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The Healer Needs Healing Too: Self-Care for Mental Health Professionals

January 2, 2026 by

As mental health professionals, we dedicate ourselves to holding space for others offering safety, empathy, and stability in moments of crisis and vulnerability. But in doing this essential work, we often overlook one simple truth: healers need healing too. Self-care isn’t indulgence. It is a necessary, ethical component of our practice. In fact, the American Counseling Association (ACA) states that counselors have an obligation to engage in self-care practices to maintain their effectiveness and avoid impairment (ACA, 2014). Let’s explore how to prioritize our own mental well-being while continuing to support others.

1. Acknowledge Your Humanity
It may seem obvious, but it’s essential: mental health professionals are human. We experience grief, exhaustion, joy, and confusion just like our clients. Emotional labor takes a toll over time, especially in trauma-exposed environments (Figley, 2002). Giving ourselves permission to feel and to tend to our emotional needs fosters longevity in the field.

Tip: Reflective journaling, supervision, and debriefing with peers can help mitigate the impact of vicarious trauma.

2. Set Boundaries That Protect You
The ability to model healthy boundaries begins with maintaining our own. Chronic overextension, responding to messages after hours, or skipping breaks can lead to compassion fatigue and burnout (Maslach & Leiter, 2016). Clear boundaries are not barriers they are bridges
to healthier, more sustainable helping relationships.

Tip: Designate work hours and personal hours and honor them consistently.

3. Embrace Rest and Joy Without Guilt
We often delay rest under the illusion that we must “earn” it. But rest is not a reward; it is essential. Engaging in activities unrelated to our work promotes resilience and helps prevent emotional exhaustion (Skovholt & Trotter-Mathison, 2016). Joy is not just a luxury it’s
protective.

Tip: Schedule time for joy: dancing, painting, resting, gardening, or anything that brings life back into your body.

4. Utilize Your Own Support System
Seeking supervision or therapy is not a sign of weakness it’s a sign of insight. The National Association of Social Workers (NASW, 2017) encourages professionals to seek support when personal problems interfere with professional functioning. Regular check-ins with a therapist,
coach, or supervisor reinforce our ethical commitment to client care and our own wellness.

Tip: Normalize therapy for the therapist. Your clients benefit when you are supported too.

5. Engage in Regular Self-Check-Ins
Burnout rarely arrives all at once it builds quietly. Routine self-check-ins can help you track emotional well-being and intervene early. Are you feeling hopeful? Are you dreading sessions? Are you experiencing emotional numbness? These signs matter and deserve attention.

Tip: Use a simple weekly “check-in scale” (1–10) to track how fulfilled, energized, and supported you feel in your work.

Final Thoughts: You Matter Too
Mental health professionals are change agents, emotional caregivers, and resilience-builders. But we cannot pour from an empty cup. The work we do is important—but so is our well-being. Self-care is not optional. It is a professional responsibility and a personal right.
You are worthy of the same care and compassion you offer others.

Written by Sherline Herard, MH24002 Licensed Mental Health Counselor

References
American Counseling Association. (2014). ACA Code of Ethics.
https://www.counseling.org/resources/aca-code-of-ethics.pdf

Figley, C. R. (2002). Compassion fatigue: Psychotherapists’ chronic lack of self-care.
Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58(11), 1433–1441. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.10090

Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Burnout. In G. Fink (Ed.), Stress: Concepts,
Cognition, Emotion, and Behavior (pp. 351–357). Academic Press.

National Association of Social Workers. (2017). NASW Code of Ethics.
https://www.socialworkers.org/About/Ethics/Code-of-Ethics/Code-of-Ethics-English

Skovholt, T. M., & Trotter-Mathison, M. (2016). The resilient practitioner: Burnout
prevention and self-care strategies for counselors, therapists, teachers, and health
professionals (3rd ed.). Routledge.

Filed Under: Communication, Family, healing, Intimacy, kindness, love, marriage, Mental Health, Psychotherapy, Self-Worth, selfless

How to Set Realistic Traditions So the Holidays Do Not Feel Like a Performance

December 23, 2025 by
The holidays often come with a long list of expectations. Decorations, gatherings, gifts, and perfect moments can make the season feel more like something we are supposed to “perform” rather than something we get to enjoy. Many people find themselves moving through the motions without feeling connected to what truly matters.
Several things can contribute to this pressure. Social media shows highly curated versions of the holidays. Family patterns can make us feel obligated to maintain traditions that no longer fit our lives. A natural desire to please others can also lead to doing far more than we have the capacity for.
A healthier holiday season starts with identifying your realistic capacity for this year. Your energy and emotional bandwidth shift depending on what you have been carrying. Ask yourself what feels nourishing, what feels draining, and what you have been doing only out of guilt or habit. Awareness helps you stay grounded and prevents burnout.
Once you start exploring your capacity, let your values guide the traditions you keep. What brings you joy? Even if it’s something small, like having a cup of hot chocolate, can be a great place to start if you’re finding it difficult to brainstorm. If connection is important to you, a small and cozy gathering may feel far more meaningful than a large event. If rest is your priority, simple decorating might be enough. When your choices align with your values and what brings you joy, the season becomes more intentional.
It’s also okay to release traditions that no longer serve you. Letting go can bring up guilt, but traditions are meant to evolve as you do. Communicating your needs gently can help others adjust, but your well-being is still important even if others resist the change.
When you simplify, you create space for presence, connection, and comfort. Doing less does not mean you care less. It means you are choosing a holiday that feels authentic and sustainable. This season, consider asking yourself: What would it look like if I allowed the holidays to be simple and meaningful instead of perfect?

Written by Brittani Garcia, M.A.

Clinical Mental Health Counseling Intern
Cape Coral Therapists
Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, empower, healing, Inspire, kindness, love, Men's Mental Health, Mental Health, Narrative Therapy, Psychotherapy, Self-Worth, Women Empowerment

Helping Kids Manage Holiday Stress and Anxiety: A Parent’s Guide

December 19, 2025 by

The holidays are a time for joy and celebration—but they can also bring stress, especially for children who thrive on routine and predictability especially those who deal with social anxiety. Last month, we asked parents about their biggest concerns during the holiday season. Unsurprisingly, the top concern was how to prepare kids for the many events and changes that come with the holidays.

It’s completely normal to feel this way. As exciting as the season can be, it can also feel overwhelming for both kids and caregivers. But here’s the good news: two simple ideas—comfort and routine—can make all the difference. By keeping these concepts in mind, you can help your child navigate holiday festivities with more ease.

And remember: It’s okay to take it slow and savor the moment. The holidays are also a time to create new memories with loved ones, even if things don’t go perfectly. To help, we’ve put together a flexible game plan to make this season (and other big events, like weddings or birthdays) more manageable for your family.

The Science of Routine and Anxiety
Why is routine so important for managing stress and anxiety—especially for children? Here are some research-backed reasons:

1. Predictability Reduces Uncertainty: When children know what to expect, it eliminates the anxiety that comes with the unknown. A consistent routine acts as an “anchor” during stressful times.

2. Builds a Sense of Control: Familiar routines give children a sense of stability and control, which can significantly lower stress.

3. Lowers Cortisol Levels: Studies show that predictable routines can reduce cortisol, the stress hormone, helping kids feel calmer in potentially overwhelming situations.

4. Supports Emotional Regulation: Routine provides opportunities to practice and regulate emotions in familiar settings, making it easier to manage those feelings during new or challenging situations.

By integrating routine into holiday preparations, you provide a safe framework for your child to navigate the season with more confidence and calmness.

Your Holiday Game Plan for Stress-Free Events

1. Prepare with Social Stories
Help your child understand what to expect using social stories—simple visuals or narratives that outline the day’s events step by step. For example:

  • Getting ready for the gathering.
  • Arriving at the location.
  • Greeting family members.
  • Activities like eating or playing.
  • Saying goodbye at the end.

Social stories are powerful tools for helping kids adjust to new situations and process emotions. They can also ease transitions by giving your child a clear roadmap of what’s ahead.

(you can find our example Social Story here)

2. Practice Positive Behaviors in Advance
Set your child up for success by practicing situations they might encounter. For example:

  • If you’re attending a buffet-style dinner, practice waiting in line and taking turns.
  • Role-play greetings with family members.
  • Show pictures of guests in advance so your child can recognize familiar faces.

This kind of preparation builds confidence and creates a sense of routine and familiarity.

3. Plan for Early Arrival
Arriving before the crowd gives your child time to adjust to the new environment. If possible, ask the host if you can arrive early. Use this quiet time to:

  • Let your child explore the space.
  • Review the social story together.
  • Discuss who will be there and what activities to expect.

This can help reduce anxiety and make your child feel more at ease.

4. Provide Preferred Food Options
Mealtime can be tricky, but a little planning goes a long way! Check with the host about the menu or bring a backup meal your child enjoys. This ensures they’ll have something familiar to eat, making the experience more comfortable for everyone.

5. Promote Sensory Comfort
Holiday gatherings can be overstimulating. Be ready to support your child’s sensory needs by:

  • Bringing headphones to block out noise.
  • Providing favorite toys, books, or a tablet for downtime.
  • Allowing breaks to walk around or sit in a quieter area.

Encourage your child to use tools and strategies that help them self-regulate, whether it’s fidget toys, deep breaths, or simply stepping away when needed.

A Final Thought
The holiday season is filled with joy but can also feel overwhelming with its endless to-do lists and family obligations. By focusing on comfort and routine, you can create a more relaxed and enjoyable experience for your child—and yourself.

Remember, every family is unique, and this game plan is meant to be adaptable. Use what works best for your child, and don’t be afraid to take breaks, adjust plans, or simply focus on what matters most: spending meaningful time together.

Happy Holidays from our team to yours! 

Written by Johana Calvo, IMFT, BCaBA – Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern

Filed Under: Anxiety, Children, Children counseling, Depression, empower, Family, family counseling, healing, Inspire, kindness, love, Mental Health, teens

Attachment and Healing: Why Relationships in Therapy Matter

October 31, 2025 by

When we think of therapy, we often imagine sitting across from a kind, quiet professional, talking about our past or processing today’s struggles. But one of the most powerful forces for healing isn’t just the talking — it’s the relationship that forms in the room.

At the heart of many emotional wounds is a story about attachment — how we learned (or didn’t learn) to feel safe, loved, and seen in connection with others. In therapy, we’re given a chance to write a new story.

What Is Attachment?

Attachment is the emotional bond we form with our caregivers early in life. Through this bond, we begin to answer foundational questions:

● Is the world safe?

● Will others show up for me when I’m hurting?

● Is it okay to need, to cry, to ask for help?

● Can I trust love to stay?

When early relationships are secure, we often grow up feeling emotionally balanced, confident, and connected. But when caregivers are inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, overly controlling, or unable to meet our needs, we may carry forward wounds that quietly shape how we relate — not just to others, but to ourselves.

How Attachment Wounds Show Up

Attachment wounds don’t always come from overt trauma. They often live in the small, unspoken patterns of everyday life:

● Feeling like you’re “too much” or “not enough”

● Difficulty trusting others

● Fear of abandonment — or fear of being smothered

● Craving constant reassurance, or pushing people away

● Loneliness, even when you’re in a relationship

● A belief that love must be earned, managed, or controlled

Terms like anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment styles describe these responses —not as flaws, but as adaptive strategies. Your nervous system learned how to protect you, even if it made closeness feel unsafe.

Why Therapy Can Heal Attachment Wounds

Therapy offers something profoundly rare: a consistent, attuned relationship where you’re allowed to be fully human — messy, guarded, emotional, angry, needy, silent — and still be met with warmth and care.

Healing begins when:

● You risk vulnerability and are still accepted

● You express anger or fear and the therapist stays

● You explore shame, grief, or longing without being judged

● You begin to feel worthy — not because you’re perfect, but because you’re you

The therapeutic relationship can become a secure base — a place where your attachment system gently begins to rewire. You learn, over time, that you don’t have to perform, shrink, or disappear to be loved.

What Healing From Attachment Looks Like:

Healing attachment wounds doesn’t mean you’ll never feel anxious, triggered, or scared again. It means:

● You notice those patterns more quickly

● You communicate your needs with more clarity and less fear

● You recognize who feels safe — and who doesn’t

● You offer yourself grace when old wounds resurface

● You create relationships rooted in respect, reciprocity, and emotional safety

You begin to relate — to yourself and others — not from fear or survival, but from self-trust and inner steadiness.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever felt like something is wrong with the way you love or connect, know this: you are not broken. You are a human being who adapted in the best way you could to the relationships and experiences that shaped you.

Therapy doesn’t “fix” you — because you were never broken. It offers you a space to come home to yourself, one session, one relationship, one breath at a time. Your healing is possible — and it begins in relationship.

Written by Jennifer Freel, Registered Mental Health Intern IMH26129

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, Depression, EMDR Therapy, empower, healing, Intimacy, love, marriage, Mental Health, Psychotherapy, Self-Worth

The Exhaustion of Never Being Enough

September 5, 2025 by
How Self-Improvement Culture Hurts Mental Health
 
Everywhere we look, there are messages telling us to be better. Read this book, try that routine! Meditate in the morning, journal before bed. At first, these things can be helpful. But after a while, it can start to feel like a job you can never finish.
 
Self-improvement is often sold as the answer to happiness; however, it can leave people feeling burned out and never good enough. Social media often makes this even worse. We see others showing off their perfect routines and achievements, which can make us feel like we are falling behind. Instead of feeling inspired, we may feel pressured and anxious.
 
Researchers have found that this pressure is connected to perfectionism and burnout. One study showed that people who constantly worry about making mistakes or not measuring up are more likely to feel exhausted and stuck in cycles of negative thinking (Limburg et. al., 2017). Another study found that burnout is often tied to low self-worth, especially when people feel they always need to prove themselves (Carmassi et al., 2025).
 
The problem is not the tools themselves. Meditation, therapy, and journaling can all be extremely powerful tools. The problem comes when growth becomes a race. When every part of life is about improving, rest starts to feel like something you have to earn, instead of something you deserve.
 
True growth often begins when we stop pushing so hard. It comes from kindness toward ourselves, not from endless “fixing”.Try this today: write down one way you are already enough, without changing anything. Keep it simple! Let it remind you that you do not have to earn your worth.
 
 
Sources:
 
Carmassi, C., Bertelloni, C. A., Dell’Oste, V., Pedrinelli, V., Cordone, A., Bargagna, P., … Dell’Osso, L. (2025). Burnout, resilience, and self-esteem in healthcare workers: A mediation analysis. Frontiers in Public Health, 13, 1537352. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpubh.2025.1537352
 
Limburg, K., Watson, H. J., Hagger, M. S., & Egan, S. J. (2017). The relationship between perfectionism and psychopathology: A meta-analysis. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 73(10), 1301–1326. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22435
 
Filed Under: Anxiety, empower, Inspire, kindness, love, Mental Health, Narrative Therapy, Psychotherapy, Self-Worth

Getting the Relationship You Both Want (Not Just the One You’ve Settled Into)

August 15, 2025 by

Most couples don’t fall apart because they stopped loving each other.

They fall apart because they stopped feeling seen, heard, or safe.

They start walking on eggshells. One shuts down, the other over-functions. Intimacy fades. Conversations turn into silent battles or circular arguments that never resolve anything. Somewhere along the way, the relationship becomes more about surviving than thriving.

But love isn’t supposed to feel like a constant negotiation.

It’s supposed to feel like a partnership.

The truth is, no one teaches us how to do relationships well. We bring our childhood wounds, our unspoken fears, and our unmet needs into our adult relationships and then wonder why things feel so hard.

Healing begins when both people feel safe enough to be honest—not just about what’s not working, but about why they react the way they do.

That’s where the real work begins:

  • Understanding your patterns, not just judging them.
  • Learning to listen without defending.
  • Speaking your truth without shutting the other person down.
  • Rebuilding trust, even if it’s been slowly eroding for years.
  • Creating connection, not just co-existence.

Couples don’t need more date nights. They need deeper understanding. They need tools to de-escalate conflict, to repair faster, and to show up with vulnerability instead of resentment.

There is a path back to each other. Even if things feel distant. Even if you’ve tried before. Even if you’re not sure it’s possible anymore.

If you’re ready to break the cycle and build the kind of relationship you both deserve, I’d love to work with you.
Through deep subconscious healing and a proven toolbox of strategies, I help couples move beyond surface-level fixes to create real, lasting change. Together, we’ll uncover the hidden patterns driving disconnection—and build stronger communication, deeper emotional safety, and a renewed sense of partnership.

Written by Kellie Hatch, Registered Mental Health Intern #26644

Kellie Hatch’s Website – https://www.naples-therapists.com/

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Couples/Marriage, honesty, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, marriage, Mental Health, Self-Worth, Sexual Health

Reauthoring Your Life: The Transformative Power of Narrative Therapy

July 18, 2025 by

We are all storytellers. From the moment we begin to make sense of the world, we craft narratives about who we are, what we’re capable of, and what our experiences mean. Yet sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves become limiting—creating boundaries that confine rather than possibilities that liberate.

This is where narrative therapy shines. Developed by Michael White and David Epston in the 1980s, narrative therapy recognizes that we are not our problems, and our problems are not us. Instead, our challenges exist in the narratives we’ve constructed or inherited about ourselves.

Through narrative therapy, we learn to externalize problems—to see them not as inherent character flaws but as stories that can be rewritten. When we say, “Anxiety is affecting my life” rather than “I am an anxious person,” we create space between ourselves and the problem. In that space lies freedom.

The process of reauthoring our lives begins with simple awareness. What stories do you tell yourself about your capabilities, your worth, your future? Once identified, these narratives can be examined, questioned, and ultimately transformed.

Importantly, narrative therapy doesn’t dismiss our struggles but reframes them as opportunities for growth. Every challenge becomes a plot twist rather than an ending. Every setback becomes a chapter rather than the whole book.

By identifying “unique outcomes”—those moments when the problem doesn’t dominate—we discover evidence of alternative storylines already present in our lives. These exceptions form the foundation of new, more empowering narratives.

At Sage & Lore, we believe in the power of story to heal and transform. When you turn the page and write your own story, you quite literally change your life.

What page are you turning today?

Written by Petra Wilkes, Registered Mental Health and Marriage and Family Intern #IMH25031

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Couples/Marriage, Depression, empower, Family, healing, honesty, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, Mental Health, Narrative Therapy, Psychotherapy, Self-Worth, Women Empowerment

Craving Closeness & Connections

July 4, 2025 by

As humans, we crave the closeness and connections that come with having someone around, whether it is a friend or romantic partner. Have you ever wondered why some people seem naturally secure in relationships, while others struggle with trust, intimacy, or independence? The answer may lie in attachment styles, a concept rooted in psychology that explains how we relate to others, especially in close relationships. Attachment styles are the foundation of our human connections and our capacity to be there for one another. This creates meaningful attachments and memories with others and our lives. However, with closeness and letting our guards down comes the fear of making connections with others and being vulnerable. Whether that is due to past experiences or our insecurities coming out and influencing us, it can be hard. Understanding your attachment style can help you gain insight into yourself and foster meaningful, deep relationships. You might be thinking to yourself, “Well, how do I start?”. The first step in combating an unhealthy attachment style is to learn about the attachment style you have. As many people say, knowing is half the battle. The 4 attachment styles are anxious, fearful-avoidant, avoidant, and secure. You can take this quiz to see which style you have (Attachment Style Quiz: Free & Fast Attachment Style Test). Now that you know which attachment style you have, it is time for step 2, which will happen without you having to try too hard. It is being aware of how our own experiences are influencing our behaviors now. Then it comes down to making changes to positively influence your life based on those observations. I know what you are thinking, “How do I make that change?”. Don’t worry, it can seem daunting, but once you start seeing it, the change has already started. Trust in your intuition and have faith that you will become the best version of yourself as long as you continue to challenge your ways of thinking.

Written by Tiya Delson, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

Ainsworth, M.D.S., Blehar, M.C., Waters, E. & Wall, S. (1978) Patterns of Attachment. A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Hillsdale, NJ: LEA.

Levy, M. B., & Davis, K. E. (1988). Lovestyles and attachment styles compared: Their relations to each other and to various relationship characteristics. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 5(4), 439–471. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407588054004 

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, empower, Intimacy, love, marriage, Men's Issues, Mental Health, Self-Worth, Women Empowerment, Women's Issues

Yoga and Psychotherapy

June 27, 2025 by

In recent years, more people are turning to holistic approaches to improve their mental health. One powerful combination gaining attention is the integration of yoga and psychotherapy. While these two practices may seem unrelated at first glance, they actually complement each other in meaningful and transformative ways.

Traditional talk therapy helps people make sense of their thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships. It offers a safe space to explore past experiences, process trauma, navigate anxiety or depression, and work toward greater self-understanding. But as anyone who has struggled with overwhelming emotions or persistent stress knows, our minds and bodies are deeply connected. What we think and feel doesn’t just stay in our heads, it shows up in our posture, our breath, our muscles, and our nervous system. This is where yoga comes in. Yoga, especially when practiced with awareness, is more than
just exercise. It teaches us to tune into the body, breathe with intention, and notice what’s happening in the present moment. When combined with psychotherapy, yoga can help people move through emotional blocks, ground themselves in the here and now, and develop a deeper sense of self-compassion. It can also be a powerful tool for regulating the nervous system, particularly for those recovering from trauma or living with chronic stress.

In therapy, we often talk about feelings, but many of us struggle to feel those emotions fully—especially if we’ve been taught to suppress or avoid them. Yoga provides a safe and structured way to begin reconnecting with the body, which is often where those emotions are stored. Simple breathing exercises or mindful movement can help bring awareness to areas of tension or numbness, gently inviting us to notice and release what we’ve been holding onto, often without even realizing it. For people living with anxiety, yoga’s emphasis on slow, steady breathing and present-moment awareness can be
grounding and soothing. It helps interrupt the cycle of racing thoughts and allows space for the body to relax, which in turn can support clearer thinking and emotional resilience. For those dealing with depression or grief, the gentle movement of yoga can help awaken the body and mind from a state of stagnation.

Ultimately, combining yoga and psychotherapy is about honoring the wisdom of both the mind and the body. It recognizes that healing isn’t just an intellectual process—it’s also physical, emotional, and even spiritual. Whether you’re working through trauma, managing stress, or simply trying to live more intentionally, this integrative approach can offer a powerful path toward balance and wholeness.

Written by Sophie Gengler, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, empower, Inspire, kindness, love, Mental Health, Psychotherapy, Self-Worth, Yoga

Valentine’s Day: Loving Yourself First to Love Others Fully

February 14, 2025 by

Valentine’s Day is HERE! Whether you’re spending it with a special someone, or friends, or flying solo, it’s all good! But how can we make this day a great day? Well, we’ve all heard that classic piece of advice: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Rom 13:9). But here’s the kicker—“as yourself.” It’s hard to give love to others if you’re not showing yourself the same care and kindness first. Our mental health plays a huge role in this, and when we neglect it, we can lose sight of who we are and who we love.

So, as we get ready for the big day, why not check in with yourself? How can you feel truly rested and loved? Maybe it’s enjoying a delicious meal, unwinding in a relaxing bath, or getting lost in a good book at your favorite park. The key is to focus on one thing at a time and be
present in the moment.

If you’re spending the day with someone special, remember that it’s not about how much you spend but the quality of the time you share. As the Bible says, “Love cannot result in any harm to the neighbor” (Rom 13:10). It’s all about selfless giving, trust, and open communication in a relationship—these are the building blocks of the love we all seek.

So… let’s make this a day full of love for yourself and others!

Written by Juan Cubillos, Graduate Student in Clinical Mental Health

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, empower, faith, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, Mental Health, Self-Worth