Like many of you, I’ve suddenly found myself working from home.  Stress levels are high as we contend with our new normal.  The safety of seeing clients in my medical office building is abruptly and unexpectedly filled with uncertainly.  Suddenly doorknobs, hands extended in greeting, elevator call buttons, even the air around us are met with suspicion.  Standing near someone who clears their throat takes on new meaning. Public life is changing in response to COVID-19.  At this moment, most of us are still reeling in shock, frantically trying to interpret the implications of the drastic changes suggested by government officials and medical practitioners alike.  Maintaining physical distance from our friends, neighbors, colleagues, and strangers is becoming the new normal.  In light of these changes, what’s to come of Therapy?

Of course, therapists may screen people on the phone to make sure both feel that online work is likely to be a good fit.  A few tips to get you started:

• Expect some connection challenges in the first session or two.  Sometimes you need to figure out where you get the best reception to maintain an hour-long video call, or experiment with different web browsers.
• Give yourself a few moments of quiet time before your session, just as if you were sitting in a waiting room.  Otherwise, you will feel too distracted trying to make the mental leap from life into therapy.
• Create a routine for yourself just as you would in a therapist’s office.  Make that cup of tea before you begin, and sit in the same location.  Take a few moments at the end of your session to consider what you learned.  Resisting the temptation to jump right back into life will help you solidify your gains.

Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.  Just remember that we are all in this together and that in due time, we will get through this.

Vacations are great. They help us relax, de-stress, engage in pleasurable activities and enjoy each other.   Studies show that vacations are generally good for your health and wellbeing. Going on vacation with your significant other can indeed help you get to know each other better, make new joint memories, and try new things together – all beneficial for couplehood.

1.  Let go of expectations, especially when it comes to feelings.

When you expect you or your partner to feel a certain way (overjoyed, romantic, relaxed, elated) on that planned sunset boat ride or mountain summit, you might be disappointed.  She might get mildly seasick and feel too hot to enjoy the boat, or he might be exhausted and apprehensive thinking about hiking down the mountain. So instead of expecting to have specific emotions or trying to control them, focus on what you can control: your actions.

2.  Acknowledge your differences intolerance of uncertainty and plan accordingly.

This is one of the most common things that trip couples up.  One of you might be a spontaneous daredevil who is eager to explore all that is unknown, uncertain, and unpredictable.  And the other might get anxious at the mere thought of anything unplanned, uncertain or unpredictable. You are both likely somewhere on the continuum between these two extremes. Talk about this honestly before your vacation, figure out what you can compromise on, and leave the rest for some scheduled solo time or another vacation.

3.  Relax and prioritize sleep.

Both the quantity and quality of sleep can predict more couple conflict the next day.  And more conflict tends to lead to worse sleep, creating a vicious circle. So, make sure that both of you are getting enough sleep on vacation.  Moreover, create good conditions for healthy slumber: Sleep in a cool, dark, and quiet space; moderate your drinking; choose comfortable bedding.

4.  Detach from work and unplug.

Try to unplug from screens and electronic devices as much as possible.  Even five days off of social media has been shown to reduce stress. Using your vacation as a tech or social media detox period can dramatically reduce negative effects. You will be surprised how much more you and your partner will enjoy your vacation if you just put your phones on airplane mode, even for a couple of hours at a time.

5.  Learn something new together.

If possible, use vacation as an opportunity to try to learn something new as a couple. The effect is especially strong for couples who have been together for a long time.  This does not mean that you have to try tandem bungee jumping next time you take off for vacation. A cooking class or an art class would be fun.

Dr. April Brown has a great opportunity for couples to receive one on one counseling, and a vacation in a luxury suite, with fun excursions though Vacation Counseling Retreat. For more information, please check out https://www.vacationcounseling.com/ application available now for May 2020!

How Trauma Affects The Brain

There are many reasons that trauma hurts us. One thing you may not know is that trauma physically changes our brains. When you experience a traumatic event, your mind changes. Areas of your brain that once worked in a particular way change based on hyperarousal due to trauma. For example, the amygdala gets over-activated after a traumatic experience. When you hear the phrase “fight, flight or freeze” that’s when you have a physical and emotional response to a trigger. You remember your trauma, and your amygdala becomes overactive. You’re hypervigilant, and you’re on alert, making sure that you’re safe from danger. Your trauma is real, and your brain is telling you that you’re hurting and need help.

Getting Help For Trauma

It’s essential to get help after you’ve experienced trauma. You need to talk about your pain and start to process what happened to you. This may sound scary but think of it as an empowering statement. You truly have the ability to process past events and live an empowering, fulfilled life. One of the best places to do this processing is with a mental health professional who is skilled at helping people who have been through trauma. There are many kinds of therapy, but trauma therapy is explicitly focused on helping people who have had unfortunate things happen to them. Remember you didn’t bring your trauma upon yourself, but you can take steps to heal from it with the support of mental health professionals. You can work with a therapist in your local area or seek the help of an online therapist.

What Is Trauma Therapy?

Trauma therapy is a type of mental health treatment that counselors use to help people overcome psychological trauma. A traumatic event is defined as one in which you perceive a threat to your life, bodily integrity, or sanity. The other component of the definition is your reaction to the event or situation. If you can cope with the event, even if it is a serious threat, it isn’t trauma. Trauma occurs when your ability to handle the event is comprised.

Trauma therapy is not one specific type of treatment. A variety of therapies can be used alone or in conjunction with one another to help you deal with the trauma and move on with your life. If you seek trauma therapy, the best way to begin is to find out what type of therapy the counselor uses to treat trauma patients.

Goals of Trauma Therapy

Before you undertake any type of counseling or any endeavor at all for that matter, it’s important to know what you want to get from it, what you want to accomplish, and how you want your life to look when it’s over. It is important to be aware of your trauma, what your triggers are, and in what way do you react. It is also important to know what your goal in therapy will be? Is it to tell your story? To create awareness? To be at peace? To confront your abuser, or some other reason not listed?

The most crucial goals of trauma therapy are typical:

• To face the reality of the past event without getting stuck in it
• To reduce or eliminate trauma symptoms
• To work towards shifting focus from the past to the present
• To improve daily functioning
• Raise awareness of hereditary trauma
• To reclaim your personal power
• To overcome addictions associated with traumatic stress
• To gain skills that prevent relapse

You may have unique goals of your own based on the kinds of problems you’ve encountered since the trauma and the kind of life you want to move towards. Talk to your counselor early on to decide what you hope to gain from your time in trauma therapy.

If you are seeking Help for Trauma, please contact Cape Coral Therapist @info@draprilbrown.com or call us  (239) 565-6921