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Holly Jolly Stress

December 21, 2022 by April Brown

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Right? For some, the holiday season is a time to be anticipated. It’s a time for family, friends, celebrations, and thankfulness. Christmas carols boast of joy, love, cheer, family traditions and light hearts. This, however, is not the reality for some. The holiday season can be a time of extreme stress, exacerbated loneliness, depression, anxiety, and even grief. To make matters worse and the burden heavier, the holidays are also a time during which people tend to compare their lives to those around them, magnifying and compounding those negative feelings. Here are some important tips and reminders for those who struggle during the holiday season:

1. Consider creating new traditions for yourself if the old ones aren’t working.

2. Surround yourself with people who may be in a similar mindset during the holidays and need like-minded friendship and support. Focus on connecting with others even if it is not by conventional means. Avoid isolation and disconnection.

3. Recognize and accept your feelings without judgement. You are absolutely not alone. Be gentle with yourself and go out of your way to avoid potential triggers even if that means declining certain invitations.

4. Prioritize your self-care. Remember, the holiday season is just that: a season. If this time of year is particularly difficult for you, remember it will pass.

Written by Nicole Geddie – Graduate Student in Mental Health Counseling

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, empower, faith, Family, kindness, love, Mental Health, Self-Worth

FORGIVENESS IS ESSENTIAL FOR HEALING

June 23, 2022 by April Brown

Forgiveness is a tool that we all possess as humans, but if you choose not to utilize your tool it becomes something that is foreign and many times it leads to something that we feel we no longer possess.

The truth is that forgiveness is a necessary tool to utilize in your daily life because it a tool that kick starts healing in your life both mentally and physically. According to Kirsten Weir, Research has shown that forgiveness is linked to mental health outcomes such as reduced anxiety, depression and major psychiatric disorders, as well as with fewer physical health symptoms and lower mortality rates.

In life, energy is something that we definitely utilize everyday, but if the energy you contain is contaminated with a lot of ongoing pain that you choose to not relieve yourself of it leads to various developments of mental and or physical conditions. This is why forgiveness is meant for the survivor rather than the offender that inflicted the pain.

Many may assume that forgiveness means that you are letting someone off the hook, but this is false evidence appearing real because forgiveness really means that a person is choosing to forgive the experience that they had and is choosing to relieve their-self of the negative emotions that has had a hold on them for years because of the choice to hold on to the constant pain and torment that is familiar to them.

When you choose to not forgive it is as if you are drinking a toxic drink and expecting those that hurt you to reap the consequences of it.

Forgiveness is a process and in that process the first step is to be willing to allow yourself to be open to forgiving. Then acknowledge all hurt and pain rather than consuming it as something you can never overcome. Once this is done identify how not forgiving is helping or not helping you. In addition, identify how forgiveness could help you and what your life could be like if you chose to forgive. After going over all of this review everything that you identified and based upon your realizations choose what will serve your life for the better because your life is yours and nobody else can live it but you.

Written by Bria Young, Registered Mental Health Counseling Intern

Reference

Weir, Kirsten. (2017). Forgiveness can improve mental and physical health. American Psychological Association. Vol. 48 (1). Pg. 30

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Couples/Marriage, Depression, empower, Family, honesty, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, Mental Health, Self-Worth, selfless, Women Empowerment

When Positivity Becomes Toxic

June 2, 2022 by April Brown

Have you ever heard the following phrases?

“Positive vibes only.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“Failure is not an option.”
“Why are you so upset? So-and-so has it much worse.”
“Look on the bright side.”

If these sound familiar, it’s because this type of mindset is glorified in mainstream culture. Toxic positivity is the belief that one should focus on the bright side of things and keep moving forward while ignoring or neglecting the negative aspects of life. While the intention is seemingly optimistic and positive, the impact is nothing short of harmful. Imagine having to be objectively strong, ambitious, successful, level-minded, in control, unaffected, emotionally stable, invincible, and perfect all the time. What an exhausting way to live! Toxic positivity essentially tells us that it’s not okay to be human because being human is messy and difficult. This is why so many people suffer in silence and feel like they’re failing in life. But what if we began looking at these positive attributes through a realistic and empowering lens rather than a dismissive one? What if we acknowledged that part of being “strong” is learning how to grow through moments of weakness? What if we believed that part of remaining “in control” is recognizing that there are things outside of our control and focusing on the things we can help? What if we accepted that part of being “emotionally stable” is becoming familiar with the emotions that hurt and feel uncomfortable and learning how to process these emotions in healthy ways? I believe we can normalize the real human experience and allow others to feel more comfortable and free to admit they aren’t doing well, ask for help, and receive support! No one should have to suffer alone or in silence.

Here are some healthier phrases to replace toxic positivity:

“I’m here for you.”
“I am so sorry that happened to you.”
“You have every reason to feel that way.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“How can I support you right now?

Written by Cindy-Joy Rosado, Graduate Student in Mental Health Counseling

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Couples/Marriage, Depression, empower, Family, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, Mental Health, Self-Worth

Speak Your Mind In Therapy

April 14, 2022 by April Brown

There are many issues that arise over a lifetime for which we may need assistance from a mental health counselor in working through. We are social creatures, but we can get lost or trapped in our own thoughts. This is when we need a trusted someone to help us see ourselves in a new way. Typically, we only share portions of our thinking, or depending on the listener, we share very edited versions of our thoughts. Depending on your situation, you feel your friends or loved ones don’t want or need to hear all that is going on in your head. This is where mental health counseling can help.

A mental health counselor assists others by listening and identifying areas of change. But something else is also happening during therapy sessions. You are speaking your mostly unedited thoughts aloud for someone else to better understand you. Focusing on yourself in therapy and without editing for the listener’s needs or wants allows you to better understand your own thoughts through this clarification process.

This happens with couples as well. In relationships, we may fall into communication styles that become frustrating cycles. These can become predictable enough for one person in the relationship to recite both sides of an entire argument routinely experienced with their significant other. The therapist can assist in recognizing and changing these cycles of communication. Here again, speaking these thoughts aloud is helpful because the couple works to identify how they are thinking and feeling in a clear way for themselves, for one another and for the therapist.

Families benefit from therapy through these same processes with the added benefit of shared insight within the family. When parents, separated or divorced co-parents, and/or stepparents and their children of all ages are included in sessions, there is opportunity for shared understanding and change. For example, parents may benefit from learning their fears or concerns for their children aren’t their children’s concerns. Children also see their parents making a healthy choice to seek assistance for issues that arise and watch as they model healthy coping skills for these issues within the family. What better way to change generational communication cycles that keep families stuck and repeating destructive patterns of behavior?

Whether you are interested in individual, couples, or family therapy seeking the services of a mental health counselor to discuss your needs provides an opportunity for sharing one’s most unedited thoughts and concerns. This new way of sharing and learning is the perfect opportunity to change yourself and your relationships.

Written by April Daniel

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Couples/Marriage, Depression, Family, honesty, Intimacy, love, marriage, Mental Health, Self-Worth, Sexual Health

Bringing Intimacy Back Podcast Becomes Non-Profit

April 8, 2022 by April Brown

Bringing Intimacy Back, a podcast that is dedicated to inspire, enlighten, and encourage intimate connections, is officially registered as a non-profit. Visit Bringing Intimacy Back for more information and watch previous shows or follow their social media (Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, & Twitter).

Bringing Intimacy Back, a registered 501(c)(3) non-profit, has provided an engaging environment to discuss how to enhance intimacy in one’s personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, Spirit, and oneself. Bringing Intimacy Back is always the place where intimacy comes alive, where intimacy has no limits; it is Where Intimacy is Real.

Dr. April Brown is a Licensed Mental Health Christian Counselor (LMHC), Certified School Counselor (CSC), Certified Relationship and Sex Therapist, Board Certified TeleMental Health Counselor (BC-TMHC), National Certified Counselor (NCC), and a Qualified Clinical Supervisor. Kanya Ford best known as Coach Kay is a clinical sexologist, master sexologist, Bedroom Kandi consultant, and owner of Love & Intimacy 101, LLC coaching practice.

Two strong, independent entrepreneur women with the education and dedication to educate and improve intimacy for viewers as a non-profit podcast. Hosts Dr. April Brown and Kanya Ford are on a mission to increase intimacy in a world that is so disconnected by asking the nitty, gritty questions you are all dying to ask. Bringing Intimacy Back is based on building intimate connections to empower us to live a more fulfilling, driven, and purposeful life. It is time we squash our fears and be comfortable with finding our true intimate selves and Bringing Intimacy Back is the podcast that does just that. Live shows every Thursday at 3:30 pm eastern time, new intimate topics alongside new guests, no topic is off-limits.

With the advancements in technology, staying communicated and reaching a lot more people has never been so easy, but it comes at a price. Technology has also caused distance, we are all guilty of staying glued to our phones, if we are being honest, any technology we can get our hands-on. Bringing Intimacy Back is here to close the gap, lack of intimacy is one of the top three reasons why relationships fail or face problems. The higher the intimacy level is, the lower there is of anxiety, depression, stress, relationships failing, and arguments within the relationship.

The podcast you didn’t know you needed, but you finally found. The first steps in building and establishing strong intimate connections start with you, what better place to do it than taking a plunge into Bringing Intimacy Back. The podcast with a purpose to inspire, educate, and encourage stronger intimate connections and now proudly so as a non-profit. Bringing Intimacy Back registered as a non-profit created for its viewers, reaching new heights and exploring intimacy. Tune in for LIVE shows every Thursday at 3:30 pm EST or visit Bringing Intimacy Back for more episodes.

Written by Rachel Gonzalez

Filed Under: empower, Family, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, Podcast, Self-Worth, Women Empowerment

Divine Connection Starts with Family

April 1, 2022 by April Brown

A strong, close, trusting, stable, and loving relationship is the goal in life. Our first source of love comes from our own families. We learn what love is by watching our parents and we take what we learn with us in life. When we start dating to marriage, our learned traits come into play with these relationships. Our first memories of love were not watching it on the TV screen, it was right in front of us all along. How we view ourselves, how we approach situations, and how we view life are all being formed from a young age through the family. Have you ever wondered what makes you, you?

You are who you are in part because of family. It has shaped your person; keep in mind that family is the building block for emotional development. It is the reasoning behind how we cope with our emotions and how we are able to express ourselves. Family has always been there for us when we needed them the most; we can all remember a time when we turned to family for support and comfort during tough moments. That divine connection between you and family is irreplaceable, it is the greatest treasure that should be kept close to your heart.

“So much of what is best in us is bound up in our love of family, that it remains the measure of our stability because it measures our sense of loyalty.”- Haniel Long