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The Exhaustion of Never Being Enough

September 5, 2025 by
How Self-Improvement Culture Hurts Mental Health
 
Everywhere we look, there are messages telling us to be better. Read this book, try that routine! Meditate in the morning, journal before bed. At first, these things can be helpful. But after a while, it can start to feel like a job you can never finish.
 
Self-improvement is often sold as the answer to happiness; however, it can leave people feeling burned out and never good enough. Social media often makes this even worse. We see others showing off their perfect routines and achievements, which can make us feel like we are falling behind. Instead of feeling inspired, we may feel pressured and anxious.
 
Researchers have found that this pressure is connected to perfectionism and burnout. One study showed that people who constantly worry about making mistakes or not measuring up are more likely to feel exhausted and stuck in cycles of negative thinking (Limburg et. al., 2017). Another study found that burnout is often tied to low self-worth, especially when people feel they always need to prove themselves (Carmassi et al., 2025).
 
The problem is not the tools themselves. Meditation, therapy, and journaling can all be extremely powerful tools. The problem comes when growth becomes a race. When every part of life is about improving, rest starts to feel like something you have to earn, instead of something you deserve.
 
True growth often begins when we stop pushing so hard. It comes from kindness toward ourselves, not from endless “fixing”.Try this today: write down one way you are already enough, without changing anything. Keep it simple! Let it remind you that you do not have to earn your worth.
 
 
Sources:
 
Carmassi, C., Bertelloni, C. A., Dell’Oste, V., Pedrinelli, V., Cordone, A., Bargagna, P., … Dell’Osso, L. (2025). Burnout, resilience, and self-esteem in healthcare workers: A mediation analysis. Frontiers in Public Health, 13, 1537352. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpubh.2025.1537352
 
Limburg, K., Watson, H. J., Hagger, M. S., & Egan, S. J. (2017). The relationship between perfectionism and psychopathology: A meta-analysis. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 73(10), 1301–1326. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22435
 
Filed Under: Anxiety, empower, Inspire, kindness, love, Mental Health, Narrative Therapy, Psychotherapy, Self-Worth

Prioritizing Mental Health When Going Back to School

August 22, 2025 by

Going back to school can be exciting but also bring a wave of stress, pressure, and anxiety. Whether you’re a student, parent, or educator, the transition from summer break to another school year is a major shift that can impact one’s mental health in several ways.

For students, returning to class can mean academic expectations, social challenges, and the pressure to perform. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings rather than dismiss them. Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re not good enough; it means you’re human. Creating a routine that includes sleep, time for fun, and self-care can make a huge difference in maintaining one’s mental well-being throughout the year.

Parents, too, may feel the stress of new schedules, homework battles, or supporting children with their mental health struggles. It’s okay to seek support and remember that you don’t have to have all the answers. Simply being present and listening can help your child feel more secure.

As the school year begins, let’s normalize conversations about mental health. Encourage students to speak up if they’re struggling. Support each other with empathy and patience. And most importantly, know that it’s okay to ask for help, whether from a counselor, teacher, parent, or peer.

School is more than just grades; it’s about growth, and growth is never linear. By putting mental health at the forefront, we set ourselves up not just for academic success but for a healthier and more balanced life.

Written by Antonio Garland, Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern #4363

Filed Under: Anxiety, Children, Children counseling, Depression, empower, Family, family counseling, Inspire, Mental Health, Psychotherapy, teens

Getting the Relationship You Both Want (Not Just the One You’ve Settled Into)

August 15, 2025 by

Most couples don’t fall apart because they stopped loving each other.

They fall apart because they stopped feeling seen, heard, or safe.

They start walking on eggshells. One shuts down, the other over-functions. Intimacy fades. Conversations turn into silent battles or circular arguments that never resolve anything. Somewhere along the way, the relationship becomes more about surviving than thriving.

But love isn’t supposed to feel like a constant negotiation.

It’s supposed to feel like a partnership.

The truth is, no one teaches us how to do relationships well. We bring our childhood wounds, our unspoken fears, and our unmet needs into our adult relationships and then wonder why things feel so hard.

Healing begins when both people feel safe enough to be honest—not just about what’s not working, but about why they react the way they do.

That’s where the real work begins:

  • Understanding your patterns, not just judging them.
  • Learning to listen without defending.
  • Speaking your truth without shutting the other person down.
  • Rebuilding trust, even if it’s been slowly eroding for years.
  • Creating connection, not just co-existence.

Couples don’t need more date nights. They need deeper understanding. They need tools to de-escalate conflict, to repair faster, and to show up with vulnerability instead of resentment.

There is a path back to each other. Even if things feel distant. Even if you’ve tried before. Even if you’re not sure it’s possible anymore.

If you’re ready to break the cycle and build the kind of relationship you both deserve, I’d love to work with you.
Through deep subconscious healing and a proven toolbox of strategies, I help couples move beyond surface-level fixes to create real, lasting change. Together, we’ll uncover the hidden patterns driving disconnection—and build stronger communication, deeper emotional safety, and a renewed sense of partnership.

Written by Kellie Hatch, Registered Mental Health Intern #26644

Kellie Hatch’s Website – https://www.naples-therapists.com/

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Couples/Marriage, honesty, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, marriage, Mental Health, Self-Worth, Sexual Health

Grief Is Not Linear

August 8, 2025 by

Grief: Graduate Student Perspective
Everyone has experienced some level of grief at some point in their lives. Grief can be tricky because it is mainly associated with death. Did you know that grief is not limited to death, but is
a result of different types of significant loss? Grief can be the loss of friendships, relationships, jobs, pets, etc.

Stages of Grief
Grief is presented in five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Identifying a specific stage can be challenging, as some individuals can experience more than one stage. When an individual is experiencing denial, they may experience shock, disbelief, and numbness, and may experience anger towards themselves, others, and even the deceased. Individuals experiencing bargaining may state, “Where is God in this/ How dare God let this happen!” The depression stage can display as “Why go on at all?” Lastly, acceptance consists of acknowledging the loss and adapting to life.

Theories/Techniques
Combining existential and cognitive behavioral therapy can be useful when dealing with grief. Maybe you or someone you know has had difficulty rediscovering their purpose. Existential focuses on redefining purpose by implementing these techniques: the empty chair method, reframing, self-reflection, exploring meaning and purpose, encouraging responsibility, and focusing on the present.

CBT focuses on identifying and reframing negative thoughts. Depending on the situation, individuals may experience survivor’s guilt. Statements like “I wish it were me instead of them,”
or “Things would have been different if I had…” are examples of negative thinking. CBT helps the individual understand their thought process and establish healthier ways of thinking and
coping. Allowing space for addressing guilt and regret is necessary; however, understanding the underlying factors behind their guilt and shame is essential to shift to positive thinking. Shifting
from “I wish it were me instead of them” to “I am hurt that they are no longer with us.” There are other techniques like journaling, mindfulness, and social support.

Coping with Grief
Grief looks different to everyone, meaning coping strategies and healing stages may vary. When dealing with grief, it is important to prioritize self-care, engage in meaningful activities, create
rituals and memorialize, be patient with yourself, acknowledge and accept your feelings, and seek support.

Written by Jasmine Robinson, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, empower, Family, Grief, healing, Mental Health

Reauthoring Your Life: The Transformative Power of Narrative Therapy

July 18, 2025 by

We are all storytellers. From the moment we begin to make sense of the world, we craft narratives about who we are, what we’re capable of, and what our experiences mean. Yet sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves become limiting—creating boundaries that confine rather than possibilities that liberate.

This is where narrative therapy shines. Developed by Michael White and David Epston in the 1980s, narrative therapy recognizes that we are not our problems, and our problems are not us. Instead, our challenges exist in the narratives we’ve constructed or inherited about ourselves.

Through narrative therapy, we learn to externalize problems—to see them not as inherent character flaws but as stories that can be rewritten. When we say, “Anxiety is affecting my life” rather than “I am an anxious person,” we create space between ourselves and the problem. In that space lies freedom.

The process of reauthoring our lives begins with simple awareness. What stories do you tell yourself about your capabilities, your worth, your future? Once identified, these narratives can be examined, questioned, and ultimately transformed.

Importantly, narrative therapy doesn’t dismiss our struggles but reframes them as opportunities for growth. Every challenge becomes a plot twist rather than an ending. Every setback becomes a chapter rather than the whole book.

By identifying “unique outcomes”—those moments when the problem doesn’t dominate—we discover evidence of alternative storylines already present in our lives. These exceptions form the foundation of new, more empowering narratives.

At Sage & Lore, we believe in the power of story to heal and transform. When you turn the page and write your own story, you quite literally change your life.

What page are you turning today?

Written by Petra Wilkes, Registered Mental Health and Marriage and Family Intern #IMH25031

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Couples/Marriage, Depression, empower, Family, healing, honesty, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, Mental Health, Narrative Therapy, Psychotherapy, Self-Worth, Women Empowerment

Healing Through Communication: A Call to Counselors Supporting Troubled Teens

July 11, 2025 by

Every day, troubled teens walk into our counseling spaces carrying the silent weight of trauma—abuse, neglect, broken trust, and emotional wounds invisible to the eye. As counselors, we hold a sacred opportunity: to speak life into places where pain has tried to silence hope.

Healing starts with communication. It’s not just what we say; it’s how we listen. Active listening, open-ended questions, and creating safe, judgment-free environments are not just techniques—they are lifelines. When we truly hear a young person’s story, without rushing to fix or diagnose, we honor their dignity and invite healing to begin.

In my journey through counseling, I’ve seen firsthand the power of integrating faith with practice. Scripture reminds us: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3, NIV). When we weave biblical principles of hope, redemption, and restoration into our sessions, we offer not just therapeutic tools—but a vision of a future rooted in grace.

Consider Joy, a teenager struggling under the weight of cultural identity pressures and family strain. Through intentional communication and a focus on trust-building, her family began to heal alongside her. Or David, who carried deep shame after trauma until sessions rooted in forgiveness and God’s promises helped him reclaim his sense of worth.

Evidence backs what many of us have witnessed: open communication and peer support significantly increase a teen’s feelings of safety, resilience, and engagement in their healing journey. As counselors, we are not merely therapists—we are builders of bridges back to hope. If you are standing in the gap for hurting youth today, be encouraged: your listening ear, your empathetic heart, your faith-infused words—they matter. Never underestimate the power of communication anchored in compassion and truth. A young life’s tomorrow may be forever changed because you chose to show up with both skill and soul.

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Depression, EMDR Therapy, empower, faith, Family, healing, honesty, Mental Health, Psychotherapy, Self-Worth, teens

Craving Closeness & Connections

July 4, 2025 by

As humans, we crave the closeness and connections that come with having someone around, whether it is a friend or romantic partner. Have you ever wondered why some people seem naturally secure in relationships, while others struggle with trust, intimacy, or independence? The answer may lie in attachment styles, a concept rooted in psychology that explains how we relate to others, especially in close relationships. Attachment styles are the foundation of our human connections and our capacity to be there for one another. This creates meaningful attachments and memories with others and our lives. However, with closeness and letting our guards down comes the fear of making connections with others and being vulnerable. Whether that is due to past experiences or our insecurities coming out and influencing us, it can be hard. Understanding your attachment style can help you gain insight into yourself and foster meaningful, deep relationships. You might be thinking to yourself, “Well, how do I start?”. The first step in combating an unhealthy attachment style is to learn about the attachment style you have. As many people say, knowing is half the battle. The 4 attachment styles are anxious, fearful-avoidant, avoidant, and secure. You can take this quiz to see which style you have (Attachment Style Quiz: Free & Fast Attachment Style Test). Now that you know which attachment style you have, it is time for step 2, which will happen without you having to try too hard. It is being aware of how our own experiences are influencing our behaviors now. Then it comes down to making changes to positively influence your life based on those observations. I know what you are thinking, “How do I make that change?”. Don’t worry, it can seem daunting, but once you start seeing it, the change has already started. Trust in your intuition and have faith that you will become the best version of yourself as long as you continue to challenge your ways of thinking.

Written by Tiya Delson, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

Ainsworth, M.D.S., Blehar, M.C., Waters, E. & Wall, S. (1978) Patterns of Attachment. A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Hillsdale, NJ: LEA.

Levy, M. B., & Davis, K. E. (1988). Lovestyles and attachment styles compared: Their relations to each other and to various relationship characteristics. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 5(4), 439–471. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407588054004 

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, empower, Intimacy, love, marriage, Men's Issues, Mental Health, Self-Worth, Women Empowerment, Women's Issues

Yoga and Psychotherapy

June 27, 2025 by

In recent years, more people are turning to holistic approaches to improve their mental health. One powerful combination gaining attention is the integration of yoga and psychotherapy. While these two practices may seem unrelated at first glance, they actually complement each other in meaningful and transformative ways.

Traditional talk therapy helps people make sense of their thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships. It offers a safe space to explore past experiences, process trauma, navigate anxiety or depression, and work toward greater self-understanding. But as anyone who has struggled with overwhelming emotions or persistent stress knows, our minds and bodies are deeply connected. What we think and feel doesn’t just stay in our heads, it shows up in our posture, our breath, our muscles, and our nervous system. This is where yoga comes in. Yoga, especially when practiced with awareness, is more than
just exercise. It teaches us to tune into the body, breathe with intention, and notice what’s happening in the present moment. When combined with psychotherapy, yoga can help people move through emotional blocks, ground themselves in the here and now, and develop a deeper sense of self-compassion. It can also be a powerful tool for regulating the nervous system, particularly for those recovering from trauma or living with chronic stress.

In therapy, we often talk about feelings, but many of us struggle to feel those emotions fully—especially if we’ve been taught to suppress or avoid them. Yoga provides a safe and structured way to begin reconnecting with the body, which is often where those emotions are stored. Simple breathing exercises or mindful movement can help bring awareness to areas of tension or numbness, gently inviting us to notice and release what we’ve been holding onto, often without even realizing it. For people living with anxiety, yoga’s emphasis on slow, steady breathing and present-moment awareness can be
grounding and soothing. It helps interrupt the cycle of racing thoughts and allows space for the body to relax, which in turn can support clearer thinking and emotional resilience. For those dealing with depression or grief, the gentle movement of yoga can help awaken the body and mind from a state of stagnation.

Ultimately, combining yoga and psychotherapy is about honoring the wisdom of both the mind and the body. It recognizes that healing isn’t just an intellectual process—it’s also physical, emotional, and even spiritual. Whether you’re working through trauma, managing stress, or simply trying to live more intentionally, this integrative approach can offer a powerful path toward balance and wholeness.

Written by Sophie Gengler, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, empower, Inspire, kindness, love, Mental Health, Psychotherapy, Self-Worth, Yoga

Understanding and Preventing Burnout: Tips for Restoring Balance and Well-Being

June 20, 2025 by

Have you ever felt tired, lost a sense of purpose, or felt like nothing you do matter at your job? If so, then you experiencing some form of burnout. Burnout is a state of exhaustion that
comes from prolonged stress. This can come in the form of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. Burnout is usually associated with a job but this can happen to caregivers and
stay-at-home parents as well.

Burnout comes from not properly taking care of or managing life stressors. This usually comes in the form of not maintaining a proper work/life balance, not resting properly, or not
managing stress in healthy ways. Burnout can cause people to get irritable or use substances to help deal with the stress. These options can lead a person to make other choices that can either
ruin relationships or get into legal trouble, or both. With this in mind, people must learn to deal with burnout before it gets out of hand.

One of the important ways to prevent burnout is to have proper boundaries with your job or the people you care for. These boundaries help ensure that you can maintain a proper work/life
balance. This can include setting boundaries around what your working hours are or the expectations for returning messages. For stay-at-home parents, boundaries can include working
with your partner to create boundaries about daily schedules or when certain chores should be done. Boundaries can be difficult to enforce at first, but with practice, you can improve and
discover how setting boundaries can reduce stress. Another important thing to consider is taking proper rest. Rest is important to ensure that not only that you in a good state of mind but to help
maintain your physical health as well. This can include getting enough sleep or taking vacations.

Burnout is something that can sneak up on you when you don’t take care of yourself. If you feel like your experiencing burnout then you need to do something about. You start with
trying some of the things mentioned here. Another great option is to seek help from a counselor. A mental health counselor can help you figure out ways to better to manage stress to reduce
burnout. If you feel like you need then get the help you need the sooner the better. It is never to late to start taking better care of yourself.

Written by Nicholas Pujol, Registered Mental Health Intern #27522

Filed Under: Depression, empower, Mental Health, Self-Worth

Celebrating Mental Health Awareness Month: Why It Matters More Than Ever

May 16, 2025 by

May marks Mental Health Awareness Month, an essential observance that highlights the importance of mental health and encourages a conversation about mental illnesses, promoting strategies for achieving mental health and wellness. Given the challenges we’ve all faced during recent times—pandemics, social
unrest, economic uncertainties—this month’s observance feels more urgent than ever. It’s a call to pause, reflect, and engage in meaningful dialogue about mental health.

Understanding Mental Health
Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Positive mental health allows people to realize their full potential, cope with the stresses of life, work productively, and make meaningful contributions to their communities.

However, when we talk about mental health, it’s crucial to address the stigma that often surrounds mental health issues. Stigma can lead to discrimination and can be one of the biggest hurdles that prevent people from seeking help. Mental Health Awareness Month serves as a reminder that mental health is as important as physical health and deserves the same quality of support and care.

This Year’s Theme
Each year, Mental Health Awareness Month includes a theme to bring focus to specific issues. For instance, recent themes have focused on tools and resources that can help people manage stress, cope with uncertainty, and recognize signs of mental health issues early on. Themes aim to make mental health care accessible and approachable for everyone, reinforcing that it’s okay to seek help.

How You Can Participate
There are many ways to observe Mental Health Awareness Month, whether you’re looking to engage on a personal level or help raise awareness in your community. Here are a few suggestions:

Educate Yourself and Others: Learn about mental health issues through credible sources and share this knowledge to help reduce stigma. Knowledge empowers people to seek help without fear of judgment.
Share Your Story: If you’re comfortable, sharing your mental health journey can inspire others to do the same and contribute significantly to dismantling stigma.
Advocate for Policy Change: Support local and national mental health advocacy groups that push for policies improving mental health services. Advocacy can lead to substantial changes in how services are provided and funded.

Promote Social Media Awareness: Use your social media platforms to spread awareness by sharing posts, articles, and videos about mental health. Use relevant hashtags to increase the reach of your messages.
Check-In on Loved Ones: Sometimes, a simple conversation asking “How are you really feeling?” can make a big difference. Check in on friends, family, and even colleagues.

Resources and Support
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, several resources are available:

National Helplines: Organizations like National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) offer helplines where you can find support and advice.
Local Mental Health Services: Search for local clinics and therapists that offer tailored mental health care.
Online Platforms: Websites and apps designed for mental health can offer tools and resources to help manage your mental well-being.

A Final Word
Mental Health Awareness Month is more than just a monthly observance. It is an ongoing commitment to creating a healthier, more compassionate society where we can talk openly about mental health issues and support each other in times of need. Let’s use this month to spread kindness, offer support, and make every effort to understand the complex world of mental health.

Written by Sherline Herard, MH24002 Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, Depression, EMDR Therapy, empower, Inspire, Mental Health