Yes, sometimes we disagree, even argue.  We have more conflict with those we are closest to because we share so much of ourselves and our lives with those we love most. Conflict is inevitable, but it doesn’t always have to bring distance in a relationship. When used as a tool to explore our differences, conflict can work to bring us closer.

Here are our tips for maximizing intimacy, even during conflict:

• Maintain your composure.  The key here is tone of voice (and volume)  Being loud doesn’t make you right, it stalls communication.
• Attack the argument, not the person – name calling is never fair, don’t do it.
• Be polite.  Be mindful of your partners thoughts and don’t interrupt.
• Say you’re sorry.
• Focus only on the issue at hand.  Focus on the present.

At Cape Coral and Fort Myers Therapists we see couples every day whose lives are forever changed by exploring conflict and intimacy and how to fight fair.  We want to help you too. We are currently accepting new clients at both locations for quality counseling services.

If you are not a resident of Florida, and find your relationship in turmoil we are excited to announce we are now accepting applications for Vacation Counseling for the 2020 season.  Are you in need of a vacation where the intimate connection can be found?  Where your partner listens and gains valuable insight?  A vacation with out kids?  A vacation in paradise?   Vacation Counseling is your next vacation.

Today’s topic is abundant and far reaching.  Communication leads to deeper intimacy.  Intimacy leads to better communication.  Communication IS intimacy and intimacy IS communication.

People connect through talking and keeping the communication channels open brings an abundance of intimacy into our relationships.  Be it with friends, family, or your partner.

Some things to consider when sharpening your communication skills:

• Listen and value the other person’s ideas
• Be loving, compassionate, respectful and truthful
• Be open in your communication to them
• Eliminate distractions whenever possible

Follow these quick tips and you will be well on your way to meaningful communication and authentic intimacy.

As always, we are here to help.  If you or someone you love is in need of our services please reach out today.

Find out what blockages are keeping your from having self-intimacy.

Insecurities play a major role in our ability to be self-intimate. Past trauma and abuse play a major roles in our insecurities not allowing any intimacy to develop in our lives. In addition, a lack of communication can seriously hamper any attempts to develop intimacy in our lives. Keep in mind one that of the most important components of intimacy is the ability to communicate. This also includes the inability to communicate effectively with our-selves. A lack of communication with one-self happens when we live in denial or are unable to see the reality of our decisions and actions.

Take care of yourself.

Isolation is not the key and can be painful for some. Peace and solitude, however, is one of life’s most precious gifts. Whether it’s spending a day at home alone or going out solo for coffee or a movie, doing things on your own can build confidence and help strengthen your inner bond. Or, why not go bold? Take yourself on a relaxing holiday or sign up for a new class without knowing a single person in it.

Dr. April Brownis a leading author in the development of self-intimacy and relationship intimacy. If your life is lacking the intimacy it so desperately needs contact us.

Contact us if you find yourself being overly distant in your relationships, as cognitive behavioral therapy, along with couples counseling may be necessary. A mental health professional can help a person explore past and present relationships and determine if there is a pattern of anxiety or stress.

What Is Conflict Intimacy?

Conflict Intimacy is focused on facing and understanding the differences couples may have, and being able to respect those differences. Conflict resolution is a skill that couples must learn in order to maintain conflict intimacy.

Spiritual intimacy is often misunderstood by majority of couples. In relationships couples often have different  religious views and fail to realize that they still can connect spiritually. Spiritual intimacy is not about having identical views on religion, it about connecting to the spirit of your mate. This connection spiritually will overcome the challenges of being in a relationship that couples face.

What Exactly Is Spiritual Intimacy?

According to Dr. April Brown, Spiritual Intimacy is discovering and sharing values, religious views, spiritual feelings, meaning in life, etc. Therfore, regardless of religious views, it is essential for couples to develop spiritual intimacy regardless of personal religious views. Couples with differing views religiously often fall in love, this is not uncommon. The problem is that because of the differing views no further attempt is made to connect spiritually. Couples who disagree religiously can still pray together, meditate together, go somewhere scenic and beautiful and just sit under a tree. There are numerous ways to connect spiritually but many couples fail to put forth the effort.

What Can Couples Do To Build Spiritual Intimacy?

Intimacy Counseling

Intimacy is the sharing of one’s soul with another person’s, depth of trust, and profound insights into each other. That level of emotional interaction strengthens  character, focus and integrity. Social media and other outlets have degraded the concept of intimacy in relationships, as a “What’s in it for me?” mindset has settled in. Intimacy has been perverted from its respected form into something that is lacking in most relationships today.

The continuous degradation of intimacy in relationships has led to more couples seeking counseling.

FEAR OF INTIMACY

Intimacy can help you feel more loved and less alone. But intimacy also requires a great deal of trust and vulnerability, and you may find this frightening. Many people struggle with intimacy, and fear of intimacy is a common concern in therapy.

People can fear intimacy due to a variety of reasons. Some of the most common causes include:

• Abandonment Issues: You may fear that once you become attached to someone, that individual will leave.
• Fear of Rejection: You might worry that once you reveal any flaws or imperfections, the other person will no longer want to be with you.
• Control Issues: You may fear losing your independence as you become emotionally connected to others.
• Past Abuse: A history of childhood abuse, especially sexual abuse, may make it difficult for you to trust others.

BUILDING INTIMACY IN A RELATIONSHIP

It is possible to overcome fears of intimacy. A compassionate counselor can help you understand the underlying emotions driving your fear. They can help you address these feelings and find healthier ways to cope with them besides isolating yourself. Dr. April Brown is a Licensed Mental Health Christian Counselor, Certified School Counselor, Distance Certified Counselor, National Certified Counselor, and a Qualified Clinical Supervisor. She has a thriving private practice in Cape Coral and Fort Myers, Florida where she specializes in intimacy counseling

Sometimes mental health issues like avoidant personality disorder can also contribute to intimacy issues. Treating these diagnoses can also offer significant benefits.

The following suggestions may allow you and your partner to grow closer.

• Be patient. Getting to truly know someone is a serious time commitment. The trust-building process is often a slow one. Intimacy is not a race.
• Start with the easy stuff.If you find it easier to talk about the future than the past, then start by sharing your dreams and goals. As trust builds, you may find it less frightening to talk about the more difficult topics.
• Talk openly about your needs. Are you someone who needs a lot of time alone to recharge? How often do you like to have sex? You can prevent a lot of misunderstandings if you tell your partner plainly what you want instead of assuming your desires are “obvious”.
• Respect each other’s differences.Even the most intimate partners still have their own identities. You and your partner do not need to agree on everything in order to love each other.

  Are you and your significant other struggling in your connection to one another?   For some reason, that bond or closeness seems to be going away.  There is a wall between you two.  Intimacy coaching can help, because it is a process to help men and women who are struggling with the issues of love, intimacy, and romance, get the love and relationship they want.

  In the coaching sessions, Dr. April will work on breaking down the walls that prevent intimacy through:

  • Exploring each person’s mind, body, and spirit

  • Uncovering each person’s thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that have been unconsciously forming their sexual attitudes and behaviors

  • Learning, understanding, and communicating each person’s needs, wants, and desires

  • Repairing and creating passionate strong bonds that will create and maintain satisfying intimacy.

    For more information about intimacy coaching, contact Dr. April – where intimacy is real.

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