulnerability with his wife. Specifically black men, who in my experience must consistently portray a strength. This is a very taxing façade to project at all times. An assumption of marriage is that both individuals are comfortable to show their true and authentic self. If this statement was an absolute, my assumption is that men would express more than just anger in their relationship. I tend to believe that men test the boundaries of how open they can be with their spouse. When their vulnerability is rejected through a critical reaction, disappointment, or lack of comfortability by their spouse; men tend to shut down.

As a boy growing up, I was taught that my emotions were not acceptable. This resulted in behaviors that caused more damage for my mental health. Because I did not feel safe expressing myself, I found it hard to be vulnerable with others. I also found myself in unhealthy coping mechanisms and hiding behaviors that were not seen as “good”. I longed for people that I could unpack the turmoil that I felt inside. I thought that in marriage I would find this safe space. What I found was my hiding of my true emotions gave my wife an unrealistic expectation of me as a man. I was always “strong and stoic” in our dating phase of the relationship. For 5 years before marriage my wife thought that nothing phased me. She later realized I was a ball of emotions. In the beginning of or marriage she did not know how to react to what I was saying. This led to me feeling alone and misunderstood within my own house, almost as if I was a teenager all over again. Though this sounds dramatic, it is natural for us as humans to relate our current reality to past situations. These trips back to spaces of emotional scarcity can limit our ability to be present in the moment, and while this sounds like a riveting crisis. It would be highly unproductive for
your mental health if I just left you with a problem and no way to work towards a different result.

If you find yourself in a place where you do not feel like you have the permission to be vulnerable in relationships; I believe it starts by creating a space for yourself. We have all heard the saying that you cannot give others what you do not give yourself. It is also very true that you cannot ask from others what you first ask from for yourself. If I do not think my voice matters, someone else saying it does will not validate the insecurity inside of me. As men, we must give our inner child the freedom to feel every emotion, no matter how uncomfortable. As we begin to accept, we are more than anger and excitement, we will be able to ask others accept that as well.

Written by Tim Nelson, Registered Mental Health Intern #25977

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, Depression, empower, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, marriage, Mental Health

The Silent Struggle: Unraveling the Mental Health Consequences of Infidelity

May 16, 2024 by

Infidelity is a complex and emotionally charged issue that can have profound effects on individuals involved in a relationship. While the impact on trust and the relationship itself is widely acknowledged, the mental health consequences of infidelity are often underestimated and overlooked. In this blog, we will delve into the silent struggle that many individuals face when grappling with the aftermath of infidelity and explore the psychological toll it can take.

  1. Betrayal Trauma: One of the most significant mental health consequences of infidelity is the experience of betrayal trauma. The discovery or revelation of a partner’s infidelity can shatter a person’s sense of security and trust. Betrayal trauma often leads to symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, and emotional numbness. The betrayed individual may find it challenging to rebuild a sense of safety and security, impacting their overall mental well-being.
  2. Emotional Rollercoaster: The emotional rollercoaster triggered by infidelity can be intense and prolonged. Feelings of anger, sadness, confusion, and despair may cycle through an individual’s mind, making it difficult to find stability and emotional balance. The constant oscillation between different emotions can lead to heightened stress levels, anxiety, and even depression.
  3. Self-Esteem and Identity Crisis: Infidelity can inflict a severe blow to one’s self-esteem and identity. The betrayed individual may question their worth and desirability, leading to a profound sense of inadequacy. This crisis of identity can trigger feelings of shame and guilt, further contributing to mental health challenges. Rebuilding self-esteem after infidelity requires a delicate and intentional process of self-reflection and self-compassion.
  4. Trust Issues and Fear of Intimacy: The breach of trust caused by infidelity can result in long-lasting trust issues. Individuals who have experienced infidelity may struggle to trust others, even in new relationships. The fear of intimacy and vulnerability can hinder the ability to form deep connections, perpetuating a cycle of isolation and emotional distancing.
  5. Coping Mechanisms and Unhealthy Behaviors: To cope with the emotional pain, some individuals may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse, overeating, or excessive work. These behaviors, while providing temporary relief, can exacerbate mental health issues and contribute to a cycle of self-destructive patterns.

Infidelity is not just a breach of trust within a relationship; it leaves a lasting imprint on the mental health of those involved. Acknowledging and addressing the psychological consequences of infidelity is crucial for individuals to navigate the path toward healing. Seeking professional help, fostering open communication, and practicing self-care are essential steps in rebuilding mental well-being after the tumultuous experience of infidelity.

Written by Catherina Rosen

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Couples/Marriage, Depression, Family, honesty, Intimacy, marriage, Mental Health, Self-Worth

Breaking Free: 3 Tools to Transform Your Relationship Dynamics

March 21, 2024 by

Walking on eggshells in your relationship? Here are 3 tools to change everything.

We all want to feel free to trust and love our other half, but sometimes find it difficult if they’re controlling, scrolling on their phones during “quality time” or making us work hard for the scraps of love and attention we crave.

Sometimes we get to a place in our lives where we wonder how much longer we can be living this way. Most of us have lived enough life to know that yesterday might be starting to look permanent, causing us to wonder, “How do we change our tomorrow?”.

These simple tools, when used correctly, can help improve your relationship and point you on a
path to a greater sense of self:

Transform your habit of thinking:

We all have an inner critic that lives inside of us, made up of fearful thoughts that keep us feeling stuck. These thoughts are not who we are, but have been wired into our subconscious to keep us safe. Who we really are knows we deserve more than what we are getting, but somehow we keep moving back into our old habits. To get the relationship we want, we need to get curious about how our inner critic thinks it’s helping us through presenting the negative, fearful thoughts, and retrain our minds to replace them with faith in ourselves. You are not
your thoughts. You are the one who is aware of your thoughts and has the power to change them to create the life and relationship you know you deserve.

Change where you put your energy:

One of the most terrifying feelings we can experience is the feeling of helplessness. This is especially true in our relationships. To avoid this feeling, our human nature is to try to control external factors outside of our control. We sometimes put a lot of energy into trying to change (or control) our partner, leaving us feeling burnt out and resentful. The fastest way to reclaim our inner peace is by gaining clarity on what we do have control over, and what we do not. Once we realize we only have control over our own actions and choices, the magic begins to happen. Redirecting all of the energy that was once used to try and change our partner, we can focus on building the life we want, and if our partner is willing to come along for the ride, they
will rise to our level.

Train people how to treat you:

We all know the true saying “Actions speak louder than words”, but sometimes this idea gets lost when it comes to our relationships. We may tell our partner that we won’t put up with something anymore or we are going to leave… but then we don’t follow through. We may say, “That’s not okay”, but continue to give them what they want. To get the changes we require, we need to reward our partner with their love language when they show behaviors we want or desire. When unwanted behaviors show up, we limit any reinforcement of that behavior. With the help of a therapist to navigate the intricacies of relationships, we can make a healthy plan to limit our presence and/or attention in a specific way. Over time, if they truly are our person, their behaviors will shift into what we have been asking for but haven’t been following up with our actions until now.

Written by Kellie Hatch – Mental Health Graduate Student

Filed Under: Couples/Marriage, empower, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, marriage