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How to Practice Gratitude When You’re Feeling Discouraged

November 21, 2016 by

How to Practice Gratitude When You’re Feeling Discouraged

By
~ 1 min read
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How to Practice Gratitude When You’re Feeling Discouraged

We need gratitude more than ever

When we’re feeling discouraged, alone, anxious, or angry, it’s hard to be grateful.

We know we’re supposed to feel grateful. It’s Thanksgiving-time after all. But you may be having a hard time tapping into gratitude right now.  Our country is in turmoil, leaving us with a heaviness that’s hard to shake. Or maybe you’re overwhelmed with personal problems. Or perhaps you’re struggling with the extra work, financial hardship, or family turmoil that the holidays can bring.

Gratitude doesn’t always come easy

Sometimes we have to work at feeling grateful. But it’s a worthwhile practice.

There are a lot of good reasons to make a daily gratitude practice part of your life. According to Happify, people who practice gratitude regularly “experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems.”

Practicing gratitude is simple, quick, effective, and free. There aren’t many things that can claim that!

Gratitude brings us back to the present

Instead of worrying about the future, gratitude reminds us of the here and now. Gratitude helps us focus on what’s good, on what’s working rather than what’s not.

Gratitude shifts the focus from problems to positives. When we focus on the good things in our lives, we train our brains to look for the positives. So, by practicing gratitude we will notice more of the good things in the world. Our problems don’t disappear, but they can feel more manageable.

A gratitude challenge

Even when you think gratitude might be helpful, it can still be hard to get started. The following gratitude journal prompts can help spark some ideas. Start small and gradually challenge yourself to find something to be grateful about even in life’s challenges. Write as much or as little as you want, but do try to be consistent so you begin to build the habit.

For the next 14 days, answer the question: “I am grateful for ____________” using each of these prompts. And feel free to add your own and keep the practice going after you’ve done the 14 listed.

  1. Something in nature
  2. A person
  3. Something I can see
  4. A hobby
  5. Something I only do at the holidays
  6. A gift I’ve been given
  7. Something about my health or body
  8. Something I’ve done to help others
  9. A possession
  10. A happy memory
  11. Something that keeps me safe
  12. Something that makes my life easier
  13. A talent
  14. A favorite food

If you take the 14-day gratitude challenge, I’d love to have you add your answers in the comments below. I hope you find it to be a beneficial exercise for bringing more hope and contentment into your life.

Gratitude Journal, Gratitude Challenge

 

 

Photo: Ben White on Upsplash

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14 Signs Your Working Relationship Has Crossed The Line

November 18, 2016 by

14 Signs Your Working Relationship Has Crossed The Line

By Tarra Bates-Duford, Ph.D., MFT
~ 3 min read

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14 Signs Your Working Relationship Has Crossed The Line

Most office and coworker relationships start off gradually and innocently, i.e., complaints about supervisors or management, sharing jokes, supporting your co-worker through a difficult day at work, giving or soliciting advice, talking about children and family, grabbing a bite to eat, etc.

However, some work relationships extend beyond the office or the company, drifting to personal and inappropriate area like dinners out, social engagements (outside of work), the home, or even a hotel/motel. The term “work spouse” is a term used to describe a relationship between two people who work closely together, often resembling a marital relationship.

Working relationships typically begin hesitantly, cautiously, avoiding or discouraging personal topics and disclosure. However, if boundaries are too flexible or nonexistent they can subtly evolve into emotional affairs by becoming entrenched as the coworkers attempt to meet each others basic needs.

It is quite natural to want to develop relationships with others at work, as this is typically where one spends most of his or her time. Having a best friend at the office to confide in can be a positive, often necessary part of work. Like most things in life, work can be extremely challenging, demanding, stressful, and sometimes thankless. Often stressors associated with work can be a significant motivating factor for coworkers to meet and connect with others who can understand the unique stressors of the job and company environment.

Relationships become questionable or issues begin to arise when coworkers begin to share personal information, are selective with the information they share with their spouses, while freely disclosing the information to a coworker, avoid or hide their relationship with a coworker, or discusses issues/problems within their marriage to the coworker. Unfortunately, some men and women may view “affairs” differently, hence some people may view affairs as a physical act, while others will view an affair as both physical or emotional sharing with another person outside of the marriage or committed relationship.

Work spouse relationships can become increasingly dangerous if coworkers are attracted to each other or develop an attraction to each other. “Work spouses” can accidentally fall into infatuation. Surprisingly, falling into infatuation or lust happens quite often at work. People underestimate the power of infatuation and think they can handle temptation much better than they can. Simply “knowing” that having a romantic relationship with your coworker is wrong is not enough. Committed partners must keep their home, personal, and marital life separate in an effort not to avoid blurring boundaries.

Relationships that begin at work often subtly evolve into emotional affairs by workers meeting the basic human needs of their coworker. While most work relationships usually occur in the following cycle; introduction, respect, rapport, working partnership, and sometimes friendship. Relationships that have crossed boundaries will go beyond friendship to affection, admiration, attraction, inappropriate disclosure, inappropriate closeness, lust or infatuation, and sometimes sex. Once boundaries have become too loose or non-existent, you have crossed the line into very dangerous territory that can have negative consequences for your spouse, marriage, family, and emotional well-being.

Signs Your Work Relationship Has Crossed the Line Include:

· You meet after work for social rather than vocational reasons

· Conversations have moved beyond the topics of work to more personal discussions

· You talk to your co-worker about things you would not or have not discussed with your spouse or partner

· You have disclosed personal information about your spouse

· You make disparaging or insulting remarks about your spouse

· You begin to have lustful thoughts about your coworker

· You start making comparisons between your spouse or partner and your coworker

· You find reasons to constantly be in the company of – or find reasons to touch – your coworker

· You refuse or try to prevent your coworker and spouse from meeting

· You confide in your coworker more than anyone else at your office about work issues

· You delay going home or feign a work emergency just so you can spend more time with your coworker

· You make personal statements or compliments about your coworker’s physicality

· You seek emotional support from your coworker rather than your spouse or partner

· You refer to your coworker as your work husband or work wife

Helpful Tips to Keep Your Working Relationship Professional:

· Stay on topics that focus on work or are otherwise non-personal

· Be transparent with your spouse or partner about your relationship with your coworker

· Provide and insist on clear and defined boundaries in your working relationship

· Don’t say anything to your coworker you wouldn’t say to your spouse or wouldn’t want your spouse or significant other to know

· Keep all physical contact professional, i.e., handshake or pat on the back instead of hugs or shoulder massages

· Avoid disclosing embarrassing or personal information about your spouse, children, and your life in general

· Do not hide or prevent your coworker and spouse from meeting

Although, no one enters a committed relationship or marriage with the intention of cheating on his or her partner, we often spend most of our time at work, away from our partner or spouse, with our coworkers. In most cases, we spend between 40 and 80 hours a week at work, making it easier to gain a lot of information about our coworkers, and develop relationships.

People who work closely together often develop their own “language,” have “inside jokes,” understand the specific stressors of that job, know the internal bureaucracy, etc. Therefore, maintaining both appropriate and healthy boundaries can present as challenges once we start to inappropriately disclose more and more of ourselves to people other than our partners.

Relationships work best when there is openness, honesty, and transparency. Therefore, it is important to avoid inviting others into your romantic relationships. It should be noted that worker relationships can often suffer once boundaries have been blurred. It is very difficult to regain a healthy work relationship once coworkers have crossed the line. Blurring the boundaries at work can lead to additional stress, discomfort, and disdain from having to go to work.

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Co-Occurring Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder

November 15, 2016 by
By
~ 2 min read

Introduction of Co-Occurring Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder

It is not uncommon to see a diagnosis of both an Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder.  According to www.adaa.org, “Making a diagnosis of an anxiety disorder plus bipolar disorder can be confusing, and it is best to seek help from a mental health professional.”  This article will describe some of the signals to observe for, if individuals might be developing an Anxiety Disorder plus Bipolar Disorder.  It will also describe some treatment methods for this co-occurring disorder.

What To Look For

According to www.adaa.org, the following may be present if an Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder is present:

Dr. Simon says, a few clues may suggest the presence of both an anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder:

  • The presence of panic attacks, significant anxiety, nervousness, worry, or fearful avoidance of activities in addition to periods of depression and mania or hypomania.
  • The development of symptoms as a child or young adult, which people with both disorders are more likely to report.
  • Significant problems with sleep and persistent anxiety even when not in a manic state, and lack of response to initial treatment.
  • Increased sensitivity to initial side effects of medication, and sometimes a longer time frame for finding the right medication combination and dosing.

How Do You Treat A Co-Occurring Anxiety Disorder And Bipolar Disorder?

Medication 

According to https://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/bipolar-disorder-2, the following can be stated about the treatment of medication for this co-occurring disorder:

When treating a co-occurring anxiety and bipolar disorder with medication, most doctors first prescribe a mood stabilizer to address the bipolar disorder.  Starting an antidepressant (a common medication approach for anxiety disorders) before mood stabilization is achieved may worsen the bipolar disorder symptoms. However, an antidepressant can trigger manic episodes, even while taking a mood stabilizer.  For this reason, doctors sometimes avoid prescribing antidepressants or prescribe them at a low dose for patients with co-occurring disorders, and they monitor carefully any patients who are taking a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant.

Therapy

According to https://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/bipolar-disorder-2, the following information can be stated about using different types of therapy for the treatment of a co-occurring Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder:

Relaxation Techniques. These techniques may help people develop the ability to cope more effectively with the stresses that contribute to anxiety and mood, as well as with any associated physical symptoms. Breathing re-training, progressive muscle relaxation, and exercise are among the techniques.

Using cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or another evidence-based psychotherapy instead of medication for an anxiety disorder addresses concerns about side effects from taking mood stabilizers with anti-anxiety medications.

Family Therapy. This form of therapy uses strategies to reduce the level of distress within a family that may either contribute to an ill person’s symptoms or result from them.

Conclusion

To summarize, this article has provided readers with triggers for the development of an Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder, as well as different types of treatment methods for an Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder.

 

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Healing After the Election

November 10, 2016 by

By
~ 3 min read

Healing After the Election

healing-after-election

After any acrimonious election — and the election of 2016 will go down in history as one of the worst — there needs to be a time for the country to come together once again and heal. Healing is a normal, healthy part of any good relationship. And in order for our relationship with our government, politicians, and fellow citizens to heal, we need to remember the commonalities that bring us together.

Healing after an election may not be easy for everyone, and it may be especially difficult this election year. But we must heal in order to move forward and continue to grow our great nation.

Historically, Americans have always been fairly good at letting bygones be bygones and moving on. Americans forgave British sympathizers (their neighbors) after the Revolutionary War, and we forgave again (our brothers) after the terrible devastation wrought by the Civil War. A presidential election, all things considered, should be much easier.

Many ordinary Americans find the election process — and government in general — frustrating, opaque, and uncaring of their needs and challenges. Elections give us a time to vent about our frustrations with the economy and government’s seeming inability to “get things done.” No matter who’s in power and who’s nominated, Americans pretty much complain about the same things every election cycle: taxes, lack of jobs, the economy, government interference in our lives, and the perceived strength of our country.

Smart Americans know that government is there to perform the basic functions that help guarantee our access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It’s not there to make sure we don’t do dumb things, make bad choices, or are actually happy.

These same neighbors and citizens also know that the ability to effect real change in America lies not with a President (who has specific, limited powers), but with the legislative body — Congress. If Americans really wanted the change they seem to clamor for every election cycle, they’d spend more time voting out the Congressional incumbents who failed to bring about the change desired.

Healing Begins at Home

If you’ve been on a different page than your spouse, partner, or kids during this election, it’s best to make amends and heal these personal wounds first. Sometimes we say things we don’t really mean in the heat of an argument. Such things may be said out of frustration or anger. Now is the time to apologize for such remarks and acknowledge that some elections can be more acrimonious and frustrating than others. But it is no excuse not to treat others with the same respect we all want and deserve.

Do you really want to sink a whole friendship — based upon years or even decades of shared experiences — over a single election? For most people, the answer is no. Reach out to friends who were on the other side and make amends there, too.

Healing Continues at Work & with Neighbors

Maybe you’ve had one of those yard signs on your front lawn that stood out among a sea of your opponent’s signs. Maybe you’re the one person in your office or on the job site who seemed to be for your candidate. It’s time to say, “Hey, that was some election, but I’m glad it’s over and we can all get on with our lives,” and hope others hear your conciliatory tone.

Unless you went way over the top, there’s no need to apologize for your choice of candidates or your passion in arguing for your candidate (as long as you were respectful when doing so). If you did go over the top or cross a line, you should try to find a quiet, private place to make your apologies to those you may have offended. Doing so will go a long way to healing any hurt feelings at your workplace.

Healing Must Occur in Government, Too

Americans didn’t elect politicians to sit in their chairs and make speeches that nobody listens to. We elected them to do their job of running this nation’s business and getting the job done. Any politician who refuses to do his or her job — which includes rational discussion, negotiation, and compromise (as has always been the case) — needs to resign or face not being re-elected come next election. Citizens have said time and time again that they want a government that does its job — not one that just obstructs work from being accomplished.

Politicians must reach across the aisle and find the shared commonalities they have with one another — their pride in being American, their belief in the American work ethic, and the knowledge that together they can accomplish great things for our great country.

Here’s to the next four years of coming together again as one people, standing behind our President and elected officials, and moving forward. Because it is only together that we can make simple work of hard, complicated issues.

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5 Crucial Reasons You Should Talk More

November 7, 2016 by
5 Crucial Reasons You Should Talk More
By
~ 3 min read
communication

Have you ever been sitting on a subway or plane and felt annoyed because the person next to you keeps trying to chat and chat and chat?

One thing we know about human nature is that there are introverts and extroverts in this world, and everyone falls somewhere on that continuum. Some people seem to be programmed to talk and engage, while others are genetically programmed the opposite way.

But what makes some people less talkative than others? Is it as simple as genetics? I don’t think so.

Wives complain about their husbands’ one-word responses; my clients often tell me that they feel a deep loneliness, even when they are surrounded by people. I’ve heard many stories about lovely folks standing alone at parties, feeling awkward, and waiting until enough time passed so that they could go home.

Are all of these people introverts? Maybe, but many of them had another good reason to be in their predicaments. Unbeknownst to them, they had built a wall between themselves and everyone else. A wall that acted as a hurdle for the words that they could and should speak. A wall that took their voice, and bounced it right back at them and a wall that whispered,

That’s not important enough to say

Talking is annoying

Talking is useless

You have nothing to offer in this conversation

Sadly, all of these people are being deprived of one of nature’s most valuable tools: communication, and all of the wonderful benefits that come with it.

5 Reasons You Should Talk More

  1. Boost your mood:
    Imagine running errands, feeling hurried. Anxiously waiting in line at the pharmacy, the woman standing behind you says, “Excuse me can I ask you a question? Where did you get those shoes? My husband’s been looking for some just like that and can’t find them anywhere.” You have a brief discussion in which you make a tiny joke and she laughs. Studies show that these types of small, meaningless encounters boost your mood. A connecting moment with another human being releases a neurotransmitter in your brain called oxytocin. This chemical has been shown by research to have an anti-anxiety effect. It gives you a feeling of well-being, and may increase human empathy. It’s not just you; the woman you just spoke with will have a similar boost in mood.
  2. Think things through: Talking with a stranger at the pharmacy is one thing. Talking with a trusted person you are close with is quite another. There is great value in saying aloud something that you are working on in your mind. Worried about your daughter? Wondering if you should change jobs? Thinking you should buy a new car? Simply putting what’s in your head out there to another person forces you to own it. The response of the other person gives you input. This back-and-forth process helps you draw new conclusions and may even give you new ideas. It’s all good.
  3. Become more interesting: Talking less may feel safer. You’re unlikely to offend another person by saying nothing. However, the risk of being a quiet person is appearing uninteresting to others. Putting something out there (almost anything) gives others something to grab onto and something to remember you by. Unless you’re gabbing on and on about minutia, talking makes you relatable and interesting.
  4. Rewire your brain: If you’re a non-talker, you are probably being stopped by a combination of introversion, (which is fine and great; we’re not trying to change that here); and your wall. The wall was likely erected in your childhood as a result of subtle or overt messages from your family that your voice was not particularly welcome or interesting. Overriding those messages now as an adult, as often as you can, automatically starts to break through that wall. You can rewire your brain over time, and talking and interacting will become easier and easier for you.
  5. Have deeper, more valuable relationships: Every word you say empowers you. Every word allows other people in your life to know you better. Every word you say encourages another person to say something back, which allows you to know them better. The better you know each other, the deeper your relationship goes. Deeper relationships are more meaningful, more resilient and more valuable than shallow ones.

If you are an introvert, the idea of talking more may feel energy-draining. If that’s the case, it’s important to listen to your body’s needs and take care of yourself. However, research shows that talking and engaging with other people actually makes introverts happier. So there is a balance, and it’s important not to give in to silence.

Reduce your anxiety, become more interesting, break through your wall, and improve your relationships. All can come from one little habit that you can cultivate in yourself.

SO TALK

To learn more about the messages you received in childhood, your wall, and how to overcome it all, see EmotionalNeglect.comand the book, Running on Empty.

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Bipolar Vs. Schizophrenia

October 28, 2016 by

Bipolar vs. Schizophrenia

By Lauren Walters – 1 min read in www.psychcentral.com

Bipolar versus Schizophrenia

Bipolar versus Schizophrenia

Introduction

According to healthline.com, “Bipolar disorder and schizophrenia are two different chronic mental disorders. People can sometimes mistake the symptoms of bipolar disorder for schizophrenia symptoms.” To explain further according to this specific source, Bipolar Disorder and schizophrenia can be confused with one another. However, they are two different disorders. This particular article will address the differences between Bipolar Disorder and schizophrenia.

What Is Bipolar Disorder?

According to healthline.com, “Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder. It causes sudden and strong shifts in energy, mood, and activity levels. A person with bipolar disorder will switch between extreme excitement, or mania, and depression. These shifts can affect your ability to perform daily activities.” To sum it up, Bipolar Disorder consists of sudden shifts in mood and energy.

What Is Schizophrenia?

According to healthline.com, “Schizophrenia isn’t as common as bipolar disorder. The symptoms are more severe than the symptoms of bipolar disorder, but it’s highly treatable. People with schizophrenia experience hallucinations and delusions. Hallucinations involve seeing or hearing things that aren’t there. Delusions are beliefs in things that aren’t true.” To explain further, schizophrenia consists of hallucinations and delusions.

What Are The Differences Between Bipolar Disorder And Schizophrenia?

According to healthline.com, the onset of Bipolar Disorder and schizophrenia appear at different points in an individual’s life. According to healthline.com, “Bipolar disorder affects approximately 2.2 % of people in the United States. It usually first appears between the late teen years and early adulthood. Children can also show signs of bipolar disorder. Schizophrenia affects 1.1% of the population. People usually find out they have it between the ages of 16 and 30. Schizophrenia isn’t usually seen in children.” Therefore, to summarize, Bipolar Disorder affects more of the population than schizophrenia does. In addition, Bipolar Disorder can show up in childhood, while Schizophrenia usually shows up between the ages of 16 and 30 and is not seen in childhood.

Conclusion

To end this article, Bipolar Disorder and schizophrenia may appear similar to the human eye, especially since individuals with Bipolar Disorder and schizophrenia can both experience symptoms associated with psychosis. However, this is just one similarity between Bipolar Disorder and schizophrenia. On a contrasting note, they are actually quite different from one another. To recap, Bipolar Disorder is more common than schizophrenia, appearing in 2.2% and 1.1% of the population, respectively. In addition, Bipolar Disorder can appear in as early as childhood, while schizophrenia is not known to appear in childhood, rather appearing between the ages of 16 years old to 30 years old.

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What Social Anxiety Feels Like and Where It Comes From

October 9, 2016 by
What Social Anxiety Feels Like and Where It Comes From

What Social Anxiety Feels Like and Where It Comes From

What Social Anxiety Feels Like and Where It Comes From

March 31, 2016 • By Ben Ringler, MFT, GoodTherapy.org Topic Expert Contributor

Do you often dread parties, anxiously fearing awkward conversations that expose the contents of your mind for all to see?

Do you cringe at the thought of meeting people?

Around others, do you find yourself spinning with worry about what they think of you or how you measure up?

These are just a few of the manifestations of social anxiety.

Social anxiety can be a paralyzing, frustrating, and chaotic experience. It’s a very out-of-control feeling that can leave you very torn: torn between the human need to be social and connected to others and the feeling of wanting to run away and hide from what feels like an oppressive, all-consuming monster. It can feel as though you have no clothes and no skin—as if people can see right inside you.

And when you’re alone again, away from the social scene, you may notice your immediate relief being slowly replaced by feelings of isolation, disappointment with yourself, and hopelessness.

Social anxiety can derive from many sources: early traumatic experiences, generalized anxiety expressing itself in particular ways, and a more sensitive disposition interacting with a highly stimulating world, among others.

In the paragraphs that follow, I want to address one aspect of social anxiety and offer some tips for how to think about and work with it. Specifically, I want to discuss how social anxiety can be a reflection of what is happening for you on the inside.

Social Anxiety as an Internal Mirror Image

If you struggle with social anxiety, you may be projecting onto the outside world what you feel inside, perhaps partially or entirely unconsciously. Inside, you may feel the (self-fulfilling) constellation of thoughts and feelings you notice in social settings:

Social anxiety can derive from many sources: early traumatic experiences, generalized anxiety expressing itself in particular ways, and a more sensitive disposition interacting with a highly stimulating world, among others.

  • Anxious anticipation of socializing or being with people, about being judged or exposed, or just having to deal with awkward conversations.
  • Heightened anxiety (maybe manifesting in sweaty palms, pale skin, or rapid heartbeat) in a social setting, particularly if you feel what you anticipated you’d feel: anxiety, feeling judged, awkwardness, and the feeling you don’t belong.
  • Often what goes along with this, even when things are going OK, is a running inner commentary of comparison: how everyone else is NOT anxious, just you. How everyone else is able to connect and has so much to say and is so articulate, just not you.
  • Depending on how difficult it gets, you may want to run, but first have to devise the best escape route in order to not attract attention.

These thoughts and feelings may echo how you felt as a child in your family of origin. If so, you may have internalized them, and now replay them in social settings of one type or another.

Specifically, as a child, you may have felt alone, anxious, and not quite adequate in relation to your family. Especially if there was anxiety, insecurity, or self-criticism in the family system, and no one was really aware of or dealing with it, you may have internalized it and made it your own.

Attending to Your Inner World

In order to reduce social anxiety, especially if the family scene I described resonates for you, it’s important to attend to your inner world in a consistent way. Here are five steps you can take:

  1. In a journal, draw a line down the center. On the left, write “Family Environment” and on the right, “Social Anxiety.”
  2. Spend some time thinking about your family environment. Look for any similarities you experience in your social anxiety and your childhood. Specifically, was there a lot of criticism? Anxiety? Did you feel judged? Insecure? Write your observations down in the left-hand column.
  3. Track the thoughts and feelings you notice in social settings. (This is a great exercise because it distracts from your anxious thoughts and gives you an immediate tool to work with your anxiety.) Write down any repetitive thoughts and feelings you experience in the right-hand column.
  4. Take some time and compare and contrast. You might be surprised how much you learn about how your past affects your present experience. Write down any insights and, especially, feel whatever feelings arise.
  5. When feeling social anxiety, breathe into your belly consistently. Reassure yourself. Tell yourself that, most likely, everyone in the room is anxious in one way or another.

These are some great initial steps that may open your eyes to how your inner world, especially memories and emotion, affects your present-day experience. For more in-depth work and permanent change, psychotherapy is an excellent way to work with social anxiety because you can, in real time, observe and share your anxious thoughts with a trained professionalwho can help you navigate the memories and hurts that keep you from having a more satisfying social life.

© Copyright 2016 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. Permission to publish granted by Ben Ringler, MFT, therapist in Berkeley, California

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

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Emotionally Prepare for a Hurricane

October 5, 2016 by

Emotionally Prepare for a Hurricane By American Psychological Association

Emotionally Prepare for a Hurricane / Anxiety Tips

Emotionally Prepare for a Hurricane / Anxiety Tips

Emotionally Prepare for a Hurricane / Anxiety Tips

~ 2 min read

Preparing for and anticipating the arrival of a large-scale hurricane can be distressing for people living in the hurricane’s path. There may be uncertainty ahead about your living arrangements, work and other important life factors, especially if you have been evacuated.

You may also be concerned about storm damage to your home, neighborhood and community. The near-constant stream of news about the storm’s arrival can give rise to feelings of stress, anxiety and fear. Recognizing these common emotional reactions and taking steps to prepare for the storm will be helpful in safeguarding your emotional well-being.

Here are some simple and effective ways to manage your storm-related fears and anxiety. Many are essential ingredients for a healthy lifestyle and adopting them can help improve your overall emotional and physical well-being

Steps to Take to Prepare for a Hurricane

  • Have a plan and implement it. It is important to have a plan for you and your family (including pets) to be safe during the storm. Recent hurricanes and other weather-related events have illustrated the importance of emergency preparedness. The American Red Cross recommends steps you can take to prepare. Find out about available transportation, relatives who might be able to take you in, shelter locations and other important details. Knowing in advance that you are prepared for the storm can lessen your anxiety.

 

  • Get the facts. Gather information that will help you accurately determine your risk so that you can take reasonable actions. Find a credible source you can trust such as your governor’s office, local or state public health agencies or the National Weather Service. Limit your exposure to news reports that focus on damage and destruction.

 

  • Make connections. Good relationships with close family members, friends and others are important. Even those separated from their families, can build connections among new acquaintances. Some of the most inspiring stories from 2005’s Hurricane Katrina spotlighted people evacuating from New Orleans accompanied by – and emotionally attached to – fellow evacuees they had just met. Coming together and helping one another can be positive for your emotional health.

 

  • Stay healthy. A healthy lifestyle – including proper diet, exercise and rest – is your best defense against any threat. A healthy body can have a positive impact on your thoughts and emotions, enabling you to make better decisions and better deal with the hurricane’s uncertainties.

 

  • Reach out to your children. Help children by restricting constant viewing of the news, giving them assurances that plans are in place to keep them safe and maintaining their routines as much as possible.

 

  • Maintain a hopeful outlook. Remember that the federal government, your state government, and many non-governmental disaster services agencies have already mobilized to address the threat of the hurricane. Also, many improvements have been made to those response systems since the last large-scale hurricanes. Also, recall times when you’ve successfully managed challenging life circumstances. Draw upon those skills and experiences to help you through the current storm.

 

  • Seek additional help. People who feel an overwhelming anxiety, fear or other prolonged reaction that adversely affects their interpersonal relationships or job performance should consult with a trained and experienced mental health professional. Psychologists and other appropriate mental health providers can help people find constructive ways to manage adversity and deal with extreme stress.

 

  • Persevere and trust in your ability to get through the challenging days ahead. Putting into practice some of these tips may help to strengthen your emotional well-being.

Special thanks to Raymond F. Hanbury, PhD, ABPP and Eva D. Sivan, PhD for their assistance in preparing this document.

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Two Ways to Put the Brakes on Your Anxiety

September 29, 2016 by

By Annabella Hagen, LCSW, RPT-S
~ 3 min read

Two Ways to Put the Brakes on Your Anxiety

Two Ways to Put the Brakes on Your Anxiety

Two Ways to Put the Brakes on Your Anxiety
Our human instinct is to react and push back when we feel pain and discomfort. When we struggle with anxiety, those feelings are magnified. Our inherent response is to try and get rid of unpleasant feelings and sensations immediately. But does it really work?

This is an important question, and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) teaches that fighting the discomfort can actually make the situation worse. Mental health providers practicing ACT often use the quicksand metaphor, and the reaction we naturally would have if we were ever caught in it. Even though we know it makes matters worse when we panic and try to get out quickly, our survival mechanisms tell us differently.

Trying to get out of quicksand is counterintuitive. The first piece of advice given by outdoor experts is not to panic or make frantic movements. We are taught to slowly wiggle our body until we can lie on our back. Once most of our body is on the surface, we can then try to float and roll ourselves to solid ground.

How we need to respond to anxious moments according to ACT may sound illogical as well. It takes time to understand how to be flexible with our thoughts and the emotional pain that comes with them. Our natural tendency is to react in defense, but perhaps it’s worth a try to look at our anxiety with a different set of eyes.

Think about what would happen if we were to ask a surgeon to remove our brain structures that set the fight-or-flight response in motion. We simply would not live very long. This response is part of who we are as mortal creatures. There is no way we can get rid of it. We need our “alarm system” to survive this menacing universe. However, instead of having to fight snakes, tigers, and mammoths, we fight the stress created by our challenging and busy world. When individuals experience anxiety, their fight-or-flight response is an ongoing reaction in their lives.

Experiencing restlessness, fatigue, muscle tension, heart pounding, and shortness of breath, to name a few symptoms of anxiety, is not something we want to encounter on a regular basis. However, when we resist these sensations, our “alarm system” may detect that it’s not doing its job. It continues to pump blood and stress hormones to defend us from the enemy. When this happens, it certainly can feel like we are in quicksand!

Rather than following your instinctive reaction, consider these two suggestions:

Slow down
This is easier said than done, but have you noticed what happens when you are feeling high anxiety? Someone may recommend that you relax and take slow deep breaths. You follow their advice, but then your mind may tell you to do it faster. The mind — the amazing problem-solving machine — wants to help you. So it says to you: “The faster you breathe, the faster these feelings and sensations will vanish!” It makes sense doesn’t it? That’s the mind’s job, but you know its warning is backfiring as you begin to hyperventilate and become even more anxious.

Remember, the sensations you feel as anxiety escalates are an indication that your nervous system is functioning well. In fact, it’s working overtime. Instead of trying to get rid of the sensations, note how your wonderful mind acts so quickly to protect you from harm. Gradually scan your body and detect how each part of it is responding. As you do this, remember to observe your thoughts, and slowly refocus.

Take time to breathe in and out even when your ‘thinking engine’ is telling you to do otherwise. Choose an anchor to focus on. For example, simply notice the air coming in and out of your nose. You might want to direct your attention to the temperature of the air as you inhale and exhale, or feel how your abdomen expands and contracts.

Remember, your thought-producing machine will be trying to coach you, and produce thoughts that may not be helpful in the moment. Acknowledge what it says, and gently return to the anchor you’ve chosen.

Become curious
Choose to look at your body with interest. Watch what happens when you breathe in and out slowly. Curiously examine the results of not reacting to the amazing problem-solving engine as you normally would. Carefully pay attention to small details in things and people around you. Can you clearly distinguish the sounds in the room? Have you ever wondered how your sense of smell functions during a stressful situation? How is your body reacting to the surfaces it is touching during anxious moments?

Ask yourself this question: What happens each time I listen to my mind and try to get out of it frantically? Consider your answer seriously. Try to see anxiety in a different light. Take a chance and be willing to respond differently. Remember that managing anxiety is counterintuitive.

Discover what may happen if you follow professional advice. Outdoor experts have provided the appropriate steps to follow when caught in quicksand. Our thinking machine most likely will want us to follow our innate intuition to get out of it as soon as we can. It will be up to us to follow expert advice, if we ever should need it. So it is with anxiety. Will you follow your survival instincts or the advice from researchers who have studied this disorder and have found what provides lasting results?

There are other steps but start with these and see what happens. It takes practice, time, and patience to master new skills. Remember that learning to manage anxiety is a process. You can choose to slow down and become inquisitive. As you do, you’ll find that you have more time to live a value-focused life instead of an anxiety-focused life.

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7 Tips on Mastering Change

September 15, 2016 by

By Suzanne Kane on www.psychcentral.com

 

~ 2 min read

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7 Tips on Mastering Change – Need Help with Change – Contact Dr. April

You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.”– Brian Tracy.   Change is nonstop. Life coaches and proponents of positive thinking are nearly unanimous in recommending that we accept and embrace change.

While that is good advice, sometimes change brings with it uncertainty, fear, doubt, failure and dashed hopes. We may start off with an optimistic outlook, only to encounter some difficulty or unexpected problem that throws everything we had planned off-kilter.

We might just give up on the change we’re trying to make.

Or, we might become even more determined to see it through.

The attitude we adopt is really the key to what comes afterward. Granted, we cannot predict what will happen or what will ultimately be the result of our actions, but we can control how we think about our prospects, what we believe our strengths are and how self-confident we are.

It does take practice to see the hopeful, rather than the dismal, but we can learn how to do this.

Here are some tips on mastering change:

  • Keep your eye on the goal.
  • While interruptions and challenges are bound to occur, if you have a firm grasp of what you want to achieve, you’ll be poised to weather distractions and detours along the way.
  • Revisit your plan often.
    Sometimes, with everything being thrown at you, it’s tough to stay focused on the plan. That’s why you write it down, so you can refer to it as often as necessary to remind you of your goal – and the steps you need to take to be successful.
  • Be optimistic about being able to find solutions.
    Problems will occur, but you have been through these kinds of situations before and figured out solutions. Remind yourself of this and it will help bolster your resolve and maintain your optimistic attitude.
  • Don’t be afraid to adapt and revise.
  • Just because you have a plan doesn’t mean that you have to adhere to it so rigidly that you miss opportunities. The key here is to remain flexible so that you are able to adapt and modify your plan to incorporate new ideas and perhaps take advantage of a different approach.
  • Flexibility is one of the hallmarks of mastering change.
  • Surround yourself with positive people.
    When you’re embarking on change, or making a decision to change, you don’t need naysayers around you challenging your actions. Choose to be with others who are upbeat, supportive of your ideas and goals, and whose success and demeanor you admire. Positivity is contagious, and you’ll benefit from associating with positive friends, co-workers, neighbors and acquaintances.
  • Find the lesson in failure. No one likes to think about failure, but the fact is that it happens. Should this quash your attitude about ultimately succeeding? Not if you study what happened and discover the lesson the experience holds. This makes you that much more prepared to handle whatever comes next and to take proactive measures to deal with them.
  • Be open to new ideas.
  • You wouldn’t eat the same meal day after day, would you? Just as variety is the spice of cuisine, so, too, is the willingness to entertain new ideas. Even if what you read, see or hear is a somewhat different way to accomplish a goal than you’ve used before, it might hold some merit in terms of adaptation, revision or addition to what strategies you have in your toolkit.
  • Knowing you have options is a great confidence-builder.
    Keep in mind that the way you regard change says a lot about who you are. You can be in control of your attitude and master change, or allow change to master you.

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