Written by Brittani Garcia, M.A.
How to Set Realistic Traditions So the Holidays Do Not Feel Like a Performance
Helping Kids Manage Holiday Stress and Anxiety: A Parent’s Guide
The holidays are a time for joy and celebration—but they can also bring stress, especially for children who thrive on routine and predictability especially those who deal with social anxiety. Last month, we asked parents about their biggest concerns during the holiday season. Unsurprisingly, the top concern was how to prepare kids for the many events and changes that come with the holidays.
It’s completely normal to feel this way. As exciting as the season can be, it can also feel overwhelming for both kids and caregivers. But here’s the good news: two simple ideas—comfort and routine—can make all the difference. By keeping these concepts in mind, you can help your child navigate holiday festivities with more ease.
And remember: It’s okay to take it slow and savor the moment. The holidays are also a time to create new memories with loved ones, even if things don’t go perfectly. To help, we’ve put together a flexible game plan to make this season (and other big events, like weddings or birthdays) more manageable for your family.
The Science of Routine and Anxiety
Why is routine so important for managing stress and anxiety—especially for children? Here are some research-backed reasons:
1. Predictability Reduces Uncertainty: When children know what to expect, it eliminates the anxiety that comes with the unknown. A consistent routine acts as an “anchor” during stressful times.
2. Builds a Sense of Control: Familiar routines give children a sense of stability and control, which can significantly lower stress.
3. Lowers Cortisol Levels: Studies show that predictable routines can reduce cortisol, the stress hormone, helping kids feel calmer in potentially overwhelming situations.
4. Supports Emotional Regulation: Routine provides opportunities to practice and regulate emotions in familiar settings, making it easier to manage those feelings during new or challenging situations.
By integrating routine into holiday preparations, you provide a safe framework for your child to navigate the season with more confidence and calmness.
Your Holiday Game Plan for Stress-Free Events
1. Prepare with Social Stories
Help your child understand what to expect using social stories—simple visuals or narratives that outline the day’s events step by step. For example:
- Getting ready for the gathering.
- Arriving at the location.
- Greeting family members.
- Activities like eating or playing.
- Saying goodbye at the end.
Social stories are powerful tools for helping kids adjust to new situations and process emotions. They can also ease transitions by giving your child a clear roadmap of what’s ahead.
(you can find our example Social Story here)
2. Practice Positive Behaviors in Advance
Set your child up for success by practicing situations they might encounter. For example:
- If you’re attending a buffet-style dinner, practice waiting in line and taking turns.
- Role-play greetings with family members.
- Show pictures of guests in advance so your child can recognize familiar faces.
This kind of preparation builds confidence and creates a sense of routine and familiarity.
3. Plan for Early Arrival
Arriving before the crowd gives your child time to adjust to the new environment. If possible, ask the host if you can arrive early. Use this quiet time to:
- Let your child explore the space.
- Review the social story together.
- Discuss who will be there and what activities to expect.
This can help reduce anxiety and make your child feel more at ease.
4. Provide Preferred Food Options
Mealtime can be tricky, but a little planning goes a long way! Check with the host about the menu or bring a backup meal your child enjoys. This ensures they’ll have something familiar to eat, making the experience more comfortable for everyone.
5. Promote Sensory Comfort
Holiday gatherings can be overstimulating. Be ready to support your child’s sensory needs by:
- Bringing headphones to block out noise.
- Providing favorite toys, books, or a tablet for downtime.
- Allowing breaks to walk around or sit in a quieter area.
Encourage your child to use tools and strategies that help them self-regulate, whether it’s fidget toys, deep breaths, or simply stepping away when needed.
A Final Thought
The holiday season is filled with joy but can also feel overwhelming with its endless to-do lists and family obligations. By focusing on comfort and routine, you can create a more relaxed and enjoyable experience for your child—and yourself.
Remember, every family is unique, and this game plan is meant to be adaptable. Use what works best for your child, and don’t be afraid to take breaks, adjust plans, or simply focus on what matters most: spending meaningful time together.
Happy Holidays from our team to yours!
Written by Johana Calvo, IMFT, BCaBA – Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern
Men’s Mental Health: More Than a Mustache
– Corey, G. (2024). Theory and practice of counseling and psychotherapy (11th ed.). Cengage Learning.
– Mahalik, J. R., Burns, S. M., & Syzdek, M. (2007). Masculinity and perceived normative health behaviors as predictors of men’s health behaviors. Social Science & Medicine, 64(11), 2201–2209.
– McMinn, M. R. (2017). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling (2nd ed.). Tyndale House.
– Seidler, Z. E., Dawes, A. J., Rice, S. M., Oliffe, J. L., & Dhillon, H. M. (2016). The role of masculinity in men’s help-seeking for depression: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 49, 106–118.
– Sperry, L., & Sperry, J. (2020). Case conceptualization: Mastering this competency with ease and confidence (3rd ed.). Routledge.
– Tan, S.-Y. (2011). Counseling and psychotherapy: A Christian perspective. Baker Academic.
– World Health Organization. (2021). Suicide worldwide in 2019: Global health estimates. World Health Organization.
Attachment and Healing: Why Relationships in Therapy Matter

When we think of therapy, we often imagine sitting across from a kind, quiet professional, talking about our past or processing today’s struggles. But one of the most powerful forces for healing isn’t just the talking — it’s the relationship that forms in the room.
At the heart of many emotional wounds is a story about attachment — how we learned (or didn’t learn) to feel safe, loved, and seen in connection with others. In therapy, we’re given a chance to write a new story.

What Is Attachment?
Attachment is the emotional bond we form with our caregivers early in life. Through this bond, we begin to answer foundational questions:
● Is the world safe?
● Will others show up for me when I’m hurting?
● Is it okay to need, to cry, to ask for help?
● Can I trust love to stay?
When early relationships are secure, we often grow up feeling emotionally balanced, confident, and connected. But when caregivers are inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, overly controlling, or unable to meet our needs, we may carry forward wounds that quietly shape how we relate — not just to others, but to ourselves.

How Attachment Wounds Show Up
Attachment wounds don’t always come from overt trauma. They often live in the small, unspoken patterns of everyday life:
● Feeling like you’re “too much” or “not enough”
● Difficulty trusting others
● Fear of abandonment — or fear of being smothered
● Craving constant reassurance, or pushing people away
● Loneliness, even when you’re in a relationship
● A belief that love must be earned, managed, or controlled
Terms like anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment styles describe these responses —not as flaws, but as adaptive strategies. Your nervous system learned how to protect you, even if it made closeness feel unsafe.
Why Therapy Can Heal Attachment Wounds

Therapy offers something profoundly rare: a consistent, attuned relationship where you’re allowed to be fully human — messy, guarded, emotional, angry, needy, silent — and still be met with warmth and care.
Healing begins when:
● You risk vulnerability and are still accepted
● You express anger or fear and the therapist stays
● You explore shame, grief, or longing without being judged
● You begin to feel worthy — not because you’re perfect, but because you’re you
The therapeutic relationship can become a secure base — a place where your attachment system gently begins to rewire. You learn, over time, that you don’t have to perform, shrink, or disappear to be loved.

What Healing From Attachment Looks Like:
Healing attachment wounds doesn’t mean you’ll never feel anxious, triggered, or scared again. It means:
● You notice those patterns more quickly
● You communicate your needs with more clarity and less fear
● You recognize who feels safe — and who doesn’t
● You offer yourself grace when old wounds resurface
● You create relationships rooted in respect, reciprocity, and emotional safety
You begin to relate — to yourself and others — not from fear or survival, but from self-trust and inner steadiness.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve ever felt like something is wrong with the way you love or connect, know this: you are not broken. You are a human being who adapted in the best way you could to the relationships and experiences that shaped you.
Therapy doesn’t “fix” you — because you were never broken. It offers you a space to come home to yourself, one session, one relationship, one breath at a time. Your healing is possible — and it begins in relationship.
Written by Jennifer Freel, Registered Mental Health Intern IMH26129
The Therapeutic Power of Cold Exposure
In recent years, cold exposure therapy has gained attention not only among athletes and biohackers, but also within the mental health and wellness communities. While it might seem counterintuitive to voluntarily plunge into icy water or expose the body to freezing temperatures,
a growing body of evidence suggests that cold exposure can be a powerful adjunct to therapeutic practices for both mind and body.
Cold exposure involves deliberately subjecting the body to cold temperatures for short periods, typically through ice baths, cold showers, cryotherapy chambers, or natural bodies of cold water. The idea is not to induce suffering, but rather to activate the body’s adaptive systems
in a controlled and beneficial way.
Research and anecdotal reports have shown that cold exposure can significantly support mental health. One of the key mechanisms is the activation of the sympathetic nervous system and the release of endorphins, dopamine, and norepinephrine. These neurochemicals are
associated with improved mood, increased alertness, and reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety. Cold exposure also promotes resilience. When practiced regularly, it helps individuals build a tolerance to stress—a process called hormesis. This controlled, short-term stress can enhance the body’s ability to manage long-term stressors, making it a useful tool in treating anxiety disorders, PTSD, and chronic stress.
On the physical side, cold exposure reduces inflammation and muscle soreness, making it a common recovery tool for athletes. But its benefits extend further—it can help regulate blood sugar, improve sleep, support immune function, and even increase metabolism through the activation of brown fat. Chronic inflammation has been linked to a wide range of health issues, including autoimmune diseases and depression. Cold therapy’s anti-inflammatory effects can therefore play a role in integrative treatment plans for these conditions.
While cold exposure might seem like a purely physical challenge, the real transformation happens in the brain. The mental health benefits of cold therapy are rooted in powerful shifts in neurochemistry, stress regulation, and brain plasticity. Cold exposure triggers the release of
norepinephrine, a key neurotransmitter involved in focus, attention, and mood regulation. Studies have shown that norepinephrine levels can increase two- to five-fold during cold immersion. This surge helps sharpen mental clarity and boost energy levels. Emerging evidence suggests that cold exposure disrupts the default mode network, the brain system responsible for self-referential thinking, rumination, and mind-wandering. Overactivity in the DMN is commonly observed in depression and anxiety. Cold exposure, particularly to the face or neck (like with cold showers or breath-focused practices), stimulates the vagus nerve—a key player in the parasympathetic nervous system. Improving vagal tone has been shown to enhance emotional regulation, calm the body after stress, and support mental recovery.
Cold exposure is not a cure-all, but it can be a powerful complement to traditional therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), talk therapy, medication, and mindfulness practices. When used mindfully and with guidance—especially for individuals with heart conditions or mental health sensitivities—it can support deeper healing and transformation.
In summary, cold exposure therapy taps into our body’s primal systems to boost resilience, clarity, and well-being. It offers a simple, natural, and surprisingly accessible way to enhance both physical and emotional health, making it a compelling addition to holistic therapy
approaches.
Always consult a healthcare provider before beginning any cold exposure regimen.
Written by Sophie Gengler, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health
The Exhaustion of Never Being Enough
Prioritizing Mental Health When Going Back to School
Going back to school can be exciting but also bring a wave of stress, pressure, and anxiety. Whether you’re a student, parent, or educator, the transition from summer break to another school year is a major shift that can impact one’s mental health in several ways.
For students, returning to class can mean academic expectations, social challenges, and the pressure to perform. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings rather than dismiss them. Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re not good enough; it means you’re human. Creating a routine that includes sleep, time for fun, and self-care can make a huge difference in maintaining one’s mental well-being throughout the year.
Parents, too, may feel the stress of new schedules, homework battles, or supporting children with their mental health struggles. It’s okay to seek support and remember that you don’t have to have all the answers. Simply being present and listening can help your child feel more secure.
As the school year begins, let’s normalize conversations about mental health. Encourage students to speak up if they’re struggling. Support each other with empathy and patience. And most importantly, know that it’s okay to ask for help, whether from a counselor, teacher, parent, or peer.
School is more than just grades; it’s about growth, and growth is never linear. By putting mental health at the forefront, we set ourselves up not just for academic success but for a healthier and more balanced life.
Written by Antonio Garland, Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern #4363
Getting the Relationship You Both Want (Not Just the One You’ve Settled Into)
Most couples don’t fall apart because they stopped loving each other.
They fall apart because they stopped feeling seen, heard, or safe.
They start walking on eggshells. One shuts down, the other over-functions. Intimacy fades. Conversations turn into silent battles or circular arguments that never resolve anything. Somewhere along the way, the relationship becomes more about surviving than thriving.
But love isn’t supposed to feel like a constant negotiation.
It’s supposed to feel like a partnership.
The truth is, no one teaches us how to do relationships well. We bring our childhood wounds, our unspoken fears, and our unmet needs into our adult relationships and then wonder why things feel so hard.
Healing begins when both people feel safe enough to be honest—not just about what’s not working, but about why they react the way they do.
That’s where the real work begins:
- Understanding your patterns, not just judging them.
- Learning to listen without defending.
- Speaking your truth without shutting the other person down.
- Rebuilding trust, even if it’s been slowly eroding for years.
- Creating connection, not just co-existence.
Couples don’t need more date nights. They need deeper understanding. They need tools to de-escalate conflict, to repair faster, and to show up with vulnerability instead of resentment.
There is a path back to each other. Even if things feel distant. Even if you’ve tried before. Even if you’re not sure it’s possible anymore.
If you’re ready to break the cycle and build the kind of relationship you both deserve, I’d love to work with you.
Through deep subconscious healing and a proven toolbox of strategies, I help couples move beyond surface-level fixes to create real, lasting change. Together, we’ll uncover the hidden patterns driving disconnection—and build stronger communication, deeper emotional safety, and a renewed sense of partnership.
Written by Kellie Hatch, Registered Mental Health Intern #26644
Kellie Hatch’s Website – https://www.naples-therapists.com/
Grief Is Not Linear
Grief: Graduate Student Perspective
Everyone has experienced some level of grief at some point in their lives. Grief can be tricky because it is mainly associated with death. Did you know that grief is not limited to death, but is
a result of different types of significant loss? Grief can be the loss of friendships, relationships, jobs, pets, etc.
Stages of Grief
Grief is presented in five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Identifying a specific stage can be challenging, as some individuals can experience more than one stage. When an individual is experiencing denial, they may experience shock, disbelief, and numbness, and may experience anger towards themselves, others, and even the deceased. Individuals experiencing bargaining may state, “Where is God in this/ How dare God let this happen!” The depression stage can display as “Why go on at all?” Lastly, acceptance consists of acknowledging the loss and adapting to life.
Theories/Techniques
Combining existential and cognitive behavioral therapy can be useful when dealing with grief. Maybe you or someone you know has had difficulty rediscovering their purpose. Existential focuses on redefining purpose by implementing these techniques: the empty chair method, reframing, self-reflection, exploring meaning and purpose, encouraging responsibility, and focusing on the present.
CBT focuses on identifying and reframing negative thoughts. Depending on the situation, individuals may experience survivor’s guilt. Statements like “I wish it were me instead of them,”
or “Things would have been different if I had…” are examples of negative thinking. CBT helps the individual understand their thought process and establish healthier ways of thinking and
coping. Allowing space for addressing guilt and regret is necessary; however, understanding the underlying factors behind their guilt and shame is essential to shift to positive thinking. Shifting
from “I wish it were me instead of them” to “I am hurt that they are no longer with us.” There are other techniques like journaling, mindfulness, and social support.
Coping with Grief
Grief looks different to everyone, meaning coping strategies and healing stages may vary. When dealing with grief, it is important to prioritize self-care, engage in meaningful activities, create
rituals and memorialize, be patient with yourself, acknowledge and accept your feelings, and seek support.
Written by Jasmine Robinson, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health
Reauthoring Your Life: The Transformative Power of Narrative Therapy
We are all storytellers. From the moment we begin to make sense of the world, we craft narratives about who we are, what we’re capable of, and what our experiences mean. Yet sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves become limiting—creating boundaries that confine rather than possibilities that liberate.
This is where narrative therapy shines. Developed by Michael White and David Epston in the 1980s, narrative therapy recognizes that we are not our problems, and our problems are not us. Instead, our challenges exist in the narratives we’ve constructed or inherited about ourselves.
Through narrative therapy, we learn to externalize problems—to see them not as inherent character flaws but as stories that can be rewritten. When we say, “Anxiety is affecting my life” rather than “I am an anxious person,” we create space between ourselves and the problem. In that space lies freedom.
The process of reauthoring our lives begins with simple awareness. What stories do you tell yourself about your capabilities, your worth, your future? Once identified, these narratives can be examined, questioned, and ultimately transformed.
Importantly, narrative therapy doesn’t dismiss our struggles but reframes them as opportunities for growth. Every challenge becomes a plot twist rather than an ending. Every setback becomes a chapter rather than the whole book.
By identifying “unique outcomes”—those moments when the problem doesn’t dominate—we discover evidence of alternative storylines already present in our lives. These exceptions form the foundation of new, more empowering narratives.
At Sage & Lore, we believe in the power of story to heal and transform. When you turn the page and write your own story, you quite literally change your life.
What page are you turning today?
Written by Petra Wilkes, Registered Mental Health and Marriage and Family Intern #IMH25031

