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You Are Not Alone

Suicidal ideation is a medical term used to describe when someone has begun having thoughts about committing suicide. Sometimes these thoughts might be fleeting in nature, and other times the thoughts may persist until the individual begins to formulate a plan.

According to recent data, suicide is the third leading cause of death among people aged 15 and 24 years. And suicide accounts for 1% of deaths in America.

Suicide has a ripple effect. In fact, the American Association of Suicidology estimates that each suicide intimately affects at least six other people.

Thoughts of suicide are usually a result of prolonged depression, severe anxiety, insomnia, panic attacks, and feelings of hopelessness. Not all people diagnosed with these conditions become suicidal; however, many people who experience suicidal ideation do not die by suicide, though they may exhibit suicidal behavior and even make an attempt.

What is a Crisis Intervention?

Crisis intervention is a short-term emergency response to someone who is experiencing intense emotional or mental distress. This form of therapy is an effective way of restoring the person’s equilibrium and biopsychosocial functioning. Doing so reduces the potential for long-term trauma.

Crisis interventions are typically conducted by trained and certified crisis intervention counselors that work at hospitals, drug rehab centers, and mental health clinics. These trained mental health workers do not provide typical cognitive-behavioral treatments or anything on a long-term basis. Instead, they offer short-term interventions to help their clients become stable.

Therapy After Crisis Intervention 

People don’t become suicidal overnight. There were days, weeks, and months of struggling with stress, depression, trauma, and/or anxiety to get to that place. Once and only when the initial crisis has been fully remediated, and once the initial crisis therapy has occurred, it will be important for the individual to receive continued mental health care. This will help the individual identify the underlying causes of their suicidal ideation.

 

If you or someone you love is thinking about suicide, please seek immediate attention.

Written by Sherline Herard

About the writer: Sherline graduated from Florida Gulf Coast University with a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology and a Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling from Nova Southeastern University. Sherline’s therapeutic approach is catered to each individual client’s needs. Sherline enjoys assisting clients in finding their strengths which reside within, in order to set achievable goals for their lives.

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How Sex Therapy Can Lead to More Intimacy

A relationship requires different things to thrive. Good communication is necessary, as is mutual respect and compromise. But one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship is a sense of intimacy between each other. While intimacy can be fostered through communication, there is really no better avenue to it than a loving sexual relationship.

Often, when people are having trouble in the bedroom, their sense of intimacy takes a significant hit. That’s why it is recommended that couples seek the guidance of a sex therapist.

What is Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that can help couples address any issues they may be having in their sex life. The goal of sex therapy is to assist individuals to move past any physical, emotional, or psychological challenges they may be facing to enjoy healthy and satisfying sex life.

Symptoms of Sexual Dysfunction

Sexual dysfunction is more common than you might realize. In fact, 43% of women and 31% of men have reported experiencing some form of a sexual issue during their life.

Some of the most common symptoms of sexual dysfunction are:

  • Erectile dysfunction
  • Low or no libido
  • Premature ejaculation
  • No interest in sex
  • Low self-esteem
  • Lack of response to sexual stimulus
  • An inability to reach orgasm
  • Distressing sexual thoughts
  • Unwanted sexual fetishes

Sex therapy can help individuals address and change their behavior, leading to increased sexual satisfaction.

How Does Sex Therapy Work?

The term sex therapy conjures up all sorts of scenarios in a person’s mind! But the reality is, this therapy is like other forms of talk therapy where you share your experiences, feelings, and concerns.

In a safe and nonjudgmental setting, a couple can openly discuss any sexual issues with their therapist, who then offers coping strategies to help improve communication and sexual responses.

A qualified sex therapist is not there to take anyone’s side or show the couple how to have sex. He or she is there to facilitate understanding, development, and ultimate healing so that intimacy can be reestablished between the couple. If your therapist suspects your sexual issues stem from a physical condition, they will refer you to a medical doctor.

Sex Therapy Benefits

Sex therapy can help establish intimacy because it:

  • Strengthens communication. Your therapist is there to help you and your partner have uncomfortable conversations.
  • Helps you heal. It is quite common for one or both people in the relationship to have sexual pain or trauma from their past.
  • Cope with performance anxiety. Many men suffer from performance anxiety while many women are unable to let go and reach orgasm.
  • Navigate infidelity. Recovering from infidelity can be incredibly challenging.

Finding a Sex Therapist

Typically, a certified sex therapist is a licensed psychologist, psychiatrist, clinical social worker, or marriage and family therapist. They are specialists who go through rigorous training in human sexuality to become accredited as a sex therapist.

To find one in your area, you may search the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).

If you are in the area and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me so we can discuss how I may help you.

 

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Love is Communication

Let communication be the seed that you water with honesty and love. So that it may produce a happy, fulfilling, and successful relationship.”

-Stephan Labossiere

We should fuel positivity, peace, and love into our loved ones, especially to our partners. Stephan Labossiere quoted it beautifully, couples will experience arguments and disagreements, but how you approach the situation will set it apart from being toxic or unhealthy. Talking through the uncomfortable is how we grow as individuals and as a couple. Creating a safe environment where you both can speak on your feelings through the smallest to the most painful of topics sets the tone for you both to be open to conversation.

The following communication tips can help manage conflict in your relationship:

1. Always listen to your partner, do not listen just to answer.
2. Avoid using hurtful language.
3. Listen actively.
4. Use “I” statements rather than “You” statements to avoid making your partner feel attacked.
5. Speak to each other with respect and love.
6. Validate each other’s feelings.

Communication is key in a relationship to build a stronger and healthier bond for it to flourish and thrive. We all want to feel heard, not talked down or belittled. In a world that is already so cruel and harsh, be each other’s peace. Remember it is not you versus your partner, it is both of you versus the problem.

Speak from your heart to his heart instead of from your mind to his mind.”

– Rori Raye

Written by Rachel Gonzalez

How to Recover from Infidelity

In my time as a marriage counselor, there is probably one statement I have heard more than any other, and that is, “I just don’t think I will ever get over this.” This statement is often said by my clients who have recently learned their spouse has had an affair. The second most common phrase I hear is, “I just don’t think I can ever trust them again.”

The initial shock of infidelity cuts deep. Knowing your partner has broken your trust in such a profound way can completely turn your world upside down.

Whether or not a couple can recover from infidelity depends on the two individuals and the bond they have already built. It also depends on the exact circumstances of the affair. Was it a drunken one-night stand on a business trip or an affair that lasted for years? Were love and intimacy involved, or was it merely a physical occurrence?

What I can tell you is that for those couples who want to try and stay together, it will take work on both of their parts. But healing can happen.

The Recovery Process

Recovery must begin with an absolute ending to the affair. All ties must be cut before the work can begin. Should the affair continue behind the scenes, in my experience, the relationship is very unlikely to succeed.

The second step to recovery is for the deceiver to be able to move past defensiveness and guilt so they make talk openly and transparently about what happened. This is a time when the “guilty” party will have to be humble, acknowledge their wrong-doings, and answer their partner’s questions.

Next, there must be a shared understanding of what led to the affair in the first place. Were there issues in the marriage that led to the affair? If so, these will need to be tackled.

In order for the deceived spouse or partner to be able to begin healing, they will need to feel genuine compassion from their partner for having caused them pain. There is typically a knee-jerk reaction to not want to accept the cheater’s apologies or compassion. This can be seen as a way to “get back.” But understand that doing so only holds you back from healing.

The person that was deceived will also need to explore all of their feelings surrounding the betrayal. Usually shock, rage, fear, sadness, and distrust are the main emotions a person will need to work through.

At a certain point, you both will need to decide whether you will stay together. If you choose to, you will need to work on rebuilding that trust.

As you can see, the process of recovery is a complex one and will require that you work with a marriage counselor to help you navigate the strong emotions involved. But, through commitment and work, many couples can stay together and even have a stronger bond than they did before.

If you would like to seek counseling for infidelity, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

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Taking Therapy

We all talk about going to therapy.  Having to go to therapy can mean going to an in-person session with a therapist in their office or finding a quiet place where you feel safe and comfortable to log on to a secured link for a virtual visit.  But what we may or may not talk about is taking therapy.

It is equally as important to the process of working on our mental health to not only show up for therapy but to take what is learned in therapy with us. The therapeutic process involves building a relationship in which you feel comfortable sharing some of the most uncomfortable aspects of your life or yourself. This can take time, but during this process, there is a lot to be gained as well. The act of speaking your fears, concerns, and troubles aloud allows you to acknowledge them and begin the working phase of therapy.

This phase is what the name implies, work.  But remember, you sought therapy because you wanted to improve how you are feeling.  So, this requires you to be open to change. If everything in your life, including you, remain the same you will have the same problems. This seems simple, but taking the insight gained in therapy back into our day-to-day lives requires us to be mindful and to make new or different choices. This is what it means to take therapy. Taking therapy into each minute of your day and especially into those difficult moments when change is needed the most, it may be work but it may also be fun and restorative!  These changes can lead to relief, more happiness, less stress, and an improved outlook on life. Taking therapy is an investment in your well-being and your future.

The first step is going to therapy, the next step is taking what you learn there back out into the world with you.

Written by April Daniel

Sex Therapy for Intimacy Issues

When people desire to be in a relationship, they are not wanting or needing company or someone to do things with. Most people look for that perfect relationship because they want real, true intimacy in their life. But what is intimacy, really?

Intimacy is NOT the same thing as sex. You can have sex without intimacy.

Intimacy is TRUE and genuine closeness with another human being. It is a connection that is developed over time. While intimacy brings unparalleled joy into our lives, it can also feel incredibly frightening to some people. Because to be intimate means to open yourself up to another human being. It means showing up, flaws and all, and putting in the work.

Ultimately, intimacy is a wonderful byproduct of an emotional connection that has been built over time by two individuals who deeply love and respect each other.

What Does Fear of Intimacy Look Like?

While many people struggle with a fear of intimacy, not everyone knows the signs and symptoms, as they can be mistaken for other emotions.
People who fear intimacy often have low self-esteem and trust issues. They may experience episodes of anger from time to time and have a history of toxic relationships. Many avoid physical contact and are unable to easily share their feelings or express emotions.

How Therapy Can Help

There are a variety of reasons a person may experience fear of intimacy. From childhood trauma to low self-worth and fear of rejection, people from all walks of life, all ages, and all backgrounds have developed a fear of getting close to another person.

If you believe you have a fear of intimacy, sex therapy is a powerful tool that can help you work through any underlying causes. A therapist can help you identify the root of your trouble and help you weed it out. He or she can also help you heal from any past traumas so you can start to get close and connect with others.

The bottom line is, intimacy is a wonderful part of life. To miss out on it would be a tragic shame.

If you’d like to work with someone on your intimacy issues, please reach out to me. I can provide tools and techniques to help you develop a deeper connection with your partner and yourself.

 

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Knowing When to End a Relationship

Relationships can enrich our lives, but they can also cause damage. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or significant other, any relationship comes with its share of challenges. And more often than not, putting in the effort to resolve relational issues can and does result in a healthier bond.

But there are those relationships that, no matter the amount of work and goodwill put into them, will never bring a return on your time or heart investment. These relationships are toxic, and they need to be ended in order for you to heal and move on.

3 Signs the Relationship Needs to End

There are More Negative Interactions Than Positive Ones

Every relationship has its good interactions and its not-so-good ones. But there are those relationships that seem like every interaction is tense and filled with negative emotions. When communication becomes difficult or impossible, the relationship is beyond fixing.

Vastly Different Needs

In the beginning of a new friendship or romance, it’s easy to try and compromise with one another, making certain both person’s needs are being met. Over time, some friends or couples realize their needs are too different.

For instance, in a romantic couple, someone may need more sex than the other. Someone may need to always be in control or have a need to lie. These kinds of clashing needs are a red flag for any relationship.

A Blatant Lack of Respect

Respect is essential in relationships. But sometimes there are those individuals that seem incapable of respecting the other person, their needs, their boundaries, their wishes, etc. These people tend to be on the narcissistic spectrum and are incapable of having empathy or respect for others’ needs.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of signs, but these three are some of the most common and problematic signs.

Letting Go and Moving On

Once you know it is time to end the relationship, you may find that your head and heart waffle back and forth, wondering if you are making the right decision. This is why it’s always a good idea to have someone in your corner you can rely on to give you honest feedback, sound advice, and clarity.

Sometimes you can find this champion in your network of friends and family, but other times it might be best to find a totally neutral third party. Someone you never have to wonder whether they are “just saying that” because they love and care about me.

A therapist can help you navigate your intense emotions and make the best decision for your happiness and peace of mind.

If you are currently struggling in a relationship and would like some help navigating it, please reach out to me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

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