The Exhaustion of Never Being Enough
Getting the Relationship You Both Want (Not Just the One You’ve Settled Into)
Most couples don’t fall apart because they stopped loving each other.
They fall apart because they stopped feeling seen, heard, or safe.
They start walking on eggshells. One shuts down, the other over-functions. Intimacy fades. Conversations turn into silent battles or circular arguments that never resolve anything. Somewhere along the way, the relationship becomes more about surviving than thriving.
But love isn’t supposed to feel like a constant negotiation.
It’s supposed to feel like a partnership.
The truth is, no one teaches us how to do relationships well. We bring our childhood wounds, our unspoken fears, and our unmet needs into our adult relationships and then wonder why things feel so hard.
Healing begins when both people feel safe enough to be honest—not just about what’s not working, but about why they react the way they do.
That’s where the real work begins:
- Understanding your patterns, not just judging them.
- Learning to listen without defending.
- Speaking your truth without shutting the other person down.
- Rebuilding trust, even if it’s been slowly eroding for years.
- Creating connection, not just co-existence.
Couples don’t need more date nights. They need deeper understanding. They need tools to de-escalate conflict, to repair faster, and to show up with vulnerability instead of resentment.
There is a path back to each other. Even if things feel distant. Even if you’ve tried before. Even if you’re not sure it’s possible anymore.
If you’re ready to break the cycle and build the kind of relationship you both deserve, I’d love to work with you.
Through deep subconscious healing and a proven toolbox of strategies, I help couples move beyond surface-level fixes to create real, lasting change. Together, we’ll uncover the hidden patterns driving disconnection—and build stronger communication, deeper emotional safety, and a renewed sense of partnership.
Written by Kellie Hatch, Registered Mental Health Intern #26644
Kellie Hatch’s Website – https://www.naples-therapists.com/
Reauthoring Your Life: The Transformative Power of Narrative Therapy
We are all storytellers. From the moment we begin to make sense of the world, we craft narratives about who we are, what we’re capable of, and what our experiences mean. Yet sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves become limiting—creating boundaries that confine rather than possibilities that liberate.
This is where narrative therapy shines. Developed by Michael White and David Epston in the 1980s, narrative therapy recognizes that we are not our problems, and our problems are not us. Instead, our challenges exist in the narratives we’ve constructed or inherited about ourselves.
Through narrative therapy, we learn to externalize problems—to see them not as inherent character flaws but as stories that can be rewritten. When we say, “Anxiety is affecting my life” rather than “I am an anxious person,” we create space between ourselves and the problem. In that space lies freedom.
The process of reauthoring our lives begins with simple awareness. What stories do you tell yourself about your capabilities, your worth, your future? Once identified, these narratives can be examined, questioned, and ultimately transformed.
Importantly, narrative therapy doesn’t dismiss our struggles but reframes them as opportunities for growth. Every challenge becomes a plot twist rather than an ending. Every setback becomes a chapter rather than the whole book.
By identifying “unique outcomes”—those moments when the problem doesn’t dominate—we discover evidence of alternative storylines already present in our lives. These exceptions form the foundation of new, more empowering narratives.
At Sage & Lore, we believe in the power of story to heal and transform. When you turn the page and write your own story, you quite literally change your life.
What page are you turning today?
Written by Petra Wilkes, Registered Mental Health and Marriage and Family Intern #IMH25031
Healing Through Communication: A Call to Counselors Supporting Troubled Teens
Every day, troubled teens walk into our counseling spaces carrying the silent weight of trauma—abuse, neglect, broken trust, and emotional wounds invisible to the eye. As counselors, we hold a sacred opportunity: to speak life into places where pain has tried to silence hope.
Healing starts with communication. It’s not just what we say; it’s how we listen. Active listening, open-ended questions, and creating safe, judgment-free environments are not just techniques—they are lifelines. When we truly hear a young person’s story, without rushing to fix or diagnose, we honor their dignity and invite healing to begin.
In my journey through counseling, I’ve seen firsthand the power of integrating faith with practice. Scripture reminds us: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3, NIV). When we weave biblical principles of hope, redemption, and restoration into our sessions, we offer not just therapeutic tools—but a vision of a future rooted in grace.
Consider Joy, a teenager struggling under the weight of cultural identity pressures and family strain. Through intentional communication and a focus on trust-building, her family began to heal alongside her. Or David, who carried deep shame after trauma until sessions rooted in forgiveness and God’s promises helped him reclaim his sense of worth.
Evidence backs what many of us have witnessed: open communication and peer support significantly increase a teen’s feelings of safety, resilience, and engagement in their healing journey. As counselors, we are not merely therapists—we are builders of bridges back to hope. If you are standing in the gap for hurting youth today, be encouraged: your listening ear, your empathetic heart, your faith-infused words—they matter. Never underestimate the power of communication anchored in compassion and truth. A young life’s tomorrow may be forever changed because you chose to show up with both skill and soul.
Craving Closeness & Connections
As humans, we crave the closeness and connections that come with having someone around, whether it is a friend or romantic partner. Have you ever wondered why some people seem naturally secure in relationships, while others struggle with trust, intimacy, or independence? The answer may lie in attachment styles, a concept rooted in psychology that explains how we relate to others, especially in close relationships. Attachment styles are the foundation of our human connections and our capacity to be there for one another. This creates meaningful attachments and memories with others and our lives. However, with closeness and letting our guards down comes the fear of making connections with others and being vulnerable. Whether that is due to past experiences or our insecurities coming out and influencing us, it can be hard. Understanding your attachment style can help you gain insight into yourself and foster meaningful, deep relationships. You might be thinking to yourself, “Well, how do I start?”. The first step in combating an unhealthy attachment style is to learn about the attachment style you have. As many people say, knowing is half the battle. The 4 attachment styles are anxious, fearful-avoidant, avoidant, and secure. You can take this quiz to see which style you have (Attachment Style Quiz: Free & Fast Attachment Style Test). Now that you know which attachment style you have, it is time for step 2, which will happen without you having to try too hard. It is being aware of how our own experiences are influencing our behaviors now. Then it comes down to making changes to positively influence your life based on those observations. I know what you are thinking, “How do I make that change?”. Don’t worry, it can seem daunting, but once you start seeing it, the change has already started. Trust in your intuition and have faith that you will become the best version of yourself as long as you continue to challenge your ways of thinking.
Written by Tiya Delson, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health
Ainsworth, M.D.S., Blehar, M.C., Waters, E. & Wall, S. (1978) Patterns of Attachment. A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Hillsdale, NJ: LEA.
Levy, M. B., & Davis, K. E. (1988). Lovestyles and attachment styles compared: Their relations to each other and to various relationship characteristics. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 5(4), 439–471. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407588054004
Yoga and Psychotherapy
In recent years, more people are turning to holistic approaches to improve their mental health. One powerful combination gaining attention is the integration of yoga and psychotherapy. While these two practices may seem unrelated at first glance, they actually complement each other in meaningful and transformative ways.
Traditional talk therapy helps people make sense of their thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships. It offers a safe space to explore past experiences, process trauma, navigate anxiety or depression, and work toward greater self-understanding. But as anyone who has struggled with overwhelming emotions or persistent stress knows, our minds and bodies are deeply connected. What we think and feel doesn’t just stay in our heads, it shows up in our posture, our breath, our muscles, and our nervous system. This is where yoga comes in. Yoga, especially when practiced with awareness, is more than
just exercise. It teaches us to tune into the body, breathe with intention, and notice what’s happening in the present moment. When combined with psychotherapy, yoga can help people move through emotional blocks, ground themselves in the here and now, and develop a deeper sense of self-compassion. It can also be a powerful tool for regulating the nervous system, particularly for those recovering from trauma or living with chronic stress.
In therapy, we often talk about feelings, but many of us struggle to feel those emotions fully—especially if we’ve been taught to suppress or avoid them. Yoga provides a safe and structured way to begin reconnecting with the body, which is often where those emotions are stored. Simple breathing exercises or mindful movement can help bring awareness to areas of tension or numbness, gently inviting us to notice and release what we’ve been holding onto, often without even realizing it. For people living with anxiety, yoga’s emphasis on slow, steady breathing and present-moment awareness can be
grounding and soothing. It helps interrupt the cycle of racing thoughts and allows space for the body to relax, which in turn can support clearer thinking and emotional resilience. For those dealing with depression or grief, the gentle movement of yoga can help awaken the body and mind from a state of stagnation.
Ultimately, combining yoga and psychotherapy is about honoring the wisdom of both the mind and the body. It recognizes that healing isn’t just an intellectual process—it’s also physical, emotional, and even spiritual. Whether you’re working through trauma, managing stress, or simply trying to live more intentionally, this integrative approach can offer a powerful path toward balance and wholeness.
Written by Sophie Gengler, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health
Understanding and Preventing Burnout: Tips for Restoring Balance and Well-Being
Have you ever felt tired, lost a sense of purpose, or felt like nothing you do matter at your job? If so, then you experiencing some form of burnout. Burnout is a state of exhaustion that
comes from prolonged stress. This can come in the form of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. Burnout is usually associated with a job but this can happen to caregivers and
stay-at-home parents as well.
Burnout comes from not properly taking care of or managing life stressors. This usually comes in the form of not maintaining a proper work/life balance, not resting properly, or not
managing stress in healthy ways. Burnout can cause people to get irritable or use substances to help deal with the stress. These options can lead a person to make other choices that can either
ruin relationships or get into legal trouble, or both. With this in mind, people must learn to deal with burnout before it gets out of hand.
One of the important ways to prevent burnout is to have proper boundaries with your job or the people you care for. These boundaries help ensure that you can maintain a proper work/life
balance. This can include setting boundaries around what your working hours are or the expectations for returning messages. For stay-at-home parents, boundaries can include working
with your partner to create boundaries about daily schedules or when certain chores should be done. Boundaries can be difficult to enforce at first, but with practice, you can improve and
discover how setting boundaries can reduce stress. Another important thing to consider is taking proper rest. Rest is important to ensure that not only that you in a good state of mind but to help
maintain your physical health as well. This can include getting enough sleep or taking vacations.
Burnout is something that can sneak up on you when you don’t take care of yourself. If you feel like your experiencing burnout then you need to do something about. You start with
trying some of the things mentioned here. Another great option is to seek help from a counselor. A mental health counselor can help you figure out ways to better to manage stress to reduce
burnout. If you feel like you need then get the help you need the sooner the better. It is never to late to start taking better care of yourself.
Written by Nicholas Pujol, Registered Mental Health Intern #27522
How to Heal After Divorce: 5 Steps Toward Wholeness
Divorce can feel like an emotional earthquake—one that shakes the foundation of your identity, relationships, and future. But healing is not only possible—it’s powerful. This chapter of your life may have closed, but a new one is ready to begin. Here are five meaningful steps to help you heal and rediscover your strength after divorce:
- Allow Yourself to Grieve
Grief isn’t just for death. Divorce is the loss of dreams, routines, and the person you thought you’d grow old with. Give yourself permission to feel—whether it’s sadness, anger, confusion, or even relief. Suppressing emotions only delays healing. Feel it to free it. - Reclaim Your Identity
During marriage, it’s easy to lose parts of yourself—your passions, routines, even your voice. Healing begins with rediscovery. Ask yourself: What did I love before the relationship? What excites me now? Take small steps toward activities that remind you who you are. - Set Boundaries for Emotional Safety
Whether you’re co-parenting or managing mutual friends, clear boundaries are crucial. You don’t owe anyone access to your healing process. Prioritize your peace by limiting interactions that drain you or pull you back into past patterns. - Surround Yourself with Support
Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Seek out safe spaces—friends, support groups, or a therapist—where you can speak freely without judgment. You’re not alone in your pain, and you don’t have to walk this path solo. - Rewrite the Narrative
It’s easy to blame yourself or get stuck in regret. Instead, ask: What did this experience teach me about love, boundaries, and self-worth? Healing isn’t about erasing the past—it’s about transforming it. Let it be the soil for new growth.
You are not broken. You are becoming. And the version of you that rises from this will be wiser, stronger, and more beautifully aligned with the love you truly deserve.
Your new beginning starts now. Reach out today to get started.
Written by Kellie Hatch, Registered Mental Health Intern #26644
Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself First to Love Others Fully
Valentine’s Day is HERE! Whether you’re spending it with a special someone, or friends, or flying solo, it’s all good! But how can we make this day a great day? Well, we’ve all heard that classic piece of advice: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Rom 13:9). But here’s the kicker—“as yourself.” It’s hard to give love to others if you’re not showing yourself the same care and kindness first. Our mental health plays a huge role in this, and when we neglect it, we can lose sight of who we are and who we love.
So, as we get ready for the big day, why not check in with yourself? How can you feel truly rested and loved? Maybe it’s enjoying a delicious meal, unwinding in a relaxing bath, or getting lost in a good book at your favorite park. The key is to focus on one thing at a time and be
present in the moment.
If you’re spending the day with someone special, remember that it’s not about how much you spend but the quality of the time you share. As the Bible says, “Love cannot result in any harm to the neighbor” (Rom 13:10). It’s all about selfless giving, trust, and open communication in a relationship—these are the building blocks of the love we all seek.
So… let’s make this a day full of love for yourself and others!
Written by Juan Cubillos, Graduate Student in Clinical Mental Health
Embracing Sexual Well-Being: A Guide to Sexual Mental Health
Embracing Sexual Well-Being: A Guide to Sexual Mental Health
Sexual health is an integral part of overall well-being, encompassing physical, emotional, mental, and social dimensions. Yet, discussions around sexual and mental health often remain taboo, leaving many individuals without the knowledge and support they need. This blog aims to shed light on the importance of sexual mental health, offering insights and tips for cultivating a healthy and fulfilling sexual life.
Understanding Sexual Mental Health
Sexual mental health refers to a state of well-being in which an individual experiences positive and respectful relationships, has the ability to enjoy and express their sexuality, and feels free from discrimination, coercion, and violence. It involves:
Self-Esteem and Body Image: Feeling confident and comfortable in your own body.
Communication and Consent: Being able to communicate your needs and boundaries and respecting those of others.
Emotional Connection: Building and maintaining healthy emotional connections with partners.
Healthy Sexual Function: Experiencing sexual activities that are pleasurable and free from dysfunction or pain.
Common Sexual Mental Health Concerns
1. Performance Anxiety
Causes: Fear of not meeting expectations, past negative experiences, and societal pressures.
Impact: Can lead to erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or difficulty achieving orgasm.
2. Body Image Issues
Causes: Media portrayals of “ideal” bodies, societal standards, and personal insecurities.
Impact: Can reduce sexual desire, confidence, and satisfaction.
3. Lack of Desire or Libido
Causes: Stress, hormonal imbalances, relationship issues, mental health disorders.
Impact: Can affect personal well-being and relationship dynamics.
4. Trauma and PTSD
Causes: Past experiences of sexual abuse or assault.
Impact: This can lead to anxiety, avoidance of sexual activity, and emotional distress.
5. Relationship Issues
Causes: Poor communication, unresolved conflicts, lack of intimacy.
Impact: This can create emotional distance and reduce sexual satisfaction.
Tips for Improving Sexual Mental Health
1. Open Communication
Practice Honest Conversations: Discuss your desires, boundaries, and concerns with your partner.
Seek Understanding: Be willing to listen and empathize with your partner’s perspective.
2. Focus on Self-Esteem and Body Positivity
Self-Acceptance: Embrace your body as it is and recognize your unique beauty.
Positive Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to boost your self-esteem and body image.
3. Manage Stress and Anxiety
Mindfulness and Meditation: Practice mindfulness to stay present and reduce anxiety.
Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or yoga into your routine.
4. Seek Professional Help
Therapists and Counselors: Consult with a mental health professional specializing in sexual health.
Support Groups: Join support groups to connect with others facing similar issues.
5. Educate Yourself
Read and Learn: Educate yourself about sexual health and well-being through books, articles, and reputable online resources.
Stay Informed: Keep up to date with the latest research and findings in sexual health.
6. Create a Healthy Lifestyle
Exercise Regularly: Physical activity can boost mood and improve body image.
Balanced Diet: Maintain a healthy diet to support overall well-being.
Adequate Sleep: Ensure you get enough rest to manage stress and maintain energy levels.
Resources for Sexual Mental Health
Books: “Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoski and “The Guide to Getting It On!” by Paul Joannides are excellent resources for understanding sexual health.
Websites: Planned Parenthood and the American Sexual Health Association (ASHA) offer valuable information and resources.
Apps: Apps like “MJoy” and “Rosy” provide educational content and tools for enhancing sexual well-being.
Conclusion
Sexual mental health is a vital component of overall health and happiness. By addressing concerns such as performance anxiety, body image issues, and lack of desire, and by fostering open communication, self-esteem, and professional support, you can enhance your sexual well-being. Remember, everyone deserves a healthy and fulfilling sexual life. Embrace your sexuality, educate yourself, and seek the support you need to thrive.
By prioritizing your sexual and mental health, you can build stronger relationships, boost your confidence, and experience greater satisfaction in all areas of your life.
Written by Jennifer Freel, Registered Mental Health Intern IMH26129