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Study Finds CBT Best Therapy for IBS

December 13, 2016 by

Study Finds CBT Best Therapy for IBS

By Rick Nauert PhD
~ 1 min read
Study Finds CBT Best Therapy for IBS

Study Finds CBT Best Therapy for IBS

Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a painful and sometime debilitating condition that affects roughly one adult in 10. Previous studies have found that, on average, psychotherapy is just as effective as medications in reducing the severity of symptoms of this gastrointestinal disorder.

Although experts initially believed the type of psychotherapy used for the condition did not matter, a new study suggests one particular type of therapy is the most effect.

Specifically, psychologists at Vanderbilt University reviewed different types of psychotherapy to determine which is best at improving the ability of IBS patients to participate in daily activities. They found that one form — cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) — was the best at enhancing a person’s ability to perform normal activities.

“Evaluating daily function is important because it distinguishes between someone who experiences physical symptoms but can fully engage in work, school, and social activities and someone who cannot,” said Kelsey Laird, a doctoral student in Vanderbilt’s clinical psychology program.

Laird is the first author of the study which appears online in the journal Clinical Psychology Review.

Co-authors are Emily Tanner-Smith, Ph.D., a research associate and Professors Lynn S. Walker, Alexandra C. Russell, and Steven Hollon.

The authors analyzed 31 studies, which provided data for over 1,700 individuals who were randomly assigned to receive either psychotherapy or a control condition such as support groups, education, or wait-lists.

Overall, those who received psychotherapy showed greater gains in daily functioning compared to those assigned to a control condition.

However, individuals assigned to receive cognitive behavior therapy or CBT experienced larger improvements than those who received other types of therapy.

Researchers note that CBT is an umbrella term for a number of different therapies, each of which is based on the idea that thoughts, feelings, physiology, and behavior are interrelated.

Treatments are designed to help people develop alternative ways of thinking and behaving with the goal of reducing psychological distress and physiological arousal.

The authors speculate that the greater improvement observed in patients who received CBT may be due to the fact that treatments often incorporate “exposure:” a technique in which individuals gradually expose themselves to uncomfortable situations.

For someone with IBS, this could include long road trips, eating out at restaurants, and going places where bathrooms are not readily accessible.

“Encouraging individuals to gradually confront such situations may increase their ability to participate in a wider range of activities,” said Laird.

“But more research is needed before we can say why CBT appears more effective for improving functioning in IBS compared to other therapy types.”

Source: Vanderbilt University

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How to Navigate Difficult Family Relationships – Here are some tips

December 6, 2016 by

How to Navigate Difficult Family Relationships – Here are some tips
Check out this article
By Sharon Martin, LCSW
~ 4 min read

how-to-navigate-difficult-family-relationships

How to Navigate Difficult Family Relationships – Here are some tips

How to Deal with Difficult Family? How do you deal with your dysfunctional, toxic, or difficult family members?

The holidays usually mean getting together with family. Family is a blessing in many ways, but it can also present challenges – differing opinions, disrespect, misunderstandings, reminders of past hurts, or plain old getting on each other’s nerves.

If you’re anticipating some challenging situations with your difficult family members this holiday season, you don’t have to feel like a victim. You can plan ahead, use these strategies, and take action.

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries

One of the most straight-forward things you can do to deal with unpleasant family situations, is to avoid them if possible. Boundaries don’t have to come with a side-order of guilt. Empower yourself to say “no” to things you don’t want to do or that will have a negative impact on your own well-being. One of the joys of adulthood is realizing that you have choices. You don’t have to go to your in-laws for Christmas every year and you don’t have to listen to your uncle’s racist jokes. You can politely decline invitations or leave early if things get uncomfortable. Listen to what’s right for you and act accordingly. There is nothing wrong with considering your own needs.

Have an escape plan

Despite our best intentions and efforts, sometimes things do go awry. Psychotherapist Kate Pieper, LMFT created a distress signal with her kids to use at holiday functions. “Our family has always used, ‘My tummy is a little upset right now.’ It’s code for ‘this person is driving me nuts and I need to get away from them ASAP. We don’t ask question about the distress code; we just zoom in to rescue!” So, plan ahead with your friend or partner and have a phrase or signal to let them know you’re ready to leave.

Be aware of past resentments

Sometimes it’s not just what’s going on in the present that interferes with your holiday fun. Your family Christmas party isn’t the best time to rehash old grievances or try to resolve conflicts. Marriage and Family Therapist Michelle Farris recommends: “Watch past assumptions or resentments that get in the way of enjoying the holidays. Your thoughts set the tone but you can look for small ways to connect. Talk about an old memory that makes everyone smile or a favorite movie. Create a bridge by focusing on the good! It begins with you!”

How to Deal with Dysfunctional Family at the Holidays – Set a positive intention

Positive intentions can be powerful ways to improve challenging interpersonal interactions because when you set a positive intention, you start to look for ways to carry it out. Alicia Taverner, LMFT recommends setting intentions about how you want to feel and who you want to connect with before heading out to holiday gatherings. “Thinking, ‘It would be nice if I felt joy at the company Christmas party,’ is different than saying, ‘I intend to feel joy at the company Christmas party’. When you hear a negative comment, or receive an ugly sweater from Aunt Marge, you’re intention of connection or gratitude will shine through, and you will get through that interaction more gracefully than if you hadn’t set forth a positive intention.”

Be open and curious

If you want to keep your holiday gathering positive, try going with an open mind and curious attitude. “Oftentimes people go into family gatherings on edge or defensive and on alert for conflict,” says Stephanie Macadaan, LMFT. This is understandable, if you’ve had a strained relationship or conflict in the past. However, when you assume the worst, you can unconsciously create the exact situation that you’re trying to avoid. “Instead, go with a goal of learning one new thing about each person in attendance. This openness creates an energy that allows for curiosity, the sharing of experiences and connection, a powerful recipe for happiness,” suggests Macadaan.

Surround yourself with positive people and activities

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean isolating yourself. If you’re feeling down or lonely, you may be inclined to just curl up at home and avoid everyone and everything festive, but we all have something meaningful to offer. Giving to others, no matter how small, is a win-win; both the giver and receiver benefit. Dr. Jennifer Huggins reminds us that there’s nothing like giving to others to boost our own mood. She suggests “…notice the mood lifting benefits that giving a stranger a genuine smile, bringing a batch of homemade cookies to your coworkers, or volunteering at a soup kitchen on a holiday gives you.”

Create your own “family”

The reality is that not everyone has positive family interactions at the holidays or any other day of the year. And I know that even when you do your absolute best to set a positive tone, be open and curious, try to keep the conversation light and positive, and take care of yourself, some people are going to push your buttons anyway. You can choose whether to react or not. You have that power.

You also have a choice about whether to see or how much time to spend with difficult family members. You don’t have to subject yourself to stressful or toxic family situations. You can create a “family” of your own choosing by gathering with friends, neighbors, or your faith community. There isn’t one right way to celebrate. Do what’s best for you!

Trying to do things differently this year can be hard, especially when the holidays are steeped in traditions and expectations. Some people prefer to make a radical change all at once and others feel more comfortable easing into change a piece at a time. Again, you can do it your way. I think what’s most important is that it feels true and right for you. You deserve to enjoy your holiday and not let difficult people overshadow the spirit of the season.

*****

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Signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Today

November 30, 2016 by
By
~ 2 min read
maze mind bigst

Signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Today

It’s clear that people from every socio-economic status have experienced one or more life events that have caused emotional trauma, thus creating PTSD. It’s not just a “veteran’s ailment,” and PTSD is gaining needed recognition in the psychotherapeutic healing community.

PTSD can be caused by childhood trauma, financial disasters, recession, loss of employment, loss of a relationally close family member, divorce, loss of home, sudden shift in life responsibilities such as having to be a primary caretaker for an elderly family member, physical and chronic pain, loss of health, or many other scenarios. These chaotic shifts create what neuroscientists are recently exploring in the brain, including cerebral atrophy and loss of gray matter. So becoming aware of PTSD symptoms can be helpful to a person struggling to understand how to seek treatment.

Do you experience one or more of the following symptoms?

  • Wandering of the mind, lack of focus, low memory recollection, especially short-term memory.
  • Flip-flopping with decision making.
  • Loss of confidence and trusting your own instincts.
  • Staying on the surface instead of going deep enough, since it feels too difficult to follow through to the end of a thought process.
  • Limited physical energy; feel exhausted even after small tasks.
  • Limited mental capacity.
  • Social anxiety.
  • Sometimes not being able to separate reality from imagination.
  • Starting something but not able to finish it.
  • Waking up often at night, fitful sleep.
  • Lethargy – physical and/or mental.
  • Hopelessness, despair, depression.
  • Addictive behavior as a form of escape.
  • Making poor choices that generate shame instead of making good choices to alleviate it.
  • Having to lie to someone because you don’t want the shame of saying you’re too tired, you don’t remember, or you can’t think deeply enough right now.
  • Confusion at why you are experiencing this “brain fog” or “shell shock.”
  • Simple things feel laborious and heavy to get through.
  • Feel self-loathing because you aren’t able to accomplish what you used to be able to do.
  • Feel like you have lost control and not able to decide things quickly or at all.
  • Overly protective of personal life and only sharing with safe people who don’t judge you.
  • Feeling as though you’ve slipped from normal functioning to “survival mode.”

It’s very important to understand that experiencing co-occurring disorders as depression and anxiety can be a result of PTSD, so instead of quickly relying on a clinician to prescribe an anti-depressant, know that there are better ways to recover. Medications serve only as a band-aid, suppressing areas of the brain and don’t rewire and heal it. In some cases medications are warranted but they are not a long-term solution and many therapists see them as the “easy solution” instead of encouraging their clients to do cognitive repair work themselves.

Two very successful approaches that have been found to aid in trauma recovery are Self-Care techniques and Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

These can be done yourself after a few sessions with a good psychotherapist who is familiar with both. In many cases, recovery isn’t immediate, especially if you are dealing with a constant or increasing level of chaos. Yet integrating both of these recovery tactics into your life will lead to marked improvements in your capacity to deal with the stressors. Self-care has been shown to increase the gray matter in your brain, better equipping and strengthening it. CBT is a tremendous tool for becoming self-aware and will aid in brain recovery, since you are changing the way you are thinking and responding to the stressors. You will see yourself recalibrating back to what you know as more “normal” for you, and even small shifts in thinking brings great relief.

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How to Practice Gratitude When You’re Feeling Discouraged

November 21, 2016 by

How to Practice Gratitude When You’re Feeling Discouraged

By
~ 1 min read
ben-white-unsplash-1024x684

How to Practice Gratitude When You’re Feeling Discouraged

We need gratitude more than ever

When we’re feeling discouraged, alone, anxious, or angry, it’s hard to be grateful.

We know we’re supposed to feel grateful. It’s Thanksgiving-time after all. But you may be having a hard time tapping into gratitude right now.  Our country is in turmoil, leaving us with a heaviness that’s hard to shake. Or maybe you’re overwhelmed with personal problems. Or perhaps you’re struggling with the extra work, financial hardship, or family turmoil that the holidays can bring.

Gratitude doesn’t always come easy

Sometimes we have to work at feeling grateful. But it’s a worthwhile practice.

There are a lot of good reasons to make a daily gratitude practice part of your life. According to Happify, people who practice gratitude regularly “experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems.”

Practicing gratitude is simple, quick, effective, and free. There aren’t many things that can claim that!

Gratitude brings us back to the present

Instead of worrying about the future, gratitude reminds us of the here and now. Gratitude helps us focus on what’s good, on what’s working rather than what’s not.

Gratitude shifts the focus from problems to positives. When we focus on the good things in our lives, we train our brains to look for the positives. So, by practicing gratitude we will notice more of the good things in the world. Our problems don’t disappear, but they can feel more manageable.

A gratitude challenge

Even when you think gratitude might be helpful, it can still be hard to get started. The following gratitude journal prompts can help spark some ideas. Start small and gradually challenge yourself to find something to be grateful about even in life’s challenges. Write as much or as little as you want, but do try to be consistent so you begin to build the habit.

For the next 14 days, answer the question: “I am grateful for ____________” using each of these prompts. And feel free to add your own and keep the practice going after you’ve done the 14 listed.

  1. Something in nature
  2. A person
  3. Something I can see
  4. A hobby
  5. Something I only do at the holidays
  6. A gift I’ve been given
  7. Something about my health or body
  8. Something I’ve done to help others
  9. A possession
  10. A happy memory
  11. Something that keeps me safe
  12. Something that makes my life easier
  13. A talent
  14. A favorite food

If you take the 14-day gratitude challenge, I’d love to have you add your answers in the comments below. I hope you find it to be a beneficial exercise for bringing more hope and contentment into your life.

Gratitude Journal, Gratitude Challenge

 

 

Photo: Ben White on Upsplash

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Filed Under: Uncategorized

14 Signs Your Working Relationship Has Crossed The Line

November 18, 2016 by

14 Signs Your Working Relationship Has Crossed The Line

By Tarra Bates-Duford, Ph.D., MFT
~ 3 min read

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14 Signs Your Working Relationship Has Crossed The Line

Most office and coworker relationships start off gradually and innocently, i.e., complaints about supervisors or management, sharing jokes, supporting your co-worker through a difficult day at work, giving or soliciting advice, talking about children and family, grabbing a bite to eat, etc.

However, some work relationships extend beyond the office or the company, drifting to personal and inappropriate area like dinners out, social engagements (outside of work), the home, or even a hotel/motel. The term “work spouse” is a term used to describe a relationship between two people who work closely together, often resembling a marital relationship.

Working relationships typically begin hesitantly, cautiously, avoiding or discouraging personal topics and disclosure. However, if boundaries are too flexible or nonexistent they can subtly evolve into emotional affairs by becoming entrenched as the coworkers attempt to meet each others basic needs.

It is quite natural to want to develop relationships with others at work, as this is typically where one spends most of his or her time. Having a best friend at the office to confide in can be a positive, often necessary part of work. Like most things in life, work can be extremely challenging, demanding, stressful, and sometimes thankless. Often stressors associated with work can be a significant motivating factor for coworkers to meet and connect with others who can understand the unique stressors of the job and company environment.

Relationships become questionable or issues begin to arise when coworkers begin to share personal information, are selective with the information they share with their spouses, while freely disclosing the information to a coworker, avoid or hide their relationship with a coworker, or discusses issues/problems within their marriage to the coworker. Unfortunately, some men and women may view “affairs” differently, hence some people may view affairs as a physical act, while others will view an affair as both physical or emotional sharing with another person outside of the marriage or committed relationship.

Work spouse relationships can become increasingly dangerous if coworkers are attracted to each other or develop an attraction to each other. “Work spouses” can accidentally fall into infatuation. Surprisingly, falling into infatuation or lust happens quite often at work. People underestimate the power of infatuation and think they can handle temptation much better than they can. Simply “knowing” that having a romantic relationship with your coworker is wrong is not enough. Committed partners must keep their home, personal, and marital life separate in an effort not to avoid blurring boundaries.

Relationships that begin at work often subtly evolve into emotional affairs by workers meeting the basic human needs of their coworker. While most work relationships usually occur in the following cycle; introduction, respect, rapport, working partnership, and sometimes friendship. Relationships that have crossed boundaries will go beyond friendship to affection, admiration, attraction, inappropriate disclosure, inappropriate closeness, lust or infatuation, and sometimes sex. Once boundaries have become too loose or non-existent, you have crossed the line into very dangerous territory that can have negative consequences for your spouse, marriage, family, and emotional well-being.

Signs Your Work Relationship Has Crossed the Line Include:

· You meet after work for social rather than vocational reasons

· Conversations have moved beyond the topics of work to more personal discussions

· You talk to your co-worker about things you would not or have not discussed with your spouse or partner

· You have disclosed personal information about your spouse

· You make disparaging or insulting remarks about your spouse

· You begin to have lustful thoughts about your coworker

· You start making comparisons between your spouse or partner and your coworker

· You find reasons to constantly be in the company of – or find reasons to touch – your coworker

· You refuse or try to prevent your coworker and spouse from meeting

· You confide in your coworker more than anyone else at your office about work issues

· You delay going home or feign a work emergency just so you can spend more time with your coworker

· You make personal statements or compliments about your coworker’s physicality

· You seek emotional support from your coworker rather than your spouse or partner

· You refer to your coworker as your work husband or work wife

Helpful Tips to Keep Your Working Relationship Professional:

· Stay on topics that focus on work or are otherwise non-personal

· Be transparent with your spouse or partner about your relationship with your coworker

· Provide and insist on clear and defined boundaries in your working relationship

· Don’t say anything to your coworker you wouldn’t say to your spouse or wouldn’t want your spouse or significant other to know

· Keep all physical contact professional, i.e., handshake or pat on the back instead of hugs or shoulder massages

· Avoid disclosing embarrassing or personal information about your spouse, children, and your life in general

· Do not hide or prevent your coworker and spouse from meeting

Although, no one enters a committed relationship or marriage with the intention of cheating on his or her partner, we often spend most of our time at work, away from our partner or spouse, with our coworkers. In most cases, we spend between 40 and 80 hours a week at work, making it easier to gain a lot of information about our coworkers, and develop relationships.

People who work closely together often develop their own “language,” have “inside jokes,” understand the specific stressors of that job, know the internal bureaucracy, etc. Therefore, maintaining both appropriate and healthy boundaries can present as challenges once we start to inappropriately disclose more and more of ourselves to people other than our partners.

Relationships work best when there is openness, honesty, and transparency. Therefore, it is important to avoid inviting others into your romantic relationships. It should be noted that worker relationships can often suffer once boundaries have been blurred. It is very difficult to regain a healthy work relationship once coworkers have crossed the line. Blurring the boundaries at work can lead to additional stress, discomfort, and disdain from having to go to work.

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Co-Occurring Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder

November 15, 2016 by
By
~ 2 min read

Introduction of Co-Occurring Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder

It is not uncommon to see a diagnosis of both an Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder.  According to www.adaa.org, “Making a diagnosis of an anxiety disorder plus bipolar disorder can be confusing, and it is best to seek help from a mental health professional.”  This article will describe some of the signals to observe for, if individuals might be developing an Anxiety Disorder plus Bipolar Disorder.  It will also describe some treatment methods for this co-occurring disorder.

What To Look For

According to www.adaa.org, the following may be present if an Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder is present:

Dr. Simon says, a few clues may suggest the presence of both an anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder:

  • The presence of panic attacks, significant anxiety, nervousness, worry, or fearful avoidance of activities in addition to periods of depression and mania or hypomania.
  • The development of symptoms as a child or young adult, which people with both disorders are more likely to report.
  • Significant problems with sleep and persistent anxiety even when not in a manic state, and lack of response to initial treatment.
  • Increased sensitivity to initial side effects of medication, and sometimes a longer time frame for finding the right medication combination and dosing.

How Do You Treat A Co-Occurring Anxiety Disorder And Bipolar Disorder?

Medication 

According to https://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/bipolar-disorder-2, the following can be stated about the treatment of medication for this co-occurring disorder:

When treating a co-occurring anxiety and bipolar disorder with medication, most doctors first prescribe a mood stabilizer to address the bipolar disorder.  Starting an antidepressant (a common medication approach for anxiety disorders) before mood stabilization is achieved may worsen the bipolar disorder symptoms. However, an antidepressant can trigger manic episodes, even while taking a mood stabilizer.  For this reason, doctors sometimes avoid prescribing antidepressants or prescribe them at a low dose for patients with co-occurring disorders, and they monitor carefully any patients who are taking a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant.

Therapy

According to https://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/bipolar-disorder-2, the following information can be stated about using different types of therapy for the treatment of a co-occurring Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder:

Relaxation Techniques. These techniques may help people develop the ability to cope more effectively with the stresses that contribute to anxiety and mood, as well as with any associated physical symptoms. Breathing re-training, progressive muscle relaxation, and exercise are among the techniques.

Using cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or another evidence-based psychotherapy instead of medication for an anxiety disorder addresses concerns about side effects from taking mood stabilizers with anti-anxiety medications.

Family Therapy. This form of therapy uses strategies to reduce the level of distress within a family that may either contribute to an ill person’s symptoms or result from them.

Conclusion

To summarize, this article has provided readers with triggers for the development of an Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder, as well as different types of treatment methods for an Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder.

 

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Healing After the Election

November 10, 2016 by

By
~ 3 min read

Healing After the Election

healing-after-election

After any acrimonious election — and the election of 2016 will go down in history as one of the worst — there needs to be a time for the country to come together once again and heal. Healing is a normal, healthy part of any good relationship. And in order for our relationship with our government, politicians, and fellow citizens to heal, we need to remember the commonalities that bring us together.

Healing after an election may not be easy for everyone, and it may be especially difficult this election year. But we must heal in order to move forward and continue to grow our great nation.

Historically, Americans have always been fairly good at letting bygones be bygones and moving on. Americans forgave British sympathizers (their neighbors) after the Revolutionary War, and we forgave again (our brothers) after the terrible devastation wrought by the Civil War. A presidential election, all things considered, should be much easier.

Many ordinary Americans find the election process — and government in general — frustrating, opaque, and uncaring of their needs and challenges. Elections give us a time to vent about our frustrations with the economy and government’s seeming inability to “get things done.” No matter who’s in power and who’s nominated, Americans pretty much complain about the same things every election cycle: taxes, lack of jobs, the economy, government interference in our lives, and the perceived strength of our country.

Smart Americans know that government is there to perform the basic functions that help guarantee our access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It’s not there to make sure we don’t do dumb things, make bad choices, or are actually happy.

These same neighbors and citizens also know that the ability to effect real change in America lies not with a President (who has specific, limited powers), but with the legislative body — Congress. If Americans really wanted the change they seem to clamor for every election cycle, they’d spend more time voting out the Congressional incumbents who failed to bring about the change desired.

Healing Begins at Home

If you’ve been on a different page than your spouse, partner, or kids during this election, it’s best to make amends and heal these personal wounds first. Sometimes we say things we don’t really mean in the heat of an argument. Such things may be said out of frustration or anger. Now is the time to apologize for such remarks and acknowledge that some elections can be more acrimonious and frustrating than others. But it is no excuse not to treat others with the same respect we all want and deserve.

Do you really want to sink a whole friendship — based upon years or even decades of shared experiences — over a single election? For most people, the answer is no. Reach out to friends who were on the other side and make amends there, too.

Healing Continues at Work & with Neighbors

Maybe you’ve had one of those yard signs on your front lawn that stood out among a sea of your opponent’s signs. Maybe you’re the one person in your office or on the job site who seemed to be for your candidate. It’s time to say, “Hey, that was some election, but I’m glad it’s over and we can all get on with our lives,” and hope others hear your conciliatory tone.

Unless you went way over the top, there’s no need to apologize for your choice of candidates or your passion in arguing for your candidate (as long as you were respectful when doing so). If you did go over the top or cross a line, you should try to find a quiet, private place to make your apologies to those you may have offended. Doing so will go a long way to healing any hurt feelings at your workplace.

Healing Must Occur in Government, Too

Americans didn’t elect politicians to sit in their chairs and make speeches that nobody listens to. We elected them to do their job of running this nation’s business and getting the job done. Any politician who refuses to do his or her job — which includes rational discussion, negotiation, and compromise (as has always been the case) — needs to resign or face not being re-elected come next election. Citizens have said time and time again that they want a government that does its job — not one that just obstructs work from being accomplished.

Politicians must reach across the aisle and find the shared commonalities they have with one another — their pride in being American, their belief in the American work ethic, and the knowledge that together they can accomplish great things for our great country.

Here’s to the next four years of coming together again as one people, standing behind our President and elected officials, and moving forward. Because it is only together that we can make simple work of hard, complicated issues.

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5 Crucial Reasons You Should Talk More

November 7, 2016 by
5 Crucial Reasons You Should Talk More
By
~ 3 min read
communication

Have you ever been sitting on a subway or plane and felt annoyed because the person next to you keeps trying to chat and chat and chat?

One thing we know about human nature is that there are introverts and extroverts in this world, and everyone falls somewhere on that continuum. Some people seem to be programmed to talk and engage, while others are genetically programmed the opposite way.

But what makes some people less talkative than others? Is it as simple as genetics? I don’t think so.

Wives complain about their husbands’ one-word responses; my clients often tell me that they feel a deep loneliness, even when they are surrounded by people. I’ve heard many stories about lovely folks standing alone at parties, feeling awkward, and waiting until enough time passed so that they could go home.

Are all of these people introverts? Maybe, but many of them had another good reason to be in their predicaments. Unbeknownst to them, they had built a wall between themselves and everyone else. A wall that acted as a hurdle for the words that they could and should speak. A wall that took their voice, and bounced it right back at them and a wall that whispered,

That’s not important enough to say

Talking is annoying

Talking is useless

You have nothing to offer in this conversation

Sadly, all of these people are being deprived of one of nature’s most valuable tools: communication, and all of the wonderful benefits that come with it.

5 Reasons You Should Talk More

  1. Boost your mood:
    Imagine running errands, feeling hurried. Anxiously waiting in line at the pharmacy, the woman standing behind you says, “Excuse me can I ask you a question? Where did you get those shoes? My husband’s been looking for some just like that and can’t find them anywhere.” You have a brief discussion in which you make a tiny joke and she laughs. Studies show that these types of small, meaningless encounters boost your mood. A connecting moment with another human being releases a neurotransmitter in your brain called oxytocin. This chemical has been shown by research to have an anti-anxiety effect. It gives you a feeling of well-being, and may increase human empathy. It’s not just you; the woman you just spoke with will have a similar boost in mood.
  2. Think things through: Talking with a stranger at the pharmacy is one thing. Talking with a trusted person you are close with is quite another. There is great value in saying aloud something that you are working on in your mind. Worried about your daughter? Wondering if you should change jobs? Thinking you should buy a new car? Simply putting what’s in your head out there to another person forces you to own it. The response of the other person gives you input. This back-and-forth process helps you draw new conclusions and may even give you new ideas. It’s all good.
  3. Become more interesting: Talking less may feel safer. You’re unlikely to offend another person by saying nothing. However, the risk of being a quiet person is appearing uninteresting to others. Putting something out there (almost anything) gives others something to grab onto and something to remember you by. Unless you’re gabbing on and on about minutia, talking makes you relatable and interesting.
  4. Rewire your brain: If you’re a non-talker, you are probably being stopped by a combination of introversion, (which is fine and great; we’re not trying to change that here); and your wall. The wall was likely erected in your childhood as a result of subtle or overt messages from your family that your voice was not particularly welcome or interesting. Overriding those messages now as an adult, as often as you can, automatically starts to break through that wall. You can rewire your brain over time, and talking and interacting will become easier and easier for you.
  5. Have deeper, more valuable relationships: Every word you say empowers you. Every word allows other people in your life to know you better. Every word you say encourages another person to say something back, which allows you to know them better. The better you know each other, the deeper your relationship goes. Deeper relationships are more meaningful, more resilient and more valuable than shallow ones.

If you are an introvert, the idea of talking more may feel energy-draining. If that’s the case, it’s important to listen to your body’s needs and take care of yourself. However, research shows that talking and engaging with other people actually makes introverts happier. So there is a balance, and it’s important not to give in to silence.

Reduce your anxiety, become more interesting, break through your wall, and improve your relationships. All can come from one little habit that you can cultivate in yourself.

SO TALK

To learn more about the messages you received in childhood, your wall, and how to overcome it all, see EmotionalNeglect.comand the book, Running on Empty.

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Bipolar Vs. Schizophrenia

October 28, 2016 by

Bipolar vs. Schizophrenia

By Lauren Walters – 1 min read in www.psychcentral.com

Bipolar versus Schizophrenia

Bipolar versus Schizophrenia

Introduction

According to healthline.com, “Bipolar disorder and schizophrenia are two different chronic mental disorders. People can sometimes mistake the symptoms of bipolar disorder for schizophrenia symptoms.” To explain further according to this specific source, Bipolar Disorder and schizophrenia can be confused with one another. However, they are two different disorders. This particular article will address the differences between Bipolar Disorder and schizophrenia.

What Is Bipolar Disorder?

According to healthline.com, “Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder. It causes sudden and strong shifts in energy, mood, and activity levels. A person with bipolar disorder will switch between extreme excitement, or mania, and depression. These shifts can affect your ability to perform daily activities.” To sum it up, Bipolar Disorder consists of sudden shifts in mood and energy.

What Is Schizophrenia?

According to healthline.com, “Schizophrenia isn’t as common as bipolar disorder. The symptoms are more severe than the symptoms of bipolar disorder, but it’s highly treatable. People with schizophrenia experience hallucinations and delusions. Hallucinations involve seeing or hearing things that aren’t there. Delusions are beliefs in things that aren’t true.” To explain further, schizophrenia consists of hallucinations and delusions.

What Are The Differences Between Bipolar Disorder And Schizophrenia?

According to healthline.com, the onset of Bipolar Disorder and schizophrenia appear at different points in an individual’s life. According to healthline.com, “Bipolar disorder affects approximately 2.2 % of people in the United States. It usually first appears between the late teen years and early adulthood. Children can also show signs of bipolar disorder. Schizophrenia affects 1.1% of the population. People usually find out they have it between the ages of 16 and 30. Schizophrenia isn’t usually seen in children.” Therefore, to summarize, Bipolar Disorder affects more of the population than schizophrenia does. In addition, Bipolar Disorder can show up in childhood, while Schizophrenia usually shows up between the ages of 16 and 30 and is not seen in childhood.

Conclusion

To end this article, Bipolar Disorder and schizophrenia may appear similar to the human eye, especially since individuals with Bipolar Disorder and schizophrenia can both experience symptoms associated with psychosis. However, this is just one similarity between Bipolar Disorder and schizophrenia. On a contrasting note, they are actually quite different from one another. To recap, Bipolar Disorder is more common than schizophrenia, appearing in 2.2% and 1.1% of the population, respectively. In addition, Bipolar Disorder can appear in as early as childhood, while schizophrenia is not known to appear in childhood, rather appearing between the ages of 16 years old to 30 years old.

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What Social Anxiety Feels Like and Where It Comes From

October 9, 2016 by
What Social Anxiety Feels Like and Where It Comes From

What Social Anxiety Feels Like and Where It Comes From

What Social Anxiety Feels Like and Where It Comes From

March 31, 2016 • By Ben Ringler, MFT, GoodTherapy.org Topic Expert Contributor

Do you often dread parties, anxiously fearing awkward conversations that expose the contents of your mind for all to see?

Do you cringe at the thought of meeting people?

Around others, do you find yourself spinning with worry about what they think of you or how you measure up?

These are just a few of the manifestations of social anxiety.

Social anxiety can be a paralyzing, frustrating, and chaotic experience. It’s a very out-of-control feeling that can leave you very torn: torn between the human need to be social and connected to others and the feeling of wanting to run away and hide from what feels like an oppressive, all-consuming monster. It can feel as though you have no clothes and no skin—as if people can see right inside you.

And when you’re alone again, away from the social scene, you may notice your immediate relief being slowly replaced by feelings of isolation, disappointment with yourself, and hopelessness.

Social anxiety can derive from many sources: early traumatic experiences, generalized anxiety expressing itself in particular ways, and a more sensitive disposition interacting with a highly stimulating world, among others.

In the paragraphs that follow, I want to address one aspect of social anxiety and offer some tips for how to think about and work with it. Specifically, I want to discuss how social anxiety can be a reflection of what is happening for you on the inside.

Social Anxiety as an Internal Mirror Image

If you struggle with social anxiety, you may be projecting onto the outside world what you feel inside, perhaps partially or entirely unconsciously. Inside, you may feel the (self-fulfilling) constellation of thoughts and feelings you notice in social settings:

Social anxiety can derive from many sources: early traumatic experiences, generalized anxiety expressing itself in particular ways, and a more sensitive disposition interacting with a highly stimulating world, among others.

  • Anxious anticipation of socializing or being with people, about being judged or exposed, or just having to deal with awkward conversations.
  • Heightened anxiety (maybe manifesting in sweaty palms, pale skin, or rapid heartbeat) in a social setting, particularly if you feel what you anticipated you’d feel: anxiety, feeling judged, awkwardness, and the feeling you don’t belong.
  • Often what goes along with this, even when things are going OK, is a running inner commentary of comparison: how everyone else is NOT anxious, just you. How everyone else is able to connect and has so much to say and is so articulate, just not you.
  • Depending on how difficult it gets, you may want to run, but first have to devise the best escape route in order to not attract attention.

These thoughts and feelings may echo how you felt as a child in your family of origin. If so, you may have internalized them, and now replay them in social settings of one type or another.

Specifically, as a child, you may have felt alone, anxious, and not quite adequate in relation to your family. Especially if there was anxiety, insecurity, or self-criticism in the family system, and no one was really aware of or dealing with it, you may have internalized it and made it your own.

Attending to Your Inner World

In order to reduce social anxiety, especially if the family scene I described resonates for you, it’s important to attend to your inner world in a consistent way. Here are five steps you can take:

  1. In a journal, draw a line down the center. On the left, write “Family Environment” and on the right, “Social Anxiety.”
  2. Spend some time thinking about your family environment. Look for any similarities you experience in your social anxiety and your childhood. Specifically, was there a lot of criticism? Anxiety? Did you feel judged? Insecure? Write your observations down in the left-hand column.
  3. Track the thoughts and feelings you notice in social settings. (This is a great exercise because it distracts from your anxious thoughts and gives you an immediate tool to work with your anxiety.) Write down any repetitive thoughts and feelings you experience in the right-hand column.
  4. Take some time and compare and contrast. You might be surprised how much you learn about how your past affects your present experience. Write down any insights and, especially, feel whatever feelings arise.
  5. When feeling social anxiety, breathe into your belly consistently. Reassure yourself. Tell yourself that, most likely, everyone in the room is anxious in one way or another.

These are some great initial steps that may open your eyes to how your inner world, especially memories and emotion, affects your present-day experience. For more in-depth work and permanent change, psychotherapy is an excellent way to work with social anxiety because you can, in real time, observe and share your anxious thoughts with a trained professionalwho can help you navigate the memories and hurts that keep you from having a more satisfying social life.

© Copyright 2016 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. Permission to publish granted by Ben Ringler, MFT, therapist in Berkeley, California

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

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