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The Healer Needs Healing Too: Self-Care for Mental Health Professionals

January 2, 2026 by

As mental health professionals, we dedicate ourselves to holding space for others offering safety, empathy, and stability in moments of crisis and vulnerability. But in doing this essential work, we often overlook one simple truth: healers need healing too. Self-care isn’t indulgence. It is a necessary, ethical component of our practice. In fact, the American Counseling Association (ACA) states that counselors have an obligation to engage in self-care practices to maintain their effectiveness and avoid impairment (ACA, 2014). Let’s explore how to prioritize our own mental well-being while continuing to support others.

1. Acknowledge Your Humanity
It may seem obvious, but it’s essential: mental health professionals are human. We experience grief, exhaustion, joy, and confusion just like our clients. Emotional labor takes a toll over time, especially in trauma-exposed environments (Figley, 2002). Giving ourselves permission to feel and to tend to our emotional needs fosters longevity in the field.

Tip: Reflective journaling, supervision, and debriefing with peers can help mitigate the impact of vicarious trauma.

2. Set Boundaries That Protect You
The ability to model healthy boundaries begins with maintaining our own. Chronic overextension, responding to messages after hours, or skipping breaks can lead to compassion fatigue and burnout (Maslach & Leiter, 2016). Clear boundaries are not barriers they are bridges
to healthier, more sustainable helping relationships.

Tip: Designate work hours and personal hours and honor them consistently.

3. Embrace Rest and Joy Without Guilt
We often delay rest under the illusion that we must “earn” it. But rest is not a reward; it is essential. Engaging in activities unrelated to our work promotes resilience and helps prevent emotional exhaustion (Skovholt & Trotter-Mathison, 2016). Joy is not just a luxury it’s
protective.

Tip: Schedule time for joy: dancing, painting, resting, gardening, or anything that brings life back into your body.

4. Utilize Your Own Support System
Seeking supervision or therapy is not a sign of weakness it’s a sign of insight. The National Association of Social Workers (NASW, 2017) encourages professionals to seek support when personal problems interfere with professional functioning. Regular check-ins with a therapist,
coach, or supervisor reinforce our ethical commitment to client care and our own wellness.

Tip: Normalize therapy for the therapist. Your clients benefit when you are supported too.

5. Engage in Regular Self-Check-Ins
Burnout rarely arrives all at once it builds quietly. Routine self-check-ins can help you track emotional well-being and intervene early. Are you feeling hopeful? Are you dreading sessions? Are you experiencing emotional numbness? These signs matter and deserve attention.

Tip: Use a simple weekly “check-in scale” (1–10) to track how fulfilled, energized, and supported you feel in your work.

Final Thoughts: You Matter Too
Mental health professionals are change agents, emotional caregivers, and resilience-builders. But we cannot pour from an empty cup. The work we do is important—but so is our well-being. Self-care is not optional. It is a professional responsibility and a personal right.
You are worthy of the same care and compassion you offer others.

Written by Sherline Herard, MH24002 Licensed Mental Health Counselor

References
American Counseling Association. (2014). ACA Code of Ethics.
https://www.counseling.org/resources/aca-code-of-ethics.pdf

Figley, C. R. (2002). Compassion fatigue: Psychotherapists’ chronic lack of self-care.
Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58(11), 1433–1441. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.10090

Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Burnout. In G. Fink (Ed.), Stress: Concepts,
Cognition, Emotion, and Behavior (pp. 351–357). Academic Press.

National Association of Social Workers. (2017). NASW Code of Ethics.
https://www.socialworkers.org/About/Ethics/Code-of-Ethics/Code-of-Ethics-English

Skovholt, T. M., & Trotter-Mathison, M. (2016). The resilient practitioner: Burnout
prevention and self-care strategies for counselors, therapists, teachers, and health
professionals (3rd ed.). Routledge.

Filed Under: Communication, Family, healing, Intimacy, kindness, love, marriage, Mental Health, Psychotherapy, Self-Worth, selfless

Helping Kids Manage Holiday Stress and Anxiety: A Parent’s Guide

December 19, 2025 by

The holidays are a time for joy and celebration—but they can also bring stress, especially for children who thrive on routine and predictability especially those who deal with social anxiety. Last month, we asked parents about their biggest concerns during the holiday season. Unsurprisingly, the top concern was how to prepare kids for the many events and changes that come with the holidays.

It’s completely normal to feel this way. As exciting as the season can be, it can also feel overwhelming for both kids and caregivers. But here’s the good news: two simple ideas—comfort and routine—can make all the difference. By keeping these concepts in mind, you can help your child navigate holiday festivities with more ease.

And remember: It’s okay to take it slow and savor the moment. The holidays are also a time to create new memories with loved ones, even if things don’t go perfectly. To help, we’ve put together a flexible game plan to make this season (and other big events, like weddings or birthdays) more manageable for your family.

The Science of Routine and Anxiety
Why is routine so important for managing stress and anxiety—especially for children? Here are some research-backed reasons:

1. Predictability Reduces Uncertainty: When children know what to expect, it eliminates the anxiety that comes with the unknown. A consistent routine acts as an “anchor” during stressful times.

2. Builds a Sense of Control: Familiar routines give children a sense of stability and control, which can significantly lower stress.

3. Lowers Cortisol Levels: Studies show that predictable routines can reduce cortisol, the stress hormone, helping kids feel calmer in potentially overwhelming situations.

4. Supports Emotional Regulation: Routine provides opportunities to practice and regulate emotions in familiar settings, making it easier to manage those feelings during new or challenging situations.

By integrating routine into holiday preparations, you provide a safe framework for your child to navigate the season with more confidence and calmness.

Your Holiday Game Plan for Stress-Free Events

1. Prepare with Social Stories
Help your child understand what to expect using social stories—simple visuals or narratives that outline the day’s events step by step. For example:

  • Getting ready for the gathering.
  • Arriving at the location.
  • Greeting family members.
  • Activities like eating or playing.
  • Saying goodbye at the end.

Social stories are powerful tools for helping kids adjust to new situations and process emotions. They can also ease transitions by giving your child a clear roadmap of what’s ahead.

(you can find our example Social Story here)

2. Practice Positive Behaviors in Advance
Set your child up for success by practicing situations they might encounter. For example:

  • If you’re attending a buffet-style dinner, practice waiting in line and taking turns.
  • Role-play greetings with family members.
  • Show pictures of guests in advance so your child can recognize familiar faces.

This kind of preparation builds confidence and creates a sense of routine and familiarity.

3. Plan for Early Arrival
Arriving before the crowd gives your child time to adjust to the new environment. If possible, ask the host if you can arrive early. Use this quiet time to:

  • Let your child explore the space.
  • Review the social story together.
  • Discuss who will be there and what activities to expect.

This can help reduce anxiety and make your child feel more at ease.

4. Provide Preferred Food Options
Mealtime can be tricky, but a little planning goes a long way! Check with the host about the menu or bring a backup meal your child enjoys. This ensures they’ll have something familiar to eat, making the experience more comfortable for everyone.

5. Promote Sensory Comfort
Holiday gatherings can be overstimulating. Be ready to support your child’s sensory needs by:

  • Bringing headphones to block out noise.
  • Providing favorite toys, books, or a tablet for downtime.
  • Allowing breaks to walk around or sit in a quieter area.

Encourage your child to use tools and strategies that help them self-regulate, whether it’s fidget toys, deep breaths, or simply stepping away when needed.

A Final Thought
The holiday season is filled with joy but can also feel overwhelming with its endless to-do lists and family obligations. By focusing on comfort and routine, you can create a more relaxed and enjoyable experience for your child—and yourself.

Remember, every family is unique, and this game plan is meant to be adaptable. Use what works best for your child, and don’t be afraid to take breaks, adjust plans, or simply focus on what matters most: spending meaningful time together.

Happy Holidays from our team to yours! 

Written by Johana Calvo, IMFT, BCaBA – Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern

Filed Under: Anxiety, Children, Children counseling, Depression, empower, Family, family counseling, healing, Inspire, kindness, love, Mental Health, teens

Prioritizing Mental Health When Going Back to School

August 22, 2025 by

Going back to school can be exciting but also bring a wave of stress, pressure, and anxiety. Whether you’re a student, parent, or educator, the transition from summer break to another school year is a major shift that can impact one’s mental health in several ways.

For students, returning to class can mean academic expectations, social challenges, and the pressure to perform. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings rather than dismiss them. Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re not good enough; it means you’re human. Creating a routine that includes sleep, time for fun, and self-care can make a huge difference in maintaining one’s mental well-being throughout the year.

Parents, too, may feel the stress of new schedules, homework battles, or supporting children with their mental health struggles. It’s okay to seek support and remember that you don’t have to have all the answers. Simply being present and listening can help your child feel more secure.

As the school year begins, let’s normalize conversations about mental health. Encourage students to speak up if they’re struggling. Support each other with empathy and patience. And most importantly, know that it’s okay to ask for help, whether from a counselor, teacher, parent, or peer.

School is more than just grades; it’s about growth, and growth is never linear. By putting mental health at the forefront, we set ourselves up not just for academic success but for a healthier and more balanced life.

Written by Antonio Garland, Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern #4363

Filed Under: Anxiety, Children, Children counseling, Depression, empower, Family, family counseling, Inspire, Mental Health, Psychotherapy, teens

Grief Is Not Linear

August 8, 2025 by

Grief: Graduate Student Perspective
Everyone has experienced some level of grief at some point in their lives. Grief can be tricky because it is mainly associated with death. Did you know that grief is not limited to death, but is
a result of different types of significant loss? Grief can be the loss of friendships, relationships, jobs, pets, etc.

Stages of Grief
Grief is presented in five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Identifying a specific stage can be challenging, as some individuals can experience more than one stage. When an individual is experiencing denial, they may experience shock, disbelief, and numbness, and may experience anger towards themselves, others, and even the deceased. Individuals experiencing bargaining may state, “Where is God in this/ How dare God let this happen!” The depression stage can display as “Why go on at all?” Lastly, acceptance consists of acknowledging the loss and adapting to life.

Theories/Techniques
Combining existential and cognitive behavioral therapy can be useful when dealing with grief. Maybe you or someone you know has had difficulty rediscovering their purpose. Existential focuses on redefining purpose by implementing these techniques: the empty chair method, reframing, self-reflection, exploring meaning and purpose, encouraging responsibility, and focusing on the present.

CBT focuses on identifying and reframing negative thoughts. Depending on the situation, individuals may experience survivor’s guilt. Statements like “I wish it were me instead of them,”
or “Things would have been different if I had…” are examples of negative thinking. CBT helps the individual understand their thought process and establish healthier ways of thinking and
coping. Allowing space for addressing guilt and regret is necessary; however, understanding the underlying factors behind their guilt and shame is essential to shift to positive thinking. Shifting
from “I wish it were me instead of them” to “I am hurt that they are no longer with us.” There are other techniques like journaling, mindfulness, and social support.

Coping with Grief
Grief looks different to everyone, meaning coping strategies and healing stages may vary. When dealing with grief, it is important to prioritize self-care, engage in meaningful activities, create
rituals and memorialize, be patient with yourself, acknowledge and accept your feelings, and seek support.

Written by Jasmine Robinson, Master’s Level Graduate Student in Mental Health

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, empower, Family, Grief, healing, Mental Health

Reauthoring Your Life: The Transformative Power of Narrative Therapy

July 18, 2025 by

We are all storytellers. From the moment we begin to make sense of the world, we craft narratives about who we are, what we’re capable of, and what our experiences mean. Yet sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves become limiting—creating boundaries that confine rather than possibilities that liberate.

This is where narrative therapy shines. Developed by Michael White and David Epston in the 1980s, narrative therapy recognizes that we are not our problems, and our problems are not us. Instead, our challenges exist in the narratives we’ve constructed or inherited about ourselves.

Through narrative therapy, we learn to externalize problems—to see them not as inherent character flaws but as stories that can be rewritten. When we say, “Anxiety is affecting my life” rather than “I am an anxious person,” we create space between ourselves and the problem. In that space lies freedom.

The process of reauthoring our lives begins with simple awareness. What stories do you tell yourself about your capabilities, your worth, your future? Once identified, these narratives can be examined, questioned, and ultimately transformed.

Importantly, narrative therapy doesn’t dismiss our struggles but reframes them as opportunities for growth. Every challenge becomes a plot twist rather than an ending. Every setback becomes a chapter rather than the whole book.

By identifying “unique outcomes”—those moments when the problem doesn’t dominate—we discover evidence of alternative storylines already present in our lives. These exceptions form the foundation of new, more empowering narratives.

At Sage & Lore, we believe in the power of story to heal and transform. When you turn the page and write your own story, you quite literally change your life.

What page are you turning today?

Written by Petra Wilkes, Registered Mental Health and Marriage and Family Intern #IMH25031

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Couples/Marriage, Depression, empower, Family, healing, honesty, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, Mental Health, Narrative Therapy, Psychotherapy, Self-Worth, Women Empowerment

Healing Through Communication: A Call to Counselors Supporting Troubled Teens

July 11, 2025 by

Every day, troubled teens walk into our counseling spaces carrying the silent weight of trauma—abuse, neglect, broken trust, and emotional wounds invisible to the eye. As counselors, we hold a sacred opportunity: to speak life into places where pain has tried to silence hope.

Healing starts with communication. It’s not just what we say; it’s how we listen. Active listening, open-ended questions, and creating safe, judgment-free environments are not just techniques—they are lifelines. When we truly hear a young person’s story, without rushing to fix or diagnose, we honor their dignity and invite healing to begin.

In my journey through counseling, I’ve seen firsthand the power of integrating faith with practice. Scripture reminds us: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3, NIV). When we weave biblical principles of hope, redemption, and restoration into our sessions, we offer not just therapeutic tools—but a vision of a future rooted in grace.

Consider Joy, a teenager struggling under the weight of cultural identity pressures and family strain. Through intentional communication and a focus on trust-building, her family began to heal alongside her. Or David, who carried deep shame after trauma until sessions rooted in forgiveness and God’s promises helped him reclaim his sense of worth.

Evidence backs what many of us have witnessed: open communication and peer support significantly increase a teen’s feelings of safety, resilience, and engagement in their healing journey. As counselors, we are not merely therapists—we are builders of bridges back to hope. If you are standing in the gap for hurting youth today, be encouraged: your listening ear, your empathetic heart, your faith-infused words—they matter. Never underestimate the power of communication anchored in compassion and truth. A young life’s tomorrow may be forever changed because you chose to show up with both skill and soul.

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Depression, EMDR Therapy, empower, faith, Family, healing, honesty, Mental Health, Psychotherapy, Self-Worth, teens

Fostering Emotional Health in Autism: MFT Strategies Enhanced with ABA Insights

May 2, 2025 by

Emotional well-being is foundational for learning, growth, and authentic connection. This is especially true for autistic individuals navigating a world often shaped by neurotypical expectations. Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) offers relational tools that nurture empathy, communication, and trust. At the same time, Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) provides data-driven methods to teach adaptive behaviors and track emotional growth.

When MFT and ABA come together, families experience both Heart and Horsepower: deep emotional healing and measurable progress.

Common Challenges & Integrated Solutions
1. Labeling Complex Emotions
Autistic children often recognize basic emotions like “happy” or “mad,” but nuanced feelings—
such as “anxious excitement” or “melancholic calm”—can be harder to identify.
Strategies:
• Feelings Wheel or Chart
Display a chart with both core and secondary emotions; revisit it daily.
• Emotion Journaling
Use drawings, stickers, or emojis to describe their feelings after key moments (e.g.,
school, outings).
• Real-Time Labeling
Gently suggest words when noticing mood shifts:
“I see you got quiet after the lights dimmed—maybe you feel a bit nervous or tired?”

Template: Daily Feelings Journal

Time Event How I Felt (Choose 1–2 words) Sticker/Drawing
8 AM Getting ready for school Tired, nervous 
3 PM Playdate ended Sad, calm 

 

2. Routine Distress
Even minor changes in schedule can be overwhelming, often triggering shutdowns or
meltdowns.
Strategies:
• Visual Schedules with If–Then Cues
Pair expected vs. adjusted plans side by side:
“If snack is at 3:10, then play starts at 3:30.”
• Preview & Practice
Use a short social story or simple role-play:
“Today we’ll eat later—how might our body feel?”
• Flexible Transition Tools
Offer a sensory-friendly bridge, such as music or a fidget toy during unplanned gaps.

3. Social Anxiety & Avoidance
Interpreting social cues on the fly can feel like juggling flaming torches. Many autistic kids
retreat into comfort behaviors to cope.
Strategies:
• Social Stories & Scripts
Create a one-page guide like “How to Join a Circle Game,” with sample phrases.
• Graded Exposure
Start with short, low-pressure interactions (e.g., 5-minute chats with a new peer).
• Peer Buddies
Pair them with a peer who understands their style and offers gentle cues.

Emotional Health Within the Family System
Strained Dynamics
Emotional dysregulation affects everyone. Parents and siblings may feel torn between helping
and helplessness.
Strategies:
• Family Debrief Circles
Everyone shares one feeling and one need.
“I feel overwhelmed; I need a 5-minute break.”
• Siblings as Helpers
Assign age-appropriate roles (e.g., “You can press play on his calm-down song”).
• Safe Space Agreements
Designate a calming corner or pop-up tent for anyone needing quiet.

Template: Family Debrief Notes 

Family Member Feeling Need
Mom Frustrated Quiet break
Sibling Worried More prep time
Child Tired Snuggle time

Caregiver Burnout
The constant vigilance required can lead to exhaustion, guilt, and withdrawal.
Strategies:
• Scheduled Respite
Protect 90 minutes each week for solo time, without explanation.
• Intentional Micro Breaks
Use a 5-minute ritual (tea, stretch, fresh air) with a timer.
• Peer Support
Join nonjudgmental groups to share wins and challenges.

Template: Self-Care Plan 

Day Micro Break Respite Time Support Group?
Monday Tea & window time 6–7:30 PM 
Thursday Stretch break — 

MFT Techniques for Emotional Regulation
A. Emotion Coaching in the Family Context
1. Affective Validation
“I can see you’re upset because the game changed.”
Naming the feeling reduces its power and confusion.
2. Emotional Turn-Taking
Use a timer—each person speaks for 60 seconds, no interruptions.
Builds empathy and communication.

B. Circular Communication Styles
• Linking Cause & Effect:
“What did you feel when the timer rang early?”

• Mapping Patterns:
Draw a “Trigger → Emotion → Response” chart to visualize emotional loops.

Template Mapping Patterns: 

Trigger Emotion Response
Alarm rings Confusion Running out of the room
Loud sound Fear Running away

C. Emotion-Focused Therapy Techniques
• Safe Approach Drills:
Parents calmly approach with open hands and soft voices to build trust.
• Guided Dialogues:
Use scripts like: “I’m worried when you bolt from the room. Can we think of a better
plan together?”

ABA Contributions That Enhance MFT Work
Functional Behavior Assessments (FBA)
• Track Antecedent → Behavior → Consequence to understand emotional triggers.
• Identify reinforcers—like escape or attention (see template examples)—that may
unintentionally maintain a behavior.

Template: ABC Chart 

Antecedent Behavior Consequence
Asked to clean up Screaming/Yelling “no” Mom walked away 
Using the bathroom Yelling “Mom” Mom comes in to help

Teaching Emotional Skills with Behavior Protocols
• Differential Reinforcement:
Reward calm “I’m frustrated” or “I need help” statements more than emotional outbursts.
• Prompt Fading:

Gradually remove adult guidance as the child learns emotional vocabulary and self-
regulation.

Data-Driven Progress Monitoring
• Use Visual Charts to plot progress in real-time.
• Set Baseline and Goal Metrics (e.g., reduce meltdowns from 4 to 1 per week).

Template: Weekly Progress Chart 

Day Meltdowns Calm Words Used Coping Tool Used
Monday 2 “I’m upset” x1 Stress ball

Final Thoughts
When MFT’s empathy-based approach joins with ABA’s precision, families gain more than
coping strategies—connection, confidence, and emotional clarity. With the right tools, emotional
health in autism isn’t just a goal—it’s a shared, achievable journey.

Printable Worksheets
1. Daily Feelings Journal- Helps children identify and express their emotions through words
and visuals.
2. Visual Schedule & First–Then Board- Assists in preparing for routine changes and
transitions.
3. Social Story Template- Guides children through social scenarios with step-by-step narratives.
4. Family Debrief Notes- Facilitates open communication about feelings and needs among
family members.
5. Self-Care Plan for Caregivers- Encourages regular self-care practices to prevent burnout.
6. ABC Behavior Chart- Tracks Antecedent, Behavior, and Consequence to understand
behavioral patterns.
7. Weekly Progress Chart- Monitors emotional regulation progress and sets achievable goals.

Written by Johana Calvo, Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern

Filed Under: Anxiety, Autism, Communication, Depression, Family, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, Mental Health

Navigating Mental Health in Unmargined Populations

December 20, 2024 by

Mental health is a universal concern that transcends societal boundaries, yet certain populations remain unseen, unheard, and unmargined in conversations surrounding mental well-being. In this blog post, we delve into the often-overlooked realm of mental health within unmargined populations, exploring the unique challenges they face and shedding light on the importance of inclusivity in mental health
discourse.

Defining Unmargined Populations:
Unmargined populations encompass individuals and communities that, due to various factors such as cultural background, socioeconomic status, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation, or other marginalized attributes, may face additional barriers to accessing mental health resources and support.

Unique Challenges:
1. Stigma and Cultural Barriers: Unmargined populations often encounter stigma associated with mental health within their own communities. Cultural norms and beliefs may contribute to the perception of mental health issues as a taboo subject, hindering open discussions and the seeking of help.

2. Intersectionality: Many individuals belong to multiple marginalized groups, experiencing what is known as intersectionality. The intersection of different identities can compound the challenges faced, leading to increased vulnerability to mental health issues.

3. Limited Access to Resources: Socioeconomic disparities and systemic inequalities may result in limited access to mental health resources, including therapy, counseling, and psychiatric services. Unmargined populations may face financial constraints or live in areas with fewer
mental health facilities.

4. Microaggressions and Discrimination: Daily encounters with microaggressions, discrimination, and prejudice can take a toll on mental well-being. Individuals from unmargined populations may grapple with the cumulative impact of societal biases on their mental health.

Strategies for Support and Inclusivity:
1. Culturally Competent Mental Health Services: Mental health services must be culturally competent, understanding and respecting diverse cultural backgrounds. This involves training mental health professionals to be aware of and sensitive to the unique needs of different
populations.

2. Community Outreach and Education: Initiatives that promote mental health awareness and education within unmargined communities are crucial. This can involve workshops, support groups, and informational campaigns tailored to address specific cultural contexts.

3. Inclusive Policies and Practices: Governments, institutions, and organizations need to implement policies and practices that are inclusive and considerate of the diverse needs of unmargined populations. This includes workplace accommodations, accessible healthcare, and anti-discrimination measures.

4. Peer Support Networks: Establishing peer support networks within unmargined communities can foster a sense of belonging and understanding. Shared experiences create a supportive environment where individuals feel comfortable discussing mental health without fear of judgment.

5. Advocacy and Amplification: Advocacy efforts are crucial for bringing attention to the mental health challenges faced by unmargined populations. Amplifying the voices of individuals within these communities helps challenge stereotypes and dismantle barriers to mental health support.

Conclusion:
Addressing mental health in unmargined populations requires a multifaceted approach that acknowledges the unique challenges these communities face. By fostering inclusivity, advocating for change, and prioritizing culturally competent care, we can work towards creating a mental health landscape that embraces and supports everyone, regardless of their background or identity. The journey towards mental well-being is a shared one, and it is imperative that no one is left behind.

Written by Sherline Herard, MH24002, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, EMDR Therapy, empower, Family, Men's Issues, Mental Health

Navigating the Holiday Blues: Finding Light in the Season of Shadows

November 22, 2024 by

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. However, for many individuals, it can also be a  challenging period marked by the holiday blues. These feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anxiety during the festive season are more common than one might think. In this blog post, we’ll explore the reasons behind the holiday blues and offer practical tips for navigating
this emotionally complex time.

Understanding the Holiday Blues:
1. Social Expectations: The holiday season comes with societal expectations of happiness and togetherness. This pressure to be festive and cheerful can be overwhelming, especially for those who may be dealing with personal challenges or losses.

2. Comparisons and Reflections: The holidays often prompt reflection on the past year, which can lead to comparisons and a sense of unmet expectations. Individuals may find themselves assessing their achievements, relationships, and life choices, potentially triggering feelings of
inadequacy or regret.

3. Loneliness: Not everyone has a robust support system or close-knit family to spend the holidays with. For those who are alone or have strained relationships, the season can amplify feelings of isolation and loneliness.

4. Financial Strain: The financial burden of gift-giving, travel, and hosting can contribute to stress and anxiety. The pressure to meet material expectations can be particularly challenging for those facing economic difficulties.

Navigating the Holiday Blues:
1. Acknowledge and Accept: The first step in addressing the holiday blues is acknowledging and accepting your feelings. It’s okay not to feel festive all the time, and recognizing your emotions is an essential part of self-care.

2. Set Realistic Expectations: Manage your expectations and understand that perfection is not the goal. Embrace imperfections and focus on creating meaningful moments rather than adhering to an idealized version of the holidays.

3. Reach Out for Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or support groups. Share your feelings and let others know if  you need company or assistance. Connecting with others can provide comfort and a sense of belonging.

4. Create New Traditions: If traditional holiday activities trigger negative emotions, consider creating new traditions that align with your current circumstances and bring joy. This could include volunteering, starting a new hobby, or taking a solo trip.

5. Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care during the holidays. Take time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or practicing mindfulness.

6. Seek Professional Help: If the holiday blues become overwhelming and persist, consider seeking professional help. Mental health professionals can provide support, coping strategies, and a safe space to explore and address underlying issues.

The holiday blues are a common and valid experience that many individuals navigate each year. By acknowledging these feelings, setting realistic expectations, reaching out for support, and practicing self-care, it’s possible to find light in the midst of the seasonal shadows. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and prioritizing your well-being is key to making it through the holiday season with
resilience and grace.

Written by Sherline Herard, MH24002, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Depression, Family, honesty, Inspire, love, Uncategorized

Emotional Affairs and Personality Disorders in Marriage and Family Therapy

November 8, 2024 by

Navigating the Complex Terrain of Emotional Affairs and Personality Disorders in Marriage and Family Therapy
In the intricate landscape of marriage and family therapy, the challenges posed by emotional affairs can be even more profound when compounded by personality disorders. Whether you’re a therapist working with couples or someone navigating these issues personally, understanding the interplay between emotional connections and mental health is essential.

Understanding Emotional Affairs
Emotional affairs often begin as a friendship that deepens into a connection characterized by intimacy and secrecy. Unlike physical infidelity, emotional affairs involve a significant emotional investment in someone outside the marriage, which can lead to feelings of betrayal and profound hurt.

For couples, these affairs can signal deeper issues within the relationship, such as unmet emotional needs, communication breakdowns, or a desire for validation. In therapy, it’s crucial to explore the underlying factors that led to the emotional affair while addressing the couple’s dynamics.

Written by Danielle Fous, Marriage and Family Graduate Student

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Couples/Marriage, Depression, Family, honesty, Intimacy, love, marriage, Mental Health