love Archives - Page 4 of 6 - Cape Coral Therapists

Guide Your Child Through Life

July 28, 2023 by April Brown

Figuring out the best way to guide your child through life can be scary. There is no perfect manual that tells parents what to do when your child throws a temper tantrum at the grocery store, when your child refuses to eat anything but cookies and chicken nuggets, when your child becomes curious about life, when your child experiences their “terrible twos or terrible teens.”

Ultimately, parenting is a ‘learn as you go” journey. There are several great books that teach parents some really useful strategies when navigating through different stages in your child’s emotional development. One thing that I suggest to parents is to assess their parenting approach. The beauty of a child’s development is that they are taking in their environment. A parent’s parenting style is a major source of influence on how a child will interact with others in their adult life. Children thrive off of high expectations while being supported and guided in a loving environment. When parents take an authoritative approach, parents recognize that their child and/or teen are still developing emotional maturity and depend on their guidance and limits to navigate through life. Through their guidance and boundaries, parents empower their children to make decisions. A because “I said so approach” is not taken but statements like “what do you think about..” “I do or do not think this is a good idea because…” ‘Which one would you choose…” “Help me understand…” “I can understand you are upset but it has to be this way because…”

Creating healthy parent-children relationships is important in creating healthy and secure adult individuals.

Written by Jessica Sagastume – Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Bilingual and Immigration Counselor

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, empower, Family, honesty, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, Mental Health

The Backwards Law

June 22, 2023 by April Brown

The concept of the “Backwards Law” comes from East-Asian Taoist and Zen Buddhist philosophies. The term comes from the works of Alan Watts, a prominent teacher of eastern philosophies in the west. The idea is very simple: the pursuit of something is simultaneously the pleasure and pain of it. On the one hand, humans are historically and philosophically happiest when they are working from scratch. When humans are coming from a place of nothing and striving towards something. The journey toward the goal is what brings humans the pleasure of it; not the goal itself. Once we attain whatever goal we strive toward, we may experience fleeting, momentary happiness, but it quickly dissipates in favor of pursuit of some other goal. We are only happy when the carrot is on the stick, we absolutely hate when we actually get it. Evolutionarily speaking, it is easy to see why we operate this way. An organism that is constantly dissatisfied with its surroundings and works tirelessly to improve everything around it as though its very being depends on it (because it does) will always beat out an organism that does anything less. At the same time it is important to acknowledge that, as human beings who are inherently dissatisfied with their surroundings, we need the carrot to be on the stick. If there is no carrot, no thing to strive toward, humans become lost and depressed. This idea becomes more complex with every magnification of it.

So why even discuss this? What is the point of bringing any of this up? Within this concept lies the key to happiness and even, dare I say, a satiation with one’s surroundings. The pursuit of some great goal or reward is in itself the error that we make as humans. Author Mark Manson
argues that the pursuit of a positive is in itself a negative experience. By pursuing happiness, you inadvertently tell yourself that you lack it. The Taoists would argue that you have everything you need to be as happy as you want right now. The thing you must do is accept and appreciate what you already have around you. In other words, deny your programming. Take the carrot and the stick and throw them in the trash.

Desire itself can be seen as one of the basic reasons why humans suffer. According to Zen Buddhist ideology, every desire is an opportunity for suffering. If you desire something, you establish an expectation for it. Once you establish an expectation for something, all of the joy and positivity that could be had vanishes from it. The best example I can give for this can be seen in competition. When you compete, your desire is to win. Therefore, if you win, you won’t be happy, because you expected it to happen. Winning was what was supposed to happen. You prepared for it, you practiced for it, you spent hours, days, months, maybe even years training to achieve it. So when it happens, it isn’t perceived as a big, great thing. It’s perceived as the thing that was supposed to happen. However, when you lose you have violated all expectations. You have fallen short. You have failed. You weren’t good enough to achieve the thing. This is why, when we establish an expectation for something, you set a precedent for a situation in which there is no potential for happiness; only either what you expected, or something far worse. It is either a net 0 or a net negative. There is no chance for a net positive.

Think back to some of the best experiences you’ve ever had in your life. The most interesting experiences, the best stories you have to tell. I would be willing to bet that the majority of these stories involve a situation that did not go according to the plan. That is because we enjoy situations the most when we have no expectations for how we want them to go. When you have no expectation for an event, there is only a pure, genuine, natural version of yourself acting in the moment. You are not trying to do anything, you are not forcing anything. You are just doing. Alan Watts wrote: “when you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink; but when you try to sink, you float”. The central idea here, is that things are already perfect the way they are. Do not zoom in. Do not try to dissect and pick apart the details. Accept things for what they are, as they are, who they are, and you will have set yourself up to have some very nice times ahead of you.

Written by: Bryce Miller, M.S., Ed.S.
WTB Therapy, LLC.
Lincoln , NE 68516
Phone: (850) 204-7973

Filed Under: faith, Inspire, love

Tips for Planning for Self-Care

February 9, 2023 by April Brown

Reaching the point of burnout is, unfortunately, an all too common experience for many. Given the fast-paced, productivity-based work culture that exists in America today, burnout has essentially become the marker by which we measure success. The message we receive is this: “If you feel like you have exhausted your limits, then you are doing something right!” There is this tendency to equate how much we produce to whether or not our lives are worthwhile, but this could not be more untrue. Similarly, rest is often portrayed as something you earn once you have put in the work, but this is also false. Rest is not something we need to work toward, it is something our bodies and minds require in order for us to make it through life. With this in mind, I have compiled a list of helpful tips to utilize when planning for self-care. While I wish I could tell you I picked this up without error, the only reason I am able to make such a list is because I have tried and failed many times… And this is what I have learned!

1. Identify the difference between things that make you feel rested versus what makes you feel fulfilled. Some activities might fall into both categories, but it is helpful to distinguish between the two. Restful activities often alleviate stress and induce a sense of tranquility. Fulfilling activities are things one enjoys and are often fun. For example, meditating or going on a walk might help one feel rested, whereas painting or gardening might be fulfilling.

2. Identify the people and things that hinder your ability to unwind. For instance, if you are a parent and being around your child is stressful in that you focus solely on their needs, you may need to find someone to care for your child during your self-care time. Similarly, having your work phone on you while you attempt to rest might prevent you from being able to relax as your phone might go off or you might feel compelled to check it regularly.

3. Review your weekly schedule and identify spaces of time in which you are able to engage in self-care. Whether your schedule is wide open or packed with commitments, making time for self-care is something one has to be intentional about planning because it will not always “just happen” or “work itself out.”

4. Once you have decided on a restful or fulfilling activity, have ensured you will not be distracted by certain people or things, and have chosen a date and time for self-care, make sure all of your regular responsibilities are tended to prior. As an example, one might handle all of their house chores, clear out their inbox, and predetermine dinner plans in order to set themselves up for nothing but rest on the day of their self-care. This is important because “past you” is taking care of “future you” in a way that will make you feel even more taken care of.

5. Finally, make sure you plan for self-care at least once a week. While there are ways to find rest and fulfillment in small ways throughout the week, it is imperative that you care for yourself and separate blocks of time. If you are able to give so much to others (i.e. work, school, family, etc.), you need to be able to give yourself much as well.

Written by Cindy-Joy Rosado – Graduate Student in Mental Health Counseling

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, empower, faith, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, Mental Health, Self-Worth, selfless, Women Empowerment

Elevate Your Mood

February 3, 2023 by April Brown

How can we turn our good mornings into good days, and our good days into good evenings? One simple but potent way to help steer your mental health in the right direction is to be consistent about getting your daily dose of morning sunlight. Research heavily suggests that exposure to
early morning sun elevates mood by producing serotonin, a crucial chemical for the prevention and treatment of depressive symptoms. Being diligent in getting that morning sunshine is also a great way to create a routine that helps set the tone for the day, likely increasing productivity and overall satisfaction. It may be especially helpful to get outside in the sun for some physical activity in the morning, such as walking or running. This will increase endorphins, elevating your mood even further.

Furthermore, exposure to full-spectrum morning sunlight will help reset your circadian rhythm by suppressing melatonin in your system until it is needed later in the day, while increasing your serotonin giving you a boost in both energy and mood. When consistent, evidence suggests you’ll experience more restful, uninterrupted sleep creating a healthy sleep-wake cycle which plays a huge role in overall mental health and wellbeing. This one small change to your daily routine packs a powerful punch.

So grab your cup of coffee, and a good book, or put your walking shoes on and bask in that soft, early morning sunshine as you get ready to face the day ahead!

Written by Nicole Geddie – Graduate Student in Mental Health Counseling

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, Inspire, kindness, love, Self-Worth

Six Dimensions of Wellness

January 26, 2023 by April Brown

On the heels of world changing events like a global pandemic, many communities were intensely affected by Hurricane Ian in September. As we adjust to new challenges and situations which have arisen from these, we continue to experience the problems that existed before pandemics or natural disasters. Now, as we approach holidays and other stressful situations it is more important than ever to focus on key concepts for maintaining wellness.

Mental health counseling focuses on striving for wellness in all areas of our lives as foundational to managing stress and other mental health concerns. If you currently feel overwhelmed, lack direction, or simply don’t ‘know where to start try using the six dimensions of wellness listed below daily to gain control over your mental health and wellbeing.

Environment: First, take a look at your daily routines throughout the week and on the weekends. Your environment is your home, your commute, your workplace, etc. As you evaluate your space, you may feel calmer when your space is tidy and organized. This would become an area of focus each day by spending time to clean and organize and then to maintain this space. If your commute is stressful, take a look at areas you can improve. For example, choose calming music, an entertaining audiobook, or podcast to reduce the focus on the stressful aspects of the ride. Or turn the music off and use this time to transition from work to home.

Emotional: A daily focus on emotional wellness may begin with noticing your emotions throughout the day. Are you in control of your emotions? Do you struggle maintaining your level of calm, anxiety, happiness, sadness, or anger? Journaling is a great way to record your thoughts and learn more about the emotions you are experiencing. Therapy is a great place to jump start or explore this focus and to gain insight into how you are feeling and how you are currently managing.

Physical: Physical health is a dimension most of us are aware we need to focus on. A daily focus on physical health means eating foods that are nourishing, establishing a sleep schedule for adequate restorative sleep, going for a walk or taking time to stretch between activities throughout the day. These can be simple, but it requires us to make them a priority consistently to achieve wellness.

Intellectual: Learning something new every day can be the goal here. Or it can mean reading a new book, exploring a subject of interest at the library or online. Learn more about yourself as well by seeking to learn a new skill or hobby. Overlap between the dimensions might be helpful here, so use that long commute to listen to an audiobook or podcast.

Social: Focus on the social dimension might include calling a friend or a loved one just to check in and say hello. It may mean making time to visit a friend or family member. This could also be a time to overlap dimensions with the intellectual and join a group and learn to cook or paint. Volunteering your time is also a good way to develop friendships and make lasting contributions to the community.

Spiritual: This dimension is about your connection to your belief system. Meditation, prayer, or taking time to commune with nature are ways to recharge your batteries in this dimension. This also allows you to explore how you find meaning and the ways in which that meaning is influencing your life.

The six dimensions of wellness focus on our environment, emotional wellbeing, physical health, intellectual pursuits, spiritual involvement, and social interactions. Remember, we are individuals and our needs in each area will vary from person to person. Also, being flexible with how we focus on each dimension daily will help with making these a priority in some way every day. If you are having difficulty finding or maintaining balance in your life, reach out to a qualified mental health professional for assistance.

Written by April Daniel – Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Depression, empower, faith, honesty, Inspire, kindness, love, Mental Health, Self-Worth

Holly Jolly Stress

December 21, 2022 by April Brown

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Right? For some, the holiday season is a time to be anticipated. It’s a time for family, friends, celebrations, and thankfulness. Christmas carols boast of joy, love, cheer, family traditions and light hearts. This, however, is not the reality for some. The holiday season can be a time of extreme stress, exacerbated loneliness, depression, anxiety, and even grief. To make matters worse and the burden heavier, the holidays are also a time during which people tend to compare their lives to those around them, magnifying and compounding those negative feelings. Here are some important tips and reminders for those who struggle during the holiday season:

1. Consider creating new traditions for yourself if the old ones aren’t working.

2. Surround yourself with people who may be in a similar mindset during the holidays and need like-minded friendship and support. Focus on connecting with others even if it is not by conventional means. Avoid isolation and disconnection.

3. Recognize and accept your feelings without judgement. You are absolutely not alone. Be gentle with yourself and go out of your way to avoid potential triggers even if that means declining certain invitations.

4. Prioritize your self-care. Remember, the holiday season is just that: a season. If this time of year is particularly difficult for you, remember it will pass.

Written by Nicole Geddie – Graduate Student in Mental Health Counseling

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression, empower, faith, Family, kindness, love, Mental Health, Self-Worth

Restore Your Relationship

December 2, 2022 by April Brown

“The first step to problem solving in a relationship is to simply take the rope and set it down.”

When working with couple’s in conflict resolution. The first question I ask them is: “what is one step you can take to work towards a solution?” Being able to work towards healing and restoration in a relationship means creating a mental shift from focusing on all the areas the other partner is lacking, and begin to focus on what steps are needed to take to make your partner comfortable in working together as a team. It is easy to fall into a “tug of war” battle where each partner refuses to let go of their own personal perceptions, opinions, and truths. While it is important to acknowledge your own thoughts and feelings, it is also important to show empathy and understanding towards the other partner. Taking accountability of your own actions and coming together to fight against the problem versus each other creates a sense of “partnership”. Partnership means you are no longer on opposite sides of the playing field but working together as a team.

Written by Jessica Sagastume, MH# 16756 – Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Bilingual and Immigration Counselor

Filed Under: Communication, Couples/Marriage, honesty, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, marriage

Feminist Theory and Self-Care in the Modern Age

August 25, 2022 by April Brown

Rebranding the “Bimbo”

In 2022, young people have abandoned traditional theories of feminism and equality. Instead, they’re concentrating on something far more optimistic and unexpected: “bimboism.” But what exactly is a bimbo? Isn’t “bimbo” a derogatory term? And what does this have to do with mental health? The answer is, shockingly, quite a lot.

Traditionally, “bimbo” was defined as an attractive but insipid or “dumb” woman. Nowadays, young people are looking to reclaim the word. Feminist Theory has been prevalent in mental health counseling for decades; The work of Karen Horney comes to mind. But Millenials and Generation Z have a new take on feminism. Shot into the zeitgeist by Tiktok and Generation Z, the modern “bimbo” is the lovechild of social media and third-wave feminism. She stands for equality for all and, surprisingly, self-care & mental health. Syrena, a Tiktok creator known as @fauxrich, defined a bimbo as a traditionally or hyper-feminine woman often villainized for her love of traditionally feminine things, including self-care, caring for one’s physical appearance, and being in touch with one’s emotions. Griffin Maxwell Brooks, a Tiktok content creator, expanded on “the study of bimbology” in a video, saying, “nobody can tell you how to be a bimbo, since it isn’t about how people see you.” They continued, “There is no gender, class, color, or ability in the bimbo. The only prerequisite for bimbofication is embracing and reclaiming your body in the name of independence.”

For years, psychologists, therapists, and other mental health workers have worked for equal rights for both men and women. Unfortunately, in modern media and Western culture, traditionally feminine interests (such as watching romantic comedies, enjoying a spa day, or participating in any form of feminine activities as self-care) were seen as superficial, shallow, and for the unintelligent. Even in medical and mental health fields, the deep disdain for female emotions can be seen. For example, the verbiage of Histrionic Personality Disorder, with “histrionic,” originating from the Greek prefix hystera, meaning “womb” or “uterus.” Extreme emotions, attention-seeking behavior, and even being excessively consumed with grooming are all female-coded symptoms of HPD.

While the sub-culture of the new-age bimbo is relatively new on social media, what she represents is clear: a new, radical acceptance of all things traditionally feminine, including the full spectrum of her emotions, interests, and preferred self-care.

Written by Victoria Baker, Graduate Student in Mental Health Counseling

Filed Under: Depression, empower, honesty, Inspire, kindness, love, Self-Worth, Women Empowerment, Women's Issues

Nothing Changes if Nothing Ever Changes

August 11, 2022 by April Brown

Regardless of our thoughts or intentions for ourselves or others, this phrase reminds us we are experiencing difficulty because doing the same thing over and over isn’t working. We need to change. We need to break a cycle or a way of being.

Change can be very difficult which is the reason cycles repeat. Anyone can fall victim to habit or routine and the excuses that maintain them. We can see these cycles repeating among our families, friends, coworkers, and others. It is also evident when someone chooses to change. To do something different. This breaks the cycle.

Change doesn’t have to be big or even scary. Sometimes it is just the way we think about a certain situation, ourselves, or others. Thinking differently is the beginning of change.

Impactful change can result from changing our vantage point or location. These changes may alter our moods! Skeptical? Give it a try, the next time you feel anxious, depressed, hopeless, or frustrated.

Challenge yourself to stand up and walk to another room, to a window, or outdoors. See how just moving yourself can feel like the beginning of a bigger change. At the very least, you handled your situation in a different way. You chose to think of it differently and to act upon those thoughts which lead to powerful, meaningful changes.

If the small change felt good, challenge yourself to consider the next step in this change. Will you incorporate this change into your routine? Will you add to this step by taking another step toward your goal of changing your self-perception, your situation, or relationships? It can!

It all starts with one small change.

Written by April Daniel, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern #21443

Filed Under: Anxiety, Communication, Couples/Marriage, Depression, empower, faith, honesty, Inspire, kindness, love, Self-Worth

Summer Loving ❤️

June 30, 2022 by April Brown

Summer… Even the word brings on a sweet smile!

This spectacular time of year comes after spring and before fall. Many agree that it’s the best season of all. A time where we can all use a splash of replenishment as the days grow longer and the soul longs for sunshine and the sea.

Traditionally, this special season suspends the 3 R’s of reading writing and arithmetic and sets the stage for 2 R’s that are far more gratifying and satisfying to our mental health, rest, and relaxation.

Have you put much thought into making this summer sizzle? If not, it may be time to turn up the heat and consider the following FUN and affordable activities:

stargazing
exercising
gardening
pleasure reading
dancing/movement
yoga/pilates/tai chi
visiting a park/ zoo/ museum/ planetarium
building a treehouse
creating/sketching/ drawing/ painting/sidewalk chalk
praying/ meditating
collecting seashells
building a sand castle
hiking
writing/ sharing your story
kissing
playing board games
playing cards
playing hopscotch
playing sports
serving others
volunteering
baking
floating/ splashing in the sea
cycling/skating/roller blading
caking an ice cream sundae
other

Can you think of ten additions to begin your Summer Bucket List?
FUN things to do that lift your spirits and make your eyes sparkle!
If so, add them to create your unique summer bucket list! Check off as you complete and add other activists as you discover all of the pleasures of summer.
Let’s make the most of this awesome season!
Summer… I’m loving it!!

written by: Ria Ruane, MA, RMHCI art work by: Alexa Ruane

Filed Under: Communication, Couples/Marriage, empower, faith, honesty, Inspire, Intimacy, kindness, love, marriage, Mental Health, Self-Worth, Sexual Health, Women Empowerment

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