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Attachment and Healing: Why Relationships in Therapy Matter

When we think of therapy, we often imagine sitting across from a kind, quiet professional, talking about our past or processing today’s struggles. But one of the most powerful forces for healing isn’t just the talking — it’s the relationship that forms in the room.

At the heart of many emotional wounds is a story about attachment — how we learned (or didn’t learn) to feel safe, loved, and seen in connection with others. In therapy, we’re given a chance to write a new story.

What Is Attachment?

Attachment is the emotional bond we form with our caregivers early in life. Through this bond, we begin to answer foundational questions:

● Is the world safe?

● Will others show up for me when I’m hurting?

● Is it okay to need, to cry, to ask for help?

● Can I trust love to stay?

When early relationships are secure, we often grow up feeling emotionally balanced, confident, and connected. But when caregivers are inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, overly controlling, or unable to meet our needs, we may carry forward wounds that quietly shape how we relate — not just to others, but to ourselves.

How Attachment Wounds Show Up

Attachment wounds don’t always come from overt trauma. They often live in the small, unspoken patterns of everyday life:

● Feeling like you’re “too much” or “not enough”

● Difficulty trusting others

● Fear of abandonment — or fear of being smothered

● Craving constant reassurance, or pushing people away

● Loneliness, even when you’re in a relationship

● A belief that love must be earned, managed, or controlled

Terms like anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment styles describe these responses —not as flaws, but as adaptive strategies. Your nervous system learned how to protect you, even if it made closeness feel unsafe.

Why Therapy Can Heal Attachment Wounds

Therapy offers something profoundly rare: a consistent, attuned relationship where you’re allowed to be fully human — messy, guarded, emotional, angry, needy, silent — and still be met with warmth and care.

Healing begins when:

● You risk vulnerability and are still accepted

● You express anger or fear and the therapist stays

● You explore shame, grief, or longing without being judged

● You begin to feel worthy — not because you’re perfect, but because you’re you

The therapeutic relationship can become a secure base — a place where your attachment system gently begins to rewire. You learn, over time, that you don’t have to perform, shrink, or disappear to be loved.

What Healing From Attachment Looks Like:

Healing attachment wounds doesn’t mean you’ll never feel anxious, triggered, or scared again. It means:

● You notice those patterns more quickly

● You communicate your needs with more clarity and less fear

● You recognize who feels safe — and who doesn’t

● You offer yourself grace when old wounds resurface

● You create relationships rooted in respect, reciprocity, and emotional safety

You begin to relate — to yourself and others — not from fear or survival, but from self-trust and inner steadiness.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever felt like something is wrong with the way you love or connect, know this: you are not broken. You are a human being who adapted in the best way you could to the relationships and experiences that shaped you.

Therapy doesn’t “fix” you — because you were never broken. It offers you a space to come home to yourself, one session, one relationship, one breath at a time. Your healing is possible — and it begins in relationship.

Written by Jennifer Freel, Registered Mental Health Intern IMH26129

The Therapeutic Power of Cold Exposure

In recent years, cold exposure therapy has gained attention not only among athletes and biohackers, but also within the mental health and wellness communities. While it might seem counterintuitive to voluntarily plunge into icy water or expose the body to freezing temperatures,
a growing body of evidence suggests that cold exposure can be a powerful adjunct to therapeutic practices for both mind and body.

Cold exposure involves deliberately subjecting the body to cold temperatures for short periods, typically through ice baths, cold showers, cryotherapy chambers, or natural bodies of cold water. The idea is not to induce suffering, but rather to activate the body’s adaptive systems
in a controlled and beneficial way.

Research and anecdotal reports have shown that cold exposure can significantly support mental health. One of the key mechanisms is the activation of the sympathetic nervous system and the release of endorphins, dopamine, and norepinephrine. These neurochemicals are
associated with improved mood, increased alertness, and reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety. Cold exposure also promotes resilience. When practiced regularly, it helps individuals build a tolerance to stress—a process called hormesis. This controlled, short-term stress can enhance the body’s ability to manage long-term stressors, making it a useful tool in treating anxiety disorders, PTSD, and chronic stress.

On the physical side, cold exposure reduces inflammation and muscle soreness, making it a common recovery tool for athletes. But its benefits extend further—it can help regulate blood sugar, improve sleep, support immune function, and even increase metabolism through the activation of brown fat. Chronic inflammation has been linked to a wide range of health issues, including autoimmune diseases and depression. Cold therapy’s anti-inflammatory effects can therefore play a role in integrative treatment plans for these conditions.

While cold exposure might seem like a purely physical challenge, the real transformation happens in the brain. The mental health benefits of cold therapy are rooted in powerful shifts in neurochemistry, stress regulation, and brain plasticity. Cold exposure triggers the release of
norepinephrine, a key neurotransmitter involved in focus, attention, and mood regulation. Studies have shown that norepinephrine levels can increase two- to five-fold during cold immersion. This surge helps sharpen mental clarity and boost energy levels. Emerging evidence suggests that cold exposure disrupts the default mode network, the brain system responsible for self-referential thinking, rumination, and mind-wandering. Overactivity in the DMN is commonly observed in depression and anxiety. Cold exposure, particularly to the face or neck (like with cold showers or breath-focused practices), stimulates the vagus nerve—a key player in the parasympathetic nervous system. Improving vagal tone has been shown to enhance emotional regulation, calm the body after stress, and support mental recovery.

Cold exposure is not a cure-all, but it can be a powerful complement to traditional therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), talk therapy, medication, and mindfulness practices. When used mindfully and with guidance—especially for individuals with heart conditions or mental health sensitivities—it can support deeper healing and transformation.

In summary, cold exposure therapy taps into our body’s primal systems to boost resilience, clarity, and well-being. It offers a simple, natural, and surprisingly accessible way to enhance both physical and emotional health, making it a compelling addition to holistic therapy
approaches.

Always consult a healthcare provider before beginning any cold exposure regimen.

Written by Sophie Gengler, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

The Exhaustion of Never Being Enough

How Self-Improvement Culture Hurts Mental Health
 
Everywhere we look, there are messages telling us to be better. Read this book, try that routine! Meditate in the morning, journal before bed. At first, these things can be helpful. But after a while, it can start to feel like a job you can never finish.
 
Self-improvement is often sold as the answer to happiness; however, it can leave people feeling burned out and never good enough. Social media often makes this even worse. We see others showing off their perfect routines and achievements, which can make us feel like we are falling behind. Instead of feeling inspired, we may feel pressured and anxious.
 
Researchers have found that this pressure is connected to perfectionism and burnout. One study showed that people who constantly worry about making mistakes or not measuring up are more likely to feel exhausted and stuck in cycles of negative thinking (Limburg et. al., 2017). Another study found that burnout is often tied to low self-worth, especially when people feel they always need to prove themselves (Carmassi et al., 2025).
 
The problem is not the tools themselves. Meditation, therapy, and journaling can all be extremely powerful tools. The problem comes when growth becomes a race. When every part of life is about improving, rest starts to feel like something you have to earn, instead of something you deserve.
 
True growth often begins when we stop pushing so hard. It comes from kindness toward ourselves, not from endless “fixing”.Try this today: write down one way you are already enough, without changing anything. Keep it simple! Let it remind you that you do not have to earn your worth.
 
 
Sources:
 
Carmassi, C., Bertelloni, C. A., Dell’Oste, V., Pedrinelli, V., Cordone, A., Bargagna, P., … Dell’Osso, L. (2025). Burnout, resilience, and self-esteem in healthcare workers: A mediation analysis. Frontiers in Public Health, 13, 1537352. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpubh.2025.1537352
 
Limburg, K., Watson, H. J., Hagger, M. S., & Egan, S. J. (2017). The relationship between perfectionism and psychopathology: A meta-analysis. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 73(10), 1301–1326. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22435
 

Prioritizing Mental Health When Going Back to School

Going back to school can be exciting but also bring a wave of stress, pressure, and anxiety. Whether you’re a student, parent, or educator, the transition from summer break to another school year is a major shift that can impact one’s mental health in several ways.

For students, returning to class can mean academic expectations, social challenges, and the pressure to perform. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings rather than dismiss them. Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re not good enough; it means you’re human. Creating a routine that includes sleep, time for fun, and self-care can make a huge difference in maintaining one’s mental well-being throughout the year.

Parents, too, may feel the stress of new schedules, homework battles, or supporting children with their mental health struggles. It’s okay to seek support and remember that you don’t have to have all the answers. Simply being present and listening can help your child feel more secure.

As the school year begins, let’s normalize conversations about mental health. Encourage students to speak up if they’re struggling. Support each other with empathy and patience. And most importantly, know that it’s okay to ask for help, whether from a counselor, teacher, parent, or peer.

School is more than just grades; it’s about growth, and growth is never linear. By putting mental health at the forefront, we set ourselves up not just for academic success but for a healthier and more balanced life.

Written by Antonio Garland, Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern #4363

Grief Is Not Linear

Grief: Graduate Student Perspective
Everyone has experienced some level of grief at some point in their lives. Grief can be tricky because it is mainly associated with death. Did you know that grief is not limited to death, but is
a result of different types of significant loss? Grief can be the loss of friendships, relationships, jobs, pets, etc.

Stages of Grief
Grief is presented in five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Identifying a specific stage can be challenging, as some individuals can experience more than one stage. When an individual is experiencing denial, they may experience shock, disbelief, and numbness, and may experience anger towards themselves, others, and even the deceased. Individuals experiencing bargaining may state, “Where is God in this/ How dare God let this happen!” The depression stage can display as “Why go on at all?” Lastly, acceptance consists of acknowledging the loss and adapting to life.

Theories/Techniques
Combining existential and cognitive behavioral therapy can be useful when dealing with grief. Maybe you or someone you know has had difficulty rediscovering their purpose. Existential focuses on redefining purpose by implementing these techniques: the empty chair method, reframing, self-reflection, exploring meaning and purpose, encouraging responsibility, and focusing on the present.

CBT focuses on identifying and reframing negative thoughts. Depending on the situation, individuals may experience survivor’s guilt. Statements like “I wish it were me instead of them,”
or “Things would have been different if I had…” are examples of negative thinking. CBT helps the individual understand their thought process and establish healthier ways of thinking and
coping. Allowing space for addressing guilt and regret is necessary; however, understanding the underlying factors behind their guilt and shame is essential to shift to positive thinking. Shifting
from “I wish it were me instead of them” to “I am hurt that they are no longer with us.” There are other techniques like journaling, mindfulness, and social support.

Coping with Grief
Grief looks different to everyone, meaning coping strategies and healing stages may vary. When dealing with grief, it is important to prioritize self-care, engage in meaningful activities, create
rituals and memorialize, be patient with yourself, acknowledge and accept your feelings, and seek support.

Written by Jasmine Robinson, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

Reauthoring Your Life: The Transformative Power of Narrative Therapy

We are all storytellers. From the moment we begin to make sense of the world, we craft narratives about who we are, what we’re capable of, and what our experiences mean. Yet sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves become limiting—creating boundaries that confine rather than possibilities that liberate.

This is where narrative therapy shines. Developed by Michael White and David Epston in the 1980s, narrative therapy recognizes that we are not our problems, and our problems are not us. Instead, our challenges exist in the narratives we’ve constructed or inherited about ourselves.

Through narrative therapy, we learn to externalize problems—to see them not as inherent character flaws but as stories that can be rewritten. When we say, “Anxiety is affecting my life” rather than “I am an anxious person,” we create space between ourselves and the problem. In that space lies freedom.

The process of reauthoring our lives begins with simple awareness. What stories do you tell yourself about your capabilities, your worth, your future? Once identified, these narratives can be examined, questioned, and ultimately transformed.

Importantly, narrative therapy doesn’t dismiss our struggles but reframes them as opportunities for growth. Every challenge becomes a plot twist rather than an ending. Every setback becomes a chapter rather than the whole book.

By identifying “unique outcomes”—those moments when the problem doesn’t dominate—we discover evidence of alternative storylines already present in our lives. These exceptions form the foundation of new, more empowering narratives.

At Sage & Lore, we believe in the power of story to heal and transform. When you turn the page and write your own story, you quite literally change your life.

What page are you turning today?

Written by Petra Wilkes, Registered Mental Health and Marriage and Family Intern #IMH25031

Healing Through Communication: A Call to Counselors Supporting Troubled Teens

Every day, troubled teens walk into our counseling spaces carrying the silent weight of trauma—abuse, neglect, broken trust, and emotional wounds invisible to the eye. As counselors, we hold a sacred opportunity: to speak life into places where pain has tried to silence hope.

Healing starts with communication. It’s not just what we say; it’s how we listen. Active listening, open-ended questions, and creating safe, judgment-free environments are not just techniques—they are lifelines. When we truly hear a young person’s story, without rushing to fix or diagnose, we honor their dignity and invite healing to begin.

In my journey through counseling, I’ve seen firsthand the power of integrating faith with practice. Scripture reminds us: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3, NIV). When we weave biblical principles of hope, redemption, and restoration into our sessions, we offer not just therapeutic tools—but a vision of a future rooted in grace.

Consider Joy, a teenager struggling under the weight of cultural identity pressures and family strain. Through intentional communication and a focus on trust-building, her family began to heal alongside her. Or David, who carried deep shame after trauma until sessions rooted in forgiveness and God’s promises helped him reclaim his sense of worth.

Evidence backs what many of us have witnessed: open communication and peer support significantly increase a teen’s feelings of safety, resilience, and engagement in their healing journey. As counselors, we are not merely therapists—we are builders of bridges back to hope. If you are standing in the gap for hurting youth today, be encouraged: your listening ear, your empathetic heart, your faith-infused words—they matter. Never underestimate the power of communication anchored in compassion and truth. A young life’s tomorrow may be forever changed because you chose to show up with both skill and soul.

Craving Closeness & Connections

As humans, we crave the closeness and connections that come with having someone around, whether it is a friend or romantic partner. Have you ever wondered why some people seem naturally secure in relationships, while others struggle with trust, intimacy, or independence? The answer may lie in attachment styles, a concept rooted in psychology that explains how we relate to others, especially in close relationships. Attachment styles are the foundation of our human connections and our capacity to be there for one another. This creates meaningful attachments and memories with others and our lives. However, with closeness and letting our guards down comes the fear of making connections with others and being vulnerable. Whether that is due to past experiences or our insecurities coming out and influencing us, it can be hard. Understanding your attachment style can help you gain insight into yourself and foster meaningful, deep relationships. You might be thinking to yourself, “Well, how do I start?”. The first step in combating an unhealthy attachment style is to learn about the attachment style you have. As many people say, knowing is half the battle. The 4 attachment styles are anxious, fearful-avoidant, avoidant, and secure. You can take this quiz to see which style you have (Attachment Style Quiz: Free & Fast Attachment Style Test). Now that you know which attachment style you have, it is time for step 2, which will happen without you having to try too hard. It is being aware of how our own experiences are influencing our behaviors now. Then it comes down to making changes to positively influence your life based on those observations. I know what you are thinking, “How do I make that change?”. Don’t worry, it can seem daunting, but once you start seeing it, the change has already started. Trust in your intuition and have faith that you will become the best version of yourself as long as you continue to challenge your ways of thinking.

Written by Tiya Delson, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

Ainsworth, M.D.S., Blehar, M.C., Waters, E. & Wall, S. (1978) Patterns of Attachment. A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Hillsdale, NJ: LEA.

Levy, M. B., & Davis, K. E. (1988). Lovestyles and attachment styles compared: Their relations to each other and to various relationship characteristics. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 5(4), 439–471. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407588054004 

Yoga and Psychotherapy

In recent years, more people are turning to holistic approaches to improve their mental health. One powerful combination gaining attention is the integration of yoga and psychotherapy. While these two practices may seem unrelated at first glance, they actually complement each other in meaningful and transformative ways.

Traditional talk therapy helps people make sense of their thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships. It offers a safe space to explore past experiences, process trauma, navigate anxiety or depression, and work toward greater self-understanding. But as anyone who has struggled with overwhelming emotions or persistent stress knows, our minds and bodies are deeply connected. What we think and feel doesn’t just stay in our heads, it shows up in our posture, our breath, our muscles, and our nervous system. This is where yoga comes in. Yoga, especially when practiced with awareness, is more than
just exercise. It teaches us to tune into the body, breathe with intention, and notice what’s happening in the present moment. When combined with psychotherapy, yoga can help people move through emotional blocks, ground themselves in the here and now, and develop a deeper sense of self-compassion. It can also be a powerful tool for regulating the nervous system, particularly for those recovering from trauma or living with chronic stress.

In therapy, we often talk about feelings, but many of us struggle to feel those emotions fully—especially if we’ve been taught to suppress or avoid them. Yoga provides a safe and structured way to begin reconnecting with the body, which is often where those emotions are stored. Simple breathing exercises or mindful movement can help bring awareness to areas of tension or numbness, gently inviting us to notice and release what we’ve been holding onto, often without even realizing it. For people living with anxiety, yoga’s emphasis on slow, steady breathing and present-moment awareness can be
grounding and soothing. It helps interrupt the cycle of racing thoughts and allows space for the body to relax, which in turn can support clearer thinking and emotional resilience. For those dealing with depression or grief, the gentle movement of yoga can help awaken the body and mind from a state of stagnation.

Ultimately, combining yoga and psychotherapy is about honoring the wisdom of both the mind and the body. It recognizes that healing isn’t just an intellectual process—it’s also physical, emotional, and even spiritual. Whether you’re working through trauma, managing stress, or simply trying to live more intentionally, this integrative approach can offer a powerful path toward balance and wholeness.

Written by Sophie Gengler, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

Understanding and Preventing Burnout: Tips for Restoring Balance and Well-Being

Have you ever felt tired, lost a sense of purpose, or felt like nothing you do matter at your job? If so, then you experiencing some form of burnout. Burnout is a state of exhaustion that
comes from prolonged stress. This can come in the form of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. Burnout is usually associated with a job but this can happen to caregivers and
stay-at-home parents as well.

Burnout comes from not properly taking care of or managing life stressors. This usually comes in the form of not maintaining a proper work/life balance, not resting properly, or not
managing stress in healthy ways. Burnout can cause people to get irritable or use substances to help deal with the stress. These options can lead a person to make other choices that can either
ruin relationships or get into legal trouble, or both. With this in mind, people must learn to deal with burnout before it gets out of hand.

One of the important ways to prevent burnout is to have proper boundaries with your job or the people you care for. These boundaries help ensure that you can maintain a proper work/life
balance. This can include setting boundaries around what your working hours are or the expectations for returning messages. For stay-at-home parents, boundaries can include working
with your partner to create boundaries about daily schedules or when certain chores should be done. Boundaries can be difficult to enforce at first, but with practice, you can improve and
discover how setting boundaries can reduce stress. Another important thing to consider is taking proper rest. Rest is important to ensure that not only that you in a good state of mind but to help
maintain your physical health as well. This can include getting enough sleep or taking vacations.

Burnout is something that can sneak up on you when you don’t take care of yourself. If you feel like your experiencing burnout then you need to do something about. You start with
trying some of the things mentioned here. Another great option is to seek help from a counselor. A mental health counselor can help you figure out ways to better to manage stress to reduce
burnout. If you feel like you need then get the help you need the sooner the better. It is never to late to start taking better care of yourself.

Written by Nicholas Pujol, Registered Mental Health Intern #27522