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What to Expect on your First Therapy Session

For some people the idea of going to therapy and talking to a therapist can be quite the daunting and uncomfortable proposition. The idea of paying a stranger to sit with you and talk about some of the most vulnerable, embarrassing or traumatic parts of your life can be scary or
challenging. Even for me, as a therapist, meeting with a therapist for the first time can be quite the nerve wracking experience. Sometimes the neutrality and objectivity of talking to someone you don’t know can help you move forward and make the changes you want in your life. Here I plan to tell you what you should expect from your first therapy session.

The first thing that you want to keep in mind when it comes to the first session is that you do not have to say everything about you or everything you have experienced in this session. Feel free to take things slow and to share only what you feel comfortable sharing. In a therapist’s mind this is only the start of your therapy journey so feel free to start with what you are comfortable talking about and building a relationship with your therapist. The therapist wants to build a relationship of trust with you in order to make having those difficult conversations easier. Also feel free to ask questions to your therapist about your concerns about the therapy or the journey that you are about to embark on. Remember the therapist wants to get to know you better and he/she will use various different methods to do that. Some of these can be through assessments, surveys or forms that he/she may have you complete prior to the first session. One of the most important things is that you are in control of what is discussed during this session so make the session about what you want to talk about.

First sessions with a therapist can be terrifying to some people and that is totally fine and normal. I hope this has helped ease some of your fears or concerns about the first session. If you still have questions, concerns or feel ready to take the next step and schedule your first session
then feel free to reach out!

Written by Nicholas Pujol, Registered Mental Health Intern #27522

The Nicer Technique

Over the past month, I have been on a self-discovery journey, working to heal the inner parts of me, just as my clients do when they come to see me. During this journey, as I am going to my own therapy session, I have taken up reading some self-help books. The one that I have had
the biggest breakthroughs with is “Are you mad at me” by Meg Josephson. She speaks about pleasing people and trauma responses. I would highly recommend reading it. However, during this reading session, she spoke about a technique she works on with her clients and herself,
which I then tried myself: NICER. This acronym stands for:

N-Notice
I-Invite
C-Curious
E-Embrace
R-Return

The first is Notice, so notice the feeling that is coming up for you, whether it is fear, embarrassment, or loneliness. Then invite that feeling to stay for a little bit rather than running away or distracting yourself from it. Next, slightly ask the question “where do you come from?”
Be curious about this feeling. Second to last is to embrace it. “I see you fear, and that is okay”. This fear has protected me, but I no longer need it. Lastly is to return. Return to where you are by doing some grounding or coping strategies. Deep breaths or sense exercises. This technique allows you to learn more about where these feelings come from and accept them as part of you for right now. These feelings served as a warning or a protection and are there for a reason. So by pushing them down or running from them makes the thoughts and feelings louder. Talking to them and calming yourself down can help you begin to embrace those parts of yourself.

Written Tiya Delson, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

The Healer Needs Healing Too: Self-Care for Mental Health Professionals

As mental health professionals, we dedicate ourselves to holding space for others offering safety, empathy, and stability in moments of crisis and vulnerability. But in doing this essential work, we often overlook one simple truth: healers need healing too. Self-care isn’t indulgence. It is a necessary, ethical component of our practice. In fact, the American Counseling Association (ACA) states that counselors have an obligation to engage in self-care practices to maintain their effectiveness and avoid impairment (ACA, 2014). Let’s explore how to prioritize our own mental well-being while continuing to support others.

1. Acknowledge Your Humanity
It may seem obvious, but it’s essential: mental health professionals are human. We experience grief, exhaustion, joy, and confusion just like our clients. Emotional labor takes a toll over time, especially in trauma-exposed environments (Figley, 2002). Giving ourselves permission to feel and to tend to our emotional needs fosters longevity in the field.

Tip: Reflective journaling, supervision, and debriefing with peers can help mitigate the impact of vicarious trauma.

2. Set Boundaries That Protect You
The ability to model healthy boundaries begins with maintaining our own. Chronic overextension, responding to messages after hours, or skipping breaks can lead to compassion fatigue and burnout (Maslach & Leiter, 2016). Clear boundaries are not barriers they are bridges
to healthier, more sustainable helping relationships.

Tip: Designate work hours and personal hours and honor them consistently.

3. Embrace Rest and Joy Without Guilt
We often delay rest under the illusion that we must “earn” it. But rest is not a reward; it is essential. Engaging in activities unrelated to our work promotes resilience and helps prevent emotional exhaustion (Skovholt & Trotter-Mathison, 2016). Joy is not just a luxury it’s
protective.

Tip: Schedule time for joy: dancing, painting, resting, gardening, or anything that brings life back into your body.

4. Utilize Your Own Support System
Seeking supervision or therapy is not a sign of weakness it’s a sign of insight. The National Association of Social Workers (NASW, 2017) encourages professionals to seek support when personal problems interfere with professional functioning. Regular check-ins with a therapist,
coach, or supervisor reinforce our ethical commitment to client care and our own wellness.

Tip: Normalize therapy for the therapist. Your clients benefit when you are supported too.

5. Engage in Regular Self-Check-Ins
Burnout rarely arrives all at once it builds quietly. Routine self-check-ins can help you track emotional well-being and intervene early. Are you feeling hopeful? Are you dreading sessions? Are you experiencing emotional numbness? These signs matter and deserve attention.

Tip: Use a simple weekly “check-in scale” (1–10) to track how fulfilled, energized, and supported you feel in your work.

Final Thoughts: You Matter Too
Mental health professionals are change agents, emotional caregivers, and resilience-builders. But we cannot pour from an empty cup. The work we do is important—but so is our well-being. Self-care is not optional. It is a professional responsibility and a personal right.
You are worthy of the same care and compassion you offer others.

Written by Sherline Herard, MH24002 Licensed Mental Health Counselor

References
American Counseling Association. (2014). ACA Code of Ethics.
https://www.counseling.org/resources/aca-code-of-ethics.pdf

Figley, C. R. (2002). Compassion fatigue: Psychotherapists’ chronic lack of self-care.
Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58(11), 1433–1441. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.10090

Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Burnout. In G. Fink (Ed.), Stress: Concepts,
Cognition, Emotion, and Behavior (pp. 351–357). Academic Press.

National Association of Social Workers. (2017). NASW Code of Ethics.
https://www.socialworkers.org/About/Ethics/Code-of-Ethics/Code-of-Ethics-English

Skovholt, T. M., & Trotter-Mathison, M. (2016). The resilient practitioner: Burnout
prevention and self-care strategies for counselors, therapists, teachers, and health
professionals (3rd ed.). Routledge.

How to Set Realistic Traditions So the Holidays Do Not Feel Like a Performance

The holidays often come with a long list of expectations. Decorations, gatherings, gifts, and perfect moments can make the season feel more like something we are supposed to “perform” rather than something we get to enjoy. Many people find themselves moving through the motions without feeling connected to what truly matters.
Several things can contribute to this pressure. Social media shows highly curated versions of the holidays. Family patterns can make us feel obligated to maintain traditions that no longer fit our lives. A natural desire to please others can also lead to doing far more than we have the capacity for.
A healthier holiday season starts with identifying your realistic capacity for this year. Your energy and emotional bandwidth shift depending on what you have been carrying. Ask yourself what feels nourishing, what feels draining, and what you have been doing only out of guilt or habit. Awareness helps you stay grounded and prevents burnout.
Once you start exploring your capacity, let your values guide the traditions you keep. What brings you joy? Even if it’s something small, like having a cup of hot chocolate, can be a great place to start if you’re finding it difficult to brainstorm. If connection is important to you, a small and cozy gathering may feel far more meaningful than a large event. If rest is your priority, simple decorating might be enough. When your choices align with your values and what brings you joy, the season becomes more intentional.
It’s also okay to release traditions that no longer serve you. Letting go can bring up guilt, but traditions are meant to evolve as you do. Communicating your needs gently can help others adjust, but your well-being is still important even if others resist the change.
When you simplify, you create space for presence, connection, and comfort. Doing less does not mean you care less. It means you are choosing a holiday that feels authentic and sustainable. This season, consider asking yourself: What would it look like if I allowed the holidays to be simple and meaningful instead of perfect?

Written by Brittani Garcia, M.A.

Clinical Mental Health Counseling Intern
Cape Coral Therapists

Helping Kids Manage Holiday Stress and Anxiety: A Parent’s Guide

The holidays are a time for joy and celebration—but they can also bring stress, especially for children who thrive on routine and predictability especially those who deal with social anxiety. Last month, we asked parents about their biggest concerns during the holiday season. Unsurprisingly, the top concern was how to prepare kids for the many events and changes that come with the holidays.

It’s completely normal to feel this way. As exciting as the season can be, it can also feel overwhelming for both kids and caregivers. But here’s the good news: two simple ideas—comfort and routine—can make all the difference. By keeping these concepts in mind, you can help your child navigate holiday festivities with more ease.

And remember: It’s okay to take it slow and savor the moment. The holidays are also a time to create new memories with loved ones, even if things don’t go perfectly. To help, we’ve put together a flexible game plan to make this season (and other big events, like weddings or birthdays) more manageable for your family.

The Science of Routine and Anxiety
Why is routine so important for managing stress and anxiety—especially for children? Here are some research-backed reasons:

1. Predictability Reduces Uncertainty: When children know what to expect, it eliminates the anxiety that comes with the unknown. A consistent routine acts as an “anchor” during stressful times.

2. Builds a Sense of Control: Familiar routines give children a sense of stability and control, which can significantly lower stress.

3. Lowers Cortisol Levels: Studies show that predictable routines can reduce cortisol, the stress hormone, helping kids feel calmer in potentially overwhelming situations.

4. Supports Emotional Regulation: Routine provides opportunities to practice and regulate emotions in familiar settings, making it easier to manage those feelings during new or challenging situations.

By integrating routine into holiday preparations, you provide a safe framework for your child to navigate the season with more confidence and calmness.

Your Holiday Game Plan for Stress-Free Events

1. Prepare with Social Stories
Help your child understand what to expect using social stories—simple visuals or narratives that outline the day’s events step by step. For example:

  • Getting ready for the gathering.
  • Arriving at the location.
  • Greeting family members.
  • Activities like eating or playing.
  • Saying goodbye at the end.

Social stories are powerful tools for helping kids adjust to new situations and process emotions. They can also ease transitions by giving your child a clear roadmap of what’s ahead.

(you can find our example Social Story here)

2. Practice Positive Behaviors in Advance
Set your child up for success by practicing situations they might encounter. For example:

  • If you’re attending a buffet-style dinner, practice waiting in line and taking turns.
  • Role-play greetings with family members.
  • Show pictures of guests in advance so your child can recognize familiar faces.

This kind of preparation builds confidence and creates a sense of routine and familiarity.

3. Plan for Early Arrival
Arriving before the crowd gives your child time to adjust to the new environment. If possible, ask the host if you can arrive early. Use this quiet time to:

  • Let your child explore the space.
  • Review the social story together.
  • Discuss who will be there and what activities to expect.

This can help reduce anxiety and make your child feel more at ease.

4. Provide Preferred Food Options
Mealtime can be tricky, but a little planning goes a long way! Check with the host about the menu or bring a backup meal your child enjoys. This ensures they’ll have something familiar to eat, making the experience more comfortable for everyone.

5. Promote Sensory Comfort
Holiday gatherings can be overstimulating. Be ready to support your child’s sensory needs by:

  • Bringing headphones to block out noise.
  • Providing favorite toys, books, or a tablet for downtime.
  • Allowing breaks to walk around or sit in a quieter area.

Encourage your child to use tools and strategies that help them self-regulate, whether it’s fidget toys, deep breaths, or simply stepping away when needed.

A Final Thought
The holiday season is filled with joy but can also feel overwhelming with its endless to-do lists and family obligations. By focusing on comfort and routine, you can create a more relaxed and enjoyable experience for your child—and yourself.

Remember, every family is unique, and this game plan is meant to be adaptable. Use what works best for your child, and don’t be afraid to take breaks, adjust plans, or simply focus on what matters most: spending meaningful time together.

Happy Holidays from our team to yours! 

Written by Johana Calvo, IMFT, BCaBA – Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern

Men’s Mental Health: More Than a Mustache

Every November, Movember invites men to grow mustaches—not for style, but for survival. It’s a visible reminder that men’s health matters, especially their mental and emotional well-being. Beneath the humor lies a sobering reality: too many men are fighting silent battles, smiling through exhaustion, loneliness, and pain that runs far deeper than words can reach.

Research continues to confirm what counselors see daily: men are far less likely to seek mental health support, yet they are far more likely to die by suicide (World Health Organization, 2021). Cultural norms that define masculinity as stoic, unemotional, and self-sufficient often prevent men from reaching out before it’s too late (Mahalik, Burns, & Syzdek, 2007; Seidler, Dawes, Rice, Oliffe, & Dhillon, 2016). That “be tough” script may look strong on the surface, but over time it becomes a cage—trapping emotions men were never meant to carry alone.

As a Christian counselor and pastor, I’ve learned that the enemy’s greatest tactic isn’t always destruction—it’s disconnection. When a man loses his voice, he begins to lose himself. Scripture reminds us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). Healing begins when men stop isolating and start connecting—with God, with others, and with their own emotions. In my practice, I work from an integrative model rooted in Adlerian, Gestalt, CBT, and Person-Centered approaches to name a few (Corey, 2024; Sperry & Sperry, 2020), blended with biblical integration (Tan, 2011; McMinn, 2017). This framework—what I call a Psychopnuemasomatic lens—addresses the whole person: mind, body, and spirit. Healing isn’t just emotional adjustment; it’s spiritual transformation. A man doesn’t just learn to manage stress; he learns to rediscover purpose, reclaim identity, and realign with God’s design for his life.

Movember isn’t just about growing mustaches—it’s about growing awareness, courage, and brotherhood. If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, shame, or anger, you don’t have to carry it alone. True strength isn’t silence—it’s the courage to speak, to seek help, and to start healing.

If you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen. You can reach me directly at 941-667-7455, by email at tmluster@seu.edu, or through my counseling page: fortmyerstherapist.com.

Your story matters. Your healing matters. And it’s never too late to reclaim the man God designed you to be.
References
– Corey, G. (2024). Theory and practice of counseling and psychotherapy (11th ed.). Cengage Learning.
– Mahalik, J. R., Burns, S. M., & Syzdek, M. (2007). Masculinity and perceived normative health behaviors as predictors of men’s health behaviors. Social Science & Medicine, 64(11), 2201–2209.
– McMinn, M. R. (2017). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling (2nd ed.). Tyndale House.
– Seidler, Z. E., Dawes, A. J., Rice, S. M., Oliffe, J. L., & Dhillon, H. M. (2016). The role of masculinity in men’s help-seeking for depression: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 49, 106–118.
– Sperry, L., & Sperry, J. (2020). Case conceptualization: Mastering this competency with ease and confidence (3rd ed.). Routledge.
– Tan, S.-Y. (2011). Counseling and psychotherapy: A Christian perspective. Baker Academic.
– World Health Organization. (2021). Suicide worldwide in 2019: Global health estimates. World Health Organization.

Attachment and Healing: Why Relationships in Therapy Matter

When we think of therapy, we often imagine sitting across from a kind, quiet professional, talking about our past or processing today’s struggles. But one of the most powerful forces for healing isn’t just the talking — it’s the relationship that forms in the room.

At the heart of many emotional wounds is a story about attachment — how we learned (or didn’t learn) to feel safe, loved, and seen in connection with others. In therapy, we’re given a chance to write a new story.

What Is Attachment?

Attachment is the emotional bond we form with our caregivers early in life. Through this bond, we begin to answer foundational questions:

● Is the world safe?

● Will others show up for me when I’m hurting?

● Is it okay to need, to cry, to ask for help?

● Can I trust love to stay?

When early relationships are secure, we often grow up feeling emotionally balanced, confident, and connected. But when caregivers are inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, overly controlling, or unable to meet our needs, we may carry forward wounds that quietly shape how we relate — not just to others, but to ourselves.

How Attachment Wounds Show Up

Attachment wounds don’t always come from overt trauma. They often live in the small, unspoken patterns of everyday life:

● Feeling like you’re “too much” or “not enough”

● Difficulty trusting others

● Fear of abandonment — or fear of being smothered

● Craving constant reassurance, or pushing people away

● Loneliness, even when you’re in a relationship

● A belief that love must be earned, managed, or controlled

Terms like anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment styles describe these responses —not as flaws, but as adaptive strategies. Your nervous system learned how to protect you, even if it made closeness feel unsafe.

Why Therapy Can Heal Attachment Wounds

Therapy offers something profoundly rare: a consistent, attuned relationship where you’re allowed to be fully human — messy, guarded, emotional, angry, needy, silent — and still be met with warmth and care.

Healing begins when:

● You risk vulnerability and are still accepted

● You express anger or fear and the therapist stays

● You explore shame, grief, or longing without being judged

● You begin to feel worthy — not because you’re perfect, but because you’re you

The therapeutic relationship can become a secure base — a place where your attachment system gently begins to rewire. You learn, over time, that you don’t have to perform, shrink, or disappear to be loved.

What Healing From Attachment Looks Like:

Healing attachment wounds doesn’t mean you’ll never feel anxious, triggered, or scared again. It means:

● You notice those patterns more quickly

● You communicate your needs with more clarity and less fear

● You recognize who feels safe — and who doesn’t

● You offer yourself grace when old wounds resurface

● You create relationships rooted in respect, reciprocity, and emotional safety

You begin to relate — to yourself and others — not from fear or survival, but from self-trust and inner steadiness.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever felt like something is wrong with the way you love or connect, know this: you are not broken. You are a human being who adapted in the best way you could to the relationships and experiences that shaped you.

Therapy doesn’t “fix” you — because you were never broken. It offers you a space to come home to yourself, one session, one relationship, one breath at a time. Your healing is possible — and it begins in relationship.

Written by Jennifer Freel, Registered Mental Health Intern IMH26129

The Therapeutic Power of Cold Exposure

In recent years, cold exposure therapy has gained attention not only among athletes and biohackers, but also within the mental health and wellness communities. While it might seem counterintuitive to voluntarily plunge into icy water or expose the body to freezing temperatures,
a growing body of evidence suggests that cold exposure can be a powerful adjunct to therapeutic practices for both mind and body.

Cold exposure involves deliberately subjecting the body to cold temperatures for short periods, typically through ice baths, cold showers, cryotherapy chambers, or natural bodies of cold water. The idea is not to induce suffering, but rather to activate the body’s adaptive systems
in a controlled and beneficial way.

Research and anecdotal reports have shown that cold exposure can significantly support mental health. One of the key mechanisms is the activation of the sympathetic nervous system and the release of endorphins, dopamine, and norepinephrine. These neurochemicals are
associated with improved mood, increased alertness, and reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety. Cold exposure also promotes resilience. When practiced regularly, it helps individuals build a tolerance to stress—a process called hormesis. This controlled, short-term stress can enhance the body’s ability to manage long-term stressors, making it a useful tool in treating anxiety disorders, PTSD, and chronic stress.

On the physical side, cold exposure reduces inflammation and muscle soreness, making it a common recovery tool for athletes. But its benefits extend further—it can help regulate blood sugar, improve sleep, support immune function, and even increase metabolism through the activation of brown fat. Chronic inflammation has been linked to a wide range of health issues, including autoimmune diseases and depression. Cold therapy’s anti-inflammatory effects can therefore play a role in integrative treatment plans for these conditions.

While cold exposure might seem like a purely physical challenge, the real transformation happens in the brain. The mental health benefits of cold therapy are rooted in powerful shifts in neurochemistry, stress regulation, and brain plasticity. Cold exposure triggers the release of
norepinephrine, a key neurotransmitter involved in focus, attention, and mood regulation. Studies have shown that norepinephrine levels can increase two- to five-fold during cold immersion. This surge helps sharpen mental clarity and boost energy levels. Emerging evidence suggests that cold exposure disrupts the default mode network, the brain system responsible for self-referential thinking, rumination, and mind-wandering. Overactivity in the DMN is commonly observed in depression and anxiety. Cold exposure, particularly to the face or neck (like with cold showers or breath-focused practices), stimulates the vagus nerve—a key player in the parasympathetic nervous system. Improving vagal tone has been shown to enhance emotional regulation, calm the body after stress, and support mental recovery.

Cold exposure is not a cure-all, but it can be a powerful complement to traditional therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), talk therapy, medication, and mindfulness practices. When used mindfully and with guidance—especially for individuals with heart conditions or mental health sensitivities—it can support deeper healing and transformation.

In summary, cold exposure therapy taps into our body’s primal systems to boost resilience, clarity, and well-being. It offers a simple, natural, and surprisingly accessible way to enhance both physical and emotional health, making it a compelling addition to holistic therapy
approaches.

Always consult a healthcare provider before beginning any cold exposure regimen.

Written by Sophie Gengler, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

The Exhaustion of Never Being Enough

How Self-Improvement Culture Hurts Mental Health
 
Everywhere we look, there are messages telling us to be better. Read this book, try that routine! Meditate in the morning, journal before bed. At first, these things can be helpful. But after a while, it can start to feel like a job you can never finish.
 
Self-improvement is often sold as the answer to happiness; however, it can leave people feeling burned out and never good enough. Social media often makes this even worse. We see others showing off their perfect routines and achievements, which can make us feel like we are falling behind. Instead of feeling inspired, we may feel pressured and anxious.
 
Researchers have found that this pressure is connected to perfectionism and burnout. One study showed that people who constantly worry about making mistakes or not measuring up are more likely to feel exhausted and stuck in cycles of negative thinking (Limburg et. al., 2017). Another study found that burnout is often tied to low self-worth, especially when people feel they always need to prove themselves (Carmassi et al., 2025).
 
The problem is not the tools themselves. Meditation, therapy, and journaling can all be extremely powerful tools. The problem comes when growth becomes a race. When every part of life is about improving, rest starts to feel like something you have to earn, instead of something you deserve.
 
True growth often begins when we stop pushing so hard. It comes from kindness toward ourselves, not from endless “fixing”.Try this today: write down one way you are already enough, without changing anything. Keep it simple! Let it remind you that you do not have to earn your worth.
 
 
Sources:
 
Carmassi, C., Bertelloni, C. A., Dell’Oste, V., Pedrinelli, V., Cordone, A., Bargagna, P., … Dell’Osso, L. (2025). Burnout, resilience, and self-esteem in healthcare workers: A mediation analysis. Frontiers in Public Health, 13, 1537352. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpubh.2025.1537352
 
Limburg, K., Watson, H. J., Hagger, M. S., & Egan, S. J. (2017). The relationship between perfectionism and psychopathology: A meta-analysis. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 73(10), 1301–1326. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22435
 

Prioritizing Mental Health When Going Back to School

Going back to school can be exciting but also bring a wave of stress, pressure, and anxiety. Whether you’re a student, parent, or educator, the transition from summer break to another school year is a major shift that can impact one’s mental health in several ways.

For students, returning to class can mean academic expectations, social challenges, and the pressure to perform. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings rather than dismiss them. Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re not good enough; it means you’re human. Creating a routine that includes sleep, time for fun, and self-care can make a huge difference in maintaining one’s mental well-being throughout the year.

Parents, too, may feel the stress of new schedules, homework battles, or supporting children with their mental health struggles. It’s okay to seek support and remember that you don’t have to have all the answers. Simply being present and listening can help your child feel more secure.

As the school year begins, let’s normalize conversations about mental health. Encourage students to speak up if they’re struggling. Support each other with empathy and patience. And most importantly, know that it’s okay to ask for help, whether from a counselor, teacher, parent, or peer.

School is more than just grades; it’s about growth, and growth is never linear. By putting mental health at the forefront, we set ourselves up not just for academic success but for a healthier and more balanced life.

Written by Antonio Garland, Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern #4363